I talk a LOT of game for someone who has never had one in her mouth. like, genuinely embarrassing levels of confidence. I will sit there and type "I'd have you finished in two minutes" with zero, ZERO evidence backing that claim 👉👈

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and tonight my brain decided we either prove it or shut up forever. so I set up my phone, grabbed my most realistic toy, set a literal timer on my desk like this was an olympic event, and went to work

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about the timer. I picked two minutes because I talk big. the timer did not matter. it turns out "never done this before" and "two minutes" were not compatible ideas and I had to look at the failure of my own ego for a full extra six minutes while my jaw filed a formal complaint 🫠

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the video is up, completely uncut, timer visible in the corner so you can watch my confidence leave my body in real time. no idea if I'm any good, but I am DETERMINED and apparently that's half of it. the pics are just me on my knees looking way too pleased with myself, drool situation included, no cleanup, you get the honest documentary version

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someone rate my technique before I hate myself trying to impress you all