Hello, this is Aimaitei Umami.
Somehow, May is already almost over.

May felt both long and short. Maybe it went by in an instant, honestly.
There were a lot of moments where I couldn’t really do much, so I ended up just feeling the seasons pass by through the window. Looking back, maybe May was already summer? Maybe?

✦ Thank you for Futaket 36th

Thank you so much to everyone who came by my space at Futaket 36th on May 3.

Thank you to everyone who picked up my books, looked at my shikishi illustrations, talked to me, gave me gifts or comments, ordered online, or continued to support and watch over me through this support site.

I wasn’t in the best condition that day, so I think there were more clumsy moments and mistakes than usual. I’m sorry about that.
Even so, I was really happy that so many people picked up my books and shikishi.

To be honest, I went to the event with some uncertainty about whether I’ll be able to keep participating in events in the future, depending on my health.
Part of me even wondered if this might be my last time.

But once I was actually there, it was just fun. Such a good space. Too good.

When people picked up my work, talked to me, and I could actually feel that my work was being seen, I naturally thought:

“Oh, I want to come back here again.”

When my body is weak, my mind tends to get weak with it.
I start wondering whether I can really change my environment, whether my health will improve, whether I’ll be able to draw again.

But what I received at the event has continued to support me even after some time has passed.

It’s working on me. Slowly. Gradually. I’m grateful.

✦ Getting my creative environment in order

So right now, rather than jumping straight back into full-on production, I’m first trying to build an environment where I can return to creating properly.

And by “creative environment,” I don’t just mean my desk, chair, or tools.
It also includes taking care of my health, being able to sleep properly, and not being constantly pushed around by pain and various physical issues.

Lately, I’ve been reviewing my bedding setup and even reconsidering where I live, in order to improve things from the root.

Basically, the foundation of my daily life has become a bit too complicated. If I try to force myself to draw through sheer momentum while leaving all of that as-is, I feel like I’ll probably hit a wall somewhere.
Is this aging?!
I can’t say it has nothing to do with it.

My body is yelling, “Fix your environment first,” and when I think about it calmly, that is honestly a very reasonable demand.

With the current combination of this house and my current bedding, I have to manage temperature and physical strain in way too much detail every day.
The management cost is simply too high.

So while my health has recovered a little, I’m seriously searching for a very basic, ordinary environment where I can recover just by sleeping properly.
What kind of house am I living in, honestly…?

✦ About my health

If I wrote out the details of my health situation, this would become a very, very, very long post, so I’ll keep it light here.

May was a month where my health really pushed me around.
Sleep, digestion, autonomic nerves, bedding, temperature, my lower back and upper back—everything was connected.
Whenever I managed to sort out one thing, another thing would pop up. Like health-problem whack-a-mole. 🌵

That said, it’s not as if I’ve made no progress.
Little by little, I’ve been identifying things like “this doesn’t work,” “this might still be possible,” and “this part probably needs to change.”

The six SwitchBot thermometers I started using last year have been doing excellent work.
They keep telling me, “Hey, this environment might not be great for your body. You may want to move.”
Though honestly, I would very much like to be freed from the thermometers already.

✦ About creating

So, when it comes to creating, I’m currently starting with building a state where I can draw without pushing myself too hard.

For a while, updates on this support site may be more about my current situation and the process of getting my living environment in order.
It may be a bit plain. Sorry about that.

But if I skip this part, I feel like I’ll end up stopping again anyway, so for now I’m doing the steady, unglamorous work.

Preparing to return to creating is also part of creating, I suppose.
Creating is living. That suddenly got huge.

Somewhere beyond all this preparation, I want to believe there is a “Super Healthy Aimaitei” waiting for me.
We’ll see…!

✦ Summary

So May was basically a month where:

I received a lot of energy from Futaket 36th,
I was truly happy that people picked up my books and shikishi,
then I spent a lot of time being pushed around by my health,
while looking for better bedding and possibly a new place to live,
and trying to build the foundation I need in order to return to creating.

The things I received at the event, and the presence of everyone watching over me, really do give me the strength to move forward.

Thank you, as always, for watching over me.
Your comments, reactions, words at events, and support through this site are all a real encouragement.

For now, I’ll keep gradually getting my life, health, and creative environment into a more sustainable shape.

I’ll post updates or progress again when I have something I can write about.
See you! ノシ

✦ ← I’ve been into this star mark lately.