Loot Tavern

Cakewalk! Cakewalk! Cakewalk! This might've been one of the most fun batches we've made EVER, really. The puns in the raviholy got the team laughing for days. And the best part? This whole batch is going to be in the CAKEWALK BOOK! In case you didn't know, Cakewalk will be its own book as part of th

“Don’t put all your sugar cubes in one pouch.” —Popular Y’umm Proverb The origins of this culinary terror can be traced back to the kitchens of the combination wizard tower-restaurant Haute Cuisine, where biomancer and chef extraordinaire Bonnie Goûte spends most of her days blurring the lines betwe

“Don’t put all your sugar cubes in one pouch.” —Popular Y’umm Proverb The origins of this culinary terror can be traced back to the kitchens of the combination wizard tower-restaurant Haute Cuisine, where biomancer and chef extraordinaire Bonnie Goûte spends most of her days blurring the lines betwe

“It cornsiders the field it guards… cornsecrated grounds.” —Cornelius Husk, Uni-corn Chaser Some fabled creatures are associated with a specific time of year—dragons who herald the coming of spring, giant cranes carrying smaller birds on their backs as they migrate to warmer lands, or goatlike monst

“It cornsiders the field it guards… cornsecrated grounds.” —Cornelius Husk, Uni-corn Chaser Some fabled creatures are associated with a specific time of year—dragons who herald the coming of spring, giant cranes carrying smaller birds on their backs as they migrate to warmer lands, or goatlike monst

Back from the break, and starting off with a full batch of original monsters, huh? That's a way to get back to work! This batch was really fun to make, but next batch is going to be even more fun! Expect many puns in the near future! I Should've Expected That... The Great Brute, Demon Lord of Brimst

“The chances of anything coming from the stars are a million to one, he said.” —Oglevee, Sleep-Deprived Astronomer In the vastness of space, in the gaping void betwixt the stars that dot the night sky, envious eyes—far too many of them—witness civilisations rise and fall throughout the ages. Mortals

“The chances of anything coming from the stars are a million to one, he said.” —Oglevee, Sleep-Deprived Astronomer In the vastness of space, in the gaping void betwixt the stars that dot the night sky, envious eyes—far too many of them—witness civilisations rise and fall throughout the ages. Mortals

“Whose bright idea was it to commission one of these for a temple devoted to the Lady of Lies?” —H. Indsight, Obviously Captain Across religions, temples and houses of faith are guarded by sentinels of stone, their forms varying broadly, from lions and warriors to celestials and gargoyles. And when

“Whose bright idea was it to commission one of these for a temple devoted to the Lady of Lies?” —H. Indsight, Obviously Captain Across religions, temples and houses of faith are guarded by sentinels of stone, their forms varying broadly, from lions and warriors to celestials and gargoyles. And when

“We’ve been wandering the Low for days—what’s the worst that can happen if we take a little dip?” —Lutecia, Hot Spring Enthusiast Those who brave the arctic wasteland’s frigid nights must inevitably make a grueling choice: to endure the freezing temperatures without a fire… or to let the flames crac

“We’ve been wandering the Low for days—what’s the worst that can happen if we take a little dip?” —Lutecia, Hot Spring Enthusiast Those who brave the arctic wasteland’s frigid nights must inevitably make a grueling choice: to endure the freezing temperatures without a fire… or to let the flames crac

“Please don’t tell me the only reason you want to contain this freak is so that you can make another steam engine…” —Oe’Sha, Unsurprisingly Chagrined Steering clear of rock clusters is solid advice for any ship, whether crossing an ocean or the Astral Sea. While an asteroid belt might pose a risk to

“Please don’t tell me the only reason you want to contain this freak is so that you can make another steam engine…” —Oe’Sha, Unsurprisingly Chagrined Steering clear of rock clusters is solid advice for any ship, whether crossing an ocean or the Astral Sea. While an asteroid belt might pose a risk to

“I won’t argue whether going anywhere near an Abyssal Gate is a bright idea or not—just make sure you bring an extra pair of socks. You’re guaranteed to get the first pair blown off.” —Harried Houdinky, Bare-Foot Survivor If there’s one thing djinni do better than granting wishes, it’s fighting over

“I won’t argue whether going anywhere near an Abyssal Gate is a bright idea or not—just make sure you bring an extra pair of socks. You’re guaranteed to get the first pair blown off.” —Harried Houdinky, Bare-Foot Survivor If there’s one thing djinni do better than granting wishes, it’s fighting over

“Envoys make for excellent sparring partners—just watch your mouth if you take a hit. They really don’t take kindly to blasphemy.” —Heliana, Irredeemable Sinner The gods work in mysterious ways—mostly. When the occasion calls for a more direct type of divine intervention, they send Elysian envoys; t

“Envoys make for excellent sparring partners—just watch your mouth if you take a hit. They really don’t take kindly to blasphemy.” —Heliana, Irredeemable Sinner The gods work in mysterious ways—mostly. When the occasion calls for a more direct type of divine intervention, they send Elysian envoys; t

Ah, yes... Yet another classic Monster Hunter batch to lift up the spirits. And this one was quite the thrill! From the humble Banbowlbear to the mighty CR 27 (29 in its Hellblade Form!) Glavhor'rnt, we have quite the range of monsters on our hands! Who will come out victorious? As we've mentioned,

"Hey, who stole the flavor text? Heliana! Where is L'Arsene right now!? And why is there a small trinket on the floor?" — Humperdink, the Annoyed. The Ferrogriff's flavour text has been stolen! Come back in a few weeks and we might have it back! If you find any shady looking Rakkin, let us know! Get

"Hey, who stole the flavor text? Heliana! Where is L'Arsene right now!? And why is there a small trinket on the floor?" — Humperdink, the Annoyed. The Ferrogriff's flavour text has been stolen! Come back in a few weeks and we might have it back! If you find any shady looking Rakkin, let us know! Get

“I was so preoccupied with whether I could slap antlers on an owlbear that I didn’t stop to think if I should have… But they’re not my problem anymore!” —Dr. Francis Stein, Irresponsible Biomancer Having heard of a growing demand for “owlbear handlers”, Dr. Francis N. Stein took upon himself to crea

“I was so preoccupied with whether I could slap antlers on an owlbear that I didn’t stop to think if I should have… But they’re not my problem anymore!” —Dr. Francis Stein, Irresponsible Biomancer Having heard of a growing demand for “owlbear handlers”, Dr. Francis N. Stein took upon himself to crea

“The Great Brute? Follow the path of bisected demon corpses, you’ll get there in no time.” —Patch Whey, Abyssal Guide Much like its demonic rivals, Glavhor’rnt goes by many names: the Great Brute, Demon Lord of Brimstone and Steel, the Archduke of War—all self-appointed titles designed to strike fea

“The Great Brute? Follow the path of bisected demon corpses, you’ll get there in no time.” —Patch Whey, Abyssal Guide Much like its demonic rivals, Glavhor’rnt goes by many names: the Great Brute, Demon Lord of Brimstone and Steel, the Archduke of War—all self-appointed titles designed to strike fea

“If you can’t die yourself, how in the hell you gonna kill somebody else?” —Ruh Qalb, Sickening Thanatosphinx When a lesser sphinx unveils a previously unknown secret of the cosmos, it undergoes an extraordinary transformation, ascending to a higher state of being in the form of a chronosphinx*. Bet

“If you can’t die yourself, how in the hell you gonna kill somebody else?” —Ruh Qalb, Sickening Thanatosphinx When a lesser sphinx unveils a previously unknown secret of the cosmos, it undergoes an extraordinary transformation, ascending to a higher state of being in the form of a chronosphinx*. Bet

“WHAT. IS SO CRAZY. ABOUT WANTING YOUR BONES?” —Brendan Bleem Mulling, Bone Collector When competition from xorn and other subterranean rock munchers becomes too much for the common basilisk, it may be driven from its lair and onto the surface, where it must choose between adapting… or starving. The

“WHAT. IS SO CRAZY. ABOUT WANTING YOUR BONES?” —Brendan Bleem Mulling, Bone Collector When competition from xorn and other subterranean rock munchers becomes too much for the common basilisk, it may be driven from its lair and onto the surface, where it must choose between adapting… or starving. The

“Today on mushroom review, we have Amanita rotgut, favourite snack of Bonecrusher! Mulch gives it 0/10 score. Too much poisonous! Gave Mulch tummy ache for two weeks!” —Mulch, Influential Fungi Reviewer Hidden deep within the heart of the Devil’s Grove, the Malachite Fang patiently waits for the arr

“Today on mushroom review, we have Amanita rotgut, favourite snack of Bonecrusher! Mulch gives it 0/10 score. Too much poisonous! Gave Mulch tummy ache for two weeks!” —Mulch, Influential Fungi Reviewer Hidden deep within the heart of the Devil’s Grove, the Malachite Fang patiently waits for the arr

After an incredibly long batch with the Zodiac Dragons, we finally get a new vote. The Zodiac Dragons will all receive CR variants in our most recent Kickstarter, Heliana & Ryoko's Guide to Mythozoology, so we thought there was no reason to make a poll for them. Instead! We have something much more

“The most honourable hài dragon has requested two jiu, a jiu da, a liu with soy sauce, a qi, two sishiwu, one of which with bean curd, and a pitcher of huangjiu. Put it all on a platter to go, just in case.” — Yanwu, Head Chef Few creatures across the planes boast appetites as voracious as those of

“The most honourable hài dragon has requested two jiu, a jiu da, a liu with soy sauce, a qi, two sishiwu, one of which with bean curd, and a pitcher of huangjiu. Put it all on a platter to go, just in case.” — Yanwu, Head Chef Few creatures across the planes boast appetites as voracious as those of

“I’m sorry, sweetie bun. I know you want to keep her here, but she’s a dragon. She’s going to keep growing bigger and bigger. How about we find her a nice home out by auntie’s farm? That way you can still visit her sometimes.” — Li Xiu, Owner of Broken Bedframes and Doors Xū dragons are fiercely loy