[BONUS] Episode J - The Maltese Falcon (1931 + 1941)

Is this the first "all vibes no plot" movie?

I can't believe you hated this movie so much, I kind of love all of its nonsense, that said it is inferior in many ways to both The Big Sleep and To Have and Have Not, which also have bullshit plots but way more Lauren Bacall and I hope you do them both eventually.

Shout out to Lucy for impeccable editing

Falcon's Malteaser was a book by Anthony Horowitz (filmed as "Just Ask for Diamond"), part film noir parody but much better plot IMHO.

Peter Lorre is the Platonic Ideal of "just a little guy".

I suppose Sam Spade can be metanarratively-trans. In the 1930s, Sam Spade was free to be trans and have gay friends, but in the 1940s the Government forced them all into being the incredibly-toxic stereotypes associated with Gender Assigned at Birth, and absolutely NOT GAY AT ALL. Therefore, the reason the 1941 Maltese Falcon is trash is because it was forced back in the closet.

I have a thesis after watching this on a train ride with four hours of sleep while my anxiety meds were wearing off: Sam Spade is a trans woman, but she's a dirtbag butch CNC dom. The "you're a dangerous man, what if you do something dangerous?" bit made me think, oh yeah, I've been here. This is pre-scene flirting. I think the "all detectives are transgender" thesis can, like all things be, be strengthened by judicious application of butch in the future.

Speaking of gardenia scented business cards: in the Thunderball novel, Blofeld puts in a lavender lozenge because it says he likes to have sweet smelling breath when giving bad news. I first experienced the book by listening to it free on youtube, and when it said he popped a lavender scented "cachou" in his mouth I wondered if lavender scented cashews were a thing. Months later I reread the book and had to Google "cachou" Speaking of the immobilizing supermove of pulling a coat down over someone's arms, I think it's the Casino Royale novel where Bond is being led somewhere and the guy tries to do that, and Bond pulls out the secret parry of "dropping to the floor quickly so the coat stays at the same height" BUT the guy trying to do it to him counters his counter by dropping to the floor along with him and then laughs at him Speaking of the wit versus the will versus the whatever, Bulldog Drummond is interesting because he is textually not very smart (or good looking) and he has to sit there with his former batsman/valet next to him taking notes while he brainstorms out loud for like an hour straight

I wonder if maybe this movie’s reputation for being a great detective movie is that everyone misses or misunderstands something crucial, and assumes that whatever they missed or didn’t understand was genius. That said I do really enjoy this movie, misogyny and homophobia notwithstanding.

Harry Canyon from Heavy Metal is basically this character but with a slightly more understandable plot.

*checks off “November Says Sneedhon in a bonus episode” on its bingo card*

Did not expect this episode to explain why my cop dad was so enthusiastic about showing me police evidence photos when I was seven. Also Sam Spade is a Pick Me

Surely the trans cop subtext in a Bogart movie is Captain Renault in Casablanca

I remember when I was a kid thinking the "pull someone's coat backwards over their arms, instantly incapacitating them" was the coolest thing.

RE: Hat working, do leviathan wakes! Love Detective Miller

"Stop trying to make the hat work." No.

Let out a little ‘yippee!’ for The Nice Guys being next :)

It would shock my 15 year old self to find out Bogart's Spade isn't actually a genius with a cool sexless affect like Light and L Death Note from my Japanese animes. A real "the coolest thing you can be is to pretend to be a sociopath while actually being secretly sensitive" character.

While I like the movie, I do personally blame Humphrey Bogart for the creation of the Sigma Male.

As someone who listens to the podcast exclusively while driving, I am politely requesting Less Sirens ;-;

Question of the week, does Motoko Kusanagi count as a detective?

I saw this movie as a young boy because my dad was obsessed with Bogart. I thought I didn’t get it because I was a dumb kid but it turns out I had a surprisingly good grasp on what was going on, it’s just an incoherent movie

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Watched this a few weeks back in a double feature with high sierra (which feels like it would have a remake where he pays for her transition) and all I could muster at the end was an “oughhh”

I read the book relatively recently and all I remember is feeling confused and vibes

Even in the deepest depths of my Detective Phase, I never really vibed with Sam Spade. Philip Marlowe was much more my type (er, so to speak). He's superficially very similar but a bit more, I don't know, human. Or maybe he's just more transgender with it.

I welcome the bonus episode interrupting my crying session but i urge it to be longer