[Patreon Exclusive] Monster Talk w/ Ally Beardsley
In these parts, once September hits, it's spooky season. FIGHT ME! So... it's time to talk about all things monsters.
What makes a monster? Is it the teeth? The claws? The terrible size? The unknowable horror? Or is it, perhaps, what’s inside that counts?
In honor of WORLD TURNER, the cast is joined by Ally Beardsley for a good old-fashioned Monster Talk: kaiju, cryptids, creatures, beasts, things that go bump in the night, and all the many shapes a monster can take. Big monsters, little monsters, scary monsters, sexy monsters. They can't help the way they look!
Tell us in the comments: what was the formative, traumatic scary monster that you faced in your youth?
Comments (80)
I love hearing you all share experiences. This is truly one of the last places for positive entertainment in this often depressing reality. Check out this monster podcast if you are interested. Funny hosts who definitely are in the TTRPG world You can sense it in the conversation. https://giantmonstermessages.com/
So the scarabs in the mummy terrified me as a kid. Just the idea of something crawling under your skin ugh. The monster with hand eyes from pans labyrinth I saw only a handful of scenes from it and was afraid to shower alone for months. My weirdest one was in legends of Zelda ocarina of time the deku tree at the start. Some reason was just so scary.
Congrats to Brennan for his first antiwoke opinion: if you're boring or your life sucks it's no biggie for ghost and ghouls to rip you limb from limb. Inspiring 🫡
This isnt monster necessarily but the experience of walking through a museum scared is v near and dear to me bc i grew up next to kids science museum (COSI, iykyk) and they had a space exhibit that was cool inside, but to get inside you had to go through this hallway that was like a bridge and the room looked like stars spinning in the sky and i was TERRIFIED to walk through that hallway to the point that my mom was basically like “ok were going here shut your eyes” and shed like hold my hand while walking through. The only other true horror was a live reenactment of the passion my grandparents took me to when i was too young and i had nightmares for weeks. I hated it. And thus no more monsters for me
Also the first film I remember being scared over (other than the end fight scene between the beast & Gaston) was the trolls in Ernest Scared Stupid ! Terrifying
The Letter People in their original 1960s illustrations... I was in elementary school in the 90s and they were still using them, and I had nightmares of the patchman Mr. P shambling out of the darkness towards me
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Letter_People If anyone's curious 💀
Jeepers Creepers destroyed my sleep for a month as a kid. I walked through the room when my sister was watching it and she described the plot.
Erika mentions a “ninja turtles museum somewhere” with an alien queen. It was the now defunct Words and pictures Museum of Northampton MA. Founded by Ninja Turtles creator Kevin Eastman. A truly incredible place.
I saw Spielberg's War of the Worlds when I was 7-8 years old, and I couldn't sleep for weeks after that. Something about it's tentacles and the horn sound it makes, made run and sleep at the foot of my parents bed for a good few weeks/months after seeing it.
I had almost the exact same experience with my daughter and Jurassic Park as Brennan. She was 10 though but very much the same screaming then insisting she was ok and we should keep watching.
I have two formative early childhood monsters. One of them is Willem Dafoe (as Green Goblin, but also in general. Because as Weird Al said, he's scarier without the mask on). The other one is the parrot that was at my local pet store. The store was split into two rooms, and I never willingly went into the side room because the parrot was in there, and whenever I entered its domain it screamed
Wait, is Grind Your Teas and Brews a play on Mind your Ps and Qs? What an exceptionally bad name
I'm listening to Brennan talk about the whaleVsquid at the Natural History Museum and the hair in my neck is standing UP! As a NYC kid I can confirm, that shit is terrifying!!! Especially now that I'm learning there's no glass and they can escape 😱😱
I was always scared of those human mannaquins you get at museums and the flesh eating bugs from the mummy will forever live rent free in my head 😭
When I was 8 years old I snuck out of bed in the middle of the night to get some water, and as I passed my mom's room I spied in and saw the scene from Hellraiser (1987) where Frank is coming back together out of the floorboards. For years I had nightmares about that scene, to the point I thought I made it up 🥲 then when I was 17 my mom had me watch the movie, I was SHOOK
(it's one of my favorite horror movies now)
Andy Serkis should probably be removed from your list now Erika, with all his weird A.I. bullshit 😂
Jaws was an early one and then remember the same feeling for the T-Rex. One more movie has gotten my nervous system that amped and that was Blair Witch
Age 5–6: Zombies in Thriller and Jaws. I refused to swim in water that wasn't clear and I had night terrors about zombies for years. Loved horror movies from a young age though: I think I watched every classic horror movie from the local Blockbuster by the time I was 12 (Dracula's Daughter was my favorite).
I watched The Grudge at 12 and I was terrified of the ghost/monster woman. I would lay down terrified in my room and not be able to sleep until I decided to befriend her. Very much a Guillermo del Toro approach
i find this really heartwarming, thank you!
I am about a year older than Brennan and I am very much Not A Horror Girlie, so Jurassic Park was also something that left An Impression on me as a child 🤣 For me, it was the goat leg that did it, but also I was watching during a sleepover at a house I'd never been to with people my mom knew well, but I didn't, and they all fell asleep and I didn't know how to turn it off 🫣 He's so right about it being scary because it could have been fun but instead it was Bad.
I first saw the Xenomorph when I was around 8. Plopped down on the couch with my dad and Alien was on. I think I was more in awe of just how cool it was rather than how scary it was.
Yep, this is my answer
The gasp I gusped in my car to realize that Brennan was also terrified by the whale and squid exhibit at the museum of natural history in nyc as a kid AND I had the distinct memory of telling my partner when we visited as adults that I was so scared of falling in and getting eaten and realizing once I grew up that it was because it was the only exhibit in the blue whale hall without glass. As a kid you just subconsciously felt that the dark little corner without the glass was so the whale could wake up and grab you before anyone could stop it.
My childhood monsters: the Wicked Witch of the West and the cobras from Riki-Tiki-Tavi. And one my older brother invented. We were down by the creek--not a pretty place with trees, basically a glorified drainage ditch--and found a cow's skull. Not expected in the middle of a suburb. My brother was probably 12 and I was 8. He proceeded to invent a ghost story about an Indian and his cow. That is literally all I remember about it. But the stairs to our attic were in my bedroom, and on the wall of the attic stairs he drew a small picture of a flaming cow skull, and I refused to go up there for probably two years even though there was a light switch.
The real monster is Brennan not speaking for the first three minutes and then surprising us all.
As a kid, it was the velociraptors I was really scared of, particularly when I was in the shower because I can't see the door through the shower curtain, there's no way out, and I know they can fit through the door! I had to imagine a small t-rex was my guardian and would stand in front of the shower for me, and I knew I was ok because I couldn't hear the t-rex bellow at the velociraptors while I was in the shower.
That's creative thinking!
Apropos Jurassic Park, there’s an instrumental post-rock trio (cello, drums, eight-string bass) that I’ve been following for like 15 years called You Bred Raptors?, and their whole theme is Jurassic Park. I just thought everyone should know that. Their album Grant is a masterpiece, but you can’t really go wrong with any of them. Enjoy!
ok, SUPERB
When I was little I was irrationally afraid of bald men and my the time there was a monkey at the St. Lewis zoo that had alopecia and I had a full blown panic attack about it lol
Ehhh… just waiting for them to stop talking up Andy Serkis. He recently came out saying that Hobbits have to be white. 🤨
i had missed that interview 😬 thanks for flagging it and jeez, his answer just gets worse and worse! they're just... suspicious of outsiders as a *community*, you see! How dispiriting
Vroman's rocks ❤️
Eyyy, Erika's a fellow Squid Kid~ My childhood fears were a little weird. My uncle would watch Freddy Kreuger movies while I was in the room (my mom was pissed when she found out lol) and some of my favorite movies as a kid were Batman Returns, Temple of Doom, and Legend. Yet, E.T. and the bad man from Rescuers Down Under terrified me 🤷♂️
Making me want some Entenmann’s desserts real bad. Specifically, the discontinued cheese-filled crumb cake 😭🤤
the REAL monster is whoever discontinued that crumb cake
The flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz, absolutely horrifying as a child! And the shark that attacks Ariel at the beginning of The Little Mermaid
My list goes way back: That little kid (Anthony Fremont - had to look that up) from the Outer Limits episode where the kid keeps his whole town hostage with his god-like powers, Sleestaks from Land of the Lost (hey, I was a very little kid when I watched that, lol), the little monster in the Twilight Zone episode where William Shatner is a passenger on a plane and he sees the monster messing with the plane while in flight, during a storm, but no one believes him, Gamera (though, I remember deciding at some point that I like Gamera and wasn't afraid of him). Also those flying brain cells things in that episode of the original Star Trek, where one lands on Spock's back. It 's funny, I was an avid reader as a child (still am), but I was never very afraid of monsters (or other nefarious characters) in the books, comic books, and graphic novels that I read. It was the monsters from the visual media that spiked my adrenaline and most of those were from things I saw on TV before the age of 10. Though, I do remember being a little freaked out by "The Gentlemen" in the "Hush" episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series) and the "The Strangers" in the movie Dark City (which was around the same time).
I was old enough when I first read *The Children of Green Knowe* to be embarrassed by how frightened I was by the monster tree.
Also; Mulligrubs. IYKYK
For me it was early Doctor Who. The Ark in Space. Also WTF was up with Under The Mountain? Terrifying
Continuing to give credit to the discredited Michael Crichton, I was haunted for so long during my childhood by the Evil Gorillas from "Congo." Bad movie, but those critters were *terrifying* for a certain age of child.
Oh my gosh nobody ever remembers the Congo when I mention it terrifying me as a kid!
T1000. Straight up situation like Brennan. I was watching with some family as a young pup, then that scene with the mom and step dad with the milk carton happened. Gawd dayumnnnnnnnn! Only Odo from DS9 saved me from fearing shape-shifters. lol
Oh, my hot second place: Showbiz pizza animatronic band. So, I guess robots.
My house growing up was the same layout as Lou's, and that's how I saw that scene where the mummy kisses the sleeping character and bugs crawl out of his mouth. Saw some other stuff that way, different genre though so off topic 😂
ugh the wolf from Neverending Story gave me NIGHTMARES as a kid!! the only "monster" that has really unsettled me as an adult is Jean Jacket from Nope, specifically the ummmm... feeding scene - it triggered a primal fear and is so disturbing to me in a way I can't quite articulate.
if you haven't seen it, here's a great article on Jean Jacket's sound design that gets into some of why it is SO disturbing: https://www.asoundeffect.com/nope-film-sound/
The one that absolutely terrified me as a child was the banshee from the Disney movie of Darby OGill and the Little People. A monster that kills you if you hear it? Nightmare fuel!
That bit always freaked me out too, it such a scary part of an otherwise cute movie 😂 but the banshee is only a harbinger of death, it heralds a family member dying
Bizarrely two of my earliest monster experiences were the same as Brennan's! ...my sister and I saw the sunroof scene in Jurassic Park on accident, way too young, on a TV in a store while my parents shopped and I freaked out. I also vividly remember walking up to the squid & sperm whale fighting in the Museum of Natural History and being so afraid I needed to run away.
I wonder how universal it is, because I also was so scared of the squid and sperm whale exhibit as a child! Scared enough I had to bring my partner there on our honeymoon and tell him about my fears as a kid 😂
Mr. Wilson, please. I'm trying to work. I'm covering my face so I don't die laughing at your bit about the T-Rex
this has got me STARVING for World Turner ep2 am trying to think of my own childhood monsters. this is on the "humans are the real monsters" side but i read /Use of Weapons/ at an age when i had absolutely no business reading /Use of Weapons/ and the Chairmaker stuff was so scary that it left a blank hole in my mind like a cigarette burning through paper. re-reading that book cold as an adult was quite an experience
oh also the Thread from the Pern books really freaked me out although in hindsight the monstrous thing in the Pern books is their gender politics :/
I knew this was gonna be a great episode when Brennan so clearly explained why I can't stand most horror movies in the first 6 minutes! Jaws was my first scary movie. There was always a marathon Thanksgiving Day, and I remember being 5 or 6 years old, sitting between my uncles and they would take turns covering my eyes for the scary parts... and sometimes they forgot haha.
Also the JP T-rex is a she, thank you.
Famously a mother 🦖 💅
"Signs"? You guys are seriously propping up that movie?
I grew up in Iowa City. I don't imagine anyone's going to be able to go on this journey with me, but I have a childhood monster as well: the stuffed giant sloth from the natural History museum.
i looked up a picture and i'm on the journey now, fuckin' yikes
In the same vein as Brennan, the one that sticks with me is the Lost World Jurassic Park, specifically the raptors in the tall grass AND the t rex in San Diego. When I was a kid after seeing the movie, I was afraid to go into tall grass and always scared a t rex would come around the street corner and charge me. Fun fact, the books are SO MUCH SCARIER and have so much more gore, I was scarred for life when I read it in middle school
Wow I literally mentioned the tall grass scene scaring me more than anything in the first film in a reply just a few posts up ! It stuck with me
What if Ally Beardsley and Erika Ishii doing a recorded reaction to Jurassic Park and the last couple Godzilla and Kong movies was also a patreon exclusive
I think mine was James and the Giant Peach, the rhino in the sky!!! So so so scary. I was not at all afraid of the bugs.
Potentially Jewish sent me
As a Jewish listener, how dare he, but also, I kinda get it
The Weeping Angels made me too scared to watch Dr Who for many years, I've only recently been able to watch the rest of the series
The Weeping Angels are easily the scariest entertainment I have ever watched.
Brennan goes on rant about the evils of capitalism: “oops what a pivot into my normal bag!”
The Terror Dog from Ghostbusters scared the living shit out of me as a kid. For years I was terrified of the darkness under my bed at night and after seeing Ghostbusters couldn't stop imagining one of those being under there so I'd turn off my lights at night then leap as far as I could onto my bed to avoid being grabbed by one cuz YOU NEVER KNOW!
In Lou’s defense, he’s already discussed the racism he experienced with Italians. T-Rex is a hero!
we ALMOST got a Big Business mention in WBN
The glowing eyes of The Hound from Wishbone's The Hound of the Baskervilles episode gave me nightmares as a kid 😆😱
In my head I saw the entire brennan section of talking about jurassic Park as a deepblueink animated 🤣😂🤣
I will only fight that *every* season is spooky season!
Just woke up and wondered if this was out yet. Lucky!
