A Shard Among Leaves: Snakes and Swarms

[Snakes and Swarms]

“I’m just saying,” Anko waved her dango through the air, ignoring the way Kurenai leaned away from the saucy treat, “it’s been pretty boring around here. Even T&I has been empty. I’ve been torturing the same schmuck for the last three weeks! His fingernails stopped regrowing already.”

Wiping a spot of sauce off of her cheek, Kurenai gave her an indifferent look that showed just how much she cared. “Uh-huh.”

“I mean, it’s not like I’m asking for a war or anything.” Anko bit another dumpling off the skewer, chewing before continuing with her mouth still half full. “I just want something to happen. A kidnapping attempt, a rogue nin hanging out too close to Konoha, bandits, a bar fight. Anything.”

“And what exactly would you do if any of those things happened?”

“Beat the shit out of someone, obviously.”

Kurenai rolled her eyes. “That sounds like exactly the kind of fun I want no part in.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing. Nothing like a good scrap to get the blood pumping.” Anko licked the remaining sauce off the skewer and tossed it away.

“Yes, I’m familiar with your definition of a good time. It’s one of the reasons I don’t invite you to girls’ night anymore.”

“Yugao was asking for it and you know it. A woman who can only get some from a guy with lung cancer has no room to talk about a dry dating life.”

Kurenai stopped walking and turned to face her, arms crossed over her chest and one brow raised.

“What?”

Realizing that her friend either didn’t realize or care about what she’s just said, Kurenai sighed and continued walking. “If you’re so desperate for excitement, why don’t you just take a walk through the Forest of Death. I’m sure you’ll find something to keep you occupied.”

She realized her mistake a second later when Anko’s face lit up. She hastily backtracks. “Wait, Anko, don’t actually—”

“You know, you have shit taste in men but pretty good ideas sometimes.” Anko grinned, turning around.

“Anko—”

But Anko was already gone, launching herself onto a nearby rooftop and vanishing over the nearby building before Kurenai could finish her protest. The jonin stood there for a long moment, staring at the space her friend had just occupied.

“I need to stop talking to her,” she sighed.

“Are you fucking serious?”

An hour later, Anko stood on a house-sized tree branch with her arms crossed, annoyance plastered all over her face. She’d been wandering through the Forest of Death for over an hour now, and she hadn’t encountered a damn thing to keep her occupied.

A leech dropped onto her shoulder and she glared at it before flicking it away. That was the biggest thing she’d come across so far. Where the hell was the good stuff? Usually she’d be up to her knees in man-eating tigers by now!

“Maybe I should reverse-summon myself to Manda’s lair. At least he’d try to kill me,” she muttered, only half joking.

Movement caused Anko to glance to the side. The brush below her rustled, branches shifted, and something large crawled up the bark toward her. Her eyes widened. “What the hell?”

It was a beetle the size of a damn horse. The thing’s shell gleamed like it was made of metal and its mandibles were as thick as her legs, serrated and made for tearing. It looked up at her and hissed, fluttering its wings to intimidate.

“Oh hell yeah,” Anko breathed, a grin splitting her face. “Now we’re talking. Let’s see what you’ve got, big guy.”

“Please refrain from attacking my test subject.”

Anko froze as a voice came from behind the beetle. A small figure walked past it, running a hand along its shell in a smooth glide.

Anko pegged her as an Aburame immediately. Dressed in all grey and black, the kid looked like she was allergic to the air itself with all those layers she was wearing. A big wooden box was strapped to her back, making her seem even smaller than she already was.

Because she was small. If it wasn’t for her headband and the fact that she was currently tree-walking without a care in the world, Anko would have thought she was an academy student. She was just that tiny.

Anko lowered the kunai she’d pulled out, staring at the girl in confusion. “The hell?”

Yellow lenses flashed underneath a curtain of messy black hair as the kid regarded her stoically.

“I understand that her appearance is concerning, but please understand that you have nothing to worry about as long as I am here. Gigantification is merely a side effect of the abundant chakra in the area.”

Her voice was monotone like the rest of her clan, but there was a lilt to her cadence that irked Anko. She was trying to reassure her. She thought Anko was scared.

“Believe me kid, I wasn’t worried. You just blue-balled me from the most exciting thing to happen to me all week,” she grunted, displeasure obvious in her voice.

The Aburame seemed about as confused as an Aburame could. “You wanted to fight her?”

“Damn right I did. Not every day I get to fight a big bug. Probably not as fun as the tigers, but it’s definitely new.” Anko looked the girl up and down. “What are you doing here, kid? You look a bit too young to be prowling around these parts.”

“I am a Chunin and thus allowed access to Training Ground Forty-Four within reason,” the girl responded. Somehow, Anko believed her.

“My name is Hirari Aburame,” she continued, her goggles flashing. “And you are Anko Mitarashi.”

Anko blinked slowly. “Sure am. How do you know that, though? I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of interrogating an Aburame.”

“I read your Bingo Book entry. It was somewhat interesting, though quite sparse. Your entry has remained the same for several years.”

“Haven’t had much of a reason to go out and cause trouble.” Anko cocked a hip and an eyebrow. “You memorize bingo books for fun?”

“Yes. Informing myself on the blood-soaked endeavors of my enemies makes it easier to fall asleep.” Anko stared at her and she added, “That was a joke.”

Anko snorted. This kid was kind of funny. But she was getting bored again and she wasn’t here to talk.

“Alright, well.” Anko rolled her shoulders with a sigh. “It’s been fun chatting and all, but I didn’t come out here to babysit. I’ve gotta find something to do before I crawl out of my skin.”

She turned away, already running through her other options. The forest was a bust, but the night was still young and the bars were probably still alive. Maybe she could look for a different kind of fun.

“I would like to propose an alternative.”

Anko paused, glancing over her shoulder to find the girl watching her. “’scuse me?”

“You seem to be bored and looking for a rush of dopamine,” Hirari said. “I am currently in need of a test subject with intermediate to advanced combat capabilities for an experiment regarding Colony Forty-Four’s newest generation. Your Bingo Book entry suggests you would be a suitable candidate.”

Well the kid wasn’t wrong. But all that scientific jargon was starting to remind her of a certain someone, and Anko had no interest in being some kinda test subject.

“I’m not looking to be a lab rat, kid,” Anko said dryly. “Been there, done that. Go find one of your buddies to mess around with.”

“You’ll find my methods are much more humane and effective than what Orochimaru was capable of.”

Anko froze in her tracks at the mention of that name. The girl seemed to take Anko’s sudden silence as permission to continue. Either she had no survival instincts or she wasn’t able to read the tension that had suddenly appeared on the tokubetsu jonin’s face.

“Unlike your sensei, I have no interest in unnecessary suffering. My colony requires a threat assessment against a live combatant of significant skill. You would be compensated with an engaging encounter.” Hirari paused, tilting her head just so. “I feel correct in the assessment that this is something you will enjoy.”

Anko stared at the kid, her expression tense. Hirari stared back at her, unwaveringly still, her expression completely unreadable underneath her goggles and scarf. People knew better than to mention that bastard’s name to her; she’d maimed people for less. This kid either had balls of steel or she had no idea who she was talking to. Considering she called Anko by her name before Anko could even get a word out...

“You’ve got some balls, kid.”

Hirari tilted her head. “I’m a biological female.”

Or maybe she was just stupid. “It was an expression.”

“Oh.”

Anko felt the tension drain out of her all at once. She rubbed the back of her head, glancing at the beetle and then the forest around them. There wasn’t really anything else to do unless she wanted to get drunk. And she wasn’t looking for a hangover tomorrow.

“Fuck it, why not?” Anko sighed. “You better make this worth my while though. If I get bored, I’m gonna have to make my own fun.”

Her intimidating leer had absolutely no effect on the clearly emotionally stunted Aburame who just nodded. “Understood. I will ensure you are properly stimulated for the duration of the exercise.”

Anko snorted at the phrasing but didn’t comment, dropping down to the forest floor. Hirari followed her lead, with the beetle slipping down the bark of the tree on skittering legs.

Anko glanced at it. “Alright, so what’s the test?”

Hirari turned to face her fully, her goggles flashing in the dim light. The giant beetle behind her shifted, its mandibles clicking softly.

“I require an active combatant to engage my colony in a simulated hostile encounter,” she said. “You will defend yourself using whatever methods you deem necessary. My colony will attempt to overwhelm you through swarming tactics. The test concludes when either you are incapacitated or I determine I have collected sufficient data.”

Anko raised an eyebrow. Incapacitated meant a few things in her line of work, none of them pleasant. “And what do you mean by incapacitated?”

“Rendered incapable of continuing combat. Loss of consciousness, immobilization, or injury beyond what is deemed acceptable.”

“You think I’m gonna get injured?” Anko asked, amusement painting her tone.

“I expect it.” Hirari nodded shamelessly. “You are just flesh and blood and do not have the benefit of a chitinous shell protecting your squishy interior.”

Anko barked a laugh, rolling her neck until it popped. “Well, at least you’re honest about it. Most people try to be polite about the fact that they’re about to try to kill me.”

“I have no intention of killing you. Your death would be an unfortunate waste of data and a detriment to Konoha’s overall forces which I am attempting to bolster.”

“Comforting.”

“I agree.”

Anko opened her mouth, then thought better of it and shook her head.

“Alright, then. Let’s get this show on the road.” Anko pulled a kunai from her pouch and twirled it between her fingers. “Just to let you know, I’m not gonna hold back.”

Hirari nodded even as the beetle at her side seemed to shiver in anticipation. “Good. It’s best not to skew the data.”

The forest came alive with the sounds of a million insects, and then began to move.

Thirty minutes later, Anko was sweaty, bloody, exhausted, and sporting the biggest grin of her life as she plunged a kunai into the cracked shell of a centipede. Her snakes wrapped around its serpentine body, restraining it just long enough for her to end its life.

Anko panted heavily, her chest heaving as she slumped against the massive corpse beneath her. The centipede’s body was still warm, ichor seeping from the wound she’d carved into its head. Her snakes coiled around the carcass, their jaws unhinged as they slowly but surely began to consume the thing whole.

The forest floor around her was carpeted in dozens of dead bugs. The largest of them was maybe the size of a carriage. The smallest was the size of a kitten. Those little bastards were actually worse to deal with.

They’d been torn apart in every way she could think of. Their shells were cracked or scorched, their wings torn and scattered like confetti across the bloodied earth.

Anko herself wasn’t in much better shape. Her trench coat was torn in a dozen places and the mail underneath was soaked in blood. A nasty gash ran along her left forearm and was dripping freely into her trench coat, and she was pretty sure a couple of her ribs were cracked.

It was the most she’d been hurt in a while. And yet, she was more exhilarated than she’d been in months.

“Hah...” she breathed, wiping a streak of bloody sweat from her forehead. “Hahaha... fuck.”

She pressed her palm against the centipede’s shell, pushing herself upright as her snakes fell out of her coat and onto the ground, continuing to consume their new meal.

“Hey, kid!” Anko called out, wrenching her kunai from the centipede’s skull. “I’m ready for the next round. Send ’em in!”

The darkness at the edge of the clearing moved and Anko turned, raising her kunai to defend against whatever crawlies came running towards her.

Instead, she was somewhat confused as Hirari emerged from the dark, hands in her pockets. “I’m afraid I must call an end to the exercise. I promised my father that I would return home by midnight and it is getting late.”

Anko stared at the girl, her grin faltering for the first time since the exercise had begun. “You’re kidding.”

“I’m afraid not,” Hirari shook her head. “If it is any consolation, your performance was more than adequate. I did not expect you to eliminate more than twenty of my insects before they incapacitated you. This was very valuable data.”

There were a lot more than twenty bugs lying around Anko. She glanced around. “So then how many—”

“Thirty-seven.” Hirari answered her question before she even fully got it out. “It will take some time to replace their number.”

Anko let out a low whistle, though she couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at her lips. “Ooh, that’s gotta hurt. Sorry about breaking your toys, but you should know what happens when big kids play rough.”

“Your apology is unnecessary,” Hirari said. “The insects you eliminated account for less than two percent of Colony Forty-Four’s overall manpower. By my estimation, their number will be replaced in approximately seventy-two hours.”

Anko’s smirk flickered and she glanced around at the carpet of dead bugs surrounding her, then back at the tiny Aburame. There was no way, right? She’d just burned through most of her stamina and chakra just to take these bastards down.

“You’re shitting me.”

Hirari paused. “I... am not sure I understand. Are you asking—”

“Right. Nevermind.” Anko laughed. She ran a hand through her hair, wincing as her fingers caught on a sliver of chitin. “That was pretty fun. But maybe next time you could send a few more my way? I work best under pressure, you know?”

It was a joke, but Hirari glanced up at the foliage above them, her goggles flashing a bright yellow in the dim light. “...I will make note of that.”

Movement made Anko look up, and the Tokubetsu Jonin’s eyes widened as she was met with dozens if not hundreds of black, beady eyes staring back at her through the gloom. The trees above her were crawling with all manner of insects, big and small. There had to be thousands of them, all lurking silently in the dark.

“Holy shit...” Anko breathed, her heart skipping a beat as the bugs stared back at her. A bead of sweat dripped down her neck at the sheer number of them.

“I’m leaving now.” Hirari turned. “Thank you for agreeing to assist in this experiment. It would have been a hassle to find proper test subjects.”

The Aburame stepped into the brush without waiting for a response, her form dissolving into the shadows of the forest as insects swarmed around her. Within seconds she was gone, swallowed by the darkness between the trees, leaving nothing behind but a swarm of insects and a panting Jonin.

Anko stared at where she had disappeared, completely unable to track the girl through the gloom around them. Slowly, a grin crept back onto her face.

“...I gotta introduce that kid to Ibiki.”

The Next Morning

Dawn was just beginning to creep over the village, bathing it in shades of red, pink, and washed-out blue. Hirari sat above it all, resting atop the Hokage Monument. She lounged within a rather large crack in the Shodai Hokage’s headband. One leg dangled in the open air, while the other curled towards her body, her notebook resting upon her thigh as she filled the pages with the data she had accumulated six hours ago.

Colony Forty-Four, Threat Assessment Report.

Test Subject: Mitarashi, Anko. Tokubetsu Jonin. Registration No. 011226.

Engagement Duration: 31 minutes, 14 seconds.

Units Deployed: 42.

Units Exterminated: 37.

Incapacitation of Subject: Not achieved.

Hirari paused and added a footnote.

Subject demonstrated combat proficiency exceeding initial projections. Adaptation rate under pressure was higher than expected. Recommend deployment of increased swarm density in future engagements. Subject requested higher intensity. A second battery of testing is warranted.

She turned the page and began tallying the comparative data. The last assessment had been conducted approximately nine months prior, using a group of missing-nin that had wandered too close to the village’s borders. The results had been... adequate. The missing-nin had been eliminated, but the colony’s efficiency metrics had been unremarkable.

Judging by the data, Colony Forty-Four’s effectiveness against a live combatant of above-average skill had increased by nearly seventy percent since then. That was a seventy percent increase in village security.

And best of all, she hadn’t disobeyed orders. After all, Hokage-sama explicitly stated that she was not to create any new colonies within training grounds. He said nothing about continuing the thirty or so existing ones.

Host Taylor would be proud of her quick thinking, she was sure.