Rest days
Rest days are my biggest nemesis. Rest days like today...
Everyone needs to take days off, I do more than often because of my longstanding chronic fatigue. It really sucks when mentally you're in the mood to go do something, but physically your body just won't cooperate. It's frustrating. Even walking from my bedroom to the kitchen can feel like a task on days like today. All the stairs!
I fill days like these with very small pleasures; like what I allow myself to eat, a nice bath, American horror story binge watching etc.
But as I touched upon in the piece I wrote last night; when I have a liberal amount of alone time on my hands, I just get really depressed.
Im good at doing nothing with someone.
That's one of my favourite things actually hehe. But doing nothing alone feels... Lonely.
At least the dogs consolidate me ahaha.
Peaches little gremlin face always makes me laugh. Summer and her extremely loud breathing creates certainly the illusion of company.
I decided to start this open journal blog especially for days like today. So that instead of thinking silently and numbly I can vent.
Ilove making lists. My journals are absolutely full of lists. I find they help stabilise me. Let's write a list to help structure my day..
- Cook from scratch. - Tidy my bedroom/ bathroom. - Have a long bath - Put a wash on. - Open windows. -Light the Diptyque candle to make my room feel delicious. - Outfit plan for tomorrow. - Be kind to myself. - Don't take any pills, instead sit with my feelings... Maybe take a sleeping pill this eve actually ;)
My healing back tattoo is sooooo itchy at the moment, I don't think the humid weather helps either. I find the so called 'pain' of getting a tattoo is the east part, it's the 4-5 days after when it's itchy that's the worst!
Ahaha.
I'm sleeping really restlessly. Sleep doesn't feel peaceful, it feels like a sort of like a battle.
That in part contributes to these unrested feelings I'm sure ahaha.
Yesterdav reminded me of mv time spent in
La. I went to a huge antique centre, a Whole foods, the newly opened Marc Jacobs heaven in Soho and a Miffy pop up shop. I did practically all these things in West Hollywood!
La and London have extremely similar vibes and the same combo of extremely wealthy and extremely poor areas bleeding into eachother. All the different themed boroughs align. West Hollywood is so Soho. Beverly Hills is like Chelsea and Knightsbridge. Sunset boulevard is like Oxford street. In both their expensiveness and cheapness they echo eachother. More similarly than I thought they would. Vast parts of LA felt like lengthened Old Kent Roads in their grittiness. But the biggest difference being the sheer size and vastness of LA, which makes London feel like a dolls house village in comparison. London is a lot more friendly in this respect, feels a lot more do-able. Especially when you don't
drive.
There is a premiere press tour event for the Barbie movie happening in Leicester Square this afternoon. I did think about going. To attend I'd have had to go q up for a wristband
early this morning, only to go home and come back later when it actually starts around 5pm.
I was in two minds about weather I should try and do this today... I've got nothing better to do. The vibes would have certainly been yummy and who doesn't want to see Margot Robbie irl? But I know these sort of events attract super fans and I'm ngl, I really didn't feel like getting up there for 5am to potentially g for hours. To potentially not even get a wristband. It's a shame but it's okay. Hopefully there will be some cute pictures of the event. It won't have been as fun as it looks I'm sure. You're just standing around gawking at celebrities.
This was a total stream of consciousness. But this blog isn't trying to be anything special and some days are going to be more exciting than others. That's life!
I wonder if people miss rubbernecking my old car crash life?