Mixed Bag of Holding: America's Next Top Minion
Welcome to the show critics are calling "a product that is currently available!" Using Caldwell's Instant Minion system, Murph, Emily and Jake create low-level monsters who must compete in a series of challenges for the honor of becoming The Dark Lord's Number One Grunt.
To try out Caldwell's system, use below image! (PDF attached below).
CREDITS
Editing and Sound Design by Caldwell Tanner
"Ol Guppy" by Emily Axford
Comments (131)
Wow. This alone is worth $10 a month in perpetuity. Absolute madness
I rolled one and named him Leadcap, an awakened mushroom covered in strange tattoos. My main ability is Strength with improved critical. HP - 12, AC - 16, with a main modifier of +6 and a damage modifier of +4. Because I rolled so bad on health, I took my flaw in CON. I honestly think Leadcap the Shroom could wreck some minions lmfao
goat mixed bag
i love this
all time favorite mixed bag
smallby voice is immediately at the top of the “things i care about” list
I genuinely thought Caldwell made a Minions movie game system from the title & description. It took me until reading in the d100 chart that they can be human to realize it was a minions system (brilliant!!) & not a Minions system
close enough! welcome back Krudbert and Hellbiscuit (i love a lil guy crash out)
Somehow I missed this one when it came out, holy shit what a gem!
I rolled two, to start... J'Miah, a tattoo-covered bullywug. HP - 25, AC - 13. +1 int, - 1 str, with a fire bolt cantrip. +1 to hit/damage. Shelly the Skelly, so hot (literally) she glows. Also got firebolt, so I imagine her bones as orange like burning logs... but bones. HP - 25, AC - 15. +3 int, - 2 cha. +3 to hit, +2 damage. I think being a skeleton is punishment for her life as a mean girl, represented by her bad cha and sick burns (firebolt).
Sleep-deprived Caldwell Tanner = unemployed Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec!! Side note: there is no traffic cone emoji to represent the Cones of Dunshire. Tragic.
🍦🍦🍦
This was so insane I loved it
My best friend and I are playing Baldurs Gate 3 and they made a Circle of Spores Druid with red skin and vitiligo and a poofy hairstyle. He’s just a cute lil guy who has twenty pairs of glasses okay, raising other lil mushroom zombie guys to also be cute lil guys in glasses…
This is one of the most unhinged things I’ve listened to omg. Glorious.
Classic shenanigans that immediately make Murph mad are always my favorite 🤣
So unhinged and so so funny. Love you guys
The wild, and humorous, uses of my last name had me blushing 😂 (It's Gob lmao)
You are good
This was unhinged and amazing.
Playing this system tonight and I'm so pumped
Smallbee is my spirit monster and I will insert him into all of my games forever lol
Teresa Lisbon from the mentalist is pissed off
Queue Powerwolf's Resurrection by Erection for the bullywug legend Clark from Lisben hahaha
And here I sit refreshing Patreon looking at the previous post wishing it were new, like opening a fridge hoping something had spawned in from the previous time you looked…
Des Moines mention, but at what cost ✊️😩
Was cryyy laughing for the last 20 minutes. Is anyone going to Des Moines killed me
CLARK IS GOB
Omg halfway through I was absolutely dying, Jesus Christ I can finally breathe
Caldwell is an absolute adorable dingus and I wish he was my older brother. I love your sense of humor dude
So excited to use this sheet in my personal campaign!
D&Deople, best name for a Pawn Shop in Waterdeep: Best I Can Do or Pawn Hub?
This patreon is far and away the single greatest source of streaming content. I cannot express this enough. Love everything you all post. Gob is good.
A royal rumble filled solely with minions made with this system would be beautiful
If there is no t-shirt saying "GOB IS GOOD" in the merch store, I'm calling my paralegal pawsum !
Hearing the venom and bile of an angry Murph in his lil guy voice was incredible, no notes lmao
Another classic Murph crashout.
Did we just learn how Jake proposed? 🤣 38 mins in
What an absolute shitshow. I loved it.
This is so funny😂. Incredible idea Caldwell, incredible execution everyone
Murph being pissed as a tiny guy is so funny. I’m gonna need all Murph salt to come in this form from now on
Murph’s lil guy voice makes me so gleeful.
This was so fun!!! It has to get a reboot on a different network! I could listen to a million episodes
I'd love to hear more of these
"Is anyone going back to Des Moines" is the greatest line I've heard in a while
i NEED to know how murph feels about the John Cena Heel turn
Great job Caldwell, such a fun table to roll on!
Damn, Murph was an EXTRA hater today 😅 poor Clark Lisbon
Access to Mixed Bag is easily the best $10 i spend every month. Listening to Murph rage in his "lil guy" voice brings me joy that is truly priceless.
I’m living for Smallby lmao
"Res-erection" best line of the ep.
Gob is so good
Lullabies from the Wild Side has become my background music for kcd 2 and it’s been so lovely
what the fuck was that... 😂
Murph what are your opinions on John Cena turning heel and backing The Rock
I really need to hear Murph’s response to what just happened at Elimination Chamber
WE NEED AN EMERGENCY MURPH TALK ON THE INSANE ENDING TO THE WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER.
Holy shit right???
How dare you, Murph. We flip DVDs, not coins.
This was so stupid. I loved it.
This is one of the most ridiculous pieces of media they’ve made I laughed so hard 11/10
I’m on Murph’s side on this one. It became a kangaroo court of nonsense towards the end. I wanted to see Caldwell’s events not just some weird PvP fight at the end
Agreed. The game was set up to be a competition and Emily kind of ruined it by 1) deciding to give herself disadvantage, 2) making her character stupid, and 3) initiating PVP. This could be a dungeon court case submitted by either the DM or the other players, and the judges would rule against Emily.
smalbe my wrathful king (murph rage in that voice was absolutely fantastic to hear)
Need this to escape the mixed bag, we need more
This has been the hardest I’ve laughed in a while. Justice for Clark Lisbon.
#clarkgotdonedirty and he would’ve liked it that way
This is art
Emily’s minion just has me picturing a goblin Sam Sulek lmao
This was incredible, thank you Caldwell’s mania
I immediately had to go and make a spreadsheet with formulas where you enter you rolls and flaw (and ability modifier to increase for Human), and it lists out the HP, AC, ability mods, damage roll, etc. to have easy minion generation! I might also write a script to generate "full" stat blocks based on the rolls.
👏👏👏
#Justice4Smallby
I’m a Talking Ape, on the brink of Financial ruin, AC14, 15HP, Extra attack with +2 to STR, -2 to CHA. Meet Kevin Damply 🫠
Jesus Murph you need new friends 😂
Submitting this episode in full to D&D court
Glad to see the return of some good old fashioned murph rage
Smallby resigning to getting trolled by Emily was so hilarious
This is why we subscribe to the mixed bag tier.
I’m a Smalby Stan 4 life fr
"Gob is good" 🤣 I swear if there ever comes a time someone isn't stanning Emily Axford, it's because I (and Brian Murphy) have been slaim!
Me too!
Gob is good to me today
SHUT UPPPPP I love mixed bag tier thank u angels
I am a robot dressed in leather daddy attire, with 29 hit points, 16 AC, +3 STR, and -1 CON, +1 Damage Modifier. I also crit on 19 and 20.
I’m an Imp who is clearly on the verge of financial ruin, 12HP, 15 AC, +4 STR, -1 WIS, +1 Damage mod. I can turn invisible once per day, presumably to escape my creditors.
Gob is good truly
I await the dark commands of our lord Small-B
This was absolutely stupid and perfect and I loved it. Truly wild energy from everyone!
crying laughing
oh, well, this is absolutely thrilling. I know what I'll be working on my Mardi Gras costume to.
It took me 4 minutes and 21 seconds to realize this wasn’t about Illumination Entertainment’s hit movie Minions
Would die for Smallby
You'd think after all these years I would have learned not to listen to these episodes whenever I'm trying to eat something, I almost choked on my Coffee when Smallby tried to steal the Halfling from Clark. I simultaneously loved and hated everyone of these characters, absolutely perfect
By far the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time
Need more of these little freaks... maybe they can become canon Trinyvale characters for another mixed bag oneshot?
I know my brain is broken because it wasn't until I was like 3 minutes in that I realized that they didn't mean the yellow minions
Until they gave themselves names I thought the same
Murph's lil guy voice going "I fucking hate you guys. You all suck" is hilarious. Also Jake's multiple nat 20 res-erections were bonkers!
Res-erections gonna be of the carnal crew
I need 100 more of these
https://www.tcgplayer.com/product/550806/magic-the-gathering-secret-lair-drop-series-brash-taunter?country=US&utm_campaign=18142757028&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=&utm_term=&adgroupid=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA2oW-BhC2ARIsADSIAWptzxg4tmnGCjmY4MxLYKi2rTG3lZRDH6zG-ahoaBT9LNDl6IusU1QaAnahEALw_wcB&Language=English
Murph is cursed to always try to play a cute little guy that always deteriorates into an insane bloodthirsty tyrant 😂
I fully missed that Jake rolled pathetically horny, so the whole time I was very confused on why he was so horny 🤣🤣🤣
,
i no joke thought we were adding minions from dispicible me to naddpod lore
I have SO many dishes to do thank you guys so much
I'm here for the snorts
This is an awesome, reusable concept. I’m here for it.
Nothing is better than Murph’s “little guy” voice
I want random encounter random minions in Skaldova.
“No deeces for us meeces” is an immediate banger quote
ha ha mine is a Pathetically Horny Goblin. Feels right.
No kobold smh
So glad I’m not the only one that thought we were getting a Kevin Bob and Stuart 1 shot based off the title
I thought it would be Kevin
This system is brilliant I’m about to unleash some truly bizarre little guys on my players
Honestly thought by the title this was gonna be about THE Minions.
I always love these glimpses into the sweet blue hole that is the mind of our Duncle
Just started ep 3, and now looks like the rest of my night is booked out
Jake told 0 lies when he teased this Mixed bag as "Caldwell...just caldwell. you're gonna like it"
where the FUCK is the flying sword
JOHN ELWAY!
Fucking absolutely perfect timing for me who's been spending all week moving out of my childhood home with my mom cause my parents are getting divorced.
That sucks. Hope things get better for you.
Oh my god
i have never clicked a naddpod notification this fast oh my god what fresh hell are we in for
oh. minions like grunts, not minions like lil yellow dudes. still goated 🫶🏻
An episode and a mixed bag? Best day of work ever
A new episode, short rest and mixed bag? You ensorcel us
My work day has been non stop NADDPOD, this is so clutch