Dungeon Court: Bonus Cases - A Tale of Two Tabaxis
Dungeon Court is STILL in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and Hurwitz, as well as Bailiff Trollwife Axford as they continue to pass judgement on your trials at the table!
CREDITS:
Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor Lyon
Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam Weiller
Comments (126)
I’m worried dndcourt is making murph angrier
Tf is that picture in the front
"JOHN CENA CAN JIZZ WHENEVER HE WANTS!" ... "So ordered." 😂😂
Im hoping to play a small sized tabaxi thats similar to monster hunter Palicos... my dm better not make be a small james corden.
As a fellow negative self taker - I totally identify w the DM who second guessed themselves!
Should’ve played the pope one like in the muppets most wanted
The John Cena music took me out every single time. Didn’t miss once.
To the DM who retconned their prison break: writing compelling fiction is hard, and it’s even harder when it’s partially improvisational fiction that you’re writing in concord with your players. I’ve written novels and when I’ve reached the climax I’ve realised the climax no longer works or delivers what I wanted it to. And that’s totally okay. You basically wrote a first draft, led a focus group with a group of readers, took notes on what did not work, and went back to the drawing board. That’s awesome. You’ll tell a much better story now that you’ve had to workshop it a little bit: we don’t all spew out the absolute best narrative on the first go, never without a bit of hacking, chopping, and fine-tuning.
Tabaxi are like Ajani from mtg nobody thinks that dude is a house cat
I just need everyone to know that I had the most visceral reaction to the slowed down John Cena theme at work 😭
Actually same. It was uncalled for.
As a wrestling fan, these are my new favourite dungeon court eps
My first character ever was Maxi the Tabaxi. And Emily's pronunciation is killing me on the inside
She does it all time. I've started to think it's on purpose. Like nobody watches all of Naruto and can't pronounce any of the names.
Not Emily Not reading the entry and distracting everyone else again. They didn't dress up as the pope, they killed the pope. Sigh, AxFord
Are you saying the fiend was disguised as the pope and the aasimar was disguised as just some other aasimar?
I actually had a player get ghostly gaze recently, and the party happened to come across an illusory wall in a dungeon. I ruled that they weren't able to see through it and my players were super confused at first, but thought it was a cool way to play it once they realized what happened.
Man, DND & epistemology collide! Murph representing literary-analytical knowledge (what the book says) and Em as networked pattern cognition (image search). In case you were looking for an example for your philosophy thesis 🫠
murph PLEASE roleplay a super normal man encountering a cheetah 🐆 "ppl are gonna see a cheetah 🐆.. and be like i need to get the FUCK out of here"
So Tabaxi aside, didn’t they say that first group was Pathfinder? If so, Pathfinder has the option to play an awakened animal.
On the Asimar case, just a humble opinion. Instead of having the outing be this supper public thing you could let it all blow over and then a few sessions later have a Nobel or Court member reach out to the Asimar in private with some piece of evidence they weren't thinking about that ties them back to it and have them blackmail the PC for something. There could be a lot of directions you could take it from there but it's a fun way to tie the event into the story without publicly humiliating a PC and create cool opertunities for additional character moments. Also I think the idea of having a PC blackmailed by the BBEG is a cool angle if managed well.
Another fun angle could be have the Asimar get away with it but then the council brings the party in as official investigators to try and hunt down the person responsible.
So on the topic of the Tabaxi trying to pretend to be a normal cat. You have to take into consideration that your talking about a fantasy world where anthropomorphic cat people are common place. Normal people know what they are and interact with them. There should have no issue being able to tell that it's not just a house cat. That would be like me insisting to everyone that I'm International Superstar James Blunt. Like yeah we are both humans and so by that logic we have common features but everyone knows what International Superstar James Blunt looks like and I clearly don't fit that bill.
To invoke the google president as well I searched for a while for pictures of Tabaxi walking on all fours. There is like one picture of a Tabaxi climbing up a building with all 4 limbs that is even remotely close and it straight up looks like Greninja from Pokemon, not a house cat.
Wait which case was it with bull spit/evil DM dad? Or which episode of dnd court?
dnd court from 6th december i think, since it says "evil dad" in title, I don't remember for sure though
Truly the most upsetting thumbnail y’all have ever chosen 😭
It was truly haunting me for weeks until I caught up.
Oh I’m so glad you guys saw my update!! I was so excited to meet other NADDPOD people in the wild!!! ❤️❤️❤️ And yes - the NADDPOD/Dungeon Court clock was WILD but I think was like “wait…this sounds really familiar…they know naddpod, but the kids don’t listen…”
I really hope yall come back to new Orleans and area. Making a big move from idaho to Mississippi so I'll actually be close enough to go to a show! Love all yall do!!!
DnD beyond gives you the option to make your tabaxi size small. I feel like that's where the confusion is coming from
Mew can't see me.
I think a turtle pope would solve a lot of divisive issues. 💚
I’m calling for a mistrial on the Nat 20 deception one. It’s fully within a dms rights to let a nat 20 success last as long as they want, and for these players the deception lasted in game weeks. The judges were talking as if the nat 20 happened and then they were immediately sent a letter. Weeks have passed, an investigation could have happened and now the church is calling you back because you’ve made a name for yourself and word of your exploits have reached back to the church who are looking for who killed their pope. Saying there should be an investigation and questioning as the judges suggested sounds like what the dm was setting up by sending them a summons. “Hey we’ve moved on from this thing, but now we’re gonna go back to it to see how things have changed in the past few weeks”. A single nat 20 roll can get you out of a city and cover your escape. Idk if it can save you from all consequences.
The DM’s reasoning doesn’t really hold up to scrutiny. The player rolled a Nat 20 on a check to disguise themselves, but it wasn’t enough to hide their race? That’s crazy.
"you can't Holy-See me"
The argument against ghostly gaze is super easy though. If it also functions as "you can't see through non-solid objects" then your vision would be blocked by things like... air.
obsessed with emily saying she's only benevolent towards troll wives, children, and grandmas because that means she's basically only malevolent towards middle aged men and when you look at who she plays with that makes a lot of sense
Wow, this episode was so funny it made me hungry… Good thing Gilligan’s Bar and Grill has so many options to sate my humor induced cravings!
the slowed down john cena music at the end of the episode made me look like a lunatic at work because of how hard i laughed
On God "John Cena is a heel now" is one of my favorite bits of all time. I keep laughing so hard I can't get my work done
The person break idea is great, there is a spell that is literally made for these shenanigans. 9th level Astral Projection. Have a physical prison with the suspended bodies in chronic sleep and the prisoners souls in a mirror prison in the astral realm.
It’s a normal day and you are driving home from work. You step out of your car and hear a faint rustling in the bushes. You think it is a squirrel or another small animal and walk to your door. Suddenly, you hear a manly voice whisper in your ear: “You can’t see me.” You turn around to see John Cena in a full cat bodysuit. He punches you in the face and grabs your keys. You protest but he gets down on all fours and rolls a deception check. He gets a natural 20 and begins shrinking. He then appears as a normal cat. He splits into 2 cats and at the same time they both stare at you and say, “my insurance is not paying for what’s about to happen.” You try to grab one of them but you hands pass right through him. He yells “HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE!” The other one, seeming to be solid, gets is your car, still a cat, and drives off. You run after him and watch as he drives your Corolla into a nearby lake. Through the glass in your car you can see him quickly neutering himself, unneurtering himself, and neutering himself again. He does this 5 more times until he is submerged in water. Then he swiftly jumps out and stares at you again. His final words to you are; “Are you kidding me? It’s DND, use your fucking imagination.” He then proceeds to hop in the pope-mobile and drive at around 200mph into a church.
Bless
I didn't get it until about the third time I heard it, but Jake, Shrek being STUNNED having sex with a monk was a 10/10 joke. With comedy chops like that, you should see if the crew would let you on their other show, 8-Bit Book Club. You'd probably fit in pretty well there.
OMG this new layout in collections is the worst. You can no longer see the timeline so you have to click on the ep to see if you watched it if you're not sure. This means if you've already gotten to say the middle of a campaign, which requires prompting the page to "load more" several times, you'd have to start all over again just to get back to where you were. So annoying. Why is Patreon determined to suck?
Which episode was Bullspit dad?
John Cena Vs The Grinch but they team up against you. (Because he's a heel now and can kill you irl).
OTTER POPE
I feel like there was a misread of the arch devil case. Murph did the thing he’s complaining about in campaign 3 as well. Are the judges not paying attention to the cases they are reading? They seem to be all over the place and not paying attention to the genre. Why are they talking about DnD magic when it’s a sci if adventure in pathfinder?
Because there’s magic in Starfinder
Am I misremembering the Bullspit dad story because wasn't that a case with no heroes (not the dad being ruled against outright)? I think the premise was that the kids and mom said they should all get a surprise round because they "caused a distraction" by burning down half the enemy camp so then the dad said no and also no enemy took any damage either because they only said they were targeting tents not enemies. Something like that.
I think they were playing 5e (which he was running for the first time). I think the crew came to the conclusion that the dad was being too harsh on ruling the party's attack did no damage but that claiming you should get a full party suprise round because you "distracted" the enemy by attacking them was unhinged behaviour. Lol
Sink your Corolla down for that 3 second swim.
So good
I couldn't see how many times they'd reference John Cena. Keep it unhinged gang!
So I know what a Tabaxi is, but what is Emily talking about? A Taboxi?
I don't think there's a definitive pronunciation, and the English language works in mysterious ways. People certainly don't say the short sound of a (as in apple) for the first a - they tend to say tuh instead of tab. So why is tuh-bax-ee more correct than tuh-box-ee? The unaccented first syllable is why we say tuh, but I can't think of any grammatical reasons to support the argument definitively of the pronunciation of the second, accented syllable. I'm open to hearing evidence either way!
Not Emily completely misreading the one case thinking the player was disguised as the pope and not the arch-devil they killed lol
Shout out to Emily for reading Crime and Pubishment, one of my faves
Apparently a new Looney Tunes movie just dropped today??? Maybe y'all could watch it for view crew? Love y'all!
Oh… oh no what is this nightmare going to be
The image for this episode showed up on Carplay, and the jump scare was so fierce that I drove my friend’s car 12 feet off the road into a lake.
This episode is not free of Cats (2019)
(Oh Malora, I can’t believe it happened! Thanks for choosing to hear my case. I am HONORED.) I accept my punishment and am thus currently pulling my bloodstained car out of Town Lake, but I will be submitting an official appeal on the Court’s ruling, as I hope to clarify key pieces of my testimony. In my attempt to be brief in my recounting of the incident, I fear I did not properly explain several key details, which were thus, dare I say, misunderstood by the justices and bailiff. Expect to see the amended evidence when it is delivered by my raven, Jamothy, upon the next convening of Dungeon Court. Fungally yours, The Salty Aasimar’s DM P.S. - does anyone know if John Cena’s cat testicles are compostable?
Lemme guess, they killed the pope and not the pope was the killer?
Haven’t even listened yet, but know I’m in for a good one based solely upon the cursed image of ‘Cats’ James Corden
There’s gonna be a Reddit post in a year or two where someone asks “does anyone remember the episode where Caldwell meowed the John Cena theme?”
I Don’t remember the bullspit dad court case. Can someone tell me which episode it’s on?
As a person who has been working with cats for 20 years and spends her whole life advocating for better care for them and defending them to people, the ferocity with which Murph also defends cats warms my heart. "People need to get over not liking cats because they're fucking insecure, because they give off such bad vibes that animals hate them." is one of the most accurate statements I've ever heard. Cats are perfect creatures and deserve nothing but the best in this life.
As a fellow cathead I must say the cat in your profile picture is strikingly beautiful
I hope the next surprise round is full of John Cena as a cat-- potentially neutering and/or unneutering himself.
John Cena as a cast member of Cats, the size of Antonio Banderas' Puss in Boots, getting in the back of a car and un-neutering himself and then jizzing everything that's been backed up since he was neutered is the literal reason I subscribe to the Patreon. This advertising has not been working on my friends but I think that proves I just need new friends.
For the pope devil murder, have corrupt authorities pick the party to frame for the crime they actually committed
Hey, I’m the DM from that case! That’s basically what’s happening. I didn’t do a great job of clarifying what happened in my submission. The archdevil was disguised as the fantasy-Pope, not my player. And the devil’s disguise was hella magical - still looked completely like the Pope after death. The PC in question, normally a Florence Pugh-esque buff angel, had cut her hair off, dyed it black and basically put on boy-drag. That was the Nat 20 disguise roll. She then, after killing this religious leader in front of a large crowd, popped out her angel wings, flew up into the air and gave this speech to the crowd. She was then seen escaping (by members of the same corrupt church) with the party, which then went on to (roughly six weeks later in game) win what was basically the World Series, broadcast live on FeySPN. With the Aasimar in her normal hair, out of boy-drag, but still popping her wings on occasion.
John Cena: heeline?
In pathfinder 2e there is an ancestry that is called “Awakened Animal” and it’s literally just “what if an awakened animal became an adventurer”. So the player from the first case could be an awakened cat and they wouldn’t need to Homebrew anything. I’ve actually been wanting to run a full awakened animal campaign for P2e.
When creating a Tabaxi character in 5e (not sure about pathfinder) you can choose if you want it to be medium or small (for example Zac in Neverafter was small as puss in boots). So everything Murph suggested is actually the rules, go Murph! Anyway all I want in life rn is to discuss Crime and Punishment with Emily.
I'm currently playing a Little Cat Guy who's a Munchkin Scottish Fold Tabaxi. He's 3'8", so we gave him Halfling walking speed and the ability to hide behind larger creatures. I also roleplay his struggles with his proportionally short limbs, such as getting on a barstool or reaching something that even a Halfling would normally be able to. His name is Chauncey, he's a glamour bard, and he weaponizes his cuteness any chance he can.
Eldritch Invocations are like a HEAVY committment, especially ones like Ghostly Gaze u can only use once a short rest AND take concentration, so it's a blessing to be able to make use of that power. If I took Eyes of the Rune Keeper with the incredibly far reaching ability but niche ability "You can read ALL writing", I'd want to sqeeze all the value I could get, and it's written like that on purpose to let the sky and your imagination be the limit
This album art was a jumpscare
absolutely i need a mas magus one-shot
disney world cast member here- can’t tell you how many times a cat has turned into john cena. it’s becoming a problem.
I just started the episode and this without any context is already insane.
As a cat lover, I can't imagine a worse hell than a world where some cats are sentient and some aren't, and there's no way to tell the difference.
Murph actually did pull the “well you’re a Bullywog, so they knew it was you” thing on Caldwell during Campaign 3. That’s how the evil Bronzebeard chick who talked like an HR lady found them x
Omg thank you for the support, I’m listing you as a character witness in my appeal! And legitimately, in our campaign, we’ve established that there are like maybe a dozen Aasimar alive in the world, so I don’t think it was too much of a stretch to say “hey, this same party was seen hanging out with a different looking angel that used the same weapons six weeks ago. I wonder if they’re connected?”
“What bird idea do you have?” … “Why?” 🤣🤣 I love Murph so much
i know its time to get excited when i see cats 2019 as the episode image
This podcast is not free from Cats (2019)
Which episode was the bull spit case from? I don't remember it.
D&D Court: Nasty Bards, Evil Dads, and Mustard Custard! The bull spit case starts at 19:52.
So regarding the first case with the Tabaxi, Pathfinder actually has a playable "Awakened Animal" race that may work well for that Player depending on what they're looking for. Your stats like speed and unarmed attacks can change based on what animal you are. I've looked at it a bit, but haven't gotten to play it myself yet https://2e.aonprd.com/Ancestries.aspx?ID=72
Damn, Pathfinder really has it all! That’s very cool. ~Caldwell
Oops murph turned this into surprise round
Does anyone know the affect of blessing your dice under the red moon
Oh no spoilers for crime and punishment!!!
“Caldwell is laughing hysterically to himself. What bird idea do you have?” 😂😂😂 Murph is so done with the bullshit
As a brand new DM that fears she bungled her most recent session, thank you for your advice to Noah K!!! 🥺
We're all just doing our best! I'm sure you did great and you'll only improve as you go.
This episode is confirmation that John Cena has joined the NADDPOD Cinematic Universe.
There is a dnd 3.5 race that I played based off of Werecats from Eragon. The race is called Tibbit, it's really cool
Hell fucking yeah dude that series gets so good and werecats were one of the coolest aspects of it.
I was going nuts during the tabaxi pretending to be a cat one because pf2e has awakened animals as a playable race! You can just BE puss in boots 100% by the book mechanically
And also because Tabaxi isn't a term in Pathfinder. There are Catfolk, but they're not called Tabaxi (Amurrun, if you want a specific name). Which, I mean, this is entirely irrelevant to the issue at hand, it just completely threw me that the submitter phrased it as "Catfolk, specifically Tabaxi" when like, no?
25:21 Pop!!
Emily, please know you are also benevolent to the sapphics 😂❤️
I do think the archdevil was the one disguised as the Pope, cuz that makes a lot more sense for the story
Yeah, if definitely reads that the archdevil was “the pope” corrupting the church from within.
The music every time was a fantastic and delightful addition
Got me hyped every time!! 💪
Oh no, Pope John Cena the Cat Who Neuters Himself got the Two Crew! Everybody panic!
So was the arch-devil disguised as the pope or the player? The wording was slightly confusing, I understood it as the former but from what Emily was saying it seemed to be the latter?
I personally don’t think it would make sense that the church would be upset if someone killed an arch devil. So I’m taking it as it was the Arch Devil disguised as the Pope
It’s days like these I’m grateful for modern technology Bless you for James Corden displayed in my car on the drive home
This thumbnail is scaring me...
*sees thumbnail* “oh dear god…..”
Justices Tabaxi can be medium or small you chose your size in the creation part
That's in 5e though. OP was playing Pathfinder, where Catfolk are medium creatures. You can be an Awakened Animal as a playable ancestry though, and Starfinder has Pahtra, which are a catlike Ancestry that I think can be Small or Medium
You can choose small or medium size for tabaxi! Small is cat sized, similar to what they did for Zac in Neverafter as Puss in Boots
Not in pathfinder though- RAW they are medium humanoids.
Oh no
Based on that cover image Murph's gonna go feral isn't he
Lol this last month I’ve been talking to so many of my partners about how I haven’t seen cats yet
and none of them have forced you to watch it yet??
The cover image alone makes me know that this one is gonna be a good one lmao