QUESTIONS FOR Q&A #5 (Post-Bond Victory Lap Edition)

If you could make one insect or other arthropod large enough to have as a pet (roughly the size of a cat) what would you choose?

Favourite Bond game? (It has gotta be Snake Eater right?)

1. How likely is it that there will be a prequel Bond series set in WWII punching Nazis? 2. Do you think Amazon will do a Bond "extended universe" featuring other 00 agents?

Specifically want to ask Abi this, but also open it up to the whole group - are you folks okay? I ask this because (and I haven't listened to the live show yet, so maybe that changes things) nobody's mentioned Hauntology for like LOTS of episodes.

Maybe kind of boring: but are there any other longer movie-series you would now also like to do, like you are currently doing with Jason Bourne?

Have you guys heard about how Tarantino wanted to do an adaptation of Casino Royale with Pierce Brosnan set directly after On Her Majesty's Secret Service? Do you have any thoughts on what this might've been like if it came to fruition?

If you were a James Bond what would be your signature thing that everyone knew you by, and if you were a Bond Villain what would your evil plan be?

What's your favorite Bond theme that's not actually a Bond theme?

If you had to do mushrooms with one James Bond, which one would it be?

Do a small written piece of story for a Bond film that you'd actually enjoy seeing.

Which Bond would be best suited for a Bond-Mitchell-Sharkey Lads on Tour movie.

Devon and Alice now have to write a play. What do you write them about

What are your thoughts on the theory(?) that Lyooootsifer Safin was originally supposed to be a reboot or whatever of Doctor No? He has the Noh mask, the East Asian ancestry, and also remember that Dr. No's Thing(tm) was that his heart was on the opposite side of his body--which would explain why Madeline's bullet didn't kill him in the opening of NTTD! (insert "Bond film names are all the same" joke here about the film name being Doctor No Time to Die)

What does the recent influx of movies like nobody, drive, John Wick, you were never really here, etc. Tell you of modern ideas of masculinity?

Is there a video recording of the liveshow and would you be willing to release it?

Would you ever do Archer?

What were some of the things you enjoyed most about doing a live show that you didn't expect going in to it? For example, was it cool having an audience laugh at the jokes in real time for a change?

If you had to be a bond in any film you watched, which cunt would you pick and why

If you could swap any Bond Villin and/or Henchman from one bond film to another bond film which two films would you swap? How do you think the plot would change in the movie? Would the outcome be any different?

1. Were you guys nervous for the live show? 2. What was everyone's pre-show rituals?

Given James Bond is not only the Same Guy, but also evolves as perceptions of both masculinity and Britishness evolve, what do you think a hypothetical 20-years-from-now Bond would look like?

Weapons of choice, pre Hundred Years’ War.

Alice is Q, what absurd real world technology is she making bond use and what mundane item is she hiding it in?

Devon is a miniboss Henchperson (oddjob jaws etc.) What is their shtick and what is their name?

-Worst ratio of Bond theme to movie? For example View to a Kill or Diamonds are Forever (banger song/subpar movie) -Also what is your favorite rejected or non-canon Bond theme (and why is it Snake Eater?)

Abby gets cast in her favourite bond film as her favourite role, how does she earn that Kaufman Star?

Mainly but not exclusively for Alice: You talk a lot about the Hitman series, are you planning to tackle one of the movies or (if you don't want to answer that) what is your favorite level/accident kill combo?

If you were a bond girl in a film, what would be your name and the plot of the film?

Not so much a question as I asked one already, but would you consider moving into some more action oriented movies such as the Transporter series or the Mission Impossible series? Kill Jason Statham doesn't roll off the tongue as well but he really develops as an actor in the three transporter films

What colour is Estradiol in the UK?

(This one is mainly for Alice) Who would you cast in a live action TV production of John Taliban?

Do you think Daniel Craig’s Bond is possibly the most wasted actor and version of bond in franchise history?

Opinion on Max Otto von Stierlitz (Soviet/Russian James Bond)

Your Favorite Drop from Your Least Favorite Film

Who was the most worthy recipient of the Kronsteen Rosette and who was your favorite recipient

which bond would you most and least like to smoke with ?

Have you ever played the Delphine Software game "James Bond: the stealth affair", or as it is known outside of the US "Operation Stealth". It's a point and click adventure game, but only the US market had the legal rights for it to be a James Bond title. Outside America the game starred a CIA agent "John Glames"

If you were provided all the money needed, and given an infinite amount of time to get it right, what is your screenplay pitch for Mamma Mia 3: Tokyo Drift?

Now that the Craig bond films are over and Amazon have bought the rights, do you think they’re likely to have much success trying to keep the franchise going, and do you think they’ll try to make the bond films more child friendly a la marvel, or lean into the sex and violence and try to make bond even more gritty and realistic (tm)?

Would you consider doing any Bollywood movies? If so could I suggest War (2019) Or for a middle episode: Dhoom 2 (2006)

This is a variation of the "what super power would you have question:" What super power do you think each Bond has? Is Lazenby telekinetic? Can Sean Connery fly?

Will y’all come back to Bond to talk about the new game by the hitman devs? If they were stuck adapting an existing movie which one would you want it to be based on?

You can chaperone one Kronsteen Rosette winner and one Goodnight Cross winner on a dinner date. Which couple hits it off the best? Which is the most entertaining disaster date?

Do there exist shorts so short that not even Devon would wear them?

Oh sick, you got him. Which gun did you use?

Now that you've watched them all, do you still hate roger moore as much, and who is your favorite bond and why isn't it George Lazenby

*the usual caveat that if this has been asked before, I apologise* Not in a super serious way, but are there any ideas/takes from your old episodes that you would like to rethink/revisit/clarify with hindsight (with the proviso that your eps were great from the start and you’ve made the learning curve look pretty seamless, but I know that your view of Bond has evolved as the series has progressed)

Daniel Craig played a role as a Stormtrooper in “The Force Awakens”. Which other Bond actors (Bond or Villains) should feature in Star Wars?

How many young children do you think you could beat up in wave based combat before they overwhelm you?

wait, ignore my last one. Best Bond car to get all "pimp my ride"-ed?

Can you talk a bit the theme music? It really rocks. Is it available for download?

I have a second, more pointless to the podcast question. Alice, what lipstick were you wearing at the live show? It looked stunning

What does Thomas the Tank engine have to say about Masculinity?

Any plans to do the Kingsman series? Seems to have a lot of KJB’s favourite themes - british jerking off, royals jerking off, upper class jerking off....

Which of the Disco Elysium skills does each bond maxx?

If you could redo any part of the whole KJB experience again, what would it be and would you change it?

Fuck, marry, kill, kill, kill, kill for each of our bondy lads

which bond has the most tboy swag

If you could make a Rocky Horror Picture Show shadow cast from the various Bond Actors and their villains who would play which part (you cannot use Charles Gray as The Criminologist)?

Are there any plans to cover the Daniel Craig Repeatedly Tries an American Accent and Fails with Variably Hilarious Results trilogy? Namely Tomb Raider, Logan Lucky, and Knives Out? I can only imagine…

Without adding any new scenes, which Bond film could be improved the most by just cutting parts of the film out? Any amount.

Are you going to branch out into Tv or anime series, an analysis of what Baki the Grappler has to say about masculinity for example?

In response to the newest anime boom, the James Bond franchise decides to license an official James Bond shonen series. From intro to the tournament arc, how well does the franchise translate?

Fuck, Marry, Kill: Your own spy personas as seen on the poster?

How would you have killed Bond if you had the chance? Personally, I would have just shot him with a gun but I'm curious if any of you have something more creative.

Would you be willing to do The Scarlet Pimpernel with Anthony Andrews, A SHOCKINGLY young Ian McKellan, and the radiant Jane Seymour? I feel like the Pimpernel is the first superspy, and the book was written by a woman…I think you’d have interesting perspectives

For all three of you: if you were cast as an opponent to Bond, what would your signature weapon be?

I know you guys said no more Sean Connery, but could you *pleeeease* reconsider this and do Entrapment?

If Bond didn't exist, which film series would sad dads everywhere base their tastes/personalities on?

Also was abi doing maths in her head on stage or using a calculator

What is your Hnch advert? (e.g. "Join a new and exciting Villain on a small tropical island, full dental, experience with sharks a bonus")

You guys seem to reference Disco Elysium a lot, what is it that you like about that game? And what are you currently playing?

Which of the three of you has had the spray bottle turned on you the most? This is for science.

What is your favorite drop?

If you had to live within the time, setting, and problems of a Bond movie, which would you choose and why? (Answer with complete sentences and supporting evidence.)

For Devon: if James Bond made an Elden Ring character, what type of build would he use? And which weapon would you use against him in PvP?

Are there any qs that you want to answer but have never been asked on one of these? If so please ask and answer

If some other acerbic witted all-trans podcast had done a series on James Bond already what would have been another franchise you could have done a deep dive into?

You need to pitch the next gadget for Q branch: what is it? and what is it disguised as?

When you're doing AMAB, would you consider doing movies about femininity, at least for some of the bonus episodes? (assuming the current weekly alternating system remains) ie in the sense of social expectations on people-viewed-as-women rather than idk makeup or nails or whatever aesthetic considerations. Could include Legally Blonde, But I'm a Cheerleader, some Jane Austen adaptions, any number of actually good movies under this remit

You can turn one (1) character from the bond canon roger-rabbit-style into a 2D animated cartoon acting across humans who will it be and why?

with all the films in consideration, which character (especially villains) had the best fits?

Next Halloween please can you do Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters it has gadgets and incest

Would you be interested in a protacted Brendan Fraser film arc? Wherein you measure the GIRTH of George of The Jungle and that mountie movie.

Would you want to watch Paddington 2 as the guy who plays Q is the voice actor

Cast and plot outline for a Cars Franchise spinoff called "Technicals"

I know that you’re busy with the Bourne series, but Now that you have Killed James Bond, can you please kill Crocodile Dundee? Maybe you can make up a SWAMP system? Alice does a good Aussie accent which tells me there could be some catharsis in roasting this piece of shit.

James Bond: The Musical. Who's in the cast? What do the musical numbers look like? How's the chorography? Jukebox or original music? Is it an adaptation of one of the films/books, or should it have a unique plot? And how much to get you lot to write it and pitch it to Broadway?

You're Blofeld and building Spectre from the ground up. You can have any henchman or henchwoman from the series: who are your top 3 agents to kill Bond?

How do we get out of this new thing where people like Phoebe Waller-Bridge get hired to work on huge studio movies that end up sucking anyway? Or are we just gonna get progressively more indie artists working on consistently shit Bonds?

2 questions: Who of the "List of actors considered for James Bond" are you most happy to have dodged that bullet, and who among them would you have wanted to see in the role (either out of curiosity or to curse them). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_actors_considered_for_the_James_Bond_character Fuck/Marry/Kill/Adopt/Be-adopted-by: Churchill, Thatcher, Tony Blair, Theresa May, Boris Johnson?

Are there any films you know you WON'T be covering for Season 2 that you want to announce so that people won't ask for them (like you did for Austin Powers)?

Of all the Bond Villains, which one was the most Based / Was Correct in Doing Their Plan (including all the weird shit the writers made them do to show that they were evil)?

It might of been done but fuck marry kill the three 60s Blofelds

We've pretty much spent a year listening to you fine & noble people sacrificing your sanity for our entertainment - now that we've finished the Bond arc, have you enjoyed the process?

If you put all of the various bond villain (and Treadstone) henchmen in an arena and had them all fight to the death, who would be the last person standing and why would it be Dr. Kaufmann?

You have previously held that the Bond franchise has nothing that can really allow it to get better or even interesting, that it's sort of defined by its worst traits. Therefore, what aspects of non-bond movies you've reviewed, such as Ronin, The Man from Hong Kong, Bourne Identity and of course Planes: Fire and Rescue offer a way forward to a good and entirely new spy series that would rise from the ashes of Bonds corpse?

Can we get a bonus episode which is just every drop on Alice’s soundboard played in order?

Is it possible for the eurospy/ bond-like genre to be subverted? That is, could you make a version of bond as naked agent of empire where he is unequivocally the villain?

How long do you think the lag time will be until JB starts fighting Russians again?

Do you think Lazenby would have shaped a different, less awful version of Bond if he’d continued in the role (and got better at acting)?

What was the best hog outfit for the liveshow?

1) Would there be a chance of an episode dedicated to Bond merch, and what it says about the people who market it? 2) What's your pitch for a 006 movie, using his motivation from the GoldenEye game remake?

James Bond Junior. Yes, that's the whole question.

How (if at all) has the process of reviewing these films changed you?

What episode did Kill Jame Bonds truly become Kill Jame Bonds in

What future possible Bond actor and/or director fills you with the most dread?

You can drop Doctor Kaufman into any scene from any movie, Bond or not, what film and what scene?

If you did have to cast your ideal Bond, who would it be and you can't kill yourselves?

The original run of The Flintstones ended with the series trying to crib the eurospy genre in The Man Called Flintstone animated movie. Which real-life Bond actor would you cast in the role of Fred Flintstone!Bond and why?

You have one dose of truth serum, valid for only one question. Which of your co-hosts do you feed it to, and what question do you ask?

Which Bond is your "I can fix him" Bond, and which is your "I can make him worse" Bond?

If each of you was given the option to direct a dramatic storytelling of your own lives, but only if it was done through the established cinematic universe of one of the films (inc patreon) covered in your podcast, which would you choose?

You can design your own evil secret headquarters. Where is it located, what is it like, and how much does it cost?

Alice, what is your favorite drop, and what was your favorite usage of a drop in an episode?

If Chris Pratt were to be cast as James Bond, do you think he'd do it in his own voice or keep the Welsh accent?

What would be the worst animal to be hunted and eaten by? I vote either ants or starfish provided they were large enough to hunt you like their regular prey.

is the funniest/best/your favourite reason for MI6 only sending bond despite their threats to send 008 that 1) their good agents are doing the serious shit and this is clown hijinks that is lower stakes (but keeps ballooning because bond can fuck even this up) and they're doing a sort of "prince harry being in the army" thing where they have to keep sending him on missions because he has important family no matter how shit he is or 2) he really is the best the others are Even Worse or 3) another theory of your invention?

If you could do a podcast about any other decades old media property that somehow is still sticking around, and what it says about society, what would it be?

You can convert one Bond movie into a Cars movie, which one, and what notable characters become what kind of vehicles?

Which movie do you think portrays actual espionage the best? For me, it's Colombiana (2011); the amount of meticulous planning showed in that film is staggering

You can add a scene with Dr. Kaufmann into any other movie in the franchise. Which movie do you put him in, and at what point in it?

If you could swap two Bonds in-universe, for example, have Craig Fingersucc in all of the Little Birthday Boy's films and vice versa, which two would you swap and why?

You're film scouts for an alien equivalent of James Bond (aliens have dads who want watches too), and they've chosen Earth to be the next exotic locale alien Bond nonces through. What exotic Earth locations do you film at?

What lessons could other action films learn from the failings of bond?

I subscribed to the patreon solely for the Spy Kids episode, a decision I will not be unpacking. In honor of my life choices, if Alice and Abigail were smashed together like a creature on the island of lost trans girls who are also assassins, what would they called and what would they look like? Follow up, would they love Steve Buscemi as a father or murder him for creating them? Follow up follow up, what god would they worship?

I’ve seen Devon talking about palaeontology on Twitter recently and it made me want answers to the most important of questions- what are the hosts favourite dinosaurs?

What animal encapsulates each bond? I feel like Connery gives off mallard energy

best bond car to go to the supermarket in?

You are directing the next bond movie, do you stay modern or do you go back to a cold war bond or even further to a sixties bond?

At this point it's a given that action movied have questionable politics, especially when it comes to race and gender. Can you think of any action movies that have genuinely good politics?

What is Jackie Chan's best movie and why is it Rumble in the Bronx? I would say Shanghai Noon but my wife's deep hatred of Owen Wilson makes it so that movie is forbidden in my home. Or In all the Bond films what slash pairing is the most shippable in your esteemed opinions? I'm a Goldeneye Bond/Trevelyan enby but I might be alone there. If I was looking for total crackfic I'd go Bond/Wade but I'm not that kind of sicko.

Who do you think hates James Bond more, Lazenby or Craig? And as afollow up question do you three think you hate Bond more than Lazenby or Craig?

Which bond-i-verse character do you relate to the most? I.e. EMP the London economy like Janus, or like that bond girl, you can't read. Personally I feel like old Q, as in everything I make someone breaks and I'm surrounded by silly comic relief characters who keep hurting themselves in ways that amuse me. P.s. name's Jackernaut on the ''scord pls don't dox full name

Are you gonna review the 1967 TV series The Prisoner? It features a British agent who resigns at the very start of the series and who gets assigned "Number Six". The lead actor turned down the role of James Bond twice, on moral grounds. I think it would make for a really interesting contrast to the James Bond movies.

If given the opportunity to Kill James Bond with a gun, what gun do you use?

Are there any spy or action movies you’ve watched outside of the podcast that you’ve enjoyed and recommend? Also just wanted to put it out there: The Raid: Redemption

As we have heard, the Bond series didn't discover themes until the 1990s, but if you needed to find one, what would be the closest thing to a theme of all of James Bond?

If Bond is reincarnated, as what person, animal, thing or abstract concept should it be?

Franchises and reboots are a minor plague, and you said before James Bond can’t be updated without losing what it is. But if you HAD to reboot the franchise or make a spinoff in a way that makes a “good” movie, how would you do it?

What questions are you surprised you haven’t been asked so far?

What questions would you like to be asked?

Would it be in the realm of possibility for the KJB podcast to review all 3 Austin Powers movies??

We all know that you refuse to go entiiirely japanaaaiiise, but what % japanaise would you be prepared to go?

Who is your favorite above and beyond hench person?

Which Bond actor has had the best career outside Bond? Have any of them escaped their most notable role being a former Bond? (See also Doctors Who)

the three of you get full creative control over Bond 26, on one condition. It has to be a full-on horror film. what's the story, what's the style and who does the theme? Thanks for everything! 😊

Should the fucker stay dead or is there a place for Bond going forward?

if y’all could fuck with time travel and make it so that one bond theme singer sang a different bond theme (ie adele singing diamonds are forever and so on) who would sing what?

Part of the pitch of KJB was investigating a symbol of British masculinity. What film/tv series would you watch as an exploration of British femininity? Also; The Prisoner spin-off podcast when?

Can any of the versions of James Bond be rehabilitated? If not which James Bond is the least problematic?

Looking back at the early episodes, is there anything you got wrong that you would like to revisit?

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?

In 2015, Miramax released Mr Holmes, an oddly charming movie in which Ian McKellen plays a senescing Sherlock Holmes revisiting his past to solve one final case before his mind deteriorates. If the Bond franchise got a similar treatment, which Bond would be the most interesting to revisit in their twilight years, and which (if any) unresolved plot thread would be the most fun to revisit?

1) what would your Only Connect team name be? (and it can't be Kill James Bond) 2) is Ranma of Ranma 1/2 a trans icon? why or why not?

Favorite villain to go out and have a drink with?

who is one guest y’all would love to have on, but could never get? alternatively: what is one movie you want to cover but never will?

Do you have any general philosophical conclusions about James Bond? If so what are they?

If you were forced to remake one of these movies while keeping most of the plot the same which would it be? Think only getting one or two big sttoy changes and a script you can mostly control.

Best/worst fit of the Craig era?

Which was the worst facial disfigurement of a villain?

A) What has been your favourite drop you've isolated from the entirety of Bond? B) you can summon an alternate universe Bond series where Bond(may not even be called Bond) is of any nationality over than cursed bri'ish, what nationality do you choose?

If you were blessed/cursed to be the next Bond Villain, how would you use the knowledge you accrued over this podcast to succeed in your Nefarious Plan?

Since Daniel Craig cameo'd in The Force Awakens, which previous Bond actor would have made the worst/best/funniest/most interesting cameo in a previous Star Wars movie? If you could inject Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, or Brosnan into one of the first six Star Wars movies, how would you do so for maximum comedic effect?

1. Watch Dogs Legion bonusode when 2. Y'all hear about cum?

what part of your perception of bond/the bond films has changed the most comparing pre-podcast and now?

As someone who has listened to every episode of this podcast and never seen a James Bond movie, is there any that I should watch even just for the riffing? What is different about James Bond in his actual films compared to the pop cultural idea of him?

Do you plan on doing any more video game bonus episodes in season 2, given how many games have something to say about masculinity whether intentional or not?

highly intellectual question: fuck marry kill for the lesbians (textual or not) of the bond films

How do you think the other Bonds would react to the news that they have a child?

Of all the many versions of that “same guy,” which Bond would you most like to watch die horribly and how?

What was the thing that surprised you most about the James Bond films as a collective experience?

Which bond villains and/or henchpeople could devon beat in a fight?

I didn't mean post-coital