Living my best January

It has been an incredibly deliberate decision of mine to do January very differently this year. January: usually seen as the month that punctuates the beginning of “new year, new me” bullshit. The month of new year’s resolutions; unpleasant things we already feel guilty about not doing, thrust upon ourselves during the worst damn month of the year. Right after Christmas when everyone feels fat and broke! In London, January tends to be our coldest month, the other day it was -4 degrees— during the day!! Puddles formed in pot holes freeze over, the grass goes crunchy and on those extra frost bitten mornings even the damn asphalt shimmers with tiny ice crystals. Everyone is expected not only to go back to work, but to do so with a spring in their step.

No, I say. I’m taking January off. And you know what, since taking all the pressure of work, bedtimes, societal expectations and general commitments off, I’ve never been more productive!

When you have ADHD, it’s unrealistic and frankly unproductive to confine yourself to prescriptive “productive” working hours, somewhere between 9am-9pm. I’ll tell you, I do my best work in the middle of the night! When expectations are removed and uninterrupted silence is bountiful. During the day there are simply too many exciting distractions, and looming pressures. During the night, the only expectation is to rest. Guilt is removed, and I don’t feel like I’m wasting so called precious daylight, decadently lounging in bed, writing sexual inuendo laden blog posts!!

This past week I’ve listened to my body and adopted a sleep/wake schedule that comes naturally to me: I wake up around 11am, when my alarm to take my contraceptive pill sounds. After dry swallowing that little pill, I lay awake in the artificial, black-out-curtain induced darkness for as long as I like, until I feel the natural push of motivation to get up and start my day. Every three days or so I aid this push by twisting open an Elvanse capsule and pouring its dusty contents into a bottle of vanilla Huel — My not so new, still fave, nutritionally complete meal drink!

Taking Elvanse gives my brain a break and allows me to operate more on an auto pilot basis. It took about two years of my infrequent prescription amphetamine use for all of those unpleasant side effects to subside. —Part of me wonders if this may be because over time the dose has weakened, as my body became accustomed to it. But I’m almost certain that isn’t the case, since I’m not addicted to these meds. I still feel all their benefits, but those super annoying side effects like; always needing to pee and having an incurably dry mouth have resolved!

Probably wouldn’t have taken half as long if I was taking my meds every day. But for my own sanity and safety I think it’s best I maintain short breaks from my prescription meds. As I say, I don’t ever want to be in the position where I’m addicted or tempted to misuse these. I take my recovery seriously, especially going forward into 2025! That’s one New Year’s resolution I don’t mind keeping!

My body clock seems to favor a bedtime around 4am. When that time rolls around, falling asleep feels effortless and the quality of my sleep is undeniably the best it’s been in a while. If I try to force myself to sleep earlier, —aiming for the “right side of midnight”—I end up feeling stressed and anxious, which leads to nightmares or worse, sleep paralysis! Pushing my body to rest when my mind is so vibrantly awake becomes a stressful and fruitless battle. So, why end my day with a fight when I can simply go to sleep when I’m naturally tired? Compelling myself to conform to a body clock shaped by neurotypical productivity-driven workplace demands is inherently misaligned with my natural rhythm. Unsurprisingly.

Diet pussy has seen some growth over the past few weeks, proving when I write on my own terms, I’m far more productive. This isn’t just true for my writing, though writing is a fair way to measure my productivity—and by extension, my happiness and satisfaction. These are, after all, key to keeping depression at bay!

I attribute at least some of this growth to posting more frequently, while also experimenting with and expanding my sources of inspiration. While this blog will always be a diary-esque outlet, I don’t want to constrain myself from writing about topics that spark popular interest—or simply my own personal curiosity. It’s all part of the fun!

While I appreciate my sleep schedule may sound dysfunctional to some, I challenge you to find a successful creative who doesn’t work the night shift and sleep all day. This routine may not always be sustainable, but for January it really is perfect. As the weather warms and I desire to leave the house more, I don’t doubt my bedtimes will slide forward as my wake-up’s push back. Though currently I’m taking great pleasure working within my own perimeters, as opposed to a predetermined one.

Also —

I'm thrilled to share that some of my promotional stickers made their way to New York City! It's such an exciting milestone for this blog and I want to extend a warm thank you to my new followers— from the City and beyond. Your support, or even just morbid curiosity, means the world! Especially since some of my all-time fave writers and creatives call NYC home, this feels even more special.

Obvi I had to have one put right by the Julia real estate ad wall!!!