S4E38.5: The Wandering Earth

Smother Chinese James Bond in his crib

From Beijing with Love. It's a Stephen Chow film that is a direct Bond parody. You're welcome

you might be charmed by Extreme Job (2019), where some undercover cops get 'jobs' in a restaurant for a longterm stakeout, but then they just get really into running the restaurant. good fun

RE: Bucket wheel extractors: Sorry ladies, you may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

Truly, the world is crying out for good sci-fi. The Culture series, the Children of Time series...

Might I suggest Rififi for the tail end of heist season, if it is not already on the list?

so while not exactly eurospy may I suggest the "Detective Chinatown" franchise, while not exactly eurospy, considering itself "detective buddy comedy" I think it fits the brief. Uncle Fuckup and The Murder Autism Kid are in a city outside of China (Bangkok, New York, Tokyo and 1900 San Francisco) and have to deal with a murder relating to the local Chinese community, while not being fully members of said community. Going by New York movie as a westerner, there seems to be a degree of bemused exoticism to it all, like it's probably stereotype land but I have a hard time getting offended at most of it.

I do not have a Chinese James Bond to recommend, but if you're looking at multipolar examples of James Bond in general I cannot recommend enough Ek Tha Tiger, aka Bollywood James Bond. And probably the sequel too.

PLEASE seek out Chinese spy movies, this is also a massive gap in my movie knowledge and I would love to learn about them

Wait. What amount do we have to raise for charity to get a tollywood/bollywood arc? I'd love to hear you all talk about like singham

The movie Nova describes by the end sound like Police Story 3, the first and last collab of Jackie Chan and Michelle Yeoh where she plays a Chinese policewoman and nearly gets killed for a very mid film. The stunts are really good tho.

"What do you mean you can't wait to get minoritized, you're transgender!" had me laugh-coughing up a lung at my work computer.

I just want to say I appreciated November's The Mountain Goats reference

Listening to this a few days late at work, blushing like a beet because of Dev's flattery at the very end. Honestly, it means a lot, thank you ❤️

I got into Chinese war movies/TV shows for a time because the vibes are absolutely wild. You can find the TV shows on that YouTube. Some fascinating little differences in mindset even with ostensibly similar storylines, different ideas of heroism and so on. Some interesting Korean War movies too, their propaganda is interestingly flattering. Which has to be deliberate.

oof new york mentioned

I can't believe you talked about this movie! I want to talk about this movie so much, I had the pleasure of being the lead concept artist on the movie, from the initial fund searching part to the VFX concept part! I'm dropping everything I'm doing to listen to that NOW, I'm sure November will hate it! Its an honor actually :D

for a Chinese Heist movie you should watch Let The Bullets Fly (2010) about 1920s Chinese bandits who try to heist a town by impersonating the new governor.

That whole but about trying to eat fondue in microgravity was hilarious and I wonder if a higher air pressure enviroment around the fondue set to avoid it floating around. Regarding the Chinese spy film I heard that Zhang Zimou released a film this year called Scare Out which was created with guidance from the Ministry of State Security.

Woman who has only played Necromunda seeing her second setting with big cities and inhospitable wastes between: this smacks of necromunda to me.

Stephen Chow did a Chinese James Bond parody movie, OSS style called “From Beijing with Love”

I'm waiting for the KJB highlights clip where they do the riff about worshiping the engine and god wondering where they parked their planet intercut with Star Trek V "what does God need with a starship?"

The best Chineese take on euro-spy-noir is "Cliff walkers" (2021). A group of four specially trained Chineese agents develop a spy network in Japanesse puppet-state Manchukuo. More akin to "The Third Man" or Smiley series than Bond, but it is still the best "Chineese special agent with fedora and trenchoat has to make bitter decisions" award. Also, the best "turn around and shoot from your hip" moment, because contemporary Bonds cannot do that well. Very stylish, picturesque and sordid, with takes on gender. Serious people in trench coats wander through snowy streets and try to outsmart each other.

Also not a physicist but since Jupiter is a gas giant theres a semi (very marginally, in sci fi land where you can fly the earth around space like a big sopwith camel) plausible scenario for the gravity spike I can imagine where some huge storm ala jupiter's big red spot caused a comically large amount of denser matter (again, gas, so this is really falling apart as I game it out) to concentrate in one spot. Or I dunno maybe the sun dying and the earth wandering destabilized the orbits of jupiter's moons and they all collided to make one giant blob of rocks and stuff? Would it be enough to fully derail a freakin rocket earth going 0.01c or whatever from an interstellar trajectory? I don't fuckin know leave me alone.

My rec/guess for Be Gay Solve Crimes is the Detective Dee series. It’s wuxia Sherlock Homes.

If you want a good Evil White Guy I recommend Snake in Eagle's Shadow. He had one of the Greatest Movie Deaths (tm) of all time, even if the rest of the movie is a sort of feet January retread of Drunken Master (also a great movie, in which Jackie Chan minces a guy to death, lol.) EDIT: As an Australian I like the idea that we are a clown people, because that fits with our national propaganda that we're a bunch of larakins (when really we're 80% cops in spirit) but to make it racial instead of national by having the guy be mixed race doesn't feel good. And then he's also a comedy rapist? I don't care for that for like five different reasons.

This, but still no "From Beijing with Love?" Le oof.

If you were worried, don't be. Yes. They make trucks noises.

Snap on that Mortal Engines quote, Abby! 😎

Two comments: 1. I vote to add this to the KJB Gold Collection 2. Did any other state school folks do a full Pierce Brosnan HUH??? when Abigail told the 'future rulers of the world' anecdote

Wait, if they stopped the Earth spinning, how did Shanghai get covered in sea and freeze? The Earth rotates eastwards, suddenly stopping the Earth would cause the water to keep moving eastwards in this scenario. The sea would move away from Shanghai's coastline, not towards it. Did the filmmakers forget to check which way the Earth spins????

A few nights ago, I was really high, and I remembered that Short Circuit 2 is a heist movie. I don't know that I would actually recommend it, but maybe consider it.

Will you SCUM the Irishman so you can compare it to other Gangster movies in some future Crime Season? I know you've done that with a RomCom or two.

I’m in the Swiss pod having fondue because it’s my fav meal and speak French so they just assumed.

Insane episode to listen to immediately after deciding to change my name to Jupiter…

There is a James Bond parody film directed by Stephen Chow about a Chinese spy called "From Beijing With Love." I think it's only on Daily Motion

88 Faan awarded to Devon for the best joke in the episode, 13 Orphans.

1:18:10 you do know that fondue babybell do exist?

Jupiter: The Tom Felton of planets.

Re: sinocisation jb: hero. Film argues that highest form of badassery is not to kill the tyrant, but submit to a greater project that subsumes your identity and shoots you a lot. Btw it is a governmental system far more likely to give us star fleet than capitalism; Picard and Kirk are Poohists.

Convoy mentionnnnnnnn

Gotta check out Wolf Warrior 2 for Chinese JB!

90s action movie casual racism with Chinese characteristics.

"Chinese New Year. They just call it New Year." Is such a dumb-yet-quality joke, well done 👏

November, the EU is forcing Apple etc to have user replaceable batteries from next year so you won't have to throw your phone away / do the apple repair extortion obstacle course any more. 👍👍 (I know this is the wrong podcast but I'm doing my best).

I think if you want to tie up the dueling car/truck seasons you need to watch a movie that realizes that the car and the truck are actually natural allies and are only being pitted against each other to keep them from working together against their common enemy: cops. That's right, Smokey and the Bandit (1977).

Jupiter tore its ACL

I am listening to this (presumably illegally) in China.

Dark star for space truckers!

Have you considered Hong Kong cinema classic Infernal Affairs (2002) that was remade in America as The Departed? Not Chinese James Bond but still a little bit spies and lots of fun. Definitely should be on the list for crime/mob season

Call me pair of social, but I'm going to take credit for y'all doing Convoy. I know it's a famous movie and I know there's like four other people in these patreon comments suggesting it but I need the ego boost to pretend that it was me and y'all listened to me And will Baby Driver be your first Edgar Wright movie? Excited.

39:00 CLEARLY you haven't seen patlabour

Gotta suck to celebrate lunar new year without the moon

Can't believe Ursula stopped the rotation of the earth just to get that wolf.

Loved that 💚

Oh Nova! You silly person! Waffle House doesn't have chefs, it has cooks.

Ain't going to lie, the idea of you doing Siege of Jadotville is a conflicting one. On the one hand, always down to see the one time (post-independence) the Irish defence forces managed to do something militarily impressive on screen. On the other....well when your own grandfather was over there at that time and part of force trying to break into Jadotville (I inherited a fair few patches and items from him that are either Swedish, Irish, Belgian or Katangan) it's a hard thing to watch. Especially with how poorly those men were treated afterwards as a means of political expediency to cover the arse of a noted bastard.

The euphoric rush of hearing Nova reference Dwarf Fortress while I'm playing Dwarf Fortress

I do like a cool space suit. And judging by the episode art (and some image searching) this movie has some rad space suits. That increases a movie an entire letter grade for me. I should check this out.

33:44 A second Mortal Engines reference has struck the Nova podcasts! (Last one was on No Gods No Mayors)

There are great Chinese modern films. Check out Creation of the Gods : Kingdom of Storms.

Very surprised you met it through the Russian "I'm invincible" bit without a Boris reference.

The reason I would presume for stopping the Earth's rotation is to have your engines thrusting in a constant direction -- otherwise you can only fire them for short bursts of each day, which when doing orbital stuff (when you only want to burn during certain points of the orbit anyway) is going to make it even harder. That said I would think stopping the earth spinning causes you more problems over all

As a half Australian, I can confirm it does cause you to be quirked up.

very excited for baby driver episode

If you guys did Wolf Warrior 2 that'd be a fucken great episode, haha.

Im here on behalf of the Kerbal Space Program to confirm that gravity spikes are not a thing.

I regret to say I think the One World Government/Israeli flag thing miiight be a smidge antisemitic

If I get to choose, I wanna be Mike Tyson in Ip Man 3: An out of his prime foreigner in a lung fu movie whom the movie has to contrive ways to make it an even fight with the protagonist who's in much better shape

I understood uncle/grandpa to be mum's dad, which is why he was a bit miffed when dad said "let's stop your daughter's plot sickness treatment so you can raise my son while I fuck off to space."

CONVOY! Can't wait.

I want you to know that the Sequel/Prequel is better

Can't wait to hear November's terrible takes on Chinese politics.

Wolf Warrior 2 is hot fire. The first one is like a low budget movie of a bunch of cosplayers in the woods and some CGI bullets. The second one is the opposite Moonfall of the star high school running back I used to pronounce "biopic" like that too and I think it makes way more sense Edit: ok she pronounced biopic correctly the second time

I've seen the prequel and I thought it was incredibly good. Y'all should watch it !!!!!!! There are women and ZERO RAPE, yes you heard it right !

The "Super City 3" moment reminded me that there is currently a city in Malaysia called Cyberjaya

This is one of the few films I've ever cried at. I was ill and severely dehydrated at the time and I'm always a sucker for people working together, but I like to think it was the power of Communism flowing through me.

We meet KJB at a very chinese time in their lives