S4E18.5: Sam

Starting to think I'm part of this repressor community.

Thank you for the playlist of these Devon you're a real one ✨❤️

*the kerning*

Yeah but I actually do wish that though.

This is by far one of the best episodes of this podcast. I got so invested in this story because of what I learned about it's creator and how significant all these aspects of the story were in that context. It's beautiful, it's tragic. Nicky, from the bottom of my heart, I hope you can hear this message: There is still time.

Stop calling out my fashion choices. I'm definitely still cis!

In a discussion of muppets at the GIC, did anyone talk about how Janice is canonically trans? I'm *reasonably* sure Richard Hunt said as much (though with different nomenclature) in an interview.

i am indeed wearing long sleeve under short sleeve at this very moment

hey it's not *always* magic sometimes it's science-flavored magic and there's an injection or a ray beam and someone in a lab coat. ahem.

"I don't want another gynecologist, I want you" is a very cute line, but a nightmare ethically

.......fuck, called out by the "wish I was trans" bit

I went through the comments and didnt see anything correlating to this so ill ask: where can i find the writings of Allison Reeves (sic?) i feel like i specifically have a lot to learn from this author. I wasnt on fictionmania but i was definitely consuming things adjacent to it, albeit deeply laden with shame

Looking back at the analysis it really is “I look inside myself and ask, do I feel like a man, or a woman, and the answer is that I feel like shit” The Movie.

Call me an astronaut the way Armageddon my balls removed Who up getting a foot and a half of head with a thumb in the hole

for an extension of religion season, in this instance Catholicism, i recommend the movie “bad lieutenant” (1992) by abel ferrara - it essentially boils down to the titular bad lieutenant played by harvey keitel, having a spiritual and downward spiral breakdown whilst doing some of the most reprehensible things possible lol

The Draughtsman's Contract mentioned! Would love to hear yall talk about any of Greenaways movies

Figure out your gender identity in the early 2000's meant fictionmania was practically a holy pilgramige that completely screws you up for along time. And by god was I right there in the festering swamp. That scene of Sam crying that she can't play american football anymore is absolutely peak denial behaviour. Speaking as an out and proud trans gal who loves sports I want to go back and kick ̶y̶o̶u̶n̶g̶ ̶m̶e̶ Sam in the head. If you want to get deep into the deep dark woods go back to that cursed website and see how much copaganda and right wing cope was bubbling under the surface. It's like looking to the eyes of the eldritch terrors.

I am 1/3 of the way through, and the entire cast is seeing straight through this glass closet door. God damn.

Why is this tv so fucking bright, man

I lost it when Katie mentioned TFTG stories. The number of online comics and comic artists I could name...

Oh this episode hurt and made me dissassociate while operating a forklift so hard I had to take a break.

When I came out one of my friends at the time who I am no longer friends with wrote a story like this thinly disguised as just a story in his words where the main characters best friend turns into a girl and he has to deal with the feelings that he has towards her because you can't have a guy be best friends with a girl without them falling in love. He really tried to play this off as it not being about me but me and every single other person the friend group knew it was about me and would constantly ask him about updates and would read it to me when he wasn't around it was absolute torture and it was pretty much all of us type of tropes that are in this movie I'm pretty sure it's still on wattpad I just can't remember his username

White Boy Shocks Waitress At Hooters By Ordering In Perfect Womanese

RIP James McCaffery :(

This episode made me so uncomfortable I can't imagine mainlining this amount of dysphoria

Mine transition was the train of non binary, MDMA, transgender

Woah. As a nonbinary bisexual who didn't know nonbinariety was an option until their 30s and also spent years lowkey pining for their straight best friend, hearing y'all talk about this movie has been... well, a lot of things, but ultimately healing. The moment you brought up Gonzo I fully experienced gender catharsis.

Being nonbinary, I’ve never allowed myself to go fully womanese

Gonzo consistently calls themself a "whatever." Hell yeah

Wouldn’t it be crazy if you trans-ed my gender? Haha just kidding…. Unless…?

Wild that I never heard of FictionMania or Spells'R'Us... and I still wrote stories like this. 😅 So, I mean... the internet is big. It's very possible.

The mention of Ed Wood makes me really interested in a Glen Or Glenda episode.

The last of the Old School Spells R Us? Is that anything?

I am 2 for 2 on consuming media with Muppet Or Man featuring in it. The other thing I watched today was StrangeAeons vs the Croaker

I have a movie I NEED y'all to pick apart for heist season -- if den of thieves isn't on the list I am Begging you to add it. never has a movie made me so genuinely upset by asking me to emphasize with a main character.

actually processed the comment near the end this time around about watching ed wood movies -- god please. please. ed wood was fucking tapped in to the oneiric realms she was cooking in the sense of like in botw when you throw a bunch of rocks and bugs into the cookpot and it's still Technically edible and restores hp she was so very truly On One and the way people talk about ed wood movies is still by and large mired in "haha so bad it's good worst film ever!!!" just because they were made with very little technical skill and a budget of pocket lint but there's so much There

1:43:38 The Cycle of Cisara.

Whenever you do trans heavy episodes it makes realize how cis I am

This film is such a unique insight into a very niche culture and experience, which is incredibly stereotypical for the genre it is lifting from, but is also wonderfully personal in a way that only the greatest works of art usually are. It's like we are seeing into the soul of the writer, in all its longing and self repression. You see and you know what they are thinking and feeling almost better than they are aware of themselves, and you empathize with them so much more because you can see that they are clearly unhappy but are convincing themselves that it's not real and it's just a fantasy. It's like watching "I Saw The TV Glow" as it is being written by Owen, not at all aware of what they are doing or longing for. It's almost a beautiful experience. Edit: YES, DEVON MADE THE EXACT SAME POINT ABOUT THIS BEING A STORY MADE BY OWEN!

a more recent movie that is very much territory for discussions about transness and discovering yourself is el jockey (kill the jockey for english release). it's an argentinian film about a jockey finding herself. it's peak nova hours since the movie is very artful/interprative. i feel not enough ppl know about this movie

Gonzo: nonbinary chickensexual

Brb, heading to HBO to pitch a prestige Morphic Adaptation Unit anthology series.

very seriously I'm 24 and was on susansplace when I initially figured my gender out so hearing it get a shout-out was wild

So religion season has now covered Catholicism, Judaism, and Spells R Us

The tv is glowing but i'm shutting my eyes and going la la la la la la

Demisexual icon Sam??

No one reacted to ‘fagician’, but I heard it and I appreciate it so much, Devon.

When they bleeped the name Abi said... I love that we can all fill in the person we most think it is. Can kinda be a equal opportunity hater (we all know who it was tho, right???)

I was too young for fictionmania but heaven knows I read though to much of this kind of shit growing up, and still sadly (hey at least I CAN still read) this episode hit far too close to home. I like to think the people who are writing the stories nowadays are better (Transitioned) than the repressers who did when I was young, the truth probably there are tons that still are repressing but I just don't read those kinds anymore. Sad to think about. Also I got to say it's always crazy to hear about abi's transition and how different it is from mine. I do think it's more than just transing yourself offline, its even having the ability to learn about trans people in real life or on the modern social media internet and not just on old small forums. Back when I transitioned in like 2014, even though we had 1 or 2 trans people like Laverne Cox, It still felt like an entire different world from transitioning in 2022, it felt like not many people in the public knew what a trans person was. Now everyone whether you want to or not you know what being trans is, at least a bit, and if you are trans that means you asked "what if I was trans" at least once. Back then there was a good chance you would never even learn the word trans and would be stuck thinking "wow sure wish there was a way I could be a girl too bad there isn't." Anyways it just always amazes me how differently people transition nowadays, sorry this comment is too fucking long.

At the end of the bit about doc showing sam what medically transitioning back would entail Katie reiterated that the movie was made in the mid 2010s and I legit gasped because I'd somehow forgotten this wasn't a 90s movie based on, you know, the contents being described. Jesus christ! Also somehow was still shocked at the reveal this movie thinks all women are demisexual Great pod as always!

I listened to this high on the train after bleaching my hair and getting a non binary ass haircut and I think I just realized I'm a woman

This episode was so good! Please have Katie on the show again, she's great!

NICKY THERE IS STILL TIME

Targeted aerial strike on me, a Sam, at 1am in the morning from the Patreon app

Crazy to see how people figured out they were trans before kill James Bond existed

the reveal at the end of this episode hit me like an ICBM.

also I see patreon is dropping people from the list of supporters again. it's probably based on billing date if I had to guess

I would love a bonus episode on Titane

Right fine I'll email the gender identity clinic congratulations KJB you've finally bullied me into it

As a trans woman called Samantha, I can tell this is going to be a TRIP. I'm forcing myself to watch the film first, and ooooh noooo... I'm 20 minutes in, and. Nooooooo.

An infinite number of transgender monkeys typing on mechanical keyboards.

The title of this movie being my deadname is fucking me up

Nicky Brooks: There is still time

This was such a good episode

I refuse to go entirely womanese.

As someone who has read a genuinely alarming amount of content on Fictionmania, this ep was absolutely wild to listen to. Lots of direct hits on me, but don't worry, I did eventually transition after spending a few years at "Well I'm not trans enough to put in all the effort transition would take." Katie: "He finds Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe." Me: "Spells R Us is in this fucking movie‽" Devon: "It's Spells R Us, baby." The trope scenes that were cut short gave me some complicated feelings. At first I was kind of angry because stuff like the clothes shopping scene are tons of fun. Lots of emotion, openings for comedy, so many missed opportunities! But now, I just feel sad. Like the hosts said, it was clearly out of fear. I have written a fair bit of TGTF fiction myself, certainly inspired by this genre but growing less problematic as I matured and actually transitioned. But the point is I've written these tropey scenes about shopping or masturbation or coming to terms with your actual desires. It's fun! It feels great to get that out. And to see someone get a chance to make something so weirdly specific and personal on this scale, however flawed, and then pull away from the most revealing parts is just tragic. I wish the story had gone differently. And I kind of mean Sam's story, but I really mean Nicky's.

PSA that this entire movie is just on Youtube because apparently nobody cares about its copyright? Search "sam 2015 movie", it's an hour forty-one, get flashbanged

"...the porn/not porn divide" ah, the P versus NP problem

i was at a bar once that had pretty woman playing on the tv and it might even not have been a gay bar

I think the short sleeve over long sleeve thing was pretty standard for music adjacent dudes of my generation, which is a bit older than the hosts' (especially Abi). Flexing to lose a boner is a concentration trick. If it was a bloodflow thing men wouldn't be able be active while (in my American accent) shagging.

Can't believe you missed the opportunity for the line "You'll have to forgive this eclectic clash of gender ideology, but I refuse to go entirely Womanese"

'Is this the period bit yet?' Is a fucking landmine of a sentence to just drop out of nowhere

Damn this one made me sad, when I wasn’t expecting it from the thumbnail at all.

The full film is currently on Youtube.

what

Well as someone called Sam who has not had enough sleep this suitably fucked my mind up for a few mins

Unsure whether I'm gonna take more psychic damage from listening to this, or waiting to listen to this as I sit through a work-related Teams meeting.

Doxxed by my favourite podcast again

Of course you realise that you have to do 'Switch' with Ellen Barkin now? (Note: not a complaint.)

Really didn't realise you *actually* had a guest called Katie Tightpussy coming on, I assumed the name was a Moonpussy-style bit whenever it came up on other eps. What a wonderful thing to be wrong about!

I would love for you all to cover the film Tootsie - Dustin Hoffman disguised as a woman to get a soap opera part. Surprisingly deep - won an Oscar. It's definitely not about 9/11!

Notification really hits different when it's calling your name

Mel Brooks' "son" Nicky

KTP on the KJB watched SAM, good? We'll see

So this isn't Mel Brooks's son who fights zombies? This is a different one? Interesting family.