A Devil in the Dungeon: Under Review

Under Review

Tanya’s eyes snapped open as the girl awakened with a jolt. Groggy fatigue filled her to the brim but as always, her mind was the first to awake fully, already primed and taking stock of her surroundings as her heart hammered in her chest.

​What she found was a rather nice ceiling with decently spaced beams meant for bearing a heavy load. The walls were painted cream and accented by dark oak paneling, and around a dozen or so other beds were spaced evenly across the room, with her in the middle. They were unoccupied; she was the only one in the room.

​Satisfied that she wasn’t in immediate danger, Tanya next took stock of her current state of being. The memories from last night were already flooding back, a canvas of blood and desperation, yet despite that, not a single ache or injury seemed to remain on her person.

​Tanya experimentally flexed the fingers of her left hand, then clenched them into a fist. The motion was smooth, fluid, and entirely painless. She ran her hand down her side, feeling for the bandages that should have wrapped her ribs, or the jagged tear in her flight suit from sharpened claws, yet her fingers met the pristine, unblemished fabric of the white tunic that she was draped in.

​“At least I know I wasn’t dropped in some medieval shithole,” the girl muttered, satisfaction painting her tone. “Medical care this efficient would be impossible to find even in the twenty-first century.”

​Which begged the question; where had her death and impromptu nap landed her this time?

​Turning her head, Tanya spied a small pile of items arranged upon a nightstand beside her admittedly comfortable bed. The military green of her flight suit was unmistakable, as was the shape of her gear resting upon it. She reached over, gingerly picking up her pistol, and racked the slide, the sound echoing in the quiet room.

​Loaded. And the safety was off as she had left it. It seemed that for all that this world had in medical technology, they fell quite a bit behind in basic firearms training.

​Which could bode well for Tanya, depending on the disposition of the locals. Superior firepower often won the day, after all.

​Tanya performed a quick rundown on her gear. Every bullet was accounted for, as was her knife and the holster that had been strapped to her thigh. Even the cuirass that she had looted was present, leaning against the nightstand, metal scoured of grime and rust, though the dents still remained as a testament to the damage than it absorbed. The satchel was beside it, still bulging with the goods she had plundered.

​The saber had seemingly disappeared, though considering that Tanya remembered breaking the top half of it off in the skull of a rather tenacious goblin-like monster, that was somewhat understandable.

​Tanya’s musings were cut short as the door suddenly unlocked with a sharp click, the handle turning to admit an unassuming woman with her nose buried in a stack of official-looking documents.

​Given her circumstances, Tanya was on guard instantly, her hand slipping beneath the sheets to grip the hilt of her combat knife. She didn’t draw it just yet, but she was fully prepared to at a moment’s notice as she assessed the newcomer.

​The woman was dressed in an admirably professional ensemble: a grey suit jacket paired with matching pants, black gloves, and a tie knotted securely at her neck. It was the uniform of a bureaucrat or an administrative officer, someone who managed the logistics of an organization from behind a desk rather than on the battlefield.

​However, it was the features peeking out from the fringe of her brown hair that gave Tanya pause. Pointed ears, tapering to a delicate tip.

​An elf, Tanya noted, a dull sense of amusement filling her as she stared at the protrusions. It seemed Being X had a sense of theme. First a magical industrial war, now high fantasy. How incredibly cliché.

​One would think that a grifter peddling miracles would steer clear of magic, yet so far it seems my own was the only world where that is actually the case, Tanya thought snidely as she watched the woman. Though considering what humanity managed without that, it’s not as if it was exactly needed.

​The woman hummed a tune to herself, completely oblivious to her audience, and Tanya watched her move throughout the room. After around a minute of idling, the woman finally turned towards the bed. It was only when she finally looked up and noticed the pair of blue eyes tracking her every move that her composure shattered.

​“Eek!” The woman yelped, stumbling back a step and nearly dropping her entire stack of papers in a chaotic flutter across the floor.

​Tanya watched the display with a raised eyebrow, her grip on the knife relaxing slightly as the woman scrambled to regain her composure, clutching the scattered papers to her chest like a shield. Her cheeks flushed a bright crimson, and she took a moment to compose herself, smoothing out her uniform with trembling hands.

​“You-you’re awake!” she stammered, her voice high in surprise. She cleared her throat, attempting to retrieve a veneer of professionalism. “I… I honestly wasn’t expecting you to be up and moving so soon.”

​Tanya released the handle of her knife, though she kept it within easy reach beneath the covers. “I have a high tolerance for pain and a remarkable constitution besides that. Where am I, and who are you?”

​The woman blinked, seemingly taken aback by Tanya’s blunt tone. She stepped forward, pulling a chair up to the bedside. “You’re in the Guild’s infirmary, in the city of Orario. You were brought here after you collapsed in front of the Dungeon. I am Eina Tulle. I was assigned to oversee your recovery and intake. Or well, I wasn’t, but the one who was is on break so I’m covering for her for the moment.”

​Filing that tidbit away for later, Tanya focused on the more important part of that sentence.

​“Intake?” Tanya repeated, her eyes narrowing. “So I am a prisoner?”

​“Oh, no, nothing like that!” Eina rushed to assure her, setting her papers down on the nightstand. “When we searched your things, you didn’t have any identification on you – or at least none we could recognize. The standard procedure for unregistered adventurers who appear in the Dungeon is to hold them for observation and debriefing once they’re stable to make sure no… foul play is involved.”

​The last part of that sentence was accompanied by hesitation and a fitful glance at Tanya, but the girl was more busy wrapping her mind around the prospect of the institution she had found herself in.

​The woman had spoken of a Guild. Tanya’s knowledge of the setting was admittedly limited – she had far better things to do in both her lives than indulge in fantastical media – but some terms were universal.

​In this instance, Guild was likely referring to an organized administrative body managing soldiers or in this case ‘adventurers’. With management, came bureaucracy, and that was where Tanya thrived.

​“I see,” Tanya said finally. “And how long was I out?”

​“About two days,” Eina informed her, adjusting her glasses. “You made quite an entrance too. Marched right out of the Dungeon half-dead and bleeding and asked for medical attention before passing out. Some of the people present thought you might have died right there."

Tanya didn't remember any of that. Truth be told, she didn't remember much of yesterday – bloodloss was funny like that – but she was happy that at the very least, she hadn't let anything slip about her more... supernatural circumstances.

“I see,” Tanya said simply.​ Eina observed her for a moment, her brown eyes softening with a look that Tanya immediately recognized: pity. She probably thought that Tanya was some sort of child soldier which, while technically not inaccurate, wasn’t the full truth either.

​“I know this must be difficult for you,” Eina broke the silence with a gentle tone. “But I’m afraid I need to ask you a few questions for the intake. It’s standard procedure for situations like this.”

​Tanya resisted the urge to sigh. Of course. Red tape was the one universal constant across dimensions, it seemed.

​“Very well,” Tanya replied, shifting slightly to sit up straighter. She clasped her hands in her lap, the picture of a disciplined soldier. “I will answer to the best of my ability. Please, proceed.”

​Eina seemed momentarily taken aback by the sudden shift in demeanor, but she quickly recovered, pulling a pen from her pocket and poising it over a clipboard.

​“First, can you confirm your name?”

​“Tanya Degurechaff,” she stated.

​“Degurechaff…” Eina repeated slowly, the syllables rolling off her tongue with a hint of difficulty as she scribbled the name onto her form. “That’s certainly a unique name. I don’t believe I’ve heard a surname like that in Orario before. Are you visiting from another region?”

​Tanya offered a polite smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “You could say that. My home is quite far away.”

​“I see...” Eina said, her face twisting in slight confusion. “And do you have a Familia?”

​Tanya stared at her blankly, the word foreign to her ears.

​“Excuse me?”

​“A Familia,” Eina repeated. “It’s fine if you don’t have one, but if you do or have ever been a part of one, I need to mark it down.”

​Tanya frowned, “I’m not sure what the term means, exactly. Can you explain?”

​Eina tapped her pen against the clipboard, her brow furrowing slightly as she searched for the best way to explain a concept that was apparently so foundational to this society that it was a standard question for medical screenings.

​“A Familia is a group of adventurers who have received a Grace, or blessing, from a God,” she started. “The Gods descend from the heavens to live among us, you see. They bestow their power upon us — a Falna — which grants us the abilities to fight the monsters in the dungeon. In exchange, we serve them and uphold their ideals.”

​Tanya stared at her.

​The silence stretched out for a long moment, until it became uncomfortable even for Tanya. She blinked once. Then twice.

​“I’m sorry,” Tanya said, her voice dangerously polite. “I must have suffered some temporary brain damage. For a moment, it sounded like you said that gods descend from the heavens to walk among you.”

​Eina blinked, tilting her head slightly in confusion. “Yes, that is correct. They live here in Orario, within their respective compounds alongside their chosen children. The Loki Familia, the Hephaestus Familia, the Ganesha Familia... surely you’ve heard? It’s been this way for quite some time.”

​Tanya felt a vein begin to throb in her temple. Being X…

​The sheer audacity of the entity knew no bounds. First, he unilaterally decides that her lack of faith was a personal affront worthy of eternal torment. Then, after she dutifully serves and dies – again – he doesn’t just send her to a new world. He sends her to a world where he has set up a fan club. It seemed she had underestimated Being X’s creativity. A society based entirely on the whims of these ‘gods’ sounded less like a paradise and more like a nightmare tied up in high-fantasy wrapping paper.

​“Are you feeling alright?” Eina asked, leaning forward with concern. “You look a bit pale.”

​“I’m quite alright,” Tanya managed to grind out, her jaw tight enough to crack a walnut. She pressed a hand to her stomach, feigning sickness. “I’m afraid I’m just feeling a bit nauseous all of a sudden.”

​Eina accepted the explanation with an easy nod, though her brow remained furrowed with concern. “Rest is still the best medicine. Please, take a moment to compose yourself.”

​Tanya took a deep breath, shoving the existential crisis regarding the abundance of deities into a mental box. She needed to focus right now.

​“I think it passed,” Tanya said after a moment, gesturing for the woman to continue. “Please go ahead.”

​Eina hesitated for only a moment before relenting. “Very well. Let’s start with...”

​The next half-hour was an exercise in tedium that Tanya honestly found somewhat comforting. The questions were standard, repetitive, and precisely the sort of dull bureaucracy she excelled at navigating. Name, age, date of birth, standard questions that were impossible to mess up, but easy to lie about if needed. The routine of it allowed her mind to wander, dissecting her situation even as she provided answers.

​When asked about her origins, Tanya stuck to a half-truth that would be impossible to verify. “An island nation named Japan. No, I do not know the exact location relative to here.” She kept the details vague, citing a lack of memory as to how she ended up in the Dungeon in the first place.

​Finally, Eina set down her pen and capped it with a soft click. The sound signaled the end of the interrogation, and Tanya sat up straighter, already swinging her legs over the edge of the bed to prepare for her imminent discharge.

​However, before she could, she was hit with yet another piece of bad news.

​“That concludes the necessary questions regarding your identity and health,” Eina said slowly. “However, before I can process your discharge, we must address another matter. A… financial matter.”

​Tanya froze, one foot on the floor and the other still dangling in the air. Her instincts, honed by years of navigating the administrative labyrinth of Japanese bureaucracy, began to scream at her.

​“Financial matter?” Tanya repeated, her voice flat. “I wasn’t aware that the medical care here was privatized. If there is a bill, I am afraid you will find me currently lacking in local currency.”

​“It’s not just the medical fees, though those are part of it,” Eina admitted, looking pained. She picked up a different sheet of paper, this one covered in numbers that made Tanya’s eyes twitch just by looking at them. “You were unconscious for two days. During that time, you were administered several healing potions. Very expensive ones.”

​She took a breath and continued, the words rushing out as if she wanted to get them over with as quickly as possible. “If it were the guild who administered the potions to you, there wouldn't be an issue. However, due to the severe nature of your injuries, you needed to be treated immediately. The Apollo Familia were the ones to do so.”

​Tanya’s eyes narrowed, sensing what was left unsaid. “And let me guess. Since they saved my life, they expect me to repay them somehow?”

​“I am afraid so,” Eina said, looking as if she would rather be anywhere else in the world. “Furthermore, they claim that because they were forced to treat you and bring you here instead of entering the dungeon as planned, they incurred additional opportunity costs which have been added to the total.”

​She turned the clipboard around, sliding it across the bedside table so Tanya could see the damning figures. She stared, the migraine from earlier returning with force.

​“One-hundred thousand Valis,” Tanya spoke the absurd sum aloud, slowly turning to look at Eina. “And since I do not possess this currency, I assume the Apollo Familia has proposed a method of repayment? Perhaps indentured servitude?”

​Eina flinched at the word choice but didn’t deny it. “They have requested that you join their Familia to work off the debt. It’s not an uncommon arrangement for adventurers who find themselves in difficult financial straits.”

​“Of course it isn’t,” Tanya muttered, leaning back against the headboard. Being X truly had grown a sense of humor. She had escaped the draft of one world only to be virtually pressganged into the service of a divine fan club in another.

​However, Tanya Degurechaff was not a soldier who accepted conscription lying down. She had spent a lifetime as a salaryman, and debt negotiation was, unfortunately, part of the job description.

​Tanya tapped a finger against her chin, her mind racing to find any possible loophole in this implied contract. This was classic predatory lending wrapped up in the guise of divine benevolence. If she accepted the offer immediately, she would be admitting total liability and accepting the terms without negotiation. And giving up any chance of legal repose while she was at it.

​“I assume this debt transfer is a standard Guild regulation?” Tanya asked, her voice probing.

​“Yes, it is,” Eina confirmed, though she looked uncomfortable doing so. “To prevent adventurers from defaulting on life-saving medical debts, the Guild allows creditor Familias to claim the debt for service.”

​“I see. And is there a grace period afforded to the debtor to arrange for independent repayment?” Tanya pressed. “Or is the transfer of debt to the creditor immediate and binding without option for external settlement?”

​Eina blinked, seeming surprised that she had even asked. “Legally, yes. A debtor is given thirty days to settle the balance before mandatory conscription to the creditor Familia is enforced.”

​“Mandatory conscription,” Tanya repeated, the words tasting like ash. “And I assume the Apollo Familia is aware of this regulation?”

​“They are the ones who filed the paperwork,” Eina admitted quietly.

​Tanya suppressed a sneer. So it was a shakedown, then. A pragmatic move on their part, but infuriating to be on the receiving end of.

​“Very well,” Tanya said, smoothing the blanket over her lap. “I would like to exercise my right to this grace period. I will find the funds myself within the month.”

​Eina looked surprised. “Oh, really? Most people in your situation just accept the Familia’s offer to be done with it.”

​Tanya offered a thin smile. “I prefer to maintain control over my own career path, Miss Eina. I am sure you understand. Corporate loyalty is all well and good, but one should never sign a contract without reading the fine print, and frankly, being drafted into a religious organization sounds like a violation of labor rights.”

​Eina didn’t seem to know how to respond to that, so Tanya pressed on.

​“Now, regarding my immediate discharge? Am I free to go?”

​Eina started, a look of mild bewilderment crossing her features before she quickly recovered. “Oh! Yes, of course. You’re medically cleared.” She stood up, clutching the clipboard tightly. “I almost forgot – you are entitled to the salvage that you recovered in the dungeon. Since it wasn’t registered to any specific party as far as we could tell, it is legally yours to keep or sell to cover your initial expenses.”

​With a final, sympathetic look at the small girl, Eina turned and made her exit. The door clicked shut behind her, the sound of the lock engaging echoing in the now silent room.

​Tanya watched the door for a moment, making sure the woman was truly gone, before her head fell back against the pillow with a soft thump, and she let out a long sigh.

​It seemed that while she had escaped the hell of an industrialized world war, she had been dropped into a situation nearly as treacherous. The life of a debtor in an unfamiliar city, governed by even more ‘deities’, was not one she would have wished on her worst enemy.

Perhaps that was why Being X had chosen it.

Well played, you sanctimonious bastard, she spat in her mind as she stared at the ceiling. You may have just managed to find my very perfect hell. Congratulations.

The ceiling didn't speak back, but Tanya had no doubt he was laughing at her from on high.

The bastard.