BIG DAWG’S GARDEN

I HONESTLY DIDN’T BELIEVE TRANS MEN WERE REAL MEN UNTIL I GOT PLAYED BY ONE!!!! NOW IM TRANSPHOBIC LIKE IM PHOBIC TOWARDS GETTING MY HEART BROKEN BY THESE DUDES WTF (to be real we had a good conversation and I’m feeling less bitter but I will be writing jokes about this)

Life update and NYC housing reflection over here in Big Dawg's Garden xxx I have spent the last 30 days tweaking out because I lost my housing: perhaps my fault for being stoned and not being on top of lease renewal, at least partially the fault of this brutal New York City capitalist landlord econo

FUCK BITCHES GET MONEY--I WANNA FUCK BITCHES GET MONEYYYYY--LIKE THIS IF YOU WANNA FUCK BITCHES GET MONEYYYYY

Being queer Is so gay Forgot it was my nonbinary transmasc boyfriend’s 6 month top surgery anniversary said something insensitive about their gender And they were like “I can’t believe you would say that On my anniversary” Well shit Whose the boyfriend now JOTD 15? I don’t remember

I’m really battling my own sexuality At a time I thought I was straight Then bisexual Then pansexual Then lesbian Then I started to feel trans Which naturally lead me To the warm embrace Of a sweet and delicate trans man But here’s the thing I’m very sexually attracted to him And I’ve never chopped

SOMEONE SAID TO ME OH YOU'RE BROKE AND ABOUT TO LOSE YOUR HOUSING? YOU NEED TO FUCK SOMEONE REAL GOOD AND JUST STAY IN THEIR BED BUT HERE'S THE THING HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TOP WHEN IM BROKE I DON'T HAVE CONTROL OVER MY LIFE YOU THINK I CAN CONTROL THAT PUSSY? NAH IM SO STRESSED THAT IM GOING CATATONI

WOOP! Took a week off to really bask in being 27. Back with a new joke: I actually support guys who get leg lengthening surgery Willingly getting your femur broken? The one thing that is more painful than childbirth? Now they know real pain Yes they're getting taller physically But more importantly

IM 27 ??!!! BIRTHDAYYYYY

A therapist said I might have BPD Borderline personality disorder I said no I can’t have that shit BPD is for small women You’ve never met a big bitch with BPD You know why? They’re in prison Small BPD is psychological manipulation and some bruises that’s kinda sexy and charming Big BPD? That’s of m

I was listening to a PTSD podcast Processing a lot of fears I really liked the show It was very clear and calming Was helping me rebuild my trust And then I noticed the podcast was fucking up Simple words I listened closer Was like “Is the podcast host an ai?” Went in and read the full description C

Adult depression Is so different Than youth depression Like as a youth I’d be depressed and Not understand what was going on Or how to communicate So I’d be like I’m gonna cut myself So someone notices I’m sad Or so I die for real As an adult I’m like I know what this is It is depression And I can c

Do you guys have a friend That’s genuinely the best person But is always saying the darkest Non standard shit We were on a trip down the west coast Saw a group of seals Amazing They were all barking and hanging out I look over at my friend Sunny She’s in awe And then says “This is way better” “I’ve

I was out with a group of friends The homie on maps Kept turning the wrong way Walked past the bar Took us into an alley? Why is the worst friend always on maps Anyways he’s like I’m so sorry. I’m just being so stupid today and we’re all like it’s all good man. It’s all good But damn h He’s also the

Is anyone coming to my San Francisco show tonight?🤞🏻

I LIVE IN NYC THEY SAY ITS THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS WHICH MEANS YOUR WAKING LIFE IS WHERE YOU GET YOUR DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES WOULDN’T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING NOT FOR OWNING PROPERTY NOT FOR HEALTH INSURANCE NOT FOR BEING ABLE TO AFFORD FOOD EVERY WEEK NOPE IM STAYING I DONT CARE THAT A HOMELESS MAN

I like my tits the way a boy likes tits Just staring at em in the mirror Thinking "Damn that's a nice rack" "I wish I could cut them off and put them on the wall" "Squeeze them when I jerk off or whatever" JOTD 6

There’s not one way To handle Trans genital dysphoria I always felt That my pussy Was something separate from me An independent being A lady I know But still a employee Of this body business My pussy is the secretary You gotta talk to her to get a meeting with the big man upstairs JOTD 5

AT A TIME I ADMIRED LOUIS CK SO DEEPLY I WOULD PLAY HIS STAND UP ON MY IPOD TOUCH WHILE I WAS GOING TO SLEEP DAMN NEAR EVERY NIGHT FOR 3 YEARS I WAS ALSO HORNY SOMETIMES I WOULD END UP JERKING OFF WHILE BEING LULLABIED BY LOUIS CKS STAND UP NOT LIKE INTENTIONALLY HE JUST HAPPENED TO BE THERE AND I N

New Joke of the dayyy 3 (a cold joke cuz I’m so hot it’s 100 degrees) IM STILL BROKE BUT THATS ALL RIGHT CUZ I USED TO BE BROKEN DROP THE N AND I CAN FEEL THAT SOON IM GONNA DROP THE K LIKE BRO WERE SO UP AND THEN BYE BYE O BRRRR IM SKIING TOO COLD LETS GO BACK TO THE CHALET AND GET OUR FURS

HEAT WAVE IN NYC TODAY GAH DAYUM!! STILL WROTE A JOKE THO- JOTD 2 (joke of the day) I've been taking mood stabilizers Since I was 19 I don't even know what's wrong with me Just saw a psychiatrist And they were like You need some stabilization So I been taking these pills And I go psycho without them

Brand New Joke of the day: I feel like the type of person Who would get a girl pregnant By accident Only problem is I'm gay So that's not happening You gotta have money to have a gay kid I'm on broke baby daddy energy Doesn't work the same I'm so broke the sperm bank closed my account And sent me to