Heatsick!

I just bought a £250 fan! I freaked out, okay?

I didn't even think I needed a fan, but after realising this heatwave is, at best, not going anywhere and at worst, only getting worse, it suddenly felt like the sensible thing to do.

Of course, every fan from Argos to John Lewis was out of stock! (Not even exaggerating!) After an hour of frantic Google-searching, I finally found the Shark TurboBlade High-Speed Multi-Directional Cooling Fan in Blush Pink(!) Clearly, pink isn’t a popular choice, but joke's on them because it's literally my favourite colour! And it will match my Cath Kidston bedroom curtains! 

English houses are built to trap heat, so when we get these horrendous heatwaves our homes become actual death traps. I heard on the radio there have already been thousands of excess deaths because of this weather, which is terrifying! 

It feels too hot to expend any energy whatsoever. But after a nightmarish day trapped inside yesterday, I forced myself outside for the one errand I can always manage: matcha.

I've become completely addicted to my go to matcha café's seasonal summer special, and at £7 a pop it’s becoming a big expenditure of mine. honestly worth it though, it makes me as happy as popping a benzo! Last week I had one almost every day. One day I even had two! I owe it to myself to drink this flavour into extinction before they take this limited edition off menu. If I don't consume an irresponsible amount now, I'll spend the rest of my life thinking about it. So naturally, it's my prerogative to sip until I'm sick of them. A challenge I'm more than willing to take on, even during a historic heatwave.

I'm wearing one of those basic bitch white tiered maxi skirts that every woman owns/ will own at some point in her life. Mine's actually from the M&S kids' section because in body and mind; I’m still a child. Lol. The age 10–11 years fits perfectly, and I believe it cost £20, which is incredible for a 100% cotton skirt that so far hasn’t been chewed up by the washing machine. Paired with rose gold Havaiana flip flops, or “thongs” as my Aussie family would call them. An airport purchase I’ve had since 2019(?) when rose gold was actually trendy. I don’t wear them often, usually just to the nail salon when I’m getting a pedicure. For the first time in years they’re getting worn beyond salon trips because it is far too hot for shoes.

I also have a chronic silk scarf purchasing problem. I buy nearly all of mine vintage from eBay. During cold weather I tie them around my neck, in the summer-time I drape them over my shoulders to protect my décolletage from the sun.

Earlier this year I found an amazing eBayer selling their late mother's silk scarf collection. Every one <£16. They arrived smelling faintly of rose soap, like they've been folded away in a drawer for years instead of abandoned in a dusty charity shop. No weird vintage smell whatsoever, which is important because I'm ridiculously sensitive to bad smells. It's one of the main reasons I rarely buy second-hand clothing.

I'm absolutely loving Lena Dunham's memoir, Famesick, at the moment.

After the incredible Cat Marnell recommended it in one of her monthly Patreon book columns, her review alone was enough for me to know I was going to love this one. If Cat tells me to read something, I don't ask questions.

I hadn't heard much about Lena Dunham— or so I thought. The more I learn about her, the more I realise she is someone who knows/ has known everyone. I knew her mostly by association through cultural osmosis, so it's fascinating finally getting to hear her side of the story.

I'm only about a third of the way through this wonderfully thick and juicy hardback, I bought it not long after it came out. It's one of those proper doorstop wedges of a book, that will age like fine wine on your bookshelf.

It takes a lot to really impress me as a reader/ writer, but you can tell immediately from Lena's language and vocab that she's intelligent. She doesn't write in that conversational, chaotic hot-girl drawl that I love, and naturally gravitate towards. She's more controlled and deliberate. I was slightly worried I'd struggle adjusting to her voice, but I settled into it surprisingly fast.

When it comes to memoirs, I tend to stick to what I know. Or, more accurately, I gravitate towards people who write in similar semantic fields. Lucas Gage managed to absolutely nail that deliciously feminine, gossipy writing style with all the pizzazz only a bisexual man with BPD could pull off (complimentary, not derogatory). His book was naughty, delicious, Britney-loving chaos from a man's perspective and I adored every second of it. I immediately decided we need more men like that. Hot-girl guys. They're delightful!

Lena feels completely different. She has the energy of an older sister who’s easily embarrassed and deeply insecure, yet grounded enough to succeed when on her own terms. She's never trying to be the archetypal hot girl; she exists comfortably within her own niche.

There are hot blondes, and there are cool brunettes. Lena is very clearly the latter, and I'm really enjoying reading from a new perspective. I think more women will see themselves in her. (Not me, though).

I'll deffo do a proper review once I've finished.

I'm also watching Girls— (Lena's first TV show, she wrote and starred in) alongside reading this memoir, which makes everything even more interesting. Seeing the show while reading about what happened behind the scenes feels like peeping behind the curtain. It's such a fun way to experience both pieces of media. The contextualise eachother.

One huge surprise recently has been Madonna's new album. Omg. As a sober, club-phobic, in-bed-by-6pm kinda bitch, I surprisingly had so much FOMO seeing clips from the official London Confessions II release party. I would've loved to have gone. I'm sure tickets were impossible to get, but had I realised it was happening, I absolutely would've tried.

I've never really been a Madonna fan. My parents loved her, so I grew up listening to her music in the car, but she was never someone I voluntarily had on my Spotify, until now.

I am obsessed with Confessions II. Especially the first half of the album. It's so ridiculously good that it's almost worth relapsing over, seriously. That's how euphoric it sounds! I seldom listen to dance music, for obvious reasons it is not my genre. Yet, that doesn’t even seem to matter here! That’s how I can recognise good music, when it can transcend someone’s typical genre taste and just be great music all on its own.

I'm listening to it now, while writing this, sitting outside my favourite matcha café with London's hot, sticky chaos happening around me. Madonna completely blocks it all out. On the opening track; “I Feel So Free," she weirdly sounds like Jennifer Coolidge, and I honestly think that's part of why I felt such a positive first impression. Lol! It’s so camp >>>

Her track with Sabrina was obvi made for people like me, but my favourite is actually the song that follows "Bring Your Love": "Danceteria." Kate Moss’s cameo in the music video is golden.

The whole album feels heavily influenced by Lady Gaga's Chromatica, both sonically and visually. After Gaga spent years borrowing from Madonna, it's actually really cute seeing Madonna borrow a little back. It’s not copying, feeling more akin to pop music eating its own tail— in the best, most zeitgeist-y, reference-rich way possible.

If you’re in Europe, how are you dealing with the heatwave? Are these expensive fans really worth the investment? …Promise me, you’ll read Famesick!!

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