D&D Court: Monkey Paws and Ballin' DMs

Murph you're thinking of Atrus's shit father Gehn, Atrus was OK just the generations on either side of him were a super mess (his grandma was OK too although she did accidentally destroy a civilization) Edit: nvm Caldwell's got you covered

Jake "Union Buster" Hurwitz

Wow really missed opportunity to drop a Ball/Peen hammer joke

s/o beetlemoses - they always hit

9:04 murph says 6-7!!! Wow crazy

basketball guy is learning how sports people only respect sports lmao

I LIVE for the 8BBC throwbacks. I’d love it if they sold merch lol

“I would’ve run it different” “Ok so let’s see it” then make them the DM and then you and the rest of the party proceed to railroad the everloving hell out of them until they see the error of their ways. Let the punishment fit the crime

Basketball case is sooo High School Musical coded.

Wow Emily impresses again with her articulation and generosity. I would read exactly what she said for the last case.

I'll admit I relisten to 8 bit bookclub on spotify every so often when I need a pick-me-up

I have never played or read Myst but did remember Gen (pronounced by Emily as Jenn) and Atrus and the dead cat and grandma Ana and yall riven for mist because my brain hard drive was reset to ONLY remember every episode of 8BBC thank you and goodnight

Agree with Emily. A monkeys paw shouldn’t be “your wish is granted but you die!” That’s not fun or interesting for anybody

beetlemoses?? Caldwell knows ball fr

Generous read on the Wasted Wish: the Wish spell says that if you use it for anything other than reproducing 8th level or lower spells, each time you cast a spell before your next long rest, you take 1d10 damage per level of spell. That means it's 18d10 damage in short succession for the second and third castings, for total 99 damage on average. Depending on level, that easily could kill a character above board. However, the DM didn't say that, and healing could've prevented the death, and the high/low percentile rolls are still unaccounted for

Not sure why Murph would wear a pillow case instead of a sleeping bag, but hey, to each their own.

I wanted to make fun of murph for saying these basketball playing kids are into halo, then i realized im 23 and love halo so i cant super judge

As an elderly man of 46, I am thoroughly amused to hear that Murph is aware of Parappa the Rappa.

Hi, once again I will recommend minion rules from Flee Mortals (MCDM) if you want to run battles with a bunch of lil guys. They also allow your players to have fun with the fantasy of dropping a bunch of, like, skeletons or something, with a spell or a swing.

All I could think about was the Jafar Hot Wheels I had as a kid pulling up in the parking garage

When Caldwell said Cucky Kong I almost dropped weights on myself

I gotta disagree with the justices on the summoning question, only because if the DM sets up a house rule and everyone agrees to it (regardless of if it's a module or a home game) it feels pretty petty to ask to switch spells in the middle of combat just because you're annoyed at the DM for having a lot of monsters when you'd already agreed to the house rule. Like it sucks losing NPCs but sometimes the players have to fail and the poster doesn't even say what the end result of that combat was.

ive aladdined you from jafar

I gotta rule against the summoning druid; if the summoning spell was already banned, why the hell did you prepare it that day. If you didn't prepare it that day then you couldn't have cast it anyway, and we must dismiss the case.

Southern Indiana mention what’s up!!!!! Kyle my dude, I’m so sorry. If you’re looking for a game in the SoIN area, friendly nerds are out here, and we don’t discriminate against basketball players!

I really love how earnest everyone is about the kid with DnD. We were all there once ☺️

Lateral pitch for Emily's "be a basketball team" suggestion! Over on World Beyond Number, we got Space Cram - DM'd by Aabria Iyengar - an entirely basketball themed tabletop game. Inspiration! Friendship! Alternate systems that aren't as crunchy (aka: gateway drugs)! Shenanigans!

“That’s a good name for a bad book” is such a good line

Whenever I'm prepping big ad fights, I let my players roll the number, it's on them lol

At 29:42 Caldwell says “Oh Hyuk” what do we think he spilled?

The player that wanted to conjure woodland creatures when their DM had a rule against summons: why did they have it prepared?

PROTECT 8-BIT BOOK CLUB

I had a laugh at Emily's suggestion for a PC for the basketball guy. I'm 6'5 and fairly athletic and I play a fairy rogue/sorcerer who is so small and quiet he can only communicate via telepathy.

I love beetlemoses !!! So happy to see a mention of them

Genuinely thank you for the solid as fuck advice, meant for Tall Cool Basketball Player DM, and the rest of us humble home dm’s and wannabes

One of my favorite things to watch as a child was “Mickey’s House of Villains” a special episode of house of mouse where the villains took over, including Jafar. I don’t think he was dressed as strahd but I’m probably misremembering

I’ve never heard anything louder than the silence after Caldwell’s Myst joke

"It was on my network?" Jake the Business Bro kills me every time

Don't worry Caldwell I also have an archive of 8-Bit Book Club lore taking up valuable space in my brain. I guess at least it means Gex's crimes during his time in the Wehrmacht haven't been forgotten

taking dm advice notes 👀👀

There IS a House of Mouse halloween episode, it's when the villains take over the club

For the no summon DM, I think a cool option for a fight that large that’s killing so many NPC’s, have players do an insight check. On a success they know they should retreat or something, roll survival, on a high roll everyone lives, middling rolls and below that have to choose which npcs they save and the rest die

Wish really needs removing from the game, it seems so often DMS are just waiting for the chance to monkey paw you l.

Should be noted that Conjure Woodland Beings was changed in the 2024 version. It’s an emanation like Spirit Guardians now so it would absolutely not slow down combat. It’s not a summon 8 pixies spell anymore…

Sometimes we get truly blessed with Caldwell rolling on the Random Memories Table in his brain and bringing up 8-bit-book-club deep cuts and Jafar lore and setting the tone for the episode! Also, about having lost some of those eps to the hard-drive... no ya didn't. Internet archive sends its regards ((comfortable in commenting this as you are all big defenders of physical media, so I'd imagine you wouldn't want your show becoming lost media))

The player who told their DMD this isn't how I would have done it, I would have double downed on the petty next session and in front of everyone constantly been like is this okay with you? Is it okay if I have this npc do this? Do I have you permission to let the other players to go talk to who they want??? Ugh so mad over that submission...

I wish there was a version of this show where they didn’t pull on their puds for 70% of it, and actually did more than three cases an episode. 🙃

That curse book could have been such an interesting plot hook. That's basically an imprisonment spell with a curse needing a bond. So a level 9 abj v level 9 conj spell breaking. Magic that powerful clashing could have resulted in your freedom but at the cost of the book becoming a powerful relic or weapon itself that a group hellbent on obtaining knowledge of magic that dragon held, or maybe even an interplaner organization that is working to keep the book away from a future timeline occurring.

Bloodbowl.

I just want you guys to know that I loved 8-bit book club back in the day. It may not have had a lot of listeners, but I was one of em, damn it.

The best part of Return of Jafar is that Jason Alexander is in it as the guy who saves Jafar from the lamp, and he acts exactly how George Costanza would if he found himself in the Aladdin universe.

Where do we submit questions for the show? I am new - sorry.

To the DM that has the player mad that they dont do what they want them to do story-wise: Do stars and wishes with the other players there. The problem player would have to say those ridiculous things in front of others and THEY can come to your defense. OR the player will stop saying those things because they will be embarrassed. Otherwise - ignore the texts and say "bring this up at stars and wishes. We will bring it up before we start next session and see how the other's feel"

Anyone else have a duplicate of the Maine feed on their rss? I don't have the short rest. Just two copies of monkey paws and ballin DMs at 1hr6mins

Aboleths are highly intelligent, so it would actually make sense for at least an older one to know the effects of different spells and actions.

To the basketball player feeling self-conscious about fitting in as an athlete amongst dnd nerds: i'd like to politely point you to some people: Travis Willingham of CR, Joe Manganiello, Vin Diesel, Johnny Stanton IV. All tall, big guys, all unapologetically nerdy! I promise your people are out there, if not in your immediate circles! Even over at D20 - had 4 renowned wrestlers playing at the table. I promise - as the NaDDPod crew said: you're pretty much cool by default for wanting to join! You're among a great community, and as Murph said, defo embrace yourself fully in the off season. You'll find where ya sit. Good luck friend!

Glad for the 8bit book club deep cut

All these penis jokes, and nobody even chuckled when Murph said fallacy! PHALLUSY

Murph saying that playing Halo aged him made my back hurt😂

I think this is a classic case of Poorly Worded Wish, if the cursed book will kill you if you get rid of it, and you just Wish for the book to be gone, it WOULD still kill you

jake calling murph by his first name is one of my top ten bits ever fs

The 8BBC callback! Y’all Riven for Myst? 🎵🎶

Caldwell… “it’s a little jafar fetched”??? Are you KIDDING ME?!?! You absolutely genius

“Its all gone except for Wendy O’Koopas feet…” Peak Emily 😂❤️

Ha! I have a Bladesinging Wizard player in a Curse of Strahd campaign I DM that can get his AC up to 27 with Bladesong + Shield. I want to kill him so bad.

To the basketball player - maybe if you can get them to play again, rather than go standard D&D, could you maybe do like a space jam style esque mini campaign? where they have to get the team together, get to the basketball game and then like the big ending combat could be a basketball game? That way you’re combining all the interests

Anyone else scream "GEN! ITS FUCKING GEN!!!"

To the basketball player, if you think there is any chance of them getting into it you can go the Meme route, start jokey and dumb until people buy in, than hit them with the emotional good stuff, like the memes of things like Bingbong the imp, but than you kill the imp and people are genuinely sad. Hook them by pandering to the dumb and funny, which will also shows how flexible dumb and fun dnd can be, than hit'em with the emotions. But thats just an option, it probably won't work out, but that is basically how the adventure zone started...Travis started them playing got to a very fantasy sounding npc, his brothers eyes glazed so he just started making the npc names and things dumber, until they got hooked...so it can occasionally work.

So using the Wish spell for things other than duplicating another spell does incur necrotic damage (that can’t be negated or reduced) for casting spells afterwards (1d10 per spell level). It’s not a Monkey’s Paw, it’s just RAW. Casting another Wish spell after the first like that means 9d10 damage. The 33% roll is the chance after casting Wish like this that you lose the ability to cast it altogether. It actually sounds like the DM was a bit more lenient on Wish rules, and had the 33% be for the Necrotic damage, but still allowed them to use the wishes even though they failed.

Caldwell, I just want to personally say as a fan from way back I really appreciate the 8-bit book club deep cuts

Classic Murph sentencing re: The Basketball Case. Get new friends.

Nothing helps me through a stressful week like a new episode of Dungeon Court 🙏🏾

Caldwell is correct. Atrus was the good son to a shit dad, and had two shit sons.

Thank you Caldwell! You said what I was thinking about the Wizard. Like... dude, you are still a Wizard with all your spells 😆 You're good.

It was actually a stranger things inspired session for my friends! If Jaffar gets out don’t worry I’ll dunk on him and send him back into the lamp!

Excellent

She Baliff J’ornkin it on my justice

Regaurding the first case: why did they take dmg for rolling a 50/50 % dice? That's just flipping a dvd... (also there are some moments when rolling and not knowing what it's for is not fun)

I got a jury summons and I wish it was for Dungeon Court.

Thank dice Christ I happened to be up at 3 in the morning

Good ole cum button

Thanks

Right when I set out on my walk 😎

I needed this ‘sode, this evening, thanks 2 Crew 👏🙏

Perfect way to get an early start to the weekend, praise Dice Christ!!!

i had a bad day and i have work so early tomorrow and i don’t care and im listening now and thank you

Dice Christ has blessed us, a Thursday night ‘Sode!

Let’s go let’s go I JUST WAS ABOUT TO CHECK