All My Rings Schismatic feat. Mattie Lubchansky and Josh Boerman
Too much is happening at once. We've got repurposed Realdolls being pitched as AI robot teachers....or tutors, since supposedly the difference is crucial. We've got an eight-figure settlement in the case of eBay gangstalking bloggers and doing Jared Leto Joker pranks on them. We've got a wearable tech ring for being a better Evangelical Christian, but also somehow reinventing indulgences. We're grateful for Mattie Lubchansky and Josh Boerman for joining us to rejoice in it all.
Comments (76)
The World Wide Message Tribe came to my school in the 90s, thanks for the reminder!!
"The Shah is Back" I never knew the theme song from Black Books had lyrics???
The song is obviously mega cringe on its own but the idea of him whipping out a portable speaker to put it on in a presumably fairly high end Parisian restaurant makes it exponentially worse/better
This is such a niche pull, but the lyrics music style combo of the Shah song is giving "song at the end of a Lemony Snicket audiobook" so hard
WHY IS IT TO THE TUNE OF "BESAME MUCHO"?
I'm bring Reza back (yaow) Them ayatollahs don't know how to act (yaow)
Bit of a Leonard Cohen vibe to The Shah is Back
Honestly, if it actually worked that way, “activating my surveillance ring by making the Sign of the Cross” would be so fucking cunt, in a 40K sort of way
In my head the 3x repeat Javid Shah went immediately in my head to the tune of “here we go here we go here we go!” which does sound like something the barmy army would come out with if England faces Iran…
Omg omg can somebody please make the clip where the sirens are singing "the shah is back" please please please
do you think the ring can vibrate long enough for you to cum?
Yes, but you have to be praising Jesus the whole time
Unrelated to the episode, but have you guys covered the startup making a chainsaw-wielding centaur robot who's emergency stop procedure involves firearms or stabbing? https://www.satyress.com
What a lineup this ep! If yall want more strange robots to gawk at, look into the "Satyress"
It's OK Mattie I loved at the BDG joke.
What the hell is the boys' and girls' club of America? Is that like, silicon valley nambla?
Nothing in the world could have prepared me for Jonathan Ross doing a cover of Who By Fire by Leonard Cohen as experienced in a particularly boring fever dream at the end there
Just wanted to say thank you for the psychic damage of the shah is back song. I don't what I expected, but I didn't expect it to rip off besame mucho.
This was a fever dream.
Song sounds like your drunk uncle doing Leonard Cohen karaoke.
Disappointed that Riley didn't mention that the ai tutor realdolls are developed and manufactured in Las Vegas #NVstrong
Mjskk L.c mxx zķnXc mdd ĺc kdll lç
The ring should remind you to pray 5 times a day. Once at dawn, midday, afternoon, sunset and night.
I was not ready for it to sound like an outtake from Rain Dogs
"The Shah Is Back" would be a great intro for another season of Narcos
Taking out all the references to the Shah from the song and changing the end of the chorus to 'trans your gender' fits quite well
Nova's back. 🙂 Nova's ill. 🙁 Mattie's there! 🙂 Mattie's locked in the basement. 🙁 Mattie is now part of the TF pension scheme. 🙂 Riley lost all the money in the pension scheme. 🙁
The frogurt is also cursed.
Another item for the "Church of England is cringe" file
"don't call her she, it's a it" im always saying things like this
How the fuck am I supposed to get any work done if I'm wearing a ring that keeps vibrating
Legs aren't coming. Legs are shaking because the robot is cumming.
I was not ready for that song.
Will no one rid me of this turbulent blogger?
My college had a robot it was one of those older ai-powered robots when they got it I want to say that it cost around 10,000 to 20,000 pounds he's pretty much never seen the light of Day because people bullied him so much he became "evil" and "sarcastic" he would run into people in the hallways drive over people's feet and if anyone asked them a question would give a sarcastic answer back. Ever since then he's been locked inside a cupboard
NGL the instrumental is kind of a banger, very moody. Vocals are a mess, he can’t seem to sing in harmony or even unison with himself and wayyy too much reverb and too low in the mix. Kinda telltale that he either doesn’t like or is anxious about his singing voice, Lennon had the same problem (except he was good and just had imposter syndrome).
Legless tutor sex bots and vibrating christian prayer rings. Oh what a time to be alive.
that good-natured "what?" and "huh?" with the comedically-timed delay from mattie and josh... is riley a social contagion???? forced rilefication??????
Don't worry, Josh. I got your BDG joke, and I thought it was very good. I immediately thought of him when I heard the guy was named Brian Gilbert.
My therapist: Don't worry, Pahlavist Besame Mucho isn't real, it can't hurt you
So thats Besame Mucho ruined for me. Thanks TF
YES I was just going to say!!!
Mattie’s sound is off in this episode. Not only it is quieter than the rest but also the volume fluctuates as she speaks, especially it gets quiet after P and B sounds. It wasn’t like that in all the previous episodes where she was involved in.
I think she's recording only with a laptop in a hotel room
If FTX didn’t give it away Glorify aren’t scamming the Christian church goers it’s scamming the wealthy Christian celebrities who are putting real money into this.
My First Tf episode listening to high
Meet TFs new host: December Kelly
Not apropos of the episode, but was there at some point a Milo—may his memory be a blessing—line about former Yugoslavs doing a bump of coke then lecturing you on how "woke" is the greatest threat to the Western world. That _just_ happened to me in Zagreb and it felt familiar in a way that could not have come from my own life.
I don't know what episode that was from, but I remember it as well. Also, I too have had such an experience, albeit in my case it was with a Bosnian in Iowa.
god is very bad with money and needs to know where you are at all times
God is my father?!? /ETA: Does God need donations of Marlboro miles?
"its designed to help christians maintain a consistent spiritual life in a world full of digital distractions" YOU ARE THE DIGITAL DISTRACTION!!!!!
this reminds me that I miss Milo being the voice of the audience yelling at the ridiculousness of the article Riley is reading
"ah yes, I keep getting stuff mailed to me and all of the people I know by somebody who has all of the information about my mailing habbits, and now unrelated this mail company that I covered unfavorably is approaching me about the mail harassment that I haven't told anyone about" all American companies are staffed by children.
Oh this is Lagrimas Negras
Is besame mucho... Literally
Swindled has an excellent episode about the eBay people. Give it a listen he’s a fantastic journalist. You’ll learn wonderful details from the story like how Baugh fired his entire department and replaced them with young women jokingly called “Baughs angels” https://youtu.be/Xy8xoQ9Mrc8?is=C3mL1vu7_uIXHIMF
O_o this is some idolatry. Materials-as-standbys-for-mysticism These motherfuckers have never even felt the stirrings of faith Zeus's thundering cock People need to evacuate Silly-Cons Vallsy
Pope Leo needs to start a purge of heretical protestantisms
This is a fun little party trick I picked up: Google Jason Derulo's real name and thank me later.
Torturing the Tom Waits fans in my life by playing that "The Shah is Back" song over and over.
Please help. I can just barely identify the song that it's imitating but not quite and it's driving me crazy....
Mattie AND Josh? It must be (the day before) my birthday!!
I used to get down to this sick beat from World Wide Message Tribe https://youtu.be/HHapmsYUrdw?is=QjkYJFWBqxVVMyoZ
i am so glad at least one other person remembers. did they come to your school
If anyone wants to know more about the Ebay fiasco I strongly recommend the behind the bastards episode on it. It goes into the details of how something this absurd could occur.
Seconded! As Riley was reading that tale I thought it sounded familiar, I checked BtB to be sure and yeah they did an episode on it a few years back. There's way more detail there for those interested
Omg but YESTERDAY AliExpress was advertising me smart rings to take the place of rosary beads which was so hilarious and baffling then. Even more bafflingly hilarious now but now I know it wasn't just a weird quirk of my algorithm!
I need Smart Beads (tm)
Biblically-accurate CRM
It’s always the legs, huh? I don’t get it.
Turns out that it's very hard to make bipedial things walk like they're sober
I am so pleased the pension fund meeting wasn’t about investing in Situational Awareness. That would have been very bad.
oh no nova died again. eh she'll make it back in due course. doomgirl did it like twice, how hard could it be?
Its not a real tutor unless it searches your library and puts a card in your hand
“feat. Mattie Lubchansky and Josh Boerman” in any podcast title is impossible not to click