QUESTIONS FOR Q&A 4

Favorite specific Bond Noise?

Yo, favorite New Vegas companion?

How did you all come to find Fallout New Vegas? What are your thoughts on the other games in the series?

When will the KJB/ WTYP crossover happen?

Alice, could you please use the spy kids 3d Stallone drops on TF?

Which movies would you most want to see bond-swapped e.g. Moore in Casino Royale or Craig in Moonraker?

What is your favourite drop from the series so far?

In your opinions, which Bond (and which Bond villain) would make the best body pillow/dakimakura?

Do you guys think Twitter is hindering Leftism or is it at least a platform from which real meaningful discourse can be started?

What software does Alice use for the drops? And would you ever consider releasing a google drive folder or something with all of those drops?

If you could cast any of the parody bonds into any bond movie, who would it be and what movie and why is it Mike Myers in Octopussy

If you could add another category to the SCUM system, what would it be? My idea is ableism

What's the best movie you know, that the other hosts are going to hate the second you utter it back into their minds

Do you have any films (or other media if not films) that you consider a guilty pleasure? For example something that you enjoy, but recognize to be objectively bad and/or might be embarrassed to suggest to someone else. What is it that you like about it?

What do you think of the idea of Bond being another race/gender? Do you think it has an ideological and social impact? and if so how?

If you could have any character from a Bond film as a podcast guest, who would it be and what obscure film sequel would you make them watch?

How knows the most useless piece of trivia?

you are tasked with giving bond his newest, wackiest gadget, but it must be something real, like a boston dynamics dog or something, what is it?

Cast a bond movie, but you can only use current uk politicians. What do you think of the tv showHomeland as a successor to the Bond franchise? Is the Claire Danes the first female bond and if so what does this say about the gender thesis of KJB?

If you had access to the Neuralyzer Riley makes you use at the end of every Trashfuture episode, which Bond movie would you totally delete from your memory?

Do you think Tracey Bond and Mara Jade Skywalker are living together with a couple of cats and half a dozen LELO toys on a nice cloud somewhere in Retconned Wives Heaven or should I keep that to myself/fanfiction?

We know that this podcast is an exploration of masculinity through the lens of the fictional character James Bond. Are there other characters you would like to use for exploring other topics?

All the Bonds walk into a concrete bunker and find one chair with a hole cut in the seat, a few small ropes and one big rope. Who's getting out alive?

Favorite spy novels? Ever read any Graham Greene?

How would the James Bond movies handle a ripped-from-the-headlines Havana Syndrome plot?

If you lived in a real life bond universe, who would you be? Also, do you think in that universe Bond is the only agent who acts that way or does the 6 o’clock news contain a spy segment?

What's the most unbelievable real life spy story you know of?

In addition to the perfect female Bond - who would be the perfect Bond boy?

Who would be the perfect female Bond?

Would you consider doing a straight-up crossover with another pod, like trashfuture or wtyp? Maybe talk about real spy shit that failed catastrophically. Or a John LeCarre movie.

If all the Bonds were playing poker, who would have the most obvious tell? Best Poker Face?

Has Bond ever paid taxes?

What movie with Danial Craig movie connects to the bond-verse as his "after james bond" Knives out is the popular but obvious choice, but i think Logan Lucky is the funnier option.

Which of you would be most effective and/or responsible with an actual License to Kill? (For legal reasons, you do not have to elaborate on who you would kill once you obtain said license)

What are your favourite anime ops?

What is the method of capital punishment that would suit each Bond (who is the same guy)

If the James Bond actors were replaced by Muppets who would play who?

What is the best House Robot and Thunderbirds vehicle?

Actually I wish to adjust my question: My new question is sharks. Why are they awesome? What is the most awesome shark? Who in popular culture would you like to introduce to a shark? Sharks!

Best Bond villain pet and why is it sharks?

You are able to swap an anime villain and a Bond villain 1-for-1 into their respective franchises. Which pairing do you choose for maximum entertainment/chaos?

Would it be better for morale if we abolished the UK monarchy or were ruled by a Bond villain? Which is the largest member of the Royal Family that you could defeat in a fight?

You have a sniper rifle trained on Bond, BUT it is specifically Lazenby Bond on a walk with Tracy. Do you take the shot?

Apologies if something similar has been asked before (but I doubt it). Considering that several Bond actors have also modelled earlier in their career (*ahem* Roger Moore knitwear model), what would an au look like in which they are all rival models during fashion week (would they actually get to the runway, or would they be too busy trying to assassinate each other).

Is wild wild west a bond film and if not what would be (or is) a good steampunk bond?

What historical figure would have the best Twitter account, and who would be the most annoying poster?

This is a question for all the hosts, but especially Alice: Geoffrey Boothroyd, a sort of early poster, famously wrote to Ian Fleming recommending 007 carry a Walther PPK instead of a Beretta 418, referring to the latter as "a lady's gun." What weapon would you give James Bond today to replace the aging PPK?

If each of you were a famous historical figure, who would you be and what you do differently to them?

What war crime do you think Carmen from Spy Kids would be tried for?

Say you were given the opportunity to remake any Bond movie you wanted, but it had to take place within an existing sci-fi and/or fantasy franchise. With that limitation in mind, what would you create?

Can you teach us Americans how to make a good cup of tea?

Okay we gotta do it again: F/M/K Dalton/Craig/Brosnan? Also maybe a winner’s bracket edition between them and the old ones.

Why, in the Bond movies, don’t any of the characters ever lie? I mean, there are fake IDs, cosmetic surgeries, etc, but every character always tells the truth, even the mastermind villains. Curious to hear the ladies’ thoughts.

which bond film would make for the best Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead style parallel story?

TRANS ASS QUESTION: which Bond has the most FTM energy and closeted-af-MTF energy, respectively?

You’re Bond’s bastard kid and he’s reached out on Facebook after 35 years offering to give you what I strongly suspect is a fake Cartier to make up for lost time and wants you to meet his new girlfriend & tiny rat of a dog. How do you fuck him up?

Shit, only 4 bond films left! What do we, your real-life friends, need to do to convince you to stay on and watch bizarre animated movies with increasingly tenuous spy themes forever? PS: as a scot, fuck women wont wheesht. Every day someone (possibly Joanna Cherry) stickers our local area and we have to go out on a scavenger hunt where the prize is bad puns and transphobia :(

If James Bond wasn't a narc what do you think he'd do for a living?

Since the episode will be released one day before the 26th, can you say "fuck Australia Day". It always was, and always will be, Aboriginal land. [Australia Day is the anniversary of the first invasion fleet reaching Sydney Cove (not landing on Australia, that happened a few days earlier). For obvious reasons a lot of people think this is not something to be celebrated. 234 years of genocide, white supremacism, English people living here, et cetera...] From a Romani living in the territory known as Australia. P.S. fuck the Tories for taking away our traditional camping sites in the UK.

So we know what M and Q do at MI6; what do you think some of the other letters are up to? Personally I think R is probably head of catering.

Not really a Q&A question, but have you given any consideration to an ep on “lesbian spy thriller”, D.E.B.S.? https://www.instagram.com/tv/CYfzkzRD9Xk/?utm_medium=copy_link

You're sending me mixed messages here... I'm confused... Do you, like, WANT me to form a parasocial relationship with you, or not?

We know which Bonds eats pussy, but which ones eat ass?

Is there room for a modern spy movie to use gadgets well without getting into parody territory?

ALSO if you had to get a tattoo of a woodland creature doing an action movie stunt, what would it look like and where upon your person would you put it?

How much would each of you have to be paid (or how much would you be willing to pay) to be the next actor to play James Bond. As Bond, what noises would you make? How would you open doors? What would your signature move be? What songs would make up the library of your opening credit sequences? Where would you chomp on your sexual partners?

If any prior Bond movie were remade nowadays with a deliberate, Disney live-action remake-esque attempt at addressing the problematic elements of the original, which one do you think Eon would do and how would they fuck it up?

I'm a tall blonde American transwoman. I'm very early in transition and it terrifies me. How was it to step away from the privilege of presented masculinity, and what surprised you as you became yourself ?

If you had no budget constraints and guaranteed demand for a piece of merch, what would each of you want to do for that?

If you had to pick out urns for each other's ashes, what would they look like?

One bond is going to protect you, the rest come to kill you. Who are you picking?

Without giving away your actual plans, what are the best/worst ideas for continuing the podcast once you finish the Bond movies?

If your keyboard was a sentient being, what cutting remarks would it use at family dinners to passive-aggressively cut you to the bone?

Based on a recent Twitter thread from Alice- which terrible gun would you associate with each Bond?

The Bond franchise is, politically, pretty dang bad. What do you think is the worst franchise, though, and are there any relatively good ones? The Kingsmen series, I must say, is so bad it makes Bond look like leftist propaganda in comparison.

What is your favorite scent?

suppose in order to tank the bond franchise for good that you were in charge of casting the next bond. who would you cast that you think a: you could reasonably be allowed to get by the studio (so no "my cousin who can't act" answers) and b: would do bond so poorly (for however you'd like to interpret "poorly") that your bond actor is the last bond actor?

Xenia Onatopp vs. Fatima Blush: Go. (Sorry Devon, feel free to go get a drink or something and come back)

what is the plan for when you guys eventually run out of bond films ? I heard murmurs of a season 2 on twitter but what would a post-Bond KJB look like?

now that the craig era is over, who are your picks to play the next bond ? personally mine is shahrukh khan but only if they make him gay. otherwise cate blanchett

when are you guys gonna do austin powers Please ...

yall already knew this was coming ......... fuck marry kill. craig/brosnan/dalton GO

Given how the UK press is having a fit over the "woke Trans non white bond" that almost certainly isn't coming, what luxury goods would such a hypothetical movie try to sell to your dad?

Through some strange and mysterious Act of God's Love you've somehow ended up as the directors, producers, and general art-tyrants of upcoming Broadway spectacle James Bond: The Musical. What are some of the big musical numbers you impose on the hapless public?

Which of the bonus episode films would make for the best Sheriff J.W. Pepper cameo?

Since you're releasing this episode on St Dwynwen's day - any last minute dating tips for Welsh listeners and/or Timothy Dalton?

Who is the American James Bond?

Would you rather fight one normal-sized James Bond, or 10 one-foot tall James Bonds? Would your answer vary based on which Bond is fought?

On the topic of speaking to animals, Would you rather be able to hear the thoughts of every animal you see, eventuating in a maddening cacophony of noise, or speak to your pets only to discover they hold extremely racist views?

Through a terrible accident of seamless editing or time travel, Craig Bond is now the protag of On Her Majesty's Secret Service, and Lazenby Bond the protag of Casino Royale (2006). How do the films change?

Shag Marry Kill: Dalton, Brosnan, Craig

You joked in the original Casino Royale episode that it was like KJB! The Movie at some parts. And that got me thinking: What would be y'all's pitch for such a film?

All of the Bonds run for head of the Tory Party WHO WINS. Bonus which villein wins for Labour

For Alice: favorite military cavalry action? Any era.

Which Bond movie would be best if you remade it as a horror film?

If you could choose any country to live in only based on environment and climate (so no legal/political/infrastructure concerns), what would it be?

Do you think a Red Son take on James Bond could ever work?

Congratulations, you have gotten a shitty superpower, you can perfectly imitate the sounds of 1 animal, what animal is it and what do you do with this power?

What’s a good analog watch for less than a hundred bucks? Or pounds or whatever

Do any of you currently have pets? Did you have pets in the past? Tell us about your pets

You are the God of Earth 2, what arbitrary social construct do you add?

How do I convince my wife to continue watching the Bond movies after the Brosnan era?

Which villain’s lair do you reckon you could make into a genuinely pleasant living space?

What real car that hasn't been a bond car yet deserves be one? My pick for a "Best of British" bond car is the jensen interceptor. Low-slung and purposeful, but with a quiet menace all the same. Might be more of an alice question tho

Two parter! A:/ you contract a virus that is as contagious as covid, with no cure (yet) and makes you just as miserable and sick, however, a side effect is that you are immortal. Immortal, but constantly sick. As is everyone that contracts the virus. What do? B:/ five years later, hooray! Bill Gates makes a Vaccine. The world is saved! This is also a cure for those who are already sick. However, a side effect of the *cure* is your life expectancy is less than ten years. Do you take it? What are your other considerations beside the immediate ones? Stay fruity. Love yers.

Will you ever do The Fifth Element? It has espionage!

EON will make a new standalone Bond movie where bond is dropped into a verry non bond scenario/universe (Lovecraftian Horror, Hallmark Christmas, First Contact) and you, having proven yourself true Bond scholars, get to pick the scenario. What scenario do you think would end up producing the most interesting movie?

1) What would you say to a pengwing who could understand English? How many pengwing could you take in a fight? 2) What word is your "pengwing" that you hate saying on mic? 3) If you went on a revenge rampage, what gross thing would you fill your pockets with instead of maggots?

Jameses Bondses are now gym leaders. What type do they use, and what order do you face them in? Bonus round: who are the Elite 4 of PokéBond?

If you had to choose one historical figure to fight, and you had to lose, who would you pick?

Congratulations! You have been selected to invent the newest coolest gender. Tell us about it.

Alice's knowledge of history and trivia is seriously impressive. How did you end up with such a deep well of facts?

If you had to have a first fight with one real life bond villain (billionaire) who would it be. Or even better which billionaires would you like to see fight blowfeld Vs Rupert Murdoch would be funny in my opinion.

SCUM system ranking and Goodnight Cross and Kronstein Rosette for Cars 2 and Spy Kids 2.

Say the producers continue the Bond franchise with Lashana Lynch or another non-straight-cis-white-male actor as a reinvented version of the character. Do you think that would give them anywhere new to go, creatively, or is the concept of a British secret agent action hero just too played out and irrelevant in today's world?

What could James Bond sell your Dad? Specifically, what object or experience that fits one or more of the Bond millieus thus far discussed could the Bond franchise influence your actual father's brand purchase opinions on?

Sometimes you joke about clocking characters. So out of all the characters you've seen, who do you think is the most trans? Not including the actual transwoman.

Favourite Bond Girl so far and why is it Fujiko Mine?

if you could pick any bond or bond villain and make them transition, who would you pick?

Do you all have any plans to continue once you run out of actual bond films? I'd love if you moved onto another franchise or something similar! Also Austin powers bonus episode when

When you hit the last released Bond flick, are there plans to expand into Action Flick movies or is the plan to lay low until another Bond/Bond-Adjacent flick comes out? Also, WHAR PUMA MAN EXTRA EPISODE?

If Timothy Dalton became bond earlier (say on For your eyes only) what are the later Moore films like?

assuming you have daddy long legs spiders in the UK, do/would u let them live in your room?

If somebody arranged a custom Bond Theme for KJB who would you want to sing it?

Who’s your favourite ninja turtle?

1) Any chance of getting merch for the Hench app from some early episodes, or "Vote Zardoz" merch? 2) Not a question, but I would like to nominate Logan Lucky as a bonus episode since it stars Daniel Craig as a guy who names his explosives after himself 3) Would it be possible to stitch together a mostly coherent James Bond plot by using audio drops from previous episodes?

Which film you've watched for the podcast would inflict the most suffering if used as a method of torture?

Does Charles Grey's Henderson get a retroactive Kaufman Star? Aside from that, any other characters from previous reviews that you feel deserve this most prestigious award

After listening to your Die Another Day episode I was fixated on the idea of Q getting fired because of his Bond boyfriend simulator. When I told a friend about this he said bc Q doesn't appear in Casino Royale it's possible during Bond's story there's a HR disaster happening in London. My question is who are H and R?

What kind of bribes, and of what quantity, would it take for you all to consider reviewing an Austin Powers film? Will the bribes be akin to what a Bond villain asks for, or would the payoff be more earthbound in nature?

I’m truly sorry for the Pengwings!

If you were placed in a Bond film with the goal of winning the Kronsteen Rosette, how would you go about it?

What are you plans for when you FINALLY finish these off with the Craig movies, tossing Jame Bonds into the void forever?

What genre of music do you think each of the Bonds would listen to?

If you had to redesign horses, what would you do differently?

Of the children's bond-adjacent movies you've watched for this, which one have you enjoyed most?

Have you guys heard of the Michael Caine spy film The Billion Dollar brain? I think it would make for a good episode

Devon - do you have any choice shots of Val Kilmer you could share? Asking for a friend (the friend is my penis)

What would your golden gun-like weapon be, and what would it be made up of?

Scenario: you get to have (reciprocally consensual) sex with any Bond girl (who will be the age she was in the movie during the sex) if you agree to get dicked down by one of the Bonds. Which Bond do you pick and why? Follow up: obviously please tell us which Bond girl - or other gendered hero or villain - you'd be doing this for.

Which of you would make the best henchperson and why?

So we all know that Octopus (octopus’s, octopi, octopoda, take your pick) are going to take over the world as soon as they master flight. My question is, what would our octopus overlords think of James Bond? Would they make their own version of the franchise? Personally I think an octopus Q would be great “now listen here 008, they’re called coconut shells, and you hide in them” (I don’t know, I’m having a weird one)

How y'all doing, fam? That Casino Royale episode got pretty heated there, all good?

1. Imagine that every relationship Bond has had with a Bond girl has produced a bastard child. Which of these children is best equipped to fight and kill their father in direct combat? 2. Which Kronsteen Rosette winner would you want on your team if you were a Bond villain? Or if you were a hero, which Goodnight Cross winner would you choose?

If you each had a death note, who would you kill and why?

Since the Kronsteen Rosette and Goodnight Cross weren't a thing for some of the earlier episodes, to whom would award them for the first Connery films?

What's your (especially Alice's) opinion on OSS 117 3? Also, can you do more good movies as bonuses? I enjoy getting recommendations from what you watch and I can't do that if you keep doing ones like Cannonball Run or Penguins of Madagascar...

You have to create the first annual Bond Olympics to showcase the best Bond each country can send. What would some of the events be?

If you were a bond villain, what would be your dastardly plan and iconic look? Sub question, how would you handle 007? OR Bond is recast as a cis white woman, because the film's team are cowards who want to appear liberal minded, from mannerism to story beats to villain how would this be reflected in the film?

Hello KJB! This is my first time plucking up the courage to ask a question. An alien telepathically contacts you and asks you which Bond film represents the best of humanity’s art and culture. Which Bond film do you choose?

How would you kill Mr Bond and what one liner would you say to send him off?

Of all the bond gadgets what would you pick to abuse for personal benefit and how?

Much like how Brosnan’s Bond missed the events of 9/11 due to a combination of being tortured with scorpions and/or disassociating into an ABBA-themed fugue state, do you think that the global impacts of COVID will ever be acknowledged within the Bond universe? If so, will they receive any more attention beyond M muttering “the world has changed,” and, follow-up, what’s the funniest excuse Bond could have for being oblivious to the pandemic?

Who would be the the Dream actor to play Bond, Anyone during their prime, Ironic or serious? This can be any man, woman, non Gendered folk alive or dead. My serious answer is Christopher Lee during his hammer horror days. A truly terrifying and unforgiving presence perfectly capable of reveling in whatever silly bullshit they made during the 70s and 80s. My ironjc answer is Steven Segal trying his best to sound posh.

What is the largest animal each of you could individually cling film to a lamppost? One animal per person!

Which real-life wife of each Bond actor is or was the hottest when they were younger?

Now that we've had Welsh bond, Scottish Bond, and Irish Bond, what would be the funniest or most cursed part of the commonwealth Bond could be from?

if you were Top Secret Agents; what martial arts style would you be using/ masters of?

For all 3 hosts: Do you have any headcanons for how James Bond is able to be the same guy in every movie? (I.E. clones, a robot, etc.)

What food would you eat, even if you knew it was poisoned by an enemy?

If you had to add one letter/measure to the SCUM rating system, how would you modify it?

What happens once you reach no time to die? Does the podcast keep going?

what do you guys think about the recent eruption of horniness for Austin powers on the internet?

The three of you collectively have been captured by MI6 and forced into the role of Q. What stupid gadgets do you make for bond in order to ruin his day and/or just get him killed. Most ridiculous answer wins.

what are your thoughts on the only musical and explicitly gay bond entry to the Bond Canon, by which I mean the music video Genghis Khan - Miike Snow

What's the biggest land animal each of you could kill unarmed in a life or death fight?

Of the Bond films you have watched so far, which movie has outperformed your expectations the most?

The second-installment rule is a KJB classic—but what’s the best *third* series installment?

I am asking you to do something I am sure you do not want to do, but here it is. What is something you like about the Bond Franchise as a whole? What positive impact do you think it has had, either on your lives or on the culture in general?

you've already discussed the male body hair stuff going on in bond, but do you have any thoughts about the use of facial hair / lack thereof in bond films?

What would be different about the series is James Bond was American? (blondeness optional)

What are all your dads' favorite bond movies? My dad's favorite is inexplicably and worryingly: Live and Let Die.

What forms of media do you consume to relax? Films/TV/Video games? Which Bond is the most Trans? Trans men deserve attention too :)

Do the three of you all anticipate meeting up IRL at some point in 2022?

Now that you’ve done so many 007 movies, are there any that you’d go back and adjust the scores for?

Of all the villains in the bond universe, which one has the most unusual gait?

Mr Eon has got drunk and given you the keys. Now's your chance, can you pitch a movie about a social or revolutionary struggle in which James Bond is a principle antagonist? E.G Sean Connery orchestrating the murder of Patrice Lumumba or or Daniel Craig supporting Mark Thatcher's coup.

Shakespeare question; if staging a product of Midsummer Nights Dream, how would you deal with the ending where Titania goes back to Oberon?

Which characters from earlier films would you most want to retroactively award the Kaufman Star to, and why?

If you were the villain of the film, what Bond gets the best of you? Which Bond do you easily defeat?

Were you transly obsessed with any of the bond girls? Because Eva Green and Halle Berry made me feel (trans) things.

What is the film least to do with the bond franchise that you still want to cover on the pod? Get as weird as possible.

If you could add any other movie to the canon of James Bond, what movie would you pick to absolutely fuck it up beyond belief?

There is currently a lot of speculation over both the next James Bond actor and the next Doctor. Who from the list of people rumoured for JB would make the best Doctor, and vice versa?

What questions are you surprised haven’t been asked?

What questions would you like to be asked? What are the answers to those questions?

What are your fursonas? If you don’t have one, pick one!