D&D Court: Bonus Cases - Unmovable Grandmas and Pissing Paladins

Grandma cases make me want to have kids in the hopes I could be a grandma one day. I don't like or want kids. I'm not even a woman. But I feel the call of the cheeky grandma trolling

i would say you absolutely do 1hp of damage when you kick a ball... thats why a ball gets wear and tear over time lmao kick a ball 100 times and tell me it looks the same as before

anybody who is an atheist in a game where there are literal Gods amongst men HAS to be an insufferable reddit atheist... there is no exception to this rule lmao

Idk, I looked it up and could not find where unarmed strikes deal a minimum of 1 damage. If the character has at least a -1 modifier for strength, the rat would take 0 damage, leaving it still at 1 hp and unchanged.

In a more spy-type game, I think it’s more okay to have secrets. Although, in my blades in the dark game (which is what they probably played), we had a ton of fun planning and optimizing our downtimes together.

Also; I do mini one on one backstory moments with my players, at the table, with everyone else there. They love it, and it has not once "split" the mindset or focus of the group. I usually only do one characters per session, and not at every session.

I believe the term is misotheism, or a hatred of god. Although, misotheism doesn't deny that god exists, just that the person hates it, and possibly believes the deity to be evil like dystheism. Anti-theist is probably closest. But you CAN be atheist in d&d; you just treat the gods like powerful creatures instead of gods. Done and done.

"If you lived through the Great Depression you can do whatever you want" ......Who's going to tell them that there are plenty of grandmas who were born in the 70s? (And grandmas old enough to have GMing grandkids were born in the 50s)

I feel, they greatly over estimate what the downtime session are. It was said to be 20 to 30 minutes? I'd think that more like "boring stuff" I play a wizard I want spells I want to go to book stores or something to find spells to copy, my other players wouldn't and be so bored doing watching me do that.

I don't usually comment on these things but I think in the case of the downtime DM the gang might have overanalyzed their way into a decision forgetting the original premise which happens every now and then. The assertion became that the DM was creating disconnect within the group with these offline 1 on 1's with the implication that the DM was running them often. The original submission said the campaign includes "chunks of downtime between BIGGER events" where these 1 on 1's take place. That could be as infrequent as once every 5 - 10 sessions or possibly even more, in which case I think the level of "disconnect" with the players would be minimal if not non-existent. Which then highlights why the concern was DM's concern was with the players initiating their own 1 on 1's seemingly OUTSIDE of this regulated time or perhaps frequently on their own schedule. Even if it's just for flavour as mentioned, THAT would be the thing that would cause the disconnect in the party, not the DM's initiative for player agency. I think I felt sorry for the DM with them ruling against them based on the idea that they disconnected their group which I don't think they had done at all. Anyway, loved the show still, just wanted to add my 2 cents. Cheers!

Now hear me out ok just hear me put judges i hate to be this guy but in rogues defense….. you guys do like randomly cum and fuck with shit a lot 😂 jens juggles knives to cover testicle. Now i love these things but maybe the rogue (who doesn’t understand atheism) just thought it was funny. Yal are the best please spare my judgement 😂😂 i am a simple member of the jury

I feel like calling the player's character an atheist might just be the submitter pulling from the words they're familiar with

Piss cup guy should have gotten the divine punishment of an Indiana Jones Villain. Like picking the wrong cup when choosing the holy grail or something

Giving blasting grandma vibes

😐 me hearing yet another Jafar joke

caldwell is there to represent my niche: haikyuu and persona games

It's ACKSHULLY Persona FOUR Golden and Persona FIVE Royal.

Should have just thrown the rat tbh

The submitter didn’t mention what the dm did during the rogue pissing in the cup thing. My thought process was that the dm just said “ok” and then moved on when the rogue said he pissed in the cup. And I can’t think of anything more damning than that to a joke made at the table. Not laughing, not reacting, just moving on.

I think the private sessions case probably also exists for practical scheduling reasons

Thank u Mr brurph

Rat kick in 2024 rules an unarmed strike has three options, only one of which deals damage. In 2024 they could attempt a shove without damage

Emily’s not like other girls. she has over 1,000 bones

I like how aghast Murph is at the dude who pissed in the cup when he had his character take a dump in the BBEGs secret chest of relics in Skaldova like 5 weeks ago lol.

Omg Murph describing the Trinyvale triplets as the ‘worst characters possible for that situation’ made me realise that Trinyvale is DnD Always sunny in Philadelphia 😂 terrible characters being funny in terrible ways

“I think I have more than a thousand bones” Emily Axford

So in terms of the private dnd sessions, we run a channel on discord called “In Game Chat” Essentially it’s written RP in between sessions assuming they’re at a spot where they bc an comfortably role play, but it’s all written so I (the DM) and the other players can see the interaction. I find it really drives character development and also lets people also do stuff outside of our sessions. Weird to make it like, private tho. Not weird maybe just exclusive and unnecessary

They are right a our the damage thing if you have +1 strength then that’s minimum damage to unarmed strike ( which is what a kick is)

"Water into wine, piss into healing" is a great chest tattoo

The "atheist" feels like an anti-theist (player and character) and their character (presumably in a world with multiple gods whose presence cant be doubted) is irreligious not atheist. Like gods obviously exist in this world and the character ideally wouldnt believe in deference to them LIKE DEADEYE CYBIN!!! But they've played them like an anti-theist from our world

2 HOURS! They had 2 hours and they didn't show off their character once?! Lol there's more to it

Bursting out of my chrysalis to tell Caldwell that the expanded edition of Persona 5 is called “Persona 5 Royal” and that Golden is for Persona 4

As a brand new grandma I am so pleased to learn that grandmas are allowed to troll.

Me, bracing myself for the Jafar dilemmas next Surprise Round episode

Something tells me we will be seeing jafar in the next surprise round

The rat kicker could have just grappled the rat and thrown it, yes it would change back but it would be after it's a distance away, then you can move

In this lamp, rats ride loose (with Jafar)

binky fiasco is waiting to burst out of emily's body

We need to start getting ages of grandmas. Not all grandmas are little old ladies. 40 year old can be grandmas. Just saying

It feels like the rat kicker just needed a "case" to type in to D&D court, and didn't have a more real grievance available.

"greetings yon judges"<- found the Dark Tower fan

i hope caldwell knows that every time he talks about persona i feel seen, LET HIM SPEAK!! XD

Uhm, actually, it’s Royal.

That cowboy steam punk game: dnd is at it's peak when friends get together and are equally invested into the game/ story. I could see a 30min mini session being fun (when rare and special), as long as the players share their growth/experience with the team. As long as it's building the group's story as well.

As someone who used to work at my university’s library, that confession was so funny. Sounds like yall need an aggressive bell to ring for progressively longer 30min to closing, 10 min to closing and 5 min to closing-that’s what we did and it worked quite well lol

It's the Hoglidays in July!

Murph is throwing a lot of heat for someone who had his character shit on the floor.

LET CALDWELL SPEAK ABOUT ALTUS GAMES 2025

fun fact: atheism is an option in pathfinder character creation since you normally have to pick a favored god, and is basically the theological equivalent of being an anarchist. they're a person who obviously knows the gods are literally real but rejects their authority/superiority. It sounds like that's what this guy was going for but he did it in the most annoying way possible.

I can’t believe that Caldwell called persona five Royale persona five golden when that is persona four gold. It’s like he doesn’t even know the game at all.

I don't think 5e has a minimum damage rule https://rpg.stackexchange.com/a/73525

Um actually Caldwell, it’s Persona 5 Royal. Golden is an updated version of Persona 4 (sorry, I had to say something)

Couldn't the punt count as a shove attack, which does no damage?

I would like to add to the giant rat case, if the sorcerer had said ANYTHING but kick I wouldn't have had the rat turn back into a Giant

I love any case that involves a grandma. My grandma never played D&D but I bet she would have enjoyed it and would have trolled me. She was known to actively cheat during family game night.

Was that 'atheist' played by Kevin Sorbo? Also, the term is 'apostate'.

I’m truly unsure if there is anything more annoying than the idea of a Reddit atheist being allowed to create their own character in a CANONICALLY MAGICAL world full of CANONICAL GODS. It reads like that situation was just so that person could act out their shitty terminally online atheist impulses for a captive audience.

Easily dropped some serious quaterage playing House of the Dead at the arcade in the 90’s. Loved that game so hard. Let the bodies hit the floor, y’all.

omg emily is schooling people on religion im so locked in!!

When I am in my 70s, I hope Emily is recording D&D podcasts as a granny and I get to listen to her troll all of the youngins

Caldwell mixing up P5: Royal with P4 Golden 🙂‍↔️

Dropped just in time for the dog's afternoon walk. Ember and I thank you.

Yippee! I can be productive now!

Wooooo

Huzzah!

Yes! Saved from a boring work friday!

Nice!!!!!

Right as I opened the app to check!