Bad news - Read at your own risk
This is the post no one wants to write, but I think I need to tell you, so you know how everything is evolving. Not a pleasant read, so read it at your own risk.
I didn’t want to say anything earlier, so everyone could play the update without thinking about my situation and just enjoy it.
Let’s start from the beginning.
You know my wife has COPD. She’s sick. Very sick.
Two days after releasing the latest update, she got worse. We called an ambulance, and we went to the hospital. She had pneumonia. Serious, but not life-threatening.
The doctors started to do tests on her and, three days after leaving the ER, her pneumologist wanted to talk with us. He gave her a life expectancy of 1-5 years. We entered denial. “But that’s in a Gaussian distribution, right? So, there’s a chance of her living more”, I said. The doctor told us that yes, it’s an almost Gaussian distribution and that there isn’t anything 100% sure in medicine. There are outliers in that distribution, so she can live 15 years, but she also can live less than one.
We cling to the prospect of fifteen years as if it were a lifeline. Literally a lifeline.
But the pneumonia was still there, so the doctors wanted to do more tests.
During one of those tests, they discovered, almost by chance, a lump in her breast. They activated the breast cancer protocol. More tests. A biopsy, several CT scans, gamma scans, ultrasounds... I've lost count of how many tests they've done on her.
We keep getting more news. It just keeps getting worse. With those new tests, they detected a tumor in her kidney and two suspicious lumps in the lung not (too) affected by the pneumonia. In the lung that’s most affected, they still can’t see anything. They don’t know if it’s because the pneumonia is obscuring it or because there’s nothing there.
More biopsies will be necessary, but they can’t do them until the pneumonia clears up. But they’re already talking about the possibility of metastasis. The 1- to 5-year life expectancy is starting to seem too optimistic.
They’ll continue testing her next week. She’s been in the hospital for 17 days, and we don’t know when she’ll be discharged.
As for me, you can imagine I’m a mess. I’ve been going to the hospital every day since she was admitted. Right now, there’s nothing more important to me than being with her and supporting her in every way I can.
Because of that, since last week I’ve had to take unpaid leave from my job, since I’d used up all my vacation time for this year while staying home to care for my wife. In Spanish, it’s called “excedencia.” I don’t know the term in English. It means that, for three months (renewable up to two years in three-month blocks), I’m technically still working for the company but without having to go in or work remotely—and, obviously, without getting paid. If the situation improves, or gets much worse, I can return to the company during those two years.
That means I can finally consider myself a full-time dev. Dream come true. Not the way anyone would want their dreams to come true. A developer who doesn’t develop.
Because that’s the main reason for this post. Right now, I’m not able to develop anything. I’m spending as much time as possible at the hospital, and I don’t have the time—or the energy—to do anything.
I felt I had to tell you. I don’t know when the next update will be. I assure you that My Dorm isn’t going to disappear, but the pace of development is going to be different from now on. For how long? I don’t know.
I’m not writing this because I want you to feel sorry for my wife or me. I’m just a guy on the internet writing a story, who’s had the best possible marriage for the past 25 years (remember, my anniversary was less than two months ago. How things have changed!).
But I’ve always been honest with you about everything I do and about everything that happens in my life that might affect the development of My Dorm. You have the right to know. You have the right to invest your money in other developers who might be more consistent than I’m going to be in the foreseeable future.
I know. Family comes first. And I know many of you will tell me that. And I agree. But honesty comes second.
I don’t know when I’ll be able to read your replies. I’m exhausted. Physically and mentally.
I know I owe you the monthly thank-you render for subscribers. This month, more than ever. I promise I’ll do it as soon as possible. But today I can’t.
That’s all. I needed to tell you. I needed you to know. I’ll keep you posted if there’s any news next week.
Writing this post has been draining. But it was needed.
Comments (75)
Mi hermano, my G, be with her, we will never let a brother to weather such hardships alone, no te vamos a dejar solo. This is a critical point for you, focus in what's really important, her wellbeing, don't mind us, we can wait, she is more important, we will understand if you take a long "time out", just be with her Our prayers be with you and your wife, and God wills it, a miracle can happen
cuidaos.
animo para ti y tu familia.
Espero que no sea cáncer con metástasis, en mi familia lo hemos pasado con mi padre y estuvo con nosotros desde que se lo diagnosticaron cuatro años.
Nosotros, nuestras necesidades de actualizaciones del juego somos secundarios, como ya te he comentado en algún momento lo más importante sois tú y tu mujer dedicate en cuerpo y alma a ella.
https://www.facebook.com/reel/1335407328495753
Hey dev, I hope all is well, a friend of mine just sent me this, you’re the first person that I thought of, I pray and hope that this is helpful, please let me know
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. Great game and will continue to wait until you update us further. All the best.
I don't know your game or you as a developer, but I wish you and your wife all the best. <3
Sorry.. Had to stop.. Was running too long and managed to stir up some of my old feelings that had been hidden in the back of my mind. All I can say is. I feel for you my dude!!! ALL HAIL TROPE!
Trope.. So sorry for what you are enduring right now. I know that pain all too well on a personal level. Not with my wife but with my youngest daugher (37 years old, single mother) and my sister. My sister went through something with her husband who lived 6 years longer than the doctors expected him to live with an inoperative brain tumor. He was a genious but by the time he passed after living long enough to see both of his children graduate from college, get married and have children of their own. He hardly recognized family due to the brain damage. She passed late last year from heart failure caused by some kind of animal flu type desease. Her children and grand children survive and carry on the family name. My wife and I are raising our grand daughter under Kinship Guardianship so that she gets to keep all of the benefits her mother arranged before the big C took her from us all. She is now graduating 8th grade and moving up to high school grades this year. She has been quite strong considering how she watched her mother loose ground. We are so proud of her. We all have to do what we can and hope medicine and the doctors can work their magic for us. You and your wife will be in our prayers. Stay strong and keep her close and supported. Particularly if a mastectomy is called for if the mass is in deed C. Best to remove the tissues effected and stop the desease than fail at trying to remove it from the tissue. The shape can be replaced nowadays with some of the new "medical" things they can do.
I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Trope, I was heartbroken to hear about your wife and everything that is going on. During this difficult time, please know that you and your family are in my thoughts. We are all sending prayers and positive energy your way, hoping for her recovery. I will support you in any way that I can. Take care always.
I wish u and your wife the very best. Family comes first
Wishing you and your wife the very best in this basically worst of times. I hadn't heard of My Dorm before Tom from AGR linked to this post, so I've bought Season 1 now. Take all the time you need, the AVN community will still be here, particularly given your very honest transparency here... that matters a lot to many of us.
I am so fucking sorry man. Jesus. No one should ever have to deal with any of this. My heart breaks for you. Sending you and your wife all the positive energy I can muster. Take care of yourself and her as best you can. The game can wait.
Please take care of family. Make sure you take care of your health also, she does not need the extra worry about your health also.
The game can wait spend time with your wife and family. You are in our thoughts and prayers 🙏 ❤️
Real life comes first, always. Be there for your beloved, and take care for yourself as well, game can wait, you and your loved are more important. Our thoughts are with you. Take care.
The game can wait. Your wife and family are more important. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Very sorry to her that. All my best wishes to you and your family.
Will pray to Holy Trinity for you.
I am sorry for what you have to go through. Praying for your family.
*all the hugs*
Wishing you all the best -- will keep y'all in my thoughts
Do what you need to do, mate. We'll still be here.
I'm so sorry to read this and wish you and your wife the best. We will wait, as you wrote - family first.
I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this.
Take care of your wife. I will be renewing my sub, and hoping for the best for YOU and your WIFE. Not for the story, not for renders, but because you and your wife have shared a wonder with us and now is the time to dedicate that wonderment with her. Not with us. Make this time with her one where you will find peace and together enjoy the next untold days and years together.
Real life is more important, take care, but don't be a stranger, game can wait.
im sorry to hear everything that's happening to you, I'm not a religious an by any means but ill pry for you and your wife and hope for the best possible outcome for what your going through.. yes we all love your game but family definitely comes first and foremost so take care of you and yours.. I'm sure the lot of us are not going to be going anywhere and yes that includes me and you'll continue to have my support as much as I'm able to give.... hope all gets better for you and your wife and thank you for your update
I wish you and your wife the best stay strong both of you
Sending prayers for you and your wife Trop! ❤️🐸
prayers for you and your wife. Family first stay strong
please take as much time as you need we are here for you, my prayers with you.
Well God Bless and your wife and I will be sure to keep her in my prayers.
I wish you all the strength you need in these trying times
My thoughts and prayers going out to you and your family. May God bless and heal you and your family.
You are more than your game. You are a person living a real life, full of life's unpredictabilities, joys, sorrows, highs and lows. It may not mean much for someone from the internet you do not know, but you have my strength (albeit remote) to add to yours as you and your wife go through this. Stay strong and stay happy! Please say the same to your wife!
I am so sorry this happened to you and your wife. Sending my thoughts and well wishes your way.
Do what you need to do! Family should always be number 1. Good luck to you & your wife. 🙏
I feel for you brother. I have been through something similar with my late wife. She was two weeks away from a heart transplant when we found out she had cervical cancer. That put her five years out from a new heart. We had been married 42 years when I lost her 5 years ago. I will stay with you as long as you need. Take care of her as best you can because family is the most important thing in the world.
Hi, as of yet I heaven't played your game, not that it matters now. I don't think there's anything wise I can say in that sort of situation. I wish you both all the best. You specifically stay strong and take care of yourself, ask for help if you have to. Keep fighting and remerber medicine make discoveries everyday
Nothing ever comes before the ones we love. Take care of her and then take the time to care for your own soul before you spare a moment for anyone else (including us). Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife and let us know if we can be there for you in any way.
Having a father who had COPD and having friends and close ones - with easier cancer topics - I might have a bit a feeling what you guys are going through. As I'm in the middle of season 2 of your novel: I appreciate all the heart you have put into and I do wish you can give the same love you put into the novel to your loved one. I will give her all what she needs from life: to be loved.
It says something about your character, that in the midst of all of this drama, that you took the time to jump on and let people know what is going on. I am sorry that you are both having to deal with this. I wish you both the best.
It’s hard to find the right words for such a difficult situation. Just know that I am continuing my support because I want to help you and your family, not because I'm waiting for an update. Stay strong, family always comes first.
My money stays and i will rise my pledge, NOT for My Dorm or the next update. This is only because i will NEVER cancel my support for you and your loved one my spanish brother, you are a good man, one i will include in my prayers in such dark times… Three years ago my Daughter died in a Motorcycle accident caused by her boyfriend, he was lucky he died with her, otherwise i would be in jail today… At the end i hope and pray that this will work out well for you both in the end Trop, i really mean that. We love you and we will support you as long as you let us period. I honor thee brother, always.
Echoing what everyone else has said. Prayers for you and your family.
My Dorm will always be around take care of your wife
Family comes first, take care of them. My prayer are for you and your wife, your family.
Holy shit Trop. My thoughts and prayers are going out for you and your family. Healing, patience, understanding, calmed fears, the whole gambit. I think it's safe to say that we are all here for you if you need to reach out or vent. And I don't want to sound preachy when I say this, but having a computer or phone in hand may not always be available while you both walk this journey. There will be times proper sentences will be hard to form. Just remember that God is always there for you. He's promised to never leave us nor forsake us. When you can't form complete thoughts he will be able to understand what you are meaning. Focus on your wife and her well being, we're here for you both.
No problem at all take all the time you need to care for your wife. Hope she makes it! And best wishes to you!!
Damn, I hope you and your wife find the strength to get through this together. I wish you all the best. I just paid for a membership and I hope that the money you make here can help a little bit. Don't stress about the next update. Work on it whenever you're able to. We can wait.
Salut Trop. Bon courage à toi dans ce moment très difficile. Je souhaite un bon rétablissement à ton épouse.
Let me be blunt: FAMILY COMES FIRST! Me and your other loyal followers will still be here, a pause in things is fine.
Muy triste por la situación de tu mujer y consecuentemente la tuya. Como te he dicho alguna vez la familia es lo primero y ahora mismo los jugadores no importamos . Cuando haya una actualización sea cuando sea y si la hay perfecto. Sólo estate con tú familia y olvida el juego y a nosotrospor ahora. Sólo espero noticias lo más buenas posibles. Y recuerda que no estás sólo.
Nothing is more important than family, So take care of your wife and stay strong. I wish you both strength during this difficult time. Take all the time you need.
Health and family comes first Trop, take care of your wife and be there for her. Take all the time you need we aren't going anywhere.
Take all the time you need Trope be where your heart leads you for however long you need to. I really appreciate how honest you are. I know it will be hard but try to remain as strong as you can for your wife but at the same time don't hold everything in. If you need to talk to someone then talk to someone otherwise bottling it all up will consume you.
I wish you both the best during this difficult time. Family always comes first.
No worries, take all the time you need. Your wife is way more important to you than us. Focus on her.
Life can be great, or it can suck, usually some of both. Life is 10% what happens, and 90% how you handle it. Feel your pain....
Family first; we're just here to support you.
Take care of both yourselves
sending prayers Top
I am sorry to hear that Trop. My father had lung cancer. I can imagine how you are feeling right now. Please don't feel about not being here and be with your wife. I wish her to feel better. I know your fans will continue to support you. All the best for you and if there anything I can help with just ping me.
keep going and take care of your wife and you don't have to worry about support from us because I will definitely not stop supporting her even if technically we will never separate, I don't care about your suffering, I hope that you will have better things next time but never lose hope and remember that we are together in spirit and wish you much happiness and strength
This is something they didn't choose, so it's stressful. It goes without saying that we should wait and be considerate. I hope your wife feels better soon. I wish her all the best, much strength and hope.
Such difficult and devastating news for you both. Do what you need, take care. And good luck
I cannot imagine the depth of your experience currently but as someone that has been with this game from close to the beginning, life is difficult and especially with the things one has to deal with. I am here standing with you during your journey nonetheless as i understand and can relate to your situation, just wanted to say your not alone and people do and will stand by you, development or no development. Take all the time you need, you’ve got your priorities correct as far as I’m concerned. Stay strong brother as that what’s important for your family. Best regards from a concerned friend and fan.
I wish both of you all strengh during this time. You're right, family comes first. Take care of your wife.
Jesus Christ, I’m lost for words, I was a surgical nurse for 35 years and I’ve seen it all and no matter how many times you see it, experience it and read about it, it never gets easier to hear, did you ask the doctor if there is anything experimental that she could try just to give her more time? You’re in my prayers 🙏😢
My prayers and good thought are going your way. Take care of your wife, she`s the important one right now. I'm so sorry she`s sick. Keep your head up, be strong for her.
My heart goes out to you and your family!