A Delay On This Month's Video
Well.
I filmed the reveal and talking-to-camera bits for this month's video last Saturday, and I had filmed the pattern drafting and sewing of the project back on May 1st and 2nd, so I was all good to go, ahead of the game some would say.
Then on Sunday I took my parents to the airport for their vacation, came home and immediately took my cat to the vet. He was down to 5 pounds, had a low temperature, and they couldn't really tell me why he hadn't been eating for the last few days. We got blood work and went home, but it was clear. At 17 and a half, he had decided to go.
So I edited the princess seam video for the channel on Monday while checking in on him every hour and worrying he wouldn't be there, was there, but not there. He was clearly miserable and still hadn't eaten. I called to set up the earliest available at home euthanasia appointment, for 8:30 the next morning. I honestly didn't think he would make it through the night. At 2:30am I though I heard him yowling, but I think it was actually all in my head. I went downstairs to find him hiding in the cat carrier where I had left it after the vet the day before. I laid a blanket out on the dining room floor next to him and set my arm in the cage with him so I could be with him while he was clearly too uncomfortable to sleep. You and me both bud. He let me hold his tail a little for a few minutes, then reached out and laid his paw on my wrist for a bit which did /not/ help me stop crying of course.
But really he wanted to be alone, like most cats do when they are ill or dying. So he got up and walked away from me. He hid in his litter box, then in a weird spot in our mud room closet when I took him out of the litter box. He didn't want me to bother him, hover like I wanted to. So I set him in his big bed and he was too weak to hide again so he let me. He was quite dizzy it seemed, weak and broken, and so was I, and so I kissed him some more and told him I would leave him alone. I went back to bed and slept for a few hours knowing he probably wouldn't make it to our much dreaded appointment in the morning anyhow.
But when I went downstairs to check on him the next morning at 8am, he had moved into his little cubby box in our living room and was still holding on.
The vet showed up at 8:45-ish, was gentle with him and with me, and alone with a stranger and a cat I had known for more than half my life, I pet him softly as he died.
So that obviously wasn't great.
I managed to get the princess seam video done for the channel after picking my parents up from the airport yesterday. Today I had planned to get the (very fun) dress video done for here on Patreon. And I sat down resolved to do it too, especially since I am still supposed to go to Moab for a few days with my parents soon (becuase every time I plan to leave my house my pets decide to pass apparently?). But wouldn't you guess it? My pattern drafting footage was no where to be found. I had lost or accidently deleted it. I have all the sewing footage, but none of the pattern drafting. So I ate lunch and have just spent the last few hours redrafting the pattern for camera again. But now...I can't edit it and get the video up before I leave in time for my usual 20th of the month upload.
Which is a very long way of saying this month's video is going to be coming next week instead. I realize most probably don't even notice I always upload it on the 20th anyway, after all it is a made up deadline, but you know, usually I like to be organized.
I could force myself to edit it until late tonight, but also, I can't. I know you are all amazing and incredibly kind, and yet I'm still sorry the video will be out late. At least the dress is my new favorite ever? So I hope you will agree it was worth waiting for.
Even if I couldn't remember today exactly how I had done the front skirt pattern back on the 1st. Would love to watch back the missing footage myself really.
Hug your pets pals, and I'll be back next week. Thank you for your support. ❤️
Comments (67)
I am so sorry for your loss. I went through something similar years ago and it was the hardest thing that I have ever done. It's heart-breaking, but it is the right thing to do. Take time to grieve - our pets are family members.
Also, and this might be a bit woo-woo, but a friend of mine is a pet psychic. She said that our pets come back to us in, reincarnated. If you can believe this, then this might help you. I don't know about that myself. But I'm open to it.
I am so very sorry. I have had to experience this myself, several times, but it never gets easier. Please take some time for yourself to heal. I still haven't completely healed from the death of one of cats--she was my rock, my confidante, my constant companion. After 10 years, I still miss her. I cannot even rive by the Vet's office, which is on a major road. We never totally get over the loss, but I know that for myself I have to come to some sort of more than melancholic stasis in order to live my life.
So sorry to hear about your cat! It’s such a sad circumstance to lose a pet - they are a part of the family. I hope that some time off will help.
I found one of my four cats dead three years ago. I’m still not over it so I understand the heartache. Best wishes
Take all the time you have to. So sorry for your loss
So so sorry for your loss of little Gunny and of Cleo, it’s absolutely heartbreaking to lose these parts of your family. Take all the time you need. I am sure they are both purring and watching over you from wherever they are now ❤️
Losing two pets in one year earns you a break kid.
I’m so sorry 😢 Losing a beloved pet sucks! Take care of yourself as you deal with this.
We all understand. I've had a lot of losses, too, lately. Take care.
I'm so sorry. I hope you can just take your time to grieve and recover. I have been through similar events with my cats too many times, and I'd never want to push someone to work through that. Work can help, but it really just delays the feelings. I'll still be here, and so will all of your supporters. Take care of yourself.
So sad to hear this news. Especially after your other cat. A least you got to say good bye to Gunny. Hugs! Take time for you. We are not going anywhere . We lost our Keko around the same time you lost Cloe (?) Last September . It's so hard when our fur friends leave us. Hugs to you and your family.
Sorry I hit the post button to fast. I am so new to technology. Yea I know…. No I haven’t lived under a rock. I’ve chosen to stay away from it for a long as possible. I’ve had 2 cats. My first I got when I was 16. An all black cat I named Fantasia. Bought her from the pet store in the mall back in the day when that was a thing. She loves to play with pencils. My other was a stray I found as a kitten. Named him Vincent. He was a HuGE gray cat that would play fetch like a dog. He would reach over and tap your hand when he wanted loving. Much like your baby. His story sounds very like his. He was put on all kids of medicine that I could not afford at the time. I was a poor college student. But I got a credit card just to pay for his medical costs. He was down to 9 pounds and was passing blood in his stool. That’s when I decided to let him pass humanely. It was the first time I ever had to do it and I was alone at the vets office. I still have his cremation remains in a pretty box. It’s been many many years but I still think about that boy. So maybe this is my very long story to say…. You’re not alone. We are here for you even though I guess we are strangers. Pet loss is an unfortunate reality to giving our hearts to these babies. But the joy and love surpasses the grief (eventually ) …. Big big BIG hugs from Texas for you and your family. Order some Cadbury eggs and get those bacon date thingies you like. Ok Geeze….. I can go on and on! Darn being southern! We can’t make a short story for nothing:)
❤️
Oh darling… please please do not worry about us on the other end. You take time to be with your family. I have a dog named Luna. She’s a rescue. Came from horrible circumstances. And she is my soul mate. Even my husband knows that she comes first:). She’s 9 now (approximately since we don’t know her real age) and I pray to the universe and every single god out there that she will live until 17. I tell her every single day how much I love her. Maybe a little to much….. :)
I lost my 18 yo cat in December. It's a rough road. Take all the time your need.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Please take some time for yourself.
As someone whose favorite thing is a cat curled up in my lap, I can understand how deep your loss is. A video can wait. Grief cannot. Please know that you are in our thoughts and we understand.
Cleo and Gunney...I am so sorry for your loss...as my friend told me today...have a cup of tea and feel all of the emotions because you have to, you and they deserve that...luvsyaheaps
Oh my dear, I'm closing in on getting into the same boat with my very old dog. I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry for your loss. It’s the hardest thing to have to let go but the biggest privilege to be able to help our pets to be as comfortable as possible and as loved as possible in their last moments.
She had a wonderful life with you, as will all your future cats, because you know how to love and there will always be more kittens who need forever homes.
My condolences for your loss. I am so sorry and wish you all the best.
I am so sorry, as someone who had to say goodbye to two of the best kitties in a short time I can understand the heartbreaking grief. My thoughts are with you in these difficult times and I hope you can find some peace soon. Don't be too hard on yourself for the video. It can't be helped and like you said, we can all wait a little longer, I doubt anyone would mind.
I have two elderly cats - take care, we understand
Many hugs and condolences. I had always had several cats since being 6 years old, lost a few over the years. Now I have 8 and am dreading the day they will go. Losing a family member is always the hardest, no worries about us and take your time. Kudos for making it trough the princess seam video. You are doing great.
Sending you lots of love, Bianca. Take care, take your time 🖤
I’m so sorry to hear about your sweet and long loved kitty 💔 Send you lots of love 💕
The little fluffies take up a huge place in our hearts. Look after yourself. I’m so sorry xx
Sending massive hugs, again! Hopefully some time away with your parents at Moab will be a welcome distraction 💕 Im sure he secretly appreciated the hovering at least a little.
So sorry to hear this sad news. We’re here for you. I hope you managed to enjoy your time in Moab with your parents. That time is special. Sending hugs and lots of love. X
Sorry for your loss! Thanks for the long messages. Hope you are soon feeling better!
So sorry for the loss of your sweet baby.
Im so sorry for your loss Bianca. Sending you lots of love
Sending all the love xxx
So so very sorry. Thank you for sharing so honestly and in the raw. I appreciate it more than I can express and I am sure others do too.
Oh I am so so sorry for your loss. I hate that you've lost two pets so close to each other. Please take all thw time you need. Don't rush for us. We will all be here when you're ready again! Hugs for you and your family!
Deepest sympathies for your loss--please take all the time you need <3
My thoughts are with you. We support you. So go - take the time you need. none of us want you to burn out. Be kind to yourself.
So sorry for your loss. Our cats are such an important part of our lives.
I’m so, so sorry! We have an old beagle who has given us a few scares lately and I definitely held him extra tonight after reading your moving post. I know nothing I say will take the pain away. Please know that you have so many people sending you and your family comfort and love. Please take all the time you need. Take care!
Hi, I'm so so sorry for your loss. Why not talk to your boss about taking a couple of days/weeks/months off due to bereavement. For all of us (from what I can see from the other people commenting), we will be here for you when you come back. I certainly will. I hope that you have an awesome time in Moab, and perhaps bring back some pictures. Traveling vicariously through you I get to see some fantastic places. Most importantly though; be kind to yourself ans try to remember to breath. With all my love, Ann
Aw gee this hurts. Hugs coming to you! I was away at school when my parents had to put our dog, Buster to sleep. They buried him in the woods under a nice, big pine tree where we used to play and then they sent me, at school, a little piece off one of the branches which I hung on my dorm room wall and sobbed like there was no tomorrow. I remember a friend saw the little twig on the wall and laughed at it and that hurt so bad. Be good and kind to yourself. Maybe make yourself some little memento that's small and you can take with you to remember Gunny and Cleo. Animals are precious, way kinder than most people. ❤️
Oh. This is so so sad. You have experienced two such losses in such a short time. Please take care of yourself. Grieve at your own pace; work when it is a solace, and don't work when it is a burden. We all understand, and we all have been there.
I'm sorry for your loss. Give yourself grace and time to recover.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Deadlines are far less important than being kind to yourself during this difficult time.
I'm very sorry for your loss. What a handsome little guy he was! Please don't worry about your upload schedule; take whatever time you need.
Pets are family. The fact you got anything done is remarkable. My family (including my Georgie and Leo) are thinking about you and your loss. Take care of yourself and know that you are a great cat parent. Virtual hugs.
I'm so sorry to hear about your cat 😢 it's always tough even when they're old. Our old girl Ginny is 17 and has had a few health scares. We've even dug a grave expecting she wouldn't come back from the vet alive but she was super happy and spritely the next day. We're taking it day by day and we'll put her to sleep when she's no longer happy to be here.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you much love and many hugs. ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss. Loosing your beloved cat is enough to contend with right now. Don't worry about posting for it can wait until you are doing better. I am sure we are all grieving with you and shedding a tear. Warm purrs coming from us all.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet. Please, please take all the time you need. You don't have to stress yourself out for a video when you're grieving. I hope you are still able to enjoy your time in Moab with your parents. You deserve some time away. ❤️
Hugs, but not hugs because I’m not a toucher or be touched person. Any way 🖤🖤🖤 for you and ghost skriches for your kitter. I’m feeling it today, dealing with a doggie who is not long for this world (I’m only buying the small-ass bag of dog food these days) … Peace and healing.
Bianca I am so sorry for your loss. Please take all the time you need.
I'm so sorry, Bianca. I know how much it hurts to say goodbye to our loved ones. Please take all the time you need.
No worries at all Bianca! Very sorry to hear about your cat as well, especially so soon after your girl. Take it easy and we'll all still be here when you get back
Please take all the time you need 💜💜💜
Take all the time you need, Bianca. And please be gentle with yourself
Aaaargh, I'm so sorry to hear this; it's so devastating to lose our furry family members. And you just went through it a few months ago with your girl. Sending you the warmest thoughts. You're not alone.
Losing a loved one is always hard and can interrupt even the most important deadlines. My deepest sympathy to you. Take all the time that is needed. I'm sure we can all agree, it's needed, and we're not going anywhere. 💋
You take all the time you need sweet. It’s so hard losing someone you love. Look after yourself. We will be here when your able to work ❤️
My condolences for the loss of your cat (Gunny if I’m remembering correctly). It’s so hard when our pets get old and frail.
I'm so so sorry. Take the time you need. 💜
Deepest condolences to you. Losing a pet, even when they let you know it’s time, is so heart wrenching. Please take all the time you need.
I’m so sorry for your loss 💔❤️
I'm so sorry. Will be here when you return
I'm so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself, please.