D&D Court: Big Moves, Vibes Combat, and the Tale of Maximum Groin (w/ Branson Reese!)

AARP is 50…ask me how I know 😬

Idc if someone wants to play HPless combat, but if they do they have to TELL THEIR PLAYERS THATS WHAT THEY'RE DOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think you can join the AARP at any age

“Yea I could punch a guy and then unbuckle my belt” Caldwell what 😭

I absolutely love all of the Aquabats talk. I once did a burlesque act to Martian Girl.

Did they delete the Tortle Tank with Branson? I hadn't gotten around to it yet and now it doesn't show on my patreon app

Absolute eye roll to any GM claiming the time rules don't work the same and breaking the entire system, go homebrew an entirely new game then and come up with minute long mechanics then.

Anyone else think the dm that said a round is longer than 6 seconds meant that in a story way and not in a mechanics? Like so there was time in the fight for jokes and talking, but a rage would still last for the same number of rounds So that's why they said the player was being nitpicky

This show has become much more enjoyable since I’ve let go and no longer expect them to actually get to the bottom of anything It used to bother me how often they’d contradict previous rulings, contradict their own opinions about things, or worse just seem to rule based on the general vibe of the senders email Like the Reddit thing. If a player had said that out of pocket line I guarantee Emily would’ve loved it. But everyone heard “Reddit” and based their entire take on that one word Now I just laugh when it happens. I think they truly forget everything that happened last court session, its a fresh start each time

Comparing that player to the Japanese soldier who didn’t know the war ended made me laugh a lot. Also loved 22:40, Murph: “That’s actually pretty buttoned up Hurwitz.” Jake: “Thanks” Edit: also Frodo using his Aquabats ring to hide from the Skanking Wraiths 😂😂

As someone who worked in elder care it is fine to hit them back 🤷‍♀️. They shouldn't start something they can't finish

The unwanted plot armor is just about my favorite case ever ruled.

The Aquabats mention made me happy!

I’m always surprised to hear people’s perception of reddit and its users, they rly go in on the Reddit commenters in the vibes based combat. Honestly, between Tik tok, Instagram, and Reddit, Reddit has by far the least insufferable users imo. I’ve had much worse experiences on other platforms than Reddit, my brief time on reddit has been mostly positive

Are you sure you guys don't mean Dicky Barrett rather than Ben Carr? Barrett is the RFK supporter and I think him skanking at you would be much more terrifying

Sorry if you self-describe your character as a "feral himbo" I would not want to play with you

The correct way to block an elder attack is to give them a stack of towels to fold - healthcare worker

I remember the post referred to in vibes based combat, and I was part of the dressing down. I'm like 95% sure I wasn't lion guy, though I tend to be long winded and like flowery analogies, and I don't remember my comment. I feel like I remember seeing someone else's comment and thinking get a load of this guy, though. The Justices basically have the right of it IMO. It's OK to have done this as a new DM, but it's not something that's OK to be a bad habit when you're experienced so it needs to be a secret shame, not advice for new GMs.

I actually think the justices were overly harsh on Maximum Groin. I refuse to believe that Justice Axford has never, in the midst of tense death saves, tried to lighten the mood a bit with a joke about bringing in a Binky Fiasco-type backup character, and taking hits is the core fun of playing a tank; you don't need to be trying to kill your character to be frustrated by not even being targeted. The GM was extremely funny in giving the player advantage on that last death save, but by the rest of their behavior, I'm not sure it's intentional. I do think the sentencing still applies; the plaintiff's best move is to turn Maximum Groin over to the DM and assure them that it was a joke, and you won't bring them in without explicit permission.

Also when I went to see the Aquabats back in like 2011ish there was a pirate battle on stage so a beheading wouldn't be totally out of the realm

I've been a long time lover of Swan Boy but shamefully have never listened to Rude Tales. I must correct this mistake immediately!

I swear I saw ExxonMobil trying to put out good hr on TT like a year ago

Ya'll... I'm 33 years old and you KNOW I'm a card carrying AARP member 🤷🏾‍♂️. Ain't nothin' in the rule book says' a dog can't enjoy savings

vibes based combat is nothing. the DM is refereeing a game you're both playing. if they start making shit up why shouldn't you? it's calvinball either way noob dm is also depriving themself from learning

I think rage is fair if you consider it as more of a adrenaline dump type scenario

I definitely empathize with the temptation to do vibes-based combat, especially as a new DM. I am still a pretty new DM, and I'm always a little worried I'm balancing things wrong. Fully vibes-based isn't the answer, but i have made a couple slight on-the-fly fudges to make up for mistakes that *I* made in balancing. In my last session, I had a combat where my plan was to go a bit easy in the first round, then ramp up a bit in subsequent rounds after introducing another PC to the fight. But that first round was really rough for them, and only then did i realize that I had forgotten to rebalance that encounter for only 3 instead of 5 (since 2 were missing), so i just decided not to give my monsters their second attack, and maybe dropped the main one's HP just a little bit? I forget. Also the new PC was my girlfriend (now fiancé), and I didn't want her first combat in D&D to be a disaster, so I was extra motivated to not accidentally kill anyone. Lol

Havent gotten all the way through the question but I think an important note about maximum groin is the submitter said they've been playing for 20 years. Even assuming they got a young start, these players/dm are 30? Dm super justified in wanting to hold on to the one normal dude after 20 years of maximum groins

I wonder if the 70s London campaign was riffing off the Highgate vampire legend from the 70s! That would have been rad

omg LOL fucking @ whoever told me i was wrong about the duttle long rest potion-> b99 "vindication!!!!!!".gif

Back about 27ish years ago, I went to an Aquabats show at the Launchpad in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I'd worn a short sleeve white button up and black tank underneath with the intention of ditching the button up when it inevitably got too hot to wear. About halfway through the show, after a ton of sweaty dancing and screaming, I ripped off the button up and threw it forward over the crowd where it ended up on the floor. Every once in a while, I'd see it pop back up into the air, moving closer and closer to the stage. It eventually ended up on the stage where the Bat Commander grabbed it and held it up to the crowd, and then set it on fire, prompting every person in the room to lose their goddamn minds. He stomped it out before it could burn too much, and when they finished their set, he was waving it like a flag as they slipped out the back door to their tour bus. I eventually found my way back to the bus, knocked on the door and asked if I could please have my shirt back, which they somewhat reluctantly handed over. It was absolutely filthy from shoeprints, caked with general bar grime and marshmallow (flung into the crowd by the band during Magic Chicken), and with a large section burned from one side. I've never washed it, and still have it in our old shit closet upstairs somewhere. What a great night.

This new Judge has been approved. He's a Hoot. And the court is made better by his contribution of the Costanza Predicament. Lol "you get into Costanza territory if they come to you and you [start gaslighting them as if you truly did forget when you know full well they have the wondrous item in their inventory]". Do not become Constanza! Edit: I stopped back in to say he does sound uncannily like Murphy sometimes so that's fun; I honestly got blindsided twice when I thought it was Murphy talking and then there was an amazing pull that made me really laugh and i was like oh! that's not Brian. Edit::: Murph is obviously capable of great jokes! and lore pulls! but they just came out of a different wheelhouse is all. And caught me off guard. Don't razz Brian so harsh, gang!

'Basil Exorcism'

THIS IS GREAT, PLEASE HAVE MR. REESE ON AGAIN

My girlfriend crochet a lowly worm scarf that is so so so long from her own pattern (brag)

Tolkien ska-lars. Is that anything??

YOO Branson Reese!!! Hell yea shout out to freaking Rude Tales and Oh These, Those Stars of Space. Bucket of Milk, ya'll make good shit.

Nice EP but I still dont know who TF is this guest

I’d love to have lived in Post-Powers era London. Must have been Groovy, Baby

I used to work with a member of The Mighty Mighty Bosstones at Toys R Us in electronics. He worked 2 mornings a week and was there "for beer money and discounts on video games". Chill dude.

MAXIMUM GROIN!!!

Yeah Dicky Barrett is right leaning anti vaxxer :(

Honestly, I forgot I submitted my story again. What a great surprise to have my confession read and forgiven! Thank y’all

You guys need to listen to Gary Gulman’s Trader Joe’s routine to hear his account of a grocery store fight!

As far as rounds being 6 seconds of combat: I say they are… and they aren’t. I don’t imagine that the fighter literally stands stationary and takes exactly 2 swings every 6 seconds but rather he is in a more dynamic sword fight in which there are blocks, parries, acrobatics, and exchanges of words. When you “hit” it is just an indication that the fight is going in your favour. However, the 6 second rule is a necessary mechanic for the game to function. I think the rounds are just a framework in which to tell the story around. You can’t take them literally but you can’t ignore them or else the stakes are kind of meaningless. The rules support the narrative and are just a jumping off point to create what happens in your beautiful imagination.

The Lion Guy on Reddit was obviously ridiculous, but correct on the facts. If you fudge HP and do everything based on vibes, there’s literally no game. There are other systems for that style of play, but DND is pretty empty if you neuter combat like that.

Branson Reese has my heart

The crossover I’ve been dreaming of

Oh my god

Spill party baby! It was a spill party! Chill Oil spill party! La La La La!

I will always push against fudging rolls and vibes based HP.

Omg BRANSON?!?

The redditor who's talking about lions being denied the hunt is clearly putting on a comedic air in the exact same way the Supreme Crit does

I will say as much as I love DnD court, I love the community comment section just as much.

“Actually Green Day wrote that.” Did you just cut the Perfect Joke Parade you immediately threw in Emily’s honor from the final edit, or are you waiting for your city permits to clear so you can really give it the celebration it deserves?

I hate ska, but I loooooooove the Aquabats. I got excited when Murph said "aquabats", too.

I'm playing my first D&D campaign, just started last week, and I'm playing a petty Bear Totem barbarian whose damage reduction is flavored as him being so petty and narcissistic that he just emotionally doesn't accept half of all damage but psychic. He is loosely based on The Tiger King, Joe Exotic.

Lowly Worm With the Spice Eyes!

literal dream guest

I remember that thread…

Murph couldn’t even play groin’s advocate for a full 30 seconds before turning 😂

Week 12 and here I am still begging for news in a Roll Dolls release

Fun fact - you only need to be 18 or older to join AARP. Source: Im a 32 year old with an active AARP membership for discounts LOL

Re: the first case, sorry Schubert but you’re firmly in the wrong! Even the DM prime, who wanted to get back to the real campaign, feels you did it wrong which was realistically enough information to know you did wrong. This is a case of “I’m doing something douchey under the banner of noble cause”. It boils down to you skipped sessions, came back and decided to bull in china shop bc you felt it was the right move. You didn’t know enough and you didn’t like you got the reaction you elicited. I’d quote the big Lebowski, but not only were you kinda an asshole you were also firmly in the wrong too.

I think re: the first case, shubert pulled a leeroy jenkins. the punishment needs to involve chicken.

Here's what you do to old person: snatch all 100 of their 20 cent off coupons and catapult them into the shittiest scavenger hunt that shop rite has ever seen

Now I want to play Frasier as an int based passive aggressive barbarian

Your players are lions and you are refusing to let them hunt - Random Reddit Commentor 376

TIL that there are exactly two ways out of combat - TPK - Seeing a framed picture of Vanessa

I completed my CPI training last week, I know exactly what I’d do when an old person hits me

Get my ass, oh exalted ones. This is why I tried to give as much personally incriminating detail as possible. Fairness. I might still do the Dr. Cena Halloween costume. Thanks for passing this judgment!

This crossover was done for me and me specifically tysm

I hope that one day yall play the cyberpunk ttrpg after hearing yall play gangs of neo galaderon

Omg this and my hefty bowl of drugs is Crangar sent!!

I'm here for the Aquabats! talk

Emily's laugh after them reading "my players are lions and I'm refusing to let them hunt" was so good I laughed hard too hehe

WWMurphDo: If your friends didn’t get new friends when you committed mass murder, you’re good. Thanks for the great episode!

skanked to death ☠️

The powers vacuum was seriously slept on

Thank Pelor for Naddpod 🤣😂 makes me fell like my power level is over 9000!!!

Aww I must've missed the post asking for cases damn

Perfect timing for a drive and a blood donation

This and smoking a cigrette

God this week has been long, I was thinking why da helly they posting it's only Wednesday. Love Swan Boy Branson, look forward to it 💖💖💖

SWANPOD

Hell yeah Branson Reese is so great! Big Rude Tales fan over here!

Alright alright alright

Yay!!