Question time!!

Why does Elvanse feel like a slow-motion car crash compared to the smooth ride of Dex? Pharmacologically, this makes zero sense. You’d think the slow-release formula (of Elvanse) would mean gentle and controlled, but instead, it’s chaotic. Maybe the slow release just drags the violence out longer? A “death by 1,000 cuts” situation? …I’m sure Reddit has the answers.

Why did no one tell me that Depop and Vinted are good now? I’ve been avoiding these apps for years, haunted by memories of 2017 Depop, where people flipped knockoffs for Balenciaga prices—or just straight-up scammed you. (Yes, it happened to me. I’m still salty.) Remember those Depop chat meme accounts too? Screenshots of unhinged conversations between buyer and seller, war criminals of customer service.

‘Depop girly’ was never a compliment… synonymous with attitude and fake designer shades, bought beachside on a family holiday in Tenerife. Amber leaf baccy in the og sunshine yellow pouch. Those Nike skorts. American Apparel fluffy crop jumpers, £59.99, reselling for £70 ‘signs of minor wear and tear’, a close up pic gestures to a self tan (or vomit?) stain on the neckline.

But I guess inflation and collective poverty has humbled everyone? Because these apps have become a thing. Like, a necessary thing. Secondhand reselling has shifted from a grift to a lifestyle. Meanwhile, I was missing out! After a closet cull I listed a capsule, affectionately named: Things that no longer spark joy! - Marie Kondo, don’t sue.

To my surprise, I’m already making sales! Thinking it would only cause novel excitement if I shifted one or two things, I didn’t expect the dopamine rush that accompanies every your item has sold notification. Very moreish.

How did I only just discover the Red Scare podcast? The sexy, deadpan, American-Russian, vocal-fried hosts—Dasha Nekrasova and Anna Khachiyan—already inhabit the niche NYC pantheon of women I obsess over, alongside Cat Marnell, Julia Fox, and the like... Charli XCX’s song; ‘Mean girls’ allegedly written about Dasha.

Sure, they’re neurotically offensive, leaning into that salacious, entitled, bitchy commentary archetype that’s bound to offend anyone with a fragile ego. But let’s be real: pulling off this kind of satirical, unapologetically edgy humor takes intelligence—the kind that doesn’t need to apologise for being both sharp and uncomfortable. Red Scare feels like a refuge where political, cultural, and media discourse can unfold without the constant fear of being canceled!! To me, they are simply narcotic; I’m already hooked.

Lastly, on a lighter note, I feel amazing right now. After months of a soul-crushing depressive episode, I’ve finally climbed out of the pit and can’t shut up about it. What changed? Ditching Zoloft and doubling down on what actually works: benzos, amphetamines, and Ambien. Not to get high—literally just to quieten my mind and take the edge off. Like someone finally lifted a stack of bibles off my chest and said, “Hey, it’s okay to breathe now.”

And yeah, I’m doing everything I can to keep this feeling alive. Wish me luck!!!