S3E18.5: Beowulf
Beowulf is a 2007 American adult animated fantasy action film produced and directed by Robert Zemeckis, written by Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary, based on the Old English epic poem Beowulf, and featuring the voices of Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, Robin Wright Penn, Brendan Gleeson, John Malkovich, Crispin Glover, Alison Lohman, and Angelina Jolie. The film depicts the rise and fall of the monsterfucker Beowulf after he travels to Denmark to fuck a monster.
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Comments (62)
I came back to this one because I recently saw Nolan's Odyssey and while I did fairly enjoy it, the way they updated it to suit modern morality and literary themes reminded me a bit of this version of Beowulf. Just as grent people grend people, horse people become sea people. (Although I don't think the ancient Greeks would see themselves represented as enjoyably as the Norse would enjoy seeing how they're represented in this Beowuf. They'd be all "why should we feel guilt for the horrors of war? We love that shit (as long as we win.)") ("Grent people grend people" remains one of the greatest sentences of the 21st century.)
"Grent people grend people" is worth the Patreon subscription alone. Thankyou, Devon.
all time Devon performance
Pretty cool! I also want the gang to watch some anime for the bonus - the Wolf Brigade or the OG Ghost in the Shell (especially if you get to compare it with the source manga) are pretty good picks in terms of spy stuff, masculinity and femininity
Beowulf's boys getting ragdolled about is more accurate than you'd think. i checked out the making-of featurette - when shooting this with motion capture, they had Crispin Glover fighting off actual ragdolls to keep the proportions right.
The northman hype! Not my favorite Robert Eggers movie. But still super cool!
Eschatology or Ichtiology eh??
I'm so excited to hear the Northman episode
At what point during the Grending process can one birthday boy?
Beowulf's son, shiny Handsome Squidward
The year I spent attempting to learn Icelandic really made me appreciate November saying Víkingr.
watching bits of this on youtube after listening and it occurs to me the scene where Beowulf yells at the Frisian to kill him but he won't do it kinda reminds of the bit from Austin Powers 3 where Michael Caine is destroying that henchmen "do you know how many random henchmen I've killed? Look at you, you don't even have a nametag"
So glad you're doing this and Northman in succession! Would you consider adding 1999's The 13th Warrior to this Norse series?
Or failing that, perhaps another 1999 release, the Christopher Lambert Beowulf film 🤣
I may despise this movie, but the joy you all had reviewing it was infectious! I'm so glad I'm able to subscribe to the Patreon again. I'm also really glad you're doing The Northman next, because there's a ton of fascinating stuff to unpack with that film. If you're looking for a better example of "film that takes a deconstructive approach to foundational English literature," I think The Green Knight would make for an excellent episode. Or any serious King Arthur movie, really. King Arthur is like the other classic example of British masculinity besides Bond.
Have to agree with Nova that Seamus Heaney's translation is superior
this is the episode that got me on the patreon at last!! obsessed with how bad-good this movie is, and I'm always fascinated by movies that are so misogynistic they circle around to being like fucked up but kinda based? beowulf said "men are trash and women are the ones left standing in the rubble", they didn't mean to but its in there
November mentioing Halimede flat out hit me for six. What next Abby joking about "Wellness Checks".
E!
Surprised nobody went for the "Grendan Gleeson" bit.
E *is* funny
Someday, I really will read Beowulf. Probably. Is it good? Is there a certain translation to go for?
seamus heaney's is probably the best one and also easy to find; michael alexander's is also easy to find but i have no strong feelings about it. roy liuzza's is probably better if you're looking for just word-to-word accuracy. some people recommend tolkien's but i really don't, it's very self-consciously archaic in a way that becomes grating. maria dahvana headley's got a lot of buzz but, like november said, some of her language choices fall very, very flat—some lines are excellent and some are just awful and schticky, and for me the schtick overwhelmed the good bits. what i will say in defense of headley is that she at least attempted to do with grendel's mother (and specifically the word aglæcwif, used to describe her) what emily wilson did in her translation of the odyssey with the enslaved housemaids who telemachus murders, i.e. address a vein of translators' unexamined misogyny.
As a third movie to the Norse season, I hope you do the 13th Warrior, which is a John McTiernan-Antonio Banderas flick as a “realistic” Beowulf. You will absolutely hatelove it!
Another translation I have heard of "Viking" is "pirate," no idea how accurate that is but it does kind of fit what they were, which was people doing things regarded as criminal, but they brushed up against the British and the Brits decided that was just all of Scandinavian culture.
I'm not sure that's a really accurate parallel either because pirates were outside of society/built their own parallel society for one thing ; and because that's pretty much all they did with their lives for a while was piracy or living off the plunder of piracy until it ran out and then it's back to piracy again. Whereas "going avikingr" was more of a thing you did for a little while when the crops were shit that year, or the trade was going meh or the fishing didn't really pan out - so you just went on an expedition to find some new land to settle in or take the shit you lack from someone else. Then you went back home to your regular life and forgot about it. Sometimes "sailing to trade" and "going viking" were kind of the same expedition as well, meant first and foremost to try and sell/exchange wares but if they don't want to buy (or sell the things you wanted), well, there's this here big ol' axe you've brought for, um, luck.
Getting heatstroke just thinking about wearing a binder with any kind of leather.
Good episode! But I got a degree in ancient languages and a particular interest in Viking age literature and history, and boy do I have notes XD
God would we love to hear them. lets go im so interested
movie i saw in freshman year of college that made me go "huh maybe neil gaiman is kind of full of shit"
All these jokes about Nordic chanting and I'm over here looking at the God of War reboot-quels going "they were cooking with that one"
Beowulf enters the magical goon cave to pay-pig for his hot EEEEE-girl Angelina Jolie
If you're looking for the Beowulf trifecta there's always The 13th Warrior with Spy Kids 3-D's own Antonio Banderas
November, as a Valkyrie, scoffing at (original Hunbot) (H)Unfredh: "Alfreds know muhammed (peace be upon him) is the way to go."
I find this movie really interesting if only because it’s a result of a genuinely amazing director being consumed by his own obsessions. This is what Robert Zemeckis has dedicated nearly his whole 21st century career to, it’s really depressing.
Hearing Abigal talk about daily life with monster girls gave me such whiplash. Good to know the hosts of the pod are also monster fuckers
Devon, how many werewolf stories you read. What secrets doth thine kindle hold
Viking Mini Season? Raiders are like Robbers. Could y'all round that out with 13th Warrior (did they already do 13th Warrior?)
It's a shame mead doesn't count as a loophole anymore. Islam patched it.
Troy McClure would have love this movie
Skyrim-ass movie
Also I know y'all are never gonna do books, but "A Feast Unknown" by Philip José Farmer is a 1960s X-rated hyperviolent/sexual/masculine novel about Tarzan (Jack the Ripper's son) and Doc Savage fighting each other. They have two different pork-sword fencing matches. Unironically. Seriously. They literally cross metaphorical "swords".
Minute 39 is what broke me: a solid 2 minutes of just the best lines trying to encourage monsterbreeding
There's a Nordic chant outfit called Heilung that is kinda Riverdance for Norse Paganism. They have antlers on their mic stands, wear a lot of furs, etc... they tour internationally. Also Valhalla Rising for Viking Month! A movie that really makes you think about how hard it is to kill someone with your bare hands.
Their live shows are great to watch on YouTube when you're high as hell. Highly recommend.
In Old English, -el indicates a tool (a handle is a tool you hold in your hand, a spindle is a tool that spins, a thimble is a tool you put on your thumb). This implies that Grendel is a tool for the purpose of grending.
It's actually theorized that it's onomatopeoia for a qern, he's a tool to grind
Not only are there a group of Viking swords signed Ulfberht, but when they started testing them recently, they found a bunch of them were counterfeit, made of inferior iron rather than steel. So even back then there were designer knockoffs.
Abby I sympathize so hard with the construction thing, I’ve been trying to get final papers written but the tenant below me moved out and the landlord has been doing the LOUDEST renovations downstairs for the last week
If there's gonna be a viking mini-bonus-season I feel like 13th Warrior has got to be in the queue.
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already stoked for the northman episode. robert eggers is a weird director! i like him
Please round off Norse mini-season with 13th Warrior, I need to hear November talk about Antonio Banderas [Arabic]
E
Is “Salt-Beowulf” a thing? A guy whose butchered a fillet steak using an axe, wearing aviators and furs seasoning meat?
The breasty barmaid (or one of them anyway) is played by director Robert Zemeckis' wife Leslie, who is a burlesque performer and documentarian and has been in a lot of her husband's films.
The message I got from watching the Northman was "hold on to your wife, revenge is for morons" And that's from someone who loves bloody revenge action Punisher shit
There deffo is Nordic chant TikTok. Kurtis Conner did a video of it
Gotta love an ep that starts with a giggling fit!
I prefer the prequel, Beowulf .50
Beowulf (2007) is the only movie I can think of when people ask me what the worst movie I've ever seen is. This'll be great
Ah, that's only because you haven't seen the 1999 Beowulf film, staring Christopher Lambert 🤣