D&D Court: Husband Gloves, Drowncula, and DM Mojo

Fiddlehead ferns when jake calls them a fickleleaf fig 🌱🗿

I also like Hades better.

Anyone who’s that shit at running a one-shot has 0 business writing a book, and I desperately want to read his train wreck once he’s done. Also having nearly killed several fiddle figs, Jake, you’re right and the rest of the world is wrong. They should be nicknamed “fickle leaf figs”

The underwater vampires should also have the ability to stop time 🤔

Dang, Snail, you got a lot heat in this one

Aw Jackson H, I was counting on your victory. I guess I’m not mad, just disappointed. (Please don’t join snail racing) But on the bright side, snail is a pretty badass nickname. “Ayo wussup snail! How u doin’.”yeahhhhhhh thats got a ring to it. Do you own a pet snail? You should get one and name it jackson. Haha thats a pretty good one am I right? Well there is a very small chance you see this so I guess its time to admit i accidentally stepped on a snail when I was 6. Dice christ please forgive my sins. Wait now that i think about it snail isnt as good as I thought for this generation, cuz of the negative connotation to being “slow”. Im against thats stuff tho, its not very nice. You seem like a sensible guy tho, other then the fact you said “FUCK” as a reply to like a lot of people. But it was for humor so its alright. Ur book is really cool too. I read it and it made me laugh. Hahahaha VanBoomer Pooh that one was funny. Well snail a good day have. Aw shit-

My dm, who has several years - even decades - more dnd experience than I, tried to tell me that expertise didn't double the proficiency bonus. He asked about my modifier after learning the passive perception for my my tabaxi rogue was 23, and he discovered I was adding 13 to perception and stealth. The group has three members that follow RAW to the T (including the DM), and we spent waaaay too much time looking it up only to discover that I was, in fact, correct. Funny how sometimes dms only care when they don't want you to roll high!

THE DM’S BOOK!?!? THE DM’S BOOK!?!?

the games conversation was very apropos for me, because I am playing Final Fantasy VII for the first time and it's gorgeous and I love it. HOWEVER, sometimes I have to take a little break and play this terrible fishing game that isn't fun or interesting and I don't even like, but it gives me something to do whilst get my podcasts in 🤷🏾‍♂️

I little late but shoutout to Caldwell for the Final Fantasy Tactics Advance! That game is awesome!

Step aside Marlon Wayans NADDPOD has a new Snails!

RIP Jackson H

If that wedding story is real the potential husband needs to be alone for awhile so they learn to be a better person.

Given context for the Drowncula question, we would like to respectfully request a Hot Boy Summer arc that takes place at Carl's wedding. Are we fighting over who gets to be the best man? Are we very confused that mysteriously we haven't received our invitations to the wedding so *obviously* something has gone terribly wrong?

OMGS I can’t believe they are talking about pass the pigs. That it THE game of family gatherings for me 🤣

DROWNCULA NOVEL PUNISHMENT IS FINISHED: 🧛‍♀️🦇🌊 https://www.reddit.com/r/NotAnotherDnDPodcast/comments/1s43mct/ns_drowncula_book_snail_punishment/ (Scallion Pancake Tattoo punishment is in the works)

I just love that Caldwell is on the Boktai train... I thought I was the only one in the world

Update on Drowncula novel: it's now the world's worst and shortest children's book because I'm slow and have a job - but there's illustrations (they are bad) will figure out how to post here once it's done 🐌

I got to stick up for vampire emerging from the ocean. There is a Webtoon comic called Isabela (art style is amazing) to me the way they had the vampire come out of the ocean was sick af. He was giving Dio Brando 💅🏻

I forget which one has it so I’ll post in both. Is it Jelllo? https://www.tumblr.com/sometiktoksarevalid/811376737234632704

I just can't comprehend how the ocean isn't running water there's not a single spot of it that isn't in constant motion how can't that be considered running water

Murf is right! Ocean currents!

My dad has been called Shark/Sharkie by my mom's side of the family for the last 3+ decades because he named his character Sharkie on PGA Tour for Sega Genesis. Pretty similar to the Snail situation

🐌🐌🐌 THANKS FOR BELIEVING IN ME EVERYONE - I WAS ONLY 3 DAYS LATE (DM called me on her drive home and told me to listen ASAP) I'll accept my punishment and work on Drowncula 🗒️🖍️ 🤝🦇🌊

I’m late, but I’m screaming OCEAN CURRENTS while they debate whether the ocean counts as running water! Also, fun fact from a language nerd: the were part of werewolf is the Old English word for man. So a tabaxi-wolf hybrid could be cattwolf or something.

FUCK 🐌

Pass the Pigs freaking SLAPS. I remember all the names and point values after all these years. The double leaning jowler was ever elusive.

Caldwell's Boktai callout knocked me on my fucking ass, crazy work

I call them fickle leaf figs, it's totally a thing 🌿

Re: blapple / shagadelic scheduling — Emily is very on point with it being way easier to commit to a movie than a campaign night. We have a very roleplay heavy political intrigue type game with 7 players that meets in-person on a roughly biweekly schedule since September last year. We absolutely love it, but it's not always easy for 30-somethings with careers to get up the effort to go! My partner calls it a "Type II Fun" activity — where you put in effort to get the fun reward. Absolutely not as easy as vegging out to a movie, but way worth it when we all make it!

Jake was thinking of “Finicky-leaf fig” which is the nickname of the fiddle leaf fig

My best friend once broke a tooth on a scallion pancake. It was freshly made too idk how she did it. Anyway today I learned I made a grave error not calling her scallion pancake from them on.

cannot believe that ‘Drowncula’ was said without any indication of a ‘Dampire/Dampyre’ (damp vampire). Apologies if it’s mentioned in the short rest or comments…

He almost accidentally invented Dread Delusion

Quick of mice and men reference up top

Twilight proved vampires and go in the ocean

First! 🥇🏆

‘period for men’ 🤣

I never thought I'd hear a Boktai reference again in my life. That joke was for me, Caldwell. Thank you

I just know in 6 weeks Snail will finally comment

The fact that Caldwell didn’t mention Dio Brando once re vampire walking out of the ocean, really makes me question his brand 😂

God I really hate the term husband glove so much

🐌🐌🐌🐌 slow ass

Husband gloves is one of the most unhinged out of nowhere inventions they've ever come up with

Did Jake record the shout outs to the council of elders with Hard-one's solo cup?

Combining the pirates of the Caribbean ocean skeleton walk with the twilight baseball scene would be the best thing ever. Super massive black hole playing in the background.. that opening scene would rock

As an Australian the Snail story is so extremely Aussie and I will not be elaborating.

I saw a British adaptation of Dracula that ended its second act with Dracula dramatically walking out of the ocean. I wonder if that's what the DM "borrowed" it from.

First

Austin Powers has such a firm grasp on the NaadPodverse that Caldwell, Emily and Jake all subconsciously agreed with the president in the spy who shagged me that blowing up the moon is the best course of action. . . 35 minutes before Austin Powers is directly mentioned by a submitter.

I couldn’t stop hearing “Mulder” instead of mulled earth and kept picturing Agent Mulder trying to grapple a guy about to turn into a werewolf.

Anytime you guys record in the same room the energy is so much fun it feels like campaign one again

I'd rather play 'Not Another RPG: The Search for the Chronocruxes' instead of Wordle.

insane dungeon crawler carl name drop from Caldwell, didn't expect that

While some might criticize the audio quality of jake's reading of the pateona at the end, I just want to thank him for his commitment to getting it done despite clearly being aboard a flight and having to record in the airplane bathroom ✈️ 🚽 ❤️

I doubt the 2 Crew will read this but as someone who is writing a book on a vampire — yeah you guys are 1000% correct. It’s one thing to want to play test your own RPG and tell the players that beforehand. This situation? No. It’s a completely rude, weird, impolite, bizarre and control-freaky and I’m being as polite as I can be while trying not to be a Ryan Murphy. Now if this person decides to world build their own vampire world building work (like me) that is their business. They can have their vampire come from the sea (I prefer the shrooms) but they cannot be using the D&D material in their book. I hope OP gets credit and that you find a new best friend who wants to play D&D and won’t insta kill your other D&D friend.

Rip my boy Snail, he'll be the greatest water vampire author this world has ever seen.

Pass the Pig is goated; what a deep cut thoigh

RIP Snail. Didn't make it in time to say first 🥲

It’s funny to hear Jake making fun of Boktai at the beginning of the episode and then everyone else making fun of Wordle at the end of the episode. A real “who’s the real nerd” moment.

Actually shot water out of my nose at “Derek your up, but tread carefully “

Snails, we better get the fastest written Drowncula novella ever written. Looking forward to seeing it on a mixed bag.

The book is Twilight bc those vamps are in the ocean/on the ocean floor

I just wanted to tell you guys, my actual legal name is Austin Powers. I was born in 1992, before the movies. I've embraced the jokes by now, so hope you guys get a good laugh out of it!

Snail plz we believe in you

Still no snail? You really are slow as hell 🐌

Wow this comment thread is just inane trash because of how it is organized, it's like we're all yelling into the ether. Why does Patreon make it this shitty? It feels intentional.

Where should I go for the best apizza in New Haven?

Fiddle leaf figs are SO EASY to take care of. Famously, I sold them for like 10 years.

I was so stoked to hear you guys mention Pass the Pigs!! We always used to play it at my grandmas house, and a few years ago I randomly found a srt at a small gift store and had to get myself one.

Commander Zhao Caldwell over here with that moon plan

I love pass the pig!!! We call it tossing hog

1:04:31 Missed an edit there. 😅

I just found out that Griffin McElroy wrote a Choose Your Own Adventure book called The Stowaway. The universe demands an 8-Bit Book Club. Maybe they can invite Jake on as a guest so the whole crew can be there! Wishful thinking on my part, but fingers are crossed he'll be on one soon!

Damn Snail. Get good

Did Jackson make it?

My favorite submissions to these are “am i wrong for [something reasonable] or were they wrong for [psychotic/toxic behavior]?”

Tooouch Hands!!

oceans count as running water!! oceans aren't still water!!! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN OCEAN BEFORE CALDWELL

Was the CollegeHumor sketch about taking too long to order food about Caldwell?!?!

Did Murph just announce a thirteen book series about Bean Rat??

Caldwell coming down really firm in the "ocean currents don't exist" camp

I have to share here bc I got excited but I was watching one of my favorite cooking youtubers and she was wearing a Gladeholm hoodie! it turns out her fiancé is a big NADDPOD fan. It was so unexpected I had to pause out of confusion 😂

Can't wait for GONG (Gangs Of Neo-Galaderan)

MOJO CHOP add a dSEX of seduction damage and add your charisma modifier. YEAH baby yeah!

I came here to see Snail victorious

Ok but do the Council of Elders shout outs at the end sound like Jake recorded them underwater like some kind of Drowncula to anyone else?

RIP Snails (from the D&D movie)

hiiiiiiii

My favorite oceanography podcast

Dm author one is the most “reddit fake story” ass case I’ve ever heard

One of my favorite "rewarding the high persuasion" rolls I did while still having combat was having it pay out by having the big bad tell the high cha warlock "I'll kill you last" for her 29 persuasion. It was meaningful because she was very squishy and it would have been easy to kill her, but now she had assurance *she* wouldn't be attacked.

This honestly wasnt the first time the DM author was a problem as a few months before this in the campaign i was running for some players he sent me notes on what the bbeg should say to his character to align with his book in excruciating detail. Glad to no longer be friends but i do kinda wanna see the Drowncula book ripoff he will eventually create

sometimes it feels like murph bullies Caldwell in a way not unlike someone who has been told to hang out with their brother who is 10 years younger than them

Huge L for Snail

My first Wordle guess is always AUDIO because it contains all the vowels but the "sometimes Y." I meant to say it's a five letter word with almost every vowel. I made this comment before the caffeine hit the bloodstream. Thanks Kali.

Caldwell you goofball! The ocean is moving! It has currents! There is a reason there are whole plots with vampires on boats

WHERE YOU AT SNAIL

Anyone else run to the comments after snail

as a primary online player, because its hard to find actual decent players from my recent area, we do not do other things when were on a session, we commit and find funny memes to throw in chat while navigating through emaps. its hard work.

The husband glove thing makes me think of Of Mice and Men because it's a plot point that Curly wears a glove filled with lotion so his hands are soft for his wife, and I'm impressed by how literary this podcast is frankly

As somewhat who works in the indoor plan industry, I’m gonna start using fickle-leaf fig cause it’s accurate as hell

Also vampire in space already done in blindsight (great book btw)

Sorry Uncle Snail. 🙏😔 but also, consider a slight nickname pivot to one of the greatest fictional characters of all time - and become Uncle Snails

Pass the Pigs getting a plug! Love this game in a bar. We play loser has to take a shot of Malort!

As a husband with calloused hand those gloves sound great!

Rip snail

guys. VamPirates. it was RIGHT there.

The vampire discourse reminds me of that Vampireapoplogist post. I feel like Emily would appreciate the vision, even though it’s based on other vamp lore. https://thebibliomancer.tumblr.com/post/692748684437438464/vampireapologist-wuackamole/amp

I’m sure someone else has said this but, for the love of all that is holy, get husband gloves in the merch store!

I fully acknowledge that DMing is hard.

The underwater vampire just reminded me of DIO too much. Maybe he saw the start of Stardust Crusaders and thought it was the best thing ever.

RIP Snail

The wedding question reads like a bad chatgpt answer to a buzzword filled dungeon court prompt (one shot, killing a player, partner/ fiancé, disproportionate reaction, writing a book)

The ocean is 100% running water. It has famously swift currents. How could an animation nerd like caldwell forget about a turtle named crush surfing the eastern Australian current. Take a lap lol.

Tame cases this ep; I missed the spice

Pass The Pigs! Great pub game, always creates a fun spectator environment

Master Roshi blew up the moon first to stop Goku's transformation. Motion to change the name to "Master Roshi Style."

As it came about from an Australian submission, that fickle leaf fig roll of 6 is going to double as a herb check roll - so congratulations team, that is another 2 red herbs!

After listening to this and remembering Strahd Stories, makes me think we should have a sort of D&D court flip where listeners can share awesome moments from their campaigns that they enjoyed

To all the Honored Judges and Jork, when doing Wordle just use the (oddly admissible) starter word ADIEU and that will help reveal vowels.

There is a ya book series I never read myself called Vampirates, I must assume they sail the seven seas while vampires?

I used to use "Sword" as my starting word for a long time, until last year where the word was Sword. Now I use "Ghast" because I need me a fantasy theme

lowkey, get fcked snail

these in person razzes just hit different 👌😌

🐌🐌🐌

Snail for life

I listened to this immediately after watching the Steel Ball Run premiere, so the underwater vampire talk filled my brain with DIO memes 🫠

I do see things for fiddle -leaf figs, which feels like only a tiny l for the baliif

sorry snail

I was rooting for you snail

Imagine being snail and showing up to see exactly how rightful this razz was. 🐌 🐌 🐌

Any snail sightings?

Rip snail

Is there a sign up sheet for more content centered around Boktai: The Sun is in Your Hand?

Happy to take a break from my Skaldova re-listen to hear some Dungeon Court

Spoilers for Four Roads Cross, by Max Gladstone, but that's got underwater vampires in it and it's cool as hell.

Snooze ya lose 🐌

The snail sticks, I guess

It came out at like 1pm in Sydney, snail, come on!

No snail

DUN DUN

Fun fact: some researchers think that vampire mythology was based on cases of rabies outbreaks, which is why they’re unable to cross running water, have aversions to strong smells (like garlic), and bite people.

Snail also took such a long time to write in about this if it's been years and they have tattoos and there's a baby that's now talking... So I think it's a rightful razz

The wedding question was definitely fake right? Learn to tell realistic lies people!

C'mon snail where you at 🐌

snail seems to have left a trail

rough time for snails

Houseplant Girlie Pop here: “Fickle Leaf Fig” IS a thing!!! Vindication for Bailiff

first

rip snail

oh no. snail, we did a bit about the letter s. i’m sorry.

RIP snail, if only you were quicker

Snail where you at

Where you at Jackson!

Poor Snail…you snooze you lose brother So shocked no one made a Snails (og D&D movie) reference! That’s growth.

I’m so sorry snail. Your fate is set in stone.

It's always better when they can touch.

Woah early

yessss