September 2026 Q&A: the As

Is this the first face reveal??

Awe struck looks a lot like a dubious Fry meme lol

So I thought this was an alphabet before I read more closely. A and Q, big penny, calculator, dentist... Time to make a 28-page book. For the children. Does Gandalf go under g or b or n?

You requested the story, so here goes: I put together a D&D group from a cattle call for interested people in my neighborhood. Some of the guys in the group have a fair amount of experience with one or more versions of the game, some of them have a tad bit of experience, and at least one of them had zero experience whatsoever. I myself have played D&D and other RPGs for several years going back to the 1980s -- particularly third-edition D&D and the Oreo to its Hydrox, Pathfinder -- but for various reasons haven't played regularly for years, and have almost no experience with the newer editions (including 5th edition D&D). After confirming to our respective satisfactions that everyone understood basic hygiene and no one was a serial killer and so forth, because everyone had different experience levels we agreed that we would do a series of one-shots using different systems until we found one we all agreed upon. The first session was to use 5.5 rules, and was going to be run by a guy whom I'll call Barracuda Joe. So we met and made characters for that game, but Barracuda Joe wasn't available for that session; and once we had characters made everyone wanted to play, so I stepped in and ran a short mini-game pulling the rules out of my ass as I went, but everyone seemed to have a good time anyway. Then at the next session Barracuda Joe ran his game, and it ... I mean, thank you Barracuda Joe for running the game, let's just say that. After that game there was a general vibe from the group that they wanted me to run the next game. I said ok, but since I don't know my ass from Melf's Acid Arrow when it comes to fifth edition, I requested that we play using Pathfinder (first edition) rules. Several of the guys had already said that they had played/were interested in playing PF, so it's not like this was completely out of left field. Anyway, I sent them links to rules and character generators and all that -- specifically referring them to the Core rulebook rules -- and told them to reach out to me if they had any questions Not a peep from anyone. Ominous. So, like a goddamn moron I prepare a whole dungeon for a party of 5 first-level players, thinking everyone would show up ready to go as agreed. Here is what everyone showed up to the game with: Guy #1 (we'll call him Shabba Ranks) made a character using a creature from one of the bestiaries (and not even the first bestiary) as the race. Shabba was incredibly proud of his character, and when I seemed confused he proudly showed me his character sheet. He had made a *second*-edition Pathfinder character, using optional rules at that. As with fifth edition, I haven't ever played PF2e, and meanwhile every spell he cast and every ability he tried to use was something I had never heard of. So, without any other option, we winged it. Guy #2 (Monica Lewinsky) made an artificer. What is an artificer? An artificer is third-party content (shout out to the good people at Adamant Entertainment, who never meant to hurt anyone). I have no idea what an artificer is or what it is supposed to do. And I probably would've been more annoyed, except that Monica clearly had no idea either. He just walked around with what was essentially a grenade, and eventually blew himself up with it (we had to wing it). Guys #3 and 4 (Bill Schmaltz and Darren Jangerson) showed up with their characters from the 5.5 session, COMPLETELY UNCHANGED. Darren Jangerson is a complete newbie to tabletop gaming, so he gets a little bit of a pass, although I can't help but wonder why not a single question was asked. Bill, however, was not only one of the more experienced guys, but was also the one who was most vocally interested in Pathfinder specifically. How did I convert two 5.5 characters into PF1E characters in less than five minutes? I think you know by now -- we winged it. The only player who showed up with an actual PF1E character — or at least I think he did; I was too busy with the other basket cases to check too closely — was Barracuda Joe, the DM from the prior game, who (thankfully) made a straightforward human fighter … and proceeded to sit at the opposite end of the table and glare at me all game long, like I had usurped his throne. As if DMing is some great honor and not a miserable slog. The game actually went surprisingly okay once we got playing (except for the guy who blew himself up), and we're continuing with Part 2 of the one-shot (don't ask) next session, as I continue to furiously re-write every encounter. In preparation, I made new character sheets for Shabba, Bill, and Darren, and at some point will have to sit down and figure out what I’m going to do with the artificer. Also, if you don't hear from me anymore it's probably because Barracuda Joe poisoned me. Wish me luck!

looking forward to the rpg gaming story

YYYEEESSS PICKLES

Very amusing, as always. It is wonderful that you can respond with cartoons in response to Q&A queries. Coke or Pepsi?

Thems some faces

Fennel is the only reason I go back to everything bagels 😂

gandalf big naturals? gandalf big naturals.