S4E12: The Transporter
Kill James Bond is setting our sights on the Fast and Furious movies, but we need to do a little genre research first.
We need to- NEED to- watch Mr 'acquitted on all charges' himself, Luc Besson's English-language French Statham Vehicle, The Transporter!
-----
Check out our hundreds of bonus episodes for just £5 a month at patreon.com/killjamesbond!
-----
FREE PALESTINE
Hey, Devon here. As you well know I've been working with a few gazan families to raise money for their daily living costs in the genocide. We're putting all our energy into this one campaign as we have a real chance to get Ahmed and his family out of Gaza. Please, if you can help in any way, be that by donating yourself or sharing the link with friends and family, it will mean the world to me.
https://chuffed.org/project/124906-help-ahmed-and-family-evacuate-gaza
-----
WEB DESIGN ALERT
Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here: https://www.tomallen.media/
Kill James Bond is hosted by November Kelly, Abigail Thorn, and Devon. You can find us at https://killjamesbond.com
Comments (92)
The best thing about the transporter is that it was SUPPOSED to be clive owen. Who starred in the wonderful series of (basically the transporter) bmw commercials made just before the film they inspired
I like how Abby delivered the line "I'm fucking a Madeline-seeking missile, let me tell you" because she said it like it was a sexual inuendo but it was just about cakes, and that's my exact aesthetic, lol.
No joke when they mention ex military some person on grinded just message me with the name ex military lol
Genuinely hoping that they do Drive.
You guys should watch the original Taxi movies or Le Boulet. They’re quite problematic by modern standards, but also incredibly ridiculous and a wild ride.
Say what you want about Jason Statham, he knows how to pick a hot wife
The cinema sins Ding was so loud I genuinely thought some alarm had gone off in my car.
Lmao here's a shoe company literally using Jason Statham's height to market their lifted shoes: https://www.chamaripashoes.com/jason-statham-height-elevator-shoes.html?srsltid=AfmBOoqgVO62c5h-oNY5eai5fdyepCRAIBPkLLOp6cSbhKMwyBiPRiEp
Abbie: if you're a man get in touch. Me: I thought I was but I'm having an interesting week 🥚
wonderful episode but actually it's unwatchable because nova said the master was from fallout 2 instead of fallout ❤️
If the movie came out in 2002 it would have been well into production by 9/11/01. So I wouldn't consider this a post 911 movie.
It must be stated that the only reason Leon the Professional is not more pedophilic is because Jon Reno was actively resisting any acting cues that would hint torwards that.
Is Fantastic Mr Fox a heist movie? Extra points for Clooney leading the crew
Irrelevant to the episode, but I forgot Suzy Izzard's name the other day, and because of this deranged podcast the only reference I could google was "imdb cars 2" So...thanks for that
If you do get Milo on for a Statham, can I suggest Killer Elite. It's Statham and a bunch of Australians conspiring to kill SAS guys in the 80's. Robert DeNiro is also there.
The Jason Statham Heist Driver Award for Vehicular Safety
Honestly a thank you to in her boy era Abi for reminding me that sexuality isn't fixed and you can do whatever you want, really.
Finally listened to the episode and have to say, even as the absolute opposite of a car person (a boat person... an ox and cart person?) that I really, really liked this. I might have to retract my worries about the Fast and Furious arc.
I really hope they do Death Race (2008) now.
"you're a short motherfucker and nobody likes you" Tom Cardy reference detected!
Oh my god, an Adventures of Dr. McNinja reference too! Bless you, Devon!
BTW, the Tom Allen link in the description isn't working
“Moderate wokeness of an infinite scale” sounds like a Milan Kundera novel.
jason statham does a really good romcom lead in the meg, which is also shockingly fun and not terrible for the type of movie it is
honestly really loved the meg and I was surprised how actually compelling I found the romance plot! annnd then they had her character die before meg 2
don't forget Bank Job a literal heist movie staring Jason Statham with supporting actors of 1970s cars
32:14 🎵short mothafucka and nobody likes youuu🎵 Is that a Tom Cardy reference I spot? I don't believe it
i heard that dr. mcninja reference.
ANDREI RUBLEV POGGERS
bisexualporter?
The Biporter
Having now watched the dumb good movie, I'm surprised November didn't mention the tracers. Every gun in this movie shoots all kinds of tracers - not just the rifles and the MP5-Ks, but the handguns too. And not just discreet "the shots are missing because they're shooting here, see ?" tracers, I mean full blown Stars Wars "A DISCRETE BEAM OF LIGHT A CENTIMETER ACROSS ZOOMS THROUGH THE SHOT" tracers. It's very conspicuous, and distracting. And, I suppose, comic book-y, yes.
BTW, a shining example of The Tarconi exists in The Good Thief (2002). Also set in southern France. No cars, tho, not really. Casinos and vaults, you know, the yooj.
When I saw the villain of this film I just said "That's the face of a man that would kill John Wick's dog."
Really hoping you cover The Italian Job (2003) with Jason Statham!!!
“You’re allowed to be short but it’s a mark against you” all the trans mascs in the chat crying 😭😭😭
Post Transporter run you should really do a little call back to Espionage season… SPY. Statham being full Statham, and one of McCarthy’s few good films.
Just wanted to say I appreciate Devon adding collections to the Patreon, had a flick through and re-listened to a few classic episodes!
November: "this is SUCH a kink movie!". Me, who saw this movie when it came out and then got into kink: "this explains so much..." 😳
1:10:30 tdick more like Transporter Frank
Is there a cisporter?
1:28:50 i am looking at the director and not saying anything in order to avoid charges
If I ever get trans and get bottom surgery, Im gonna call it my backstory box
Spy made me a Jason Stratham fan. He’s great.
Spy is way better than it has any rights to be, and Statham is amazing in it.
A movie, that more explicitly discusses the homosociality inherent to these movies is the French gangster movie un flic by Jean-Pierre Melville. Warning though, it’s treatment of women (including a trans woman, which is interesting for a 1972 movie) is contemptuous. Unfortunately that is what you probably expect from the guy who has the misogyny monologue in breathless (the famous guy Jean Seberg is interviewing)💀
51:50 comments from Abi that make me blush as a blonde American named Madeleine
Gay Jason Statham be like Diver city hire When they filmed "Crouching tiger, hidden Dragon" Michelle Yeoh didn't speak Mandarin so she learned her lines phonetically Y'all need to watch "Get Smart" which has two mongo kisses, one of them being a gay callback to the straight one previously seen. Fatphobia, facial feminization surgery, fatphobia. Alan arkin. Can't wait for the bi discussion of 2 Fast 2 Furious
As a trans girl with car autism I'm so excited for this and F&F! this season is gonna be goated with the sauce fr fr :P
you should get Victoria Scott on for one!
Just on Luc Besson films, could ‘Fifth Element’ be considered a heist film? The good guys and various bad guys are all looking to heist the stones, all for various reasons. Could be fun
Fifth Element was on Devon’s list of heist season movies coming up.
Taxi (1998) is the comedy rough draft for Transporter and actually a heist movie. It would be worth watching. Especially for non drivers; it’s a buddy cop story about a detective who can’t drive and a genius taxi driver.
In the 2004 version with Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah, the robbers are (literally) Victoria Secret supermodels
This movie made me learn how to bake madeleines. My main takeaway was being more French was cool.
The scene prior to the car exploding - Frank gets 2 pepsis out of the vending machine meaning he has finally made the moral choice to save the cops then boom!
Please. The Orangina Company (now a property of Suntory Group, Japan ; but not then) did not spring for a *second* product placement underlining a positive moral choice for you NOT to remember the correct branding.
It’s kinda shocking that the brief discussion of the film’s screenwriter Luc “Mr. Acquitted On All Counts” Besson didn’t mention The Fifth Element or La Femme Nikita as “things you may know this nonce from”
Idea for an episode: Do Kelly's Heroes, and bring Joe Kassabian on to talk about tank stuff.
the jason statham tweeter you mention at about an hour in is on bluesky now at @jon-snow-420.bsky.social :)
I watched in theaters whatever Transporter movie that is that has the Ukrainian woman with the face full of freckles and the eyeliner/shadow and the bob haircut and I was in love.
That’s 3. I was right there with you…
So looking forward to F&F reviewed by three people who can't drive 🤣🤣🤣 love it.
Also struggling to imagine Abi as a passenger princess 👸. Devon it makes total sense and I presume they're just an excelent road trip DJ. November obviously just rides everywhere in the trunk, no surprises there.
Was really expecting Milo to guest on this one
Abby's description of this movie. Really reminds me of a movie a friend made me watch a few years back. 2006's Lucky number Slevin. It's charming, problematic but way better than a Bruce Willis movie from that era should be.
7 minutes in, already I want to point out that the guy who directed the timothy olyphant hitman movie is french and was besson's protégé. Here we have jokes about how besson movies always contain a hooker, chinese mobsters and a german car, a french movie critic on youtube even said that he got to go to the Lucy set and had like a solid second he managed to stare at the script and the first thing he could read out was "lucy turns back and sees that the Chinese are coming"
OH ALSO: abstruse nerd detail, Bob Odenkirk’s trainer for NOBODY was the star of the MST3K classic FUTURE WAR
The thing is I only ever saw random chunks of this movie and I assumed the titular transporter was played as a tightly wound gay guy
2 fun facts- number one is that Jason Statham did most of the driving and physical stunts and also his character was originally intended to be gay
Oh Devon says that later, serves me right for commenting before they said it lmao
This remains the best Podcast known to humanity. The number of times I shouted "I love y'all" through howling laughter was easily over 20 occasions in this episode.
In the US, Lighthouses that are no longer needed are “decommissioned” by the coast guard and are removed as active aids to navigation—taking them off charts and removing the automation.
This may or may not be my special interest lol
When. THE FUCK. Are you gonna do SNATCH?
still manifesting First Reformed for the religion bonus sub-season
It'll be one of Nova's picks soon. She keeps posting photos of the guy in group chats
Frank thee transporter being trans makes everything make sense
Nova thinking the word "Goated" as a child actually proves she's an Innocence
I think the perfect time for Noveber to talk about their Time Travel Epilepsy would be when and if they ever do The Butterfly Effect. That's basically the premise minus the Tramsgenderism and I believe a bit of homophbia (I think there's a bit where due to Time Travel Shenanigans Ashton Cutcher's turned himself gay, but I might be thinking of a diffrent movie that doesn't involve Time Travel. Not the Brendan Fraiser movie where he makes wishes with a demon and accidentally turned himself gay thanks to one of them (he had previously made himself a Colombian Drug Lord and a Impotent Basketball Star) in a effort to make a woman fall in love with him.)
Great EP! I don't think the S.C.U.M. administration has gone soft at all, it was very well measured given the text's tension with the performances in this case. While the pod is staying in Da Spiritual Zone for the paywalled eps, if you're interested in a sharp turn in mind of spirituality AND one of the most masculinely-influential movies of its time, might I recommend the pod look at 1989's Field of Dreams? It's a movie that is up on a pedestal but doesn't actually have a lot of coherent things to say, and yet still gets all the 25+ lads to tear up without fail every time, for reasons the lads can't seem to parse. Would relish the KJB perspective on this weird one.
I can’t wait to finally experience the F/F series through this lens.
The Master was the villain of the FIRST Fallout game, you philistine! /j 🤭
I have to admit I'm dreading the 'Fast and the Furious' arc. I have no interest whatsoever in those films (even seeing them mocked) and the thought of endless weeks of my favourite podcast covering them is pretty depressing. :(
I didn’t have interest in them and then I worked on the Universal Ride and was getting made fun of for not knowing them and watched them while very sick. I liked them way more than I expected. They get more insane and entertaining as the series goes on. There is a lot of unpack in those, even if they get 50% sillier each movie. I hope you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
When Abby said “fuck you, actually” it really threw me. That’s a speech pattern characteristic to Tucker Carlson
Cool car. Professional transporter. Caught up in kidnapping. Uncomfortably and inappropriately sexualized. So... Riding Bean basically.
Riding Bean minus the jawline and cool jacket
I’m named Frank and listening at work and keep getting Activated by this.
Mark Strong's finest work.
Very excited for this one too, Will you be doing Leon the Proffesional as well in the future? Also I came across this film called Sleuth (1972) starring Micheal Caine and Laurance Olivier that's a murder mystery with very interesting class commentary that I thought the podcast would fine interesting with set designs by Ken Addams.
So stoked to listen to this one! A classic rewatchable b-movie. Complete with dated ethos.