Choose Your Own Adventure - Part 1. $5 Reward.
You wake up. The world is a blur, and then suddenly still. Very, very still. And dark. There is only the red light of the switch on a surge protector in the entire cavern. You wear a watch. It has a small light, and you press it, and the time is 10:42 pm. You try to think. What is your name? How did you get here? When did you last wash your hands? Nothing comes to mind as an answer to any of these questions. Then, you think - a question to which you do know the answer springs to mind. What is your favorite Youtube comedy gaming channel? That’s right, the Game Grumps. With those guys - Danny? Arnold? No, that’s not right. You’ll think of them later. For now, you fumble through the dark - trip over something that scatters across the ground, then finally find the wall.
You press your hand against the wall and keep walking. A light switch - something, somewhere - and then you press it. Nothing happens. Your fingers spindle across the plate, find more light switches, press them all - nothing. What? Finally, more and more switches - and LIGHTS illuminate the room.
The room you’re in is filled with knick knackery. You let it all in. In your life, you don’t remember ever seeing light like this. Your face hurts. The place feels familiar. Red drapes, a hullabaloo of cabinets full of color and horrifying experiments upon them, including a lot of play-doh. A table sits in front of it all.
You know in your heart. Exactly where you are. It’s like waking up on Christmas morning - the feeling that it’s here. What you’ve been waiting for. Except not like that at all, really. You’re on the set of the 10 Minute Power Hour. How did you get here? You think about it, and then try the door. It clicks. Locked. What?!? You turn to investigate, and notice that the lights above are aimed towards the table in the center of the room.
Slowly, you look. Two broken-looking chairs, cracked off their natural axis, sit behind the table. And on top of the table is a sole object. Or a person. You don’t remember what counts as a person these days, anyways. This one doesn’t have hands, but it has a nose, mouth, and eyes. Does this count as a person? He is a color that was once yellow, but has now been stained by the passage of time and the forces of biology. As you draw near, it - he - smells completely putrid. You might throw up. But you don’t. You can’t believe that you didn’t remember this face, as the name springs to mind. Like a revelation - it booms in your subconscious.
DAVID CHEESEMAN.
What will you do next?
Comments (31)
Please don’t lick David Cheeseman, he is currently giving off radiation
Are the Game Grumps trying to abduct us? Because I think the Game Grumps are trying to abduct us.
When this was posted I initially thought 'Oh what a fun idea! Let's play this silly little game! :D ' But now not even a week later I am shaken to my core.... 170 people actually chose to lick David! 170!!!11!! ONE! HUNDRED! SEVENTY!!! What the actual *consensual adult body exploration game*!?! There are too many insane people in this world....
Can you guys play the Fall and Winter seasons in Imagine Party Babyz? That was a really funny Game Grumps VS.! You guys only played spring and summer
If you lick him he may infest your mind, breaking his eternal capture in cheese form and steal your body, while he confines your conciousness to the cheese....im not licking that thing!
I don't see how you can truly hear his secrets unless you lick him, there is no other way
I need to know the secrets the cheeseman keeps. They nourish. They sustain.
Just one lick... Leedle teeny lick
the cheese holds tales i must know
Can we just burn David cheesemen instead for our own safety
He'd go up in a tiny mushroom cloud explosion at this point :-D
no... please... i want nothing to do with that putrid block of cheese. anything but that.
Ahh this gives me memories, what a nice game to play with us
Why do i feel like licking David Cheeseman would be one of those three-line pages in a Choose Your Own Adventure where you immediately see THE END?
TELL ME YOUR SECRETS AAAAA
Considering the smell, can you actually ignore David Cheeseman?
TELL US THE SECRETS OF THE CHEESE, CHEESEMAN
I don't normally interrogate lumps of bacteria, but I think if I were locked in with it, screaming for answers would happen eventually
Well, if it worked out for Ross, might as well give cheeseman a little French kiss.
That cheese is full of secrets. That’s why his stink is so powerful
Nothing makes me as physically ill than the mere reminder the David cheeseman
arguments for licking david cheeseman: 1. could become david cheesemanman 2. may absorb his secrets via osmosis 3. chaos route that is all thank you for your time
I like the idea of a new superhero named David Cheeseman Man
Lick him?! Wtf are you trying to kill yourself?...also i might be insane yelling at an inanimate object but is it though? With all those bacterias doesn't he technically count as living? All my gears are turning
Next course of action after interrogating Mr. Cheeseman? Try picking the lock with various gadgets and tools locked in the room with me.
This is an incredible idea I enjoyed this. Especially yelling at David Cheeseman but despite him telling me his secrets they still mean nothing I’m still locked on the set. Man I knew taking shrooms today was a bad idea someone let me out.
Scream frantically
I yell into the void that is a disgustingly petrified cheese block
If you're Aaron Pearson, are you going to turn into a moldy pear and join David? You can be his companion!
Tell me your secrets, old man, or you're going in the chili.
Always lick David Cheeseman, perhaps his powers can be gained