You know Santa?

It's the gift that keeps on giving.

Me from Instagram I need me 4 more panels of waterproof vibe usage por favor.

Awwwwwww

How romantic

For some people, that mug would meam living in a world of silence. 😆 Also, where can I sign up my dog for karate lessons?

I love the autobiographical ones!

So romantic

Fat Dog is only a yellow belt which is why Santa wasn't concerned. After all, Santa has a black belt.

Judging by the mug they're morning sex people. Or he doesn't want people to talk to him during the day.

he heard her singing "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause" and said "I can make that happen 👀"

Totally makes sense because judging from Dad's coffee mug he's a very considerate lover ;)

When my daughter was about 5, she pulled me aside one Christmas and told me that if I see Santa, to tell him that he is good and that she likes his presents. ...No joke, just a little bit of wholesome Christmas cheer for everyone. Merry Christmas.

He knows how to keep a woman

So where uh... Where can I get one of these waterproof silicone suction vibrators without any of the weird patterns?

What a coincidence, as a child I too slept with an axe in my bed on Christmas Eve

I think you mean a little *peek* but the mom might get a little peak?

I know I say it every year, but Santa is a selfish lover.