Game Grumps

You stand over the hunk of moldy, gaseous cheese. You look in his eyes. You reflect on your journey as a carrot. You tell David Cheeseman that you’re sorry. For yelling at him, for not treating him right. It wasn't his fault. You were too hasty, scared, alone. A surge of euphoria and enlightenment r

You sit at an open air craft brewpub with your friend and colleague Bingo Nights. You sip from a small glass of a hazy IPA. It’s bitter but not too bitter. Bingo gnaws thoughtfully on a child’s sized Sketchers Light Up shoe. You and Bingo chat. This is a celebration. The game you worked so long and

Nose Ghost is a team player. He does a great job and uses his ghostly powers to possess Big Executive. Big Executive (Nose Ghost’s Version) uses their executive authority to greenlight your video game! Hooray! Three years pass by. Nose Ghost continues to possess Big Executive this entire stretch, so

The suplex worked. The ghost has left Bingo Nights’s dog body. Great work everyone! Now he’s a floating blue wisp in the shape of a large human nose, about 6 inches wide and 6 inches tall. So around your size! In case you forgot, you are a carrot. You ask him if he’d like to join your video game dev

You decide to suplex the ancient ballerina shoe ghost that consumed the mind of your dear friend and canine companion, Bingo Nights. You’ve seen enough WWE Monday Night Raw and a few episodes of WWE Tuesday Morning Cooked to know - this is no small task. So you slide behind Bingo’s dog body, wrap yo

Bingo Nights looks up at you with anticipation. Longing, even. You hold the ballerina’s slipper, pale, off-white, shimmering in the moon-sunlight in your carrot hand. ‘I can have that?’ You nod, and drop it into his snout. He drops it, fiddles with it, and then digs in. You watch as he chews, his he

Imagine this. You’re a carrot who has been separated from his family and you can walk and talk. One day you decided to kill a man in self defense and then you decided to develop a video game with a coding and talking dog in your neighborhood. The dog’s name is Bingo Nights. To learn the dog’s secret

You’ve decided to choose Bingo Nights, the video game developer with lots of experience and a silly name, to help realize your vision of creating your own video game project. You reach out to him on Twitter and chat about various things - the weather where you live, the weather where he lives, the w

You walk up the carpeted staircase in the way that carrots do. There’s a light on in the upper hallway. You walk through a door. There’s a gamer setup with plenty of games on the shelves. The only thing is, they’re all copies of the same game. Strawberry Shortcake Simulator 2027. Of course, you’d he

The mist covers you and you look to your right at the carrot who was calling out to you earlier. “Hey man, hey. Come on! Come on back. Don’t overthink this,” the carrot says, though you’re not quite sure how. “Come back to us. Your family.” So you do. You find you can quite easily slide your little

You take a deep breath. Spores - perhaps poisonous, definitely smelly, invade your throat and lungs and fall all the way into your tummy. You might poo your pants. You scream at the friend-shaped block of moldy cheese, in one bellow. “HELLO! CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME! I AM STUCK AND SCARED AND A LITTLE

You wake up. The world is a blur, and then suddenly still. Very, very still. And dark. There is only the red light of the switch on a surge protector in the entire cavern. You wear a watch. It has a small light, and you press it, and the time is 10:42 pm. You try to think. What is your name? How did