Replace Cartridge
printers are the real villain in the qc universe
Comments (162)
There's a reason the programs that run printers are called dæmons.
Well-said!
Ever since I left T1 level tech support I have maintained that printers were put on this earth to punish all technologists for some obscure sin committed in the 70s
Obscure but IT-related? Or, like, the original sin?
Yay is not alone in abhorring those vile appliances.
I'm agnostic, but if a religious scholar ever wanted to argue that god isn't real but the devil is, and his entire argument was the existence and importance of office printers, I'd have to seriously consider he might be on to something.
When this email popped up, I honestly thought it said "Replace Cartilage". I was real curious as to what that could mean.
I can confirm that printers are in fact the devil.
Shrug. Let's the printer know who's in charge.
With a baseball bat.
Printers are the cats of the machine world.
But without the cute part.
Even this fantasy world still has printers?
Aww, Yay! Look at you using your abilities to help others (again)! They are very right about printers. Those things follow no laws, align with no tech - they fall squarely in the same category as Furbies.
Ah, something Skin Horse could understand. (At least there's no Machine Union in this comic universe...?)
I had a printer that would only come half-way across, then stop and ka-chunk, ka-chunk. It would print if I gave it a smack. The guy at the computer store said that probably wasn't a good long-term solution. I replied, 'But very satisfying'. I bought a cheapo replacement anyway.
Long ago, I decided that my three biggest support time sinks were printers, modems and RS-232 . Somehow, they never worked right the first time and often mysteriously failed all by themselves. Then I saw my first "all-in-one" office machine, which had all three of those in one box, and I knew we were in the worst timeline. I now have more 3D printers than 2D ones, and somehow the 3D printers have fewer problems than the one that just puts ink on paper.
Some of us call those all-in-ones "hydras". Like the legend, someone, somewhere, chopped a head off, and two of them sprang up in its place. And the lesson was not learned.
For every little change in the world, a new universe is created. Except for printer. There's no universe where printer aren't evil.
~200 comments, with 95% of them swearing at printers. Wow.
I'm surprised the percentage is that low
Work in IT, can confirm. Printers mock us out of spite.
Can't say they're wrong
I fucking HATE printers.
So say we all.
Look, they aren't wrong here. We can all get behind Yay in this case, for sure.
As a former tech support person. The three main troubleshooting steps on printers are: Restart computer, router and printer. Reinstall software and replace toner. Blood sacrifice and incense offerings to the dark lord Kyocera. 😱
Step four: Scream incoherently, howling your existential frustration into the very depths of the abyss. Step five: Weep inconsolably as the many mistakes that brought you to this waking nightmare come back to haunt you. Step six: Check for driver updates.
Office Space rec
https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/system32comics/printers/viewer?title_no=235074&episode_no=42
*Clinton casually crushes his drink can*
"F**k you, low on cyan!"
*Replace cyan cartridge* "Low on magenta" *Start ritual fire*
Followed by copy machines. If they are a separate unit. I was lucky I was wearing work clothes when the toner exploded. The stain is also permanently embedded in the office rug.
Yeah, that shit never comes out.
So when Clinton is several decades older he won't become the guy at the country store (maybe in Williamsburg) whose bones or joints act up, then says "Storm's a brewin' "?
Oh shit, printers are ranked lower than fucking *Corpse Witch?* Considering just how badly Yay reacted to what she did, that's saying something.
As a professional printer, I can say that digital printing equipment is the real villain in EVERY universe.
as a somewhat seasoned IT professional, yes, printers are possessed by demons
Printers are devils.
Printers and vending machines they are the ones that when they get AI will take over the world.
As an IT professional - Yay is 100% in the right. Stare not into the abyss.
I have never related to Yay more
Especially when they're Mom's...
Speaking as a late-career IT professional: printers are ALWAYS evil.
Someone should ask Yay about maybe getting printers to work at top quality without "genuine (brand) supplies". That's an added circle of hell which didn't exist when I learned to service printers..
I get what you're saying, but that would require Yay to actually touch the printers, and, really, who would want to do that if they can avoid it?
Love the use of "mom's" instead of "my mom's", as Aurelia is also Yay's mom now
Aurelia is everyone's mom. She is... the omni-mom.
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWU4MjZjOWZjcDJuY3MxODR0dWMwN3d3NDEzcHl5dmYzZjA2eTB4ZHJ2dTZ6bmh6dyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/3tK7DEMGN6jewLa6aL/200_s.gif
*insert office space gif*
I'm glad Yay still has super powers and can use them for good.
So THAT's it! Corpse Witch was/is a modified printer!
Would explain a *LOT*
Printers are not the villain when you work at the printer company. (I worked at Canon's Australian R&D for almost 24 years)
Does this imply that AIs believe in Hell then?
My headcanon is that Robot Hell from Futurama exists in the QC universe, complete with showtune-singing Robot Devil.
That was very sweet
The fact that Yay hates printers just proves they are both sapient AND intelligent.
It is widely known that an HP printer was the original machine that the band raged against. Edit: damnit too slow.
I love my hp laserjet 1022. It came out in the early 2000s, has no network interface at all, only does black and white, and just puts lines on paper when I tell it to fucking print. It hasn't needed toner is more than 6 years and has suffered ~4 paper jams in that same time. When it finally does stop working, Im getting another one online
Hon! Don't say this out loud! It will hear!
Not only is Yay demonstrating some humility, they immediately followed up by doing something nice for someone else just because they could. "You know what that is? Growth." Hopefully not followed by epic backsliding or some kind of self-sabotage xD
Canon printers are barely evil and mostly in it for the gothness. But HP printers deserve the hottest and worst level of all the Hells. ("HP" stands for "Hell's Printers")
It's a shame because the early LaserJets were unkillable tanks. But somewhere along the line they strayed from the light
Printers create indelible evidence! Yay can easily erase everything else.
printers are the real villains in *our* universe -- every office IT person
All of them *except* that one Brother printer that everyone gets and loves. Yay secretly has one of those in their room.
... yeah, I'm with Yay. As The Oatmeal once said (paraphrasing), printers are still as terrible and vindictive as they've been since their inception.
Printers are the spawn of Photocopiers. What did you expect?
This.^
Yep, that tracks
... Yay is absolutely correct here.
Printers are pawns of the real villains in the game of life throughout spacetime everywhere — ink grinders.
I saw this title in my inbox and immediately felt called out because I've been putting off replacing our colour ink.
Yay is not wrong. OK, Yay is never wrong, but in this they are even righter.
Don’t be racist, Yay!
Wow, outside of some of their interactions with Roko (and Melon) this might be the most "human" Yay has ever seemed
"HP" is of course short for "Hateful Peripherals"...
Good one!
I fix printers for a living and honestly? Most issues are stale paper, not updating your drivers, or user error.
Ours is temperamental about whether it will detect that there's paper in the slot. Otherwise it works okay.
Oh no Yay! As a veteran former printer tech with a 20 year career, this is a dagger in my heart!
Are they wrong? They seem to be some of the more cursed devices. At least the consumer ones, idk what commercial printing is like.
Everyone saying printers at evil when in fact they are purely chaotic
Ugh, I hate when I can't get my printer's alignment right.
I'm feeling surprisingly moved by this interaction in which we're reminded that (i) Clinton does actually have a disability, even if it's usually very well compensated by the prosthetic and (ii) Yay does actually sometimes do good things and isn't too much of an ass about it. A wholesome moment. Roko will be proud of them.
Yay's hatred is well-founded
I mean, Yay is not wrong.
Those vile beasts of The Pit can duplex my A3, if you know what I mean.
Well, my printer has behaved itself and printed every page well. However, it chews up envelopes.
That's fair, Yay.
Printers are IT‘s hell demons 😈 🖨️
universal consent, I see, in the comments . „well, you wanted a paperless office didntcha 😈 🖨️ we helped“
Damn clanker crankers!
Apparently the new LED printers *are* actually more reliable than older styles. They have less moving parts. And if you get one from Brother you will also be better off as you're buying from the least evil printer company.
It’s true
The wisest thing Yay has ever said.
Printers can be fixed using the HM. (Hammer Mode.) First, hit the malfunctioning device with a hammer. If it doesn't work, get a larger hammer. If THAT doesn't work, get Thor to hit it with HIS hammer. If THAT doesn't work, clearly you need a bigger hammer.
Percussive Maintenance
Yay is absolutely correct
Look, if you know the things that... APPLIANCE did...
Somewhere there might be a universe where the printers aren't evil. That universe is undoubtedly one of the happiest in the entirety of existence.
Yay swore a blood oath to wipe all printers from the face of the earth. I think it was right around the time Roko got a new haircut. Probably just a coincidence. https://web.archive.org/web/20260311051846/https://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=4508
I once actually got my long hair stuck in a printer decades ago while leaning over the feed to hear if it was running. My hair got sucked in on the rubber feed roller and my head was pulled flat to the plate. Couldn’t reach the controls or the power cord, so I SCREAMED. It was after hours… Finally the custodian showed up and turned the bastid off. They were picking hair out of the machine for months. I hate printers. Mutter mutter mutter.
oh wow corpse witch mentioned
Corpse Witch is actually trapped in a pocket dimension being tortured by printers. Yay decided the authorities weren't effective enough.
That was nice, to help Clinton like that. You have to hand it to Yay...
Because if you don't, THEY WILL TAKE IT.
“Speaking of tumescence, can you increase the frequency of - “ “See our previous statement about ‘cannot’ and ‘will not’."
Yay hates them because printers are bigger divas than they are.
Printers aren't divas. They are hate-filled devices of the nether world.
My Brother laser printer is almost not annoying. As long as you tune out Brother's hard pitch for their pay per page scheme, and buy new toner on eBay like God intended.
Your Brother's (a) keeper?
Yay is a good cookie.
"Please. We are, at very least, an entire pack of Hobnobs."
I am positive that the band Rage against the Machine took their name after a horrific printer interaction.
LOL!!
don't tell me QC universe printers also disable 3rd party ink cartridges, they're better than that.
They do, but not because of corporate greed like ours. It's just that their printers are all sentient and they get grumpy.
Understandable the animosity towards the printer.
Printers are the BBEG of office equipment.
Printers were evil back in the day of line printers, and they have not improved. They always found a way to bugger the paper feed so the perfs fell in the middle of the page of text.
I clearly remember that, Sleepy John. It should not have been possible, and yet it happened.
Now I'm getting flashbacks to printers best forgotten. 😭😡
Everyone's a little bit racist, even Yay
Yay definitely cannot fix that printer. Printers are unfixable.
No one disables someone’s implant because they’re behind on their monthly payments. (i hope)
There are children born deaf in India who got free cochleal implants. Which are losing support if they don't pay for the new 2.0 model. Leaving them worse off, because they haven't learned any ISL.
My soul dies a little every time I have to work with a printer. So you are correct, Yay. They are indeed the devil's office appliances.
I had a computer science professor that basically threatened us, saying that if we didn't become good programmers we'd end up working on printer drivers and that's why they're all terrible. Wild lol
But... but changing the cartridge is just soooooo satisfying! *KER-CHUNK* https://web.archive.org/web/20260310024955/https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5631
Maybe Yay could make Clinton’s hand make that sound on occasion? On a random timer interval.
As a Digital Press Operator, does that make me a henchman?
It does! It DOES! Stewart, you are now, officially, an EVIL HENCH GUY!
And for one shining moment, the entire readership agreed wholeheartedly with Yay.
I am a printer and I resemble that remark!
Everyone hates interfacing with printers
"You do not need magenta to print this document! What do you mean you need that precise color to print in 'rich black'? Preposterous! If you weren't hardwired for this sort of attitude I'd reprogram you!"
"To print in richest black, please input the password verifying that you are, in fact, Anish Kapoor."
Yay hates printers with the heat of a thousand fuser assemblies.
Even more than Corpse Witch? That's a deep seated hate.
If you'd is the start of Yay becoming better at social skills, I'm all for it. They're super smart and very much aware of it, which is a grating personality of they lack the social grace that they clearly need.
If *this is the start
I refuse to buy another printer. I'll just send my docs to Kinkos for printing unless they are super secure.
Yay has been in so many metaphorical fields, with many metaphorical baseball bats.
I support Yay in this.
They're right about printers. Both of mine hate me.
Printers hate everyone. They are made of hate.
Interfacing with a printer damages your soul. Yes, even Yay's. Yes, even yours. Except for dot matrix. They're cool.
Are you talking about the droid in Spaceballs?
I’m not a fan of Yay. Now maybe I’m a tiny bit more of a fan.
That’s our Yay! Good … entity!
PC Load Letter
WTF does that mean?!?
They aint wrong. Printers are ass.
It is a maxim I learned early in IT work--don't ever fix printers if you can avoid it, otherwise you will become The Printer Guy. And they will take over your soul.
Lease all the printers!
I've worked in it for 25 plus years. Yay is correct.
Makes sense when you think about it. Printers (and their variants) are basically the only office machines with moving parts.
Printers are the villian in every universe.
I am convinced that the head villain in Hydra is a sentient printer.