[MHA] What do you struggle with the most?
(A quick note to say hi with big flailing, waving, loving arms to our folks who are new to the Lavendher Patreon community! I'm really happy you all made it here and I am excited to see your engagement on any of these posts this month and going forward in general! Now of course, please keep in mind, these prompts are for you. So, if you so wish, you can totally reflect on these by yourself! If you do choose to comment with a response, I am sure many (myself included, definitely) will like to read your thoughts and experiences. As a shared collective, there's a lot that can be learned from one another, and that's what makes community spaces like this so amazing-- we can share that with each other even despite our lack of ability to live a thousand lives as one mortal human being, haha! So feel free to collect infinity stones of experience, lessons, heartfelt thoughts, and much more from each other as we move through these prompts! And feel free to throw some questions out of your own! Whether they are just food for thought for yourself, for other people, or a question to just feed to the universe..!)
In 1-3 words, what have you been struggling with the most?
You may feel free to elaborate in a separate paragraph if you wish to free write. Remember, this is for you (and quite possibly might serve someone else reading too)! Reflect and find peace with the difficulties you've faced in the past, and even the ones still riding with you now.
Comments (12)
C.R.P.S. neuropathy. Also, possibly cheating with an acronym. Complex Regional Pain Syndrome triggered by a foot and ankle injury in 2013. I'm continuously trying to find treatments that help manage mine while also trying to raise awareness about it so others can get diagnosed early enough after suffering nerve damage to get treatment for theirs while they still have a significant chance of remission. If any of you or people you know ever develop excruciating pain way more intense than it should be in a part of your body (usually in a limb or appendage) either from an obvious, serious injury or out of the blue triggered by unnoticed nerve damage, please find a specialist to evaluate you using the Budapest Criteria for Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. Getting diagnosed and beginning proper physical therapies in the first 3 months is crucial to having the best chance for it to go into remission.
The support network for abused men is a wishful idea at best, for 8 years I’ve been told by various people that I deserved it somehow. I’m blessed to have a good therapist, but CPTSD means there’s no cure for someone like me. It’s hard to accept love from a spoon after you spend 2 years licking it off a knife.
Self-doubt and second-guessing for sure. It's... a unique and frustrating feeling, knowing something and knowing that it SHOULD make you feel good and at peace, but always feeling a sense of dread and uncertainty, leading to a spiral of dissecting and analyzing which ends up breeding more doubt and foggy internal dialogue... until poof, you doubt whether you were ever at peace to begin with... EDIT: oops, kinda missed the 1-3 words bit... gahhhh sorry for the paragraph :0
Sense of Self. I spent nearly all of my life trying to find myself - what makes me distinctive. I think about it a lot, what makes me who I am. Self identity, self worth, the full package. Not sure when, but at some point I've noticed my personality and identity is just a stitched-together patchwork of various aspects of others. I try to be as genuine and true as I can, but it's like part of me is never there. It's almost like being disconnected from myself. Who's the real me? I'm... apprehensive... at the prospect of unearthing that. It may be better to be hated for what I am than to be loved for what I'm not. Regardless, I don't care what I am or what I am not - just so long as I can be a source of comfort and reliability. That's more or less all that matters to me now. Geez, I wrote, rewrote, and contemplated all day. Didn't realize it'd be this hard to find the way to put it into words - sorry for the essay 😅
Future and Stability Figuring out what career I should do and how to live my adult life without making too many financial mistakes that could be detremental.
Post Traumatic Stress.
accepting that i can be loved. My parents didnt really showed me that and now i have trouble show it to me/ thinking that i deserve it
Not being employed, which has caused immense stress
The “mental image” of people about me
Irl Social Anxiety Cheating a little with the acronym but, face to face interactions with people often leaves me stressed and awkward afterwards. It is significantly easier typing out my thoughts than it is for me to speak them. It's gotten better over the years. But it hasn't fully improved. I just worry constantly that I said the wrong thing. Maybe I didn't speak clearly enough for them to understand. Was I communicating properly. It's a constant worry during IRL social interactions that sometimes even hinders me in the middle of conversation. Anyway, thanks Lav for a chance to vent something that's been on my mind a while 🫶
Are we talking sin or stuff in general? If it sin then it's lust and guttilon, if it general I struggle with stress self wirth/don't and unfocused
Anxiety/Self doubt