Glasto girl!

Hey!! Sorry for my mini-hiatus (something I’ll likely be typing a lot this summer haha!) I have a really good excuse this time tho! I’ve been slogging it at Glasto with absolutely no fucking 5g at my camp and very sporadic and shit 4g on site… Also, it would be pretty fucking sad if I had the time (and energy) to write a blog post while in attendance at Glastonbury festival lol. That’s deffo not how you do festivals!!

I digress, glasto 2024 is now over and I felt so incredibly emotional that last night. My new festival bestie I made while at glasto (yes, I did go alone!!!!) and I absolutely made the most of those last hours. Unfortunately sza was an absolute flop. No fault of her own, she shouldn’t have been put on the pyramid stage, much less as the headline, closing act! I’ve never seen the pyramid field so empty, it was truly embarrassing. Whomever put her on that stage made a terrible misjudgement.

After enduring two hours of sza, while sitting down (because no one was even standing for her) we decided we knew we had to end our festival on a high! So we got hot chips! Covered in vegan mayo! And walked to Arcadia, where we shared a can of pornstar martini over a paper cup of ice under the magical radioactive glow of the giant mechanical dragon fly! - a new edition to Arcadia, which is usually a spider!

But I’m getting ahead of myself, describing my last night at glasto when I haven’t even told you about the first!

I arrived on site on Wednesday amidst a terrible heatwave! I almost vomited from heat exhaustion while failing to erect my tent, I ended up having to ask other campers to help me get it up! What a nightmare, I don’t think I’ve ever sweated so much! So of course, the very next thing I did was shower! I payed £700 to be camped in a filled with flushing toilets and hot showers so goddamn was I gunna use them!

I met my glasto bestie (we’d found eachother on a Glastonbury solo camper Facebook group!!) to watch the new drone show - which I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart, was terrible. Usually a huge bomb fire and fireworks open the festival on Wednesday evening, usually held over summer solstice! But this year, glasto was a week later! So the usual solstice celebrations were scratched. You’d have thought they’d have put in an equally as thoughtful show for opening night - but of course, it’s 2024 now so we got drones.

They were terrible, without even a backing track to accompany these very mediocre, multicolour lights in the sky. Which spelt out various things… ‘Glastonbury’ and pretty pictures… Maybe if accompanied by music (and fireworks!) this could have been cool. But as a lone event, it was very anticlimactic.

So bad it was funny at least.

Day two I wore my white, long, flowy, summer skirt - the one every white girl wears during summer festivals at least once. I ate curly fries in the baking sun! And then went back for a second portion… And a vegan chicken-bacon burger!

I was feeling quite overwhelmed though, still adjusting to the festival, lack of comfort, hygiene rituals and the fact that my phone wasn’t working!! I knew I didn’t have 5g at my tent, but on Thursday I wasn’t even getting it on site which hindered my ability to make any real plans! So I spent the day, enjoying my own company mostly. Walking around the site, taking in all the familiar and new curiosities.

But all that walking and heat became very tiring. After failing to make any evening plans, I resided back to my blow-up-bed and black-out tent! I fell asleep rather early, then woke up around 11am to read Britney’s memoir for a couple hours while sucking ‘candy kitten’ sweets, before I fell back asleep.

The festival festivities properly commenced come Friday. But I spent all morning queuing for a fucking shower. They were having terrible water pressure problems, so half the showers were closed. Meaning there was a terribly long wait in line for a shower. Shit happens, I can tolerate queues at festivals! They’re not unusual at all! However, it was a very cold and windy morning! I stood, visibly shivering, naked under my little cotton, floral robe. My nipples like two small pebbles! I may as well have been naked! By the time I got into a shower cubicle the water pressure was questionable at best, but at least it was hot!

I wore the cutest baby blue and white checked-floral dress and white lace tights today. I was very Sydney-Sweeney-Cassie-euphoria-girls-bathroom-Oklahoma if you know what I mean ;)

I found the most delicious food van! Serving these super healthy, feel good, grain, salad, hummus and tofu bowls!! Which were the only thing I ate for the rest of the festival! And I felt so good for eating them!! Real food!

While I was sitting a lady asked if I’d like a picture of myself, because I looked like a little fairy, sitting on my own amongst the nettles and plants. Cute!

Then, exhausted, I went back to my tent and slept for four hours. Awoken by my alarm, I then took double prescription amphetamines to wake myself up. I felt a lot better.

Back on site I bought a mixed berry smoothie which I spiked with a £7 shot of Havana club rum - delicious! I also bought a tinny pornstar martini for later.

The one benefit of alcohol being so damn expensive at festivals is that it stops me from drinking a lot. Spending £7 on 25ml of rum is daylight robbery! But, for someone with a past substance abuse problem and low impulse control it’s a great preventative measure. So I’d actually rather spend more money on alcohol, and drink less than be cost effective and bring my own alcohol, which I’d otherwise drink endlessly.

My friend and I met in the evening to catch a little Dua (meh) before the real fun began seeing fountains dc at park stage, then the night really began! The Charlie xcx dj set was so rammed we couldn’t get in! A frustrated crowd of people tore the material over the metal fence down, so all of us outsiders could still watch the set through the rails. Iconic. I even caught a glimpse of Charlie at the decks. Very #bratsummer.

By the time I got back to my tent it was near 4am, amphetamine logic told me this was the perfect time to have a shower, after my horrifically tiring shower experience earlier, a 4am shower did seem like a sensible idea… It’s just, I forgot how freezing cold it is in the middle of a windy, country field at 4am.

I also accidentally left my phone in the shower cubical which caused ten minutes of mad hysteria. lol.

Me at 4.45am, all clean, having just dried my hair haha.

But by 5am I was in bed and feeling so cosy and fresh!

Getting only four hours sleep, as I really didn’t want to miss Mary in the junk yard on Saturday at midday!!

It was hot and I was tired! I got on site early to grab a smoothie and food. Before heading to the bbc introducing stage.

Then I went back to bed! Waking up around 5pm. I missed quite a few acts I wanted to see, but sleep took priority here, I was dead on my feet. Chronic fatigue is my master.

But of course we trecked to Woodsies stage to see who the secret act were! - Kasabian! I sipped on my spiked smoothie and crunched on more amphetty as I watched from the shade of the bar tent. It was super packed, but luckily there was a screen up so those who couldn’t get is inside the tent could still see what was going on!

Notice how I look visably a lot worse here lol.

But-

That evening Coldplay were iconic! I know they’re no stranger to the pyramid stage, hell, I’ve seen them play it before (multiple times!)

But this show really was like no other. They outdid my expectations. The theatrics alone were incredible. The vibes, energy, visuals and atmosphere was just 10/10 magical. Haha and ofcourse I knew every word to every song, just like the rest of the crowd! So the sing along experience really felt like an all-singing-all-dancing American church service on a Sunday morning! Hallelujah!

There were lasers, lights, projectors, fireworks, flares, butterfly and star shaped confetti, giant rubber balloons and more!

By Sunday morning the shower issue had been fixed, so there wasn’t too much of a wait THANK GOD. I spent a while at the mirrors and plugs, styling my hair and charging my phone which was on critical life support.

I looked dead-eye-sexy in my amazing warm velour north face puffer.

…

I got some food, had a wonder, went back to my tent and had another four hour daytime nap, in a tshirt and thong with my tent door wide open. Thank god no one raped me in my sleep :)

Then I woke up and amphetamined up for Avril! She was fantastic and should have been on a bigger stage because the field was over capacity big time!

Every time you enter the festival site, you’re subject to walking through a bunch of security guards who ‘randomly’ select people to have their bags searched.

When I was selected, it was ofcourse by a young security man wearing black visor shades and a smirk on his face. Knowing I had nothing naughty in my bag I had no issue being searched, I was polite and confident. The man however, was rude and arrogant.

After finding no tobacco, no alcohol, no drugs he began to ask me personal questions -

“do you smoke?”

… “No sir”

… “do you drink?”

… “I’m on medication sir”

… “and you don’t do drugs either?”

He questioned me, with very genuine sincerity … “no sir”.

“Well why are you even at a festival then?”

He asked me.

Those were his exact words.

He thought it was so crazy that I didn’t partake in ‘partying’ that I just shouldn’t be at a festival all together.

Men will always find a way to belittle women and this man was belittling me for being sober!!! Like what the hell!

And I’m not even sober sober, like I said, I’d been drinking responsibly at the festival. But I hadn’t told him that. I told him I was sober, as I do identity as a sober person; the ethos, attitude and lifestyle.

It’s easier to say I’m sober than to explain that I have a very difficult relationship with drugs and alcohol, so the way I use them is very particular and thoughtful. Something a lot of people wouldn’t understand, so why bother.

But imagine if I didn’t have the strength and confidence in my sobriety that I thankfully do have?

Having someone belittle me and question my right to attend a festival just because I’m sober could easily be enough to seriously trigger someone into a relapse!

He wouldn’t quit making fun of me either, repeating himself. Questioning why was I at Glastonbury - a festival which although is known for its partying, is also very sober-aware.

There are posters for daily cocaine anonymous meeting groups everywhere on site! As well as many peace, quiet and wellness tents! Glasto festival is very set up for sober and neurodiverse people!

What I also found crazy was the ableist attitude he had. I told him I wasn’t drinking because I was on medication, as I motioned to my boxes of prescription meds on the table beside my shoulder bag. Yet this wasn’t even sufficient reason (in his mind) for me not to be drinking! As he suggested it’s best I don’t attend the festival than attend it sober.

I don’t know what kind of power play he was pulling, but it was all just so crazy! Belittling someone for being sober is crazyyyy. Especially as a security guard whose job was literally looking for illegal drugs to confiscate!

I suppose he thought if he couldn’t intimidate a girl by taking away her drugs, then he’d (try to) intimidate one for not having drugs he could take!

I didn’t care though. This experience pissed me off and his general attitude was very concerning to me. However, I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. And I didn’t bother. I just smiled and told him I was a ‘good girl’.

Other than this man, I had extremely pleasant experiences with all the staff on site. And I’d never normally complain, I know security are rude by nature. But his reason for being rude was literally so uncalled for. He should have been happy I didn’t have drugs, as it was his job to stop them from coming into the festival! Yet he seemed disappointed.

This experience reminded me that as much progress has been made, sobriety is still stigmatised and misunderstood. Which makes recovery really difficult. This was in fact the first festival I’ve ever done without using illegal drugs! Though I had bought a couple pills with me, I decided against taking them and just stuck to my adhd meds and klonopin, all be it a little more liberally than usual. Although not by any crazy means! I was taking them every four hours as usual. It’s just my days were much longer than usual.

Glastonbury is the most magical place on earth and every year I go to the festival it is a true blessing - not just because it’s so damn hard to even get a ticket. But because the festival grounds themselves are built on ancient land with a magical history. Glastonbury tor looks over the festival in its grand, strange beauty. Only once you’ve experienced the festival will you truly understand the feeling of being at the festival.

As most of yall know, I’ve been going to Glastonbury festival since I was a baby, at one year old! So the site and surroundings are very nostalgic and hold a special place in my heart. Going alone this year was, I’ll admit, a lot harder than I thought it would be. When you endure something bad/ hard with a friend by your side, you can laugh about it, call it a trauma bonding experience. But when something bad/ hard happens alone it just depresses you. And that morning I had to queue for ages in the freezing cold for a shower nearly broke my spirit. I was left feeling deflated, anxious and depressed. But after connecting with my festival friend, I did feel a lot better. :)

It was incredibly brave of me to go to a festival alone, as a woman in my early 20’s. But Glastonbury is actually a really safe space for women. I felt much safer there than a night out in London that’s for sure! Every evening ( well 3am, so technically morning) I had to walk back to my tent alone, and at no point did I feel unsafe. Despite the fact my phone didn’t even work!!

The staff at the entrance of my campsite were incredibly friendly and kind to me. I felt if there ever was a problem, I had people I could go to for help.

The view from my campsite was magical

I suggest that everyone goes to a festival alone at least once, it’s great to do something that scares you! I feel so much stronger as result. It forced me to do so many things I would never usually (feel able to) do.

I find it difficult to rely on myself, as my body (health) has and continues to let me down. But leaving my comfort zone (for five days!) was empowering.

And although I was lucky enough to make a friend, even this in itself is a challenge for most people! Meeting someone you’ve met on a Facebook group is a funny thing to do. I was incredibly lucky that she ended up being so lovely and we had a fabulous time together!

As I’m on my little outreach mission at the moment, ofcourse I bought some of my diet pussy QR stickers to the festival site. I didn’t want to sticker-litter on anyone’s property. So where I did choose to stick them was thoughtful. - Thusly I didn’t get as many up as I’d hoped. But if any of you readers are here from my Glasto stickers - hey sexy! Thanks for joining us!

I hope y’all enjoyed this diary-with-pictures style post! This blog started as a semi-anonymous outlet, but I think sharing photos sometimes is fun!

Thanks for reading!