D&D Court: Bonus Cases - Goo in the Loo

I could imagine a dragon? Say that again…

Re listening to this, and a 3 hour argument would have me leave the party. On Dungeons and Daddies Beth May had built the perfect character for this situation. (Her, the player, being bored.) When Matt and Will's characters would argue too long she would do things like roll stealth for Ron to walk away without them noticing and start talking to an NPC to force action. This group was likely doomed, but perhaps because nobody communicated clearly that this behavior was ruining everyone else's fun.

Very late, but it was never determined if the murder of the rouge by the clerics mew character is authorized 😂

They do the name thing from the first case all the time 😂

I'm going to sign cardriverman@gmail.com up for EVERYTHING.

I have a solution for the recreational/performative moral outrage situation, which I have been employing in my life for a few years to great effect! It doesn't just work at DnD tables, either. you can pull it out whenever you find yourself within the splash-zone of an archair philopher's sloshing drink with which he gestures wildly: As a black immigrant from a very poor, violent country where the nuanced and complicated interplay between morality, humanity, survival, class, race, etc etc etc is not a fun little thought experiment for well-intentioned liberal white folks to tucker themselves out before bed and is instead a daily reality with very real, often severe consequences; I’ll often just contribute to a particularly disruptive bout of recreational outrage with “hey, you know what this made-up, hypothetical reminds me of?” and then I’ll regail them with a fucked-up anecdote from my childhood… Shut’s them shits down real quick! For context, my career places me in the company of A LOT of nepotistic white millonaires who only know about black people from the movies, so, you know ya boi is a constant conduit for folks to practise some good ol’ fashioned, performative, pretenzies, vwoke-talkin’ … Today a 78-year-old executive accidentally refered to someone as “colored”, and then he corrected himself by saying “colored-American” which… actually made me and the person who was referring to share a full-tilt cackle in the uncomfortable silence 😂 So. i guess what I’m saying is: invite more traumatized-brown people to your tables! We have the most fun!

I’m proud of Caldwell. It took a lot of restraint to not mention that silly rubber pirate when the discussion about the stretchiest character happened.

https://youtube.com/shorts/s_NM1-Koy8g?si=mrZkESoroiahVEDO

So… we’re all using Caldwell’s spam email now, right?

Hey where’s the new EPISODE

Hate to be that guy, but ice wine (Eiswine) is a real thing. It’s a style of dessert wine that is made in cool climates. The grapes have to be frozen on the vine for 3 days and then are harvested and create a very sweet, rich and age able wine

Do you guys think someone could survive a fall into an olympic-sized pool filled with dwarf-sized croissants?

Thank you for absolving the baby! In all of this, he is only guilty of compulsive chewing and lacking fine motor control. I've informed the devil in disguise I once called a player and friend that they owe me exotic incense or at least an air freshener. Thanks again!

Drowncula is finished https://www.reddit.com/r/NotAnotherDnDPodcast/comments/1s43mct/ns_drowncula_book_snail_punishment/

African pigeons or European pigeons?

"Oh whats this in their pocket? Just some evil" I've been binging D&D Court and as a never DM and never player, the Justices needs to make a player and DM oath. "I vow to never argue for 3 hours and consider the feeling and time of my fellow players." Something like that lol

Is it Jello? https://www.tumblr.com/sometiktoksarevalid/811376737234632704

Cant believe the pigeon dwarf case is even a question. Dnd just has rules printed in the book. A creature can carry their strength score x 15. So even at 1 strength, each pigeon can carry 15 lbs. 12 pigeons can carry 180 lbs. they mightve even been able to carry 2 or 3 party members across at once depending on everyones size

When I was 3 or 4 some neighborhood kids chucked a Stretch Armstrong into the street where it got run over, mangled, and spilled its red jelly everywhere and from that day on I thought those fuckers were alive, and that I saw one get murdered.

Love the idea of grappling a dragons mouth shut but wouldn’t it be so cool to instead of nullifying the breath weapon it just changes it from a cone to a line as it comes out of their nostrils instead. Taking this big AOE into something more restrained but still deadly!

Some of these cases are legit starting to sound like they're AI-generated

I can’t wait for the next surprise round when the listener suggestions will undoubtedly give Car Driverman the deep seated lore that he so desperately needs and deserves.

Needs more dog baptism

Jakenscence and Murph anybody

yeah the baby is in the clear, you don’t roll stats with a d20

Welcome to the Nightmareverse Stretch Armstrong and his dog

At 26:00 a hint to an “Enter the Gungeon” one shot??! CONFIRMED?!

Shout out to the other misophonia homies who also ripped their headphones off the moment the burps started

Love hearing “Cool it” from the guy who yelled “You ruined the campaign” about Jake’s beans

Goocoon feels like it should be in the urban dictionary. Thankfully it’s not.

100% thought stretch armstrong was a wrestler for a good amount of that conversation (until the goo insides)

I’ve had ice wine in Canada, made from frozen grapes. Very sweet and lovely.

akarot’s vest is still one of my favorite fucking bits i’ve ever heard out of yall 💀 i think i passed out from laughing so hard

Are we talking about the carry weight of birds? This is Monty Python type stuff lol

Welcome to the court, Brian Spillphy!

If I remember correctly, that Stretch Armstrong goo stank as well, so that's gonna start more arguments in that apartment

I’ve been a game where the other 2 players never made a single decision, one not caring and the other so worried that any decision she made would result in a negative consequence. So I relate to the guy who fireballed after 3 hours of fighting a LOT. I would have done that at the 30 min mark.

First

If you really need to keep players from making fun of a character name is just to either give them a familiar name, refer to them with a title or a name thats just a real word instead of a bunch of fantasy syllables. Everyone doesnt have to be Ellnwar they can be like Risk or The Emissary or Lord Henry or something. Game of Thrones just uses english names and changes one letter lol

Another way of dealing with the silly nickname problem is to preempt your players by giving your npcs dumb names to begin with. then play it out humourlessly Players, meet your next BBEG, the Great Count Piss Piss of Shart!

I love em, but these people disgust me sometimes

Ha, I got the same dice for my son when he was born. I did notice the numbering wasn't distributed correctly before I put any stock on the rolls though. :) Shame on whatever company makes these!

I feel like pendegreens is a perfect example of emily forgetting and the new name she used just got adopted

No Pyotr —> Petri mention in the "silly names" segment! Put some respect on that man's not-name!

To address the grappling a dragon's mouth shut question: 3.5's convoluted grappling rules actually had the solution. If I were grappling a wizard, we would roll opposing STR checks and I could pin his arm or cover his mouth to prevent them from casting a spell. Size permitting, the same would apply to dragon's breath. However 5e's pin mechanic is tied to the Grappler feat which states that both the grappler and the grappler are simply restrained. Flavor is free. Let your players restrain a dragon's mouth.

Emily - you’re right that ice wine is a real thing, and you’ve heard of it because they make a lot of it in Buffalo/Niagara/Erie - it’s very sweet, harvested from frozen grapes.

Cald, Jakeincense and Myrrph. Go on.

I very recently went to Ine, Kyoto and took the Fisherman’s boat tour where you buy shrimp snacks and hold them up. The seagulls and hawks flock like a swarm of bees; the seagulls also land on your head and wait patiently for you to feed them. Thankfully I’m not scared of birds so getting sliced by hawk talons was fun, but fair warning if anyone has the opportunity.

“Cardriverman@gmail.com” is the most Kojima-coded bullshit

What if the pigeons just carry the gnome by their husk?

The idea with ice wine is they harvest late after some water in the grapes has begun to freeze out, increasing the residual sugar concentration majorly and resulting in super sweet dessert wines. Canada makes a bunch. They come in super thin bottles and are very fun.

Caldwell, if you want to give out your Gmail, ask your friends to add a ‘+theirname’ so they have their own separate folder AND if you guys sign up for the same thing; the system will recognize it as a new email

I’m high as hell and the mouth sounds intro was actual hell lmao

Eis wein (Ice wine) is a German Wine something to do with Grapes in a cold snap before they are made into wine

How are they against misnaming NPC's. I object! The court has lost it's authority!

I love that Akarot’s little vest lives in infamy, all these years later

As far as I know tiny creatures have half the carrying capacity of Medium and Small creature (15 lbs/STR, so tiny creatures get 7.5/STR) Pigeon referenced has 2 STR, so 12 pigeons * 2 STR * 7.5 = 180 lbs cumulative carrying capacity for the flock. Idk how much the gnome weighed, so idk if this was RAW or naw

Sometimes i wonder if the generous reads are a bit or if im just too literal to get it 😭 there's no way yall genuinely think the name change people are just bad with names, right?

I have formally decided to start shouting “this is terrible content!” in meetings. Thank you, Emily. I know I will find this delightful.

When my friend was a kid his mom couldn't help herself and cut open his Stretch Armstrong to see what was in it.

With a title like that I’m gonna goo in my own loo too

Are we just gonna forget pigeon man from hey Arnold. Proof that it can happen.

Caranddriverman@gmail.com

Ice wine is a real thing, made with grapes that freeze on the vine. The freezing concentrates the grape juices making them very, very sweet, and the resulting wine is super sweet and super expensive

Came for more court, stayed for the burps.

Ice wine is made from grapes that have frozen on the vine, concentrating the sugars and making a sweet dessert wine. You can also get late harvest wines that are harvested after they've experienced a specific low temperature, which makes a less syrupy wine

Sometimes it’s just the titles that make me already crack up

Pigeons have a strength score of 2 and are tiny creatures so they can each carry 15 lbs by dnd rules

Still not seeing any snails...

Im sweating with all the burpees out here

Starting strong with burps, love the vibe already

I can’t believe how heavily they weighed in on the Warner Bros acquisition

tread so carefully we don't want a gleave on mic

SNL spinoff: Goo in the Lou

A sinister title

Refreshed at the perfect time!