Oct. '25 Progress Report
Hey all! Only a few weeks since the last progress report, but good lord have they been busy. I have spent two days at home in the past week and a half due to work trips, and I feel like I'm floundering a little!
For this Progress Report, I’ll do my classic “What have I been up to,” but I also feel like I owe you all an apology and an explanation for why I’ve been so absent this year. That’s why I’ve written something a little heavier about me/this Patreon/creativity in general down at the bottom, and a more hopeful look at a project that I really am excited about!
WHAT HAVE I BEEN UP TO?
This past Friday was another episode of The Gotta Catch 'Em All Game Show! Hosting this is so much fun, and it’s been lovely to work with a team of such talented producers and technicians that keep the show running. The VOD will be out in the coming weeks, and we will have another live episode later this year (in the first week of December, still locking in dates).
Outside of that, Karen and I have been hard at work prepping pitches, and I've been doing shoots for Dropout and some Magic: the Gathering actual-play shows. I can’t talk about them now, but you’ll definitely know when they come out!
As for personal video work, I haven’t managed to finish the things I spoke about in the past few Progress Reports! I keep overpromising on my personal work in the hopes that it might finally pull me out of the creative rut I'm currently in, but it hasn't worked. These days, it’s a lot easier to work on other people’s creative projects than my own, and that’s my little segue into…
SOMETHING A LITTLE HEAVIER
I definitely owe you all an apology for my lack of posts recently, both on YouTube and Patreon. I made this Patreon so I could keep creating fun, interesting videos, and I haven’t managed to do that this year. 2025 has been extremely difficult—both personally and in the world at large—and I think that’s the overarching reason for my absence. But an explanation is not an excuse, and I’m so sorry I haven't been living up to my promises.
Part of the reason is external: It's difficult to want to make silly videos when your country is devolving into fascism, and when AI spreads disinfo and steals the creations of artists at an ecological cost, and when your "independent" art is just another piece of content on a platform owned by the largest companies in the world. The other part is internal: I've been wicked depressed! Hard to be funny when you're sad all the time.
These things have chucked me into a pit of hopelessness. And the problem with being in a pit of hopelessness is that it's WAY easier to dig down than climb back out.
But I’m incredibly fortunate to have a wonderful partner and family to rely on in these moments. In the past month, I feel like I’ve finally started taking the steps I need to address these issues, because nothing can change unless I try to do something about it.
I’ve gotten new meds/therapists, tried to reconnect with hobbies I’ve neglected, and figured out a project that feels like it might allow me to use my platform to boost local arts AND be creatively fulfilling AND make interesting content for the Patreon!
BUT WHAT’S THE PROJECT?
Look: I usually like to keep everything a secret for as long as possible. I hate showing my creative process until it's over, because then I can pretend the process was clean and smart the entire way through. But in an effort to be more transparent and hold myself accountable, here's my idea:
Ever since making Pumpkin Cowboy, I’ve received some of the loveliest notes from people who have really connected with the piece. Moreover, I’ve heard from many parents saying that their children love the song and the video, and that makes me incredibly happy. As a result, I've always wanted to do more with Pumpkin Cowboy! I think Jonah and I did a great job on the song, but let's be honest, my puppeteering was just okay.
That's why I'm looking to create a small live show, tentatively called "The Pumpkin Cowboy Variety Hour!" The dream is to make an hourlong, family-friendly show with live-performed music and professional puppeteers performing the songs.
By tying the performance to a piece of media that already has a solid following, and by finally swallowing my pride and using every aspect of my "internet fame" to get butts in seats, I feel like this has a solid chance to do well AND be financially successful for the artists involved in the show!
We'd film the performance (and plenty of BTS content for the Patreon), and after we complete the ~monthlong run of the show, I'd post it on this Patreon. Way later (probably after a year or so) I'd put the full performance up for free. I would use my savings to pay for building sets/making puppets/writing songs, that way we aren't tied to an outside investor. As for ticket sales, all the proceeds would go to the other artists and the theater we use, since I'm extremely fortunate to have this Patreon to pay my rent.
At the moment, I'm spinning up a pitch that I'll be sending out to potential collaborators. There are a few routes I could use to make this a reality (working with a touring group, working with indie producers, potentially working with an incredible local puppet theatre that I won't name right now out of fear that I'll jinx it and they won't want to work with me!!!!), and I'm going to explore each of those routes as we finish out this year. In a perfect world, we'd be able to get this up sometime mid-2026, but I know better than to overpromise right now.
OKAY, THAT'S THE BIG STUFF DONE
Thank you for your patience with me this year. For now, I'm gonna follow the thing that makes me passionate, because that's a feeling I haven't had in a minute. I'll be back to making really important works like "froghorn.exe" sometime soon!
Comments (32)
Hope 2026 is better for you, BDG! You make all our lives better through humor and we appreciate every bit of it. My daughter and I have always loved your vids, “new shoes” (an oldie but a goodie) and the 2winz2 are a couple of faves. Hang in there!
💗💗 No apologies needed here. If we can be external motivation to do stuff you want to do that's bomb, but I for one take don't take any project ambitions from my patreon peeps as promises or obligations. I back folks here because I think their art is good and cool and they should be able to do it however they want, this is not an exchange, it's a patronage! Glad you're taking your space and getting support and hopefully feeling better 💖
Make sure you try and moderate what kind of stuff you're taking in; it's important to be informed, but you can still take steps to limit how much you're focusing on bad news and events, and increase your intake of positive content. The human brain wasn't meant to deal with so many big issues at once, so it's very easy to overload. It's old and simple advice, but do what makes you happy.
Please take your time. These strangers on the internet are not the most important thing right now. You don't owe us an explanation. I'll be psyched when you post something but until then it's alright, it's ok. I wish you all the best!! ( Also on behalf of my bf!!)
Ooh, the Pumpkin Cowboy live show sounds so interesting, I wish you well with that endeavor.
All artists need to rebuild from time to time. Honestly, if you decided to go into hiding and live for a year as a mountain hermit, many of us would understand happily still subscribe. Thank you for sharing some of your creative and personal processes. It means a lot!! Be well!!
I highly recommend Rebecca Sugar's album Lonely Magic, and the song "Love the Way It Feels" in particular. This has been a rough time and the album has been a cathartic listen for me
I'm guessing you've already thought about it, and didn't mention it for some reason, but what about crowdfunding for the Pumpkin Cowboy Variety Hour (which is a phrase that somehow doesn't make sense now, nor in early 20th century cowboy-on-TV times)? I have no doubt it will be popular enough to recoop the costs if using savings, but equally I have no doubt a crowdfunding pitch would prove immensely popular too without personal liability.
It's definitely been a hard year. I'm sorry you've been struggling, genuinely. For what it's worth, I don't expect anything from you just because I'm a patron. I support people on Patreon because it feels like giving back in some small way for all the joy they've already brought me, not just for cool rewards or whatever. You could never post again and I'd still be subscribed. That said, I look forward to seeing all the things you're working on, whenever you're ready to release them. Pumpkin Cowboy is near and dear to my heart and I am SO excited to see what you do with him 💖 I hope things get better for you. Take care of yourself and your mental health. We care more about you than about what you can do for us 🫶🏻
I rewatched Dances Moving this morning, and looking at the comments on the finale and my own experience, that piece and a lot of your work in general is something I and others turn to when depression is weighing us down. So thank you for making that, but also I hope you have your own Pagliacci.
And also thank you for sharing this recent struggle. You didn’t need to do that, but I hope that openness serves to help you feel like we don’t feel tricked into supporting you here.
Ok
Jokes on you, I'm funny because I'm sad. In all seriousness, it's kind of hard to do anything when the world looks like this. But together we're all just going to make one little pumpkin cowboy at a time and do our best to take care of ourselves first. I sincerely hope you take time for you, don't be afraid to take a nap, and try not to get down on yourself.
My support of this Patreon is entirely my choice, and I make it with full clarity of mind. I would stay signed up if you never produced another thing, my guy. I know a faceless post from someone you don't know may not have the weight of meaning that it could in other circumstances, but I hope that you can feel the genuine solidarity that the people here have for you. Anyone dissatisfied would just leave the Patreon.
Brian, this is what Patreon is for! You do not have to prove anything. I can't do much about the state of the world or any of that, but as a person who has lived a lot of life, I can tell you a secret. No matter what is happening in the world, with your family or other important relationships, you will survive it. You may be screaming, you may be bleeding, but you will make it through to the other side. All the struggle just builds you a deeper well to create art. Your art doesn't have to be funny all of the time, either. Sometimes, just doing something to express your overwhelm is enough to give you the energy to power through. Having said that, we all signed into this Patreon to support you. This platform isn't JUST about creating art; it's about living your life so that you CAN create art. I know it's hard to think of things that way, we've all been so conditioned to believe we owe society our skills and talents. But these things you are living right now are all fuel to feed the artist. You're still working on your art, just in a less direct manner. It will get better at some point. Someday we will all read the obituaries with great satisfaction. Until then, we gotchu. 🙂
I get so excited every time I see you on Dropout shows and I love the Pokemon game show (my friend saw you live at Worlds! I'm so jealous!) Between those, I haven't felt much of an absence, AND I'm happy people recognize your talents. Knowing I'm helping you keep the lights on between all that stuff is easily worth it for me. I look forward to whatever you make next, and am glad to know you're taking the steps to care for one of my favorite artists 😄
Thanks for all your honesty and also letting me know about the work with other people's projects because tbh I had no idea about them and am now curious to research more about fun media 🤗 The trope is that for depressed people to be funny they should do stand-up, but I'm not sure how much I actually agree with that lol My advice is to prioritize yourself and your personal relationships, especially if your mental health isn't great this year — your fans love your work but you're so much more than your work (because you a person!! people are more important than videos!!) Hang in there and looking forward to checking out the other projects you've been collaborating on ❤️
I'm also super excited to hear that a) MOAR PUMPKIN COWBOY?? and b) it sounds like you're trending more and more towards working with real people in real life places. I think our society needs A LOT more of that after we all watched too much TikTok and crap during pando, so hearing people are in alignment with me on that and moving back in to real life third spaces is awesome
You don't owe us anything. Make sure your needs are taken care of before worrying about producing content. You're not alone in feeling this way about the world we live in right now, but as long as we're still here, there's still hope.
You've got us all rooting for you! This is a cool group of understanding BDG Fans! I can't wait for more Pumpkin Cowboy!
My children (7 and 3) adore your videos and music and I wanted to thank you for being the soundtrack to the last few years. You've been on road trips with us, played to confused grandparents, and are a staple of mid-afternoon dance parties. Thank you for bringing us joy!
Take all the time you need Brian! Your work has always put a smile on me and my partner’s face and we’re excited to see all you have in store!! I resonate so much with the feeling despair and uncertainty of the world. As a fellow artist I’ve also struggled to share work when it’s shown on these corporate platforms that support the fascist agenda. But I know I wouldn’t be here doing what I do if it wasn’t for you and other artists who continue to show up despite what the world spits out. Your work is valuable and we are a powerful creative community 💜🐸
Been feeling the same way re: the State of the World. Feels like we just have to outlast them, and I appreciate you bringing joy into bleak times. Here's to us all.
I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way, and if it brings you any comfort, please know that I at least don’t feel let down as long as you’re able to continue pursuing whatever speaks to you creatively and let us in on it when that becomes something that’s shareable. I’ve been in similar places and am wishing you all of the best in finding your way out. Also, if you ask me, while fighting the creeping fascism is super important, one way to fight it is by finding joy even in silly seemingly inconsequential things. The pro fascists want to sap joy and joy is sometimes its own form of resistance. (Side note: I finally got around to remembering to follow you on Twitch since I’ve started watching much more regularly on there. If you see DarkLordFoxx around the chat, that’s me)
Take your time with it - we’re all happy to be here and supporting you! Take care and wishing you the best ☺️
In a world where it feels like we are a bunch of crabs dumped into a bucket, it is so awesome to see people resisting the urge to pull other crabs down and unite into a powerful CRAB LADDER!! Even if it won't get us out of the bucket, it can still help us see a bit more of the sky
this is HUGE newS!! i'm so sorry that you feel like you owe us (i will repeatedly bang the drum that i am paying for a considerable debt of entertainment, comfort, and social web that YOU have given ME), but i'm thrilled beyond telling that you can wrangle your brain into a collaboration more easily than a solo project. I think it really helps burnout, fascism-resistance-motivation, and community to feel like you're creatively part of something, and that you have something to contribute to it, rather than working only inside your own bubble. by all means follow the passion! we're rooting for you and that heifer-wranglin' gourd!
self care first! the stuff you’ve been putting out even with the challenges you mention has been so worth being a patreon member (incl the “other people’s things” since those are often free to enjoy).
The techno-fascism is very good at getting us to despair, hang in there BDG! I still love seeing you in everyone else’s stuff and I think I speak for everyone when I say you dont owe us anything :) have a good day thanks for the update
It's a super rough and demotivating existence right now. Wishing you all the best Brian. 🙏💚
Mate I'm struggling with my office job enough due to *all of this*, so I can only imagine how hard it must be to summon the japes and whimsy on a daily basis. The new approach sounds great, wishing you the best with it and everything else!
It really can’t be oversold how hard things are at the moment, so anything that keeps us all afloat is what we have to cling to. Best wishes to everyone.