S4E30: The Fast and the Furious

Not the Tran on Tran violence against Jesse 😞

Regarding Mormon Hell, I may not be up to date on any recent doctrinal patch updates since I've been out for a couple years, but basically nobody who actually lived on earth short of Judas Iscariot and Cain are going to Outer Darkness, as that's basically reserved for Lucifer and his third of the host of heaven and those who have performed similar acts of direct rebellion against God within his physical presence. Paul "Hollywood" Walker wouldn't make the cut, and neither would basically any person someone with normal morals would describe as a monster, and all end up in the Least Good Heaven

Listening and waiting for 31 minutes for the moment they mention the thing I've been telling ppl since it came out: Fast & Furious was an attempt to do aughts Point Break Finally vindicated after decades of friends looking at me confused.

I think the incredible weirdness of the truckers defending their. uh. DVD players. makes a lot more sense with the original script where it was just regular drugs but they changed it so the torettos are more anti-hero

Hey, long time KJB Type III listener, geriatric millennial subtype here. I’m really loving your The Fast and the Furious episode, it’s one of my favorite movies, there are numerous lines that run through my head to this day (“Bullshit, asshole. Nobody likes the tuna here.”) and probably effected my ideas of masculinity and homosocial relationships. This was the first mainstream representation of the import tuning/street racing scene. As such it had incredible buzz in the year before release and was received favorably by enthusiasts. NFS and Saint’s Row are pulling from here. The movie was ‘well researched’ and the technobabble is generally intelligible and only a few things (DANGER TO MANIFOLD) are stupid in a funny way if you know cars. For better or worse, any time I’m going full-send on a bike or snowboard I’m at least mentally quoting Mr. Rule’s iconic, “Menage aaaaaaa!!!” The car scene was largely racially segregated at the time, but fwiw, nobody would have interpreted Race Wars to be anything but an automotive. Simpler times. Thank you Nova for respecting Dom’s Dodge. As someone who grew up in California I definitely had some Vietnamese friends with a suspicious but amount but legitimate electronics. Jettas were decidedly not lesbian coded in that era. They were sorority girl-coded. Or specifically Jesse-coded. Absolutely no argument on the misogyny score. I appreciate Nova giving back one point for how Ped Walker’s relationship with Mia. The car scene is a little better with the ‘using women as props’ thing these days. I was at a show last week and an exhibitor had a male model standing next to a car, so there’s been some growth, but I also heard some attendees comment negatively about that so if you need to kill us with fire, I understand. Glad you enjoied the movie and about the rest, at least there aren’t 26 of em.

I used to work at a museum that was on the road where they filmed the truck heist scene

Can confirm, I am the transfem who wants some ~2001 CRT monitors. I have plenty of monitors but I can always use more. Also, fun fact: There's a floppy disk in the movie! I giffed it for my tumblr.

Devon, I heard and want to aggressively and blissfully acknowledge your “Amontillado” comment when Abi said “put him in the wall”.

As someone totally unfamiliar with TFATF, I was expecting the reveal of [denoument] to be good, and boy was I right!

I look forward to being rewarded by a lifetime of "being up for the moment" by being welcomed into Anarchy99

The degree to which I was not fucking prepared for the denouement

I hope Los Bandoleros gets included along with Fast & Furious when they get to it. It's a real glimpse into what Vin Diesel loves about the characters, and it will pull down the smarm score of the movie if it's allowed to be counted with it because his sincerity shines through the whole thing in a way that is absolutely nonexistent in the feature films.

The Brian Pedophile joke really reminds me of the German roofing company named after it's founder, Thomas "N-word"

Please, dont only do XXX 2. The first one is actualy kinda good and was my introduction to Ramstein at the age of about 10.

Misunderstood what "bike territory" meant. Thought they were about to confront a gang themed around the Tour De France

Leaving this at the start, so maybe it comes up later, but have you considered having Victoria on for these as a designated driver?

I might regret sharing this but, I was (past tence) a london metropolitan police officer and am now a trans woman. Not undercover exactly but certainly hiding in an egg shell inside a closet. Coincidentally, the first trans person I knowingly met was another officer. He was an openly trans man who had transitioned while in the job. We got along really well for reasons that weren't fully apparent at the time.

On the one hand, we're now in Fast and Furious Hell and I won't be able to entertain the idea of the gang doing Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (definitively in the dregs of Heist season but I'd love to see them cover it because Clint Eastwood and Jeff Bridges get unreasonably gay with it) for like, ever, but on the other hand I'm glad we're back to slop so I don't feel bad about not seeing each upcoming movie in advance. Except maybe Tokyo Drift.

I'm so excited for these movies to break the smarm score

Nah, she can totaly drive in those shoes, I regularly drive in these https://www.converse.com.au/media/catalog/product/a/0/a05347_0.jpg?optimize=low&fit=bounds&height=&width=

In preparation for 2 Fast 2 Furious, I heartily recommend a video essay by Ben From Canada about how the film textually has a gay love triangle in it https://youtu.be/l2PqynUel2E?si=tDkFqD4cw7SbNSUl

I hope they cover Titane in a bonus

being a trans woman called Jessie who said hi to November at the ball kicking before this episode was recorded makes listening to this episode very interesting

Paul Walker did not have a warrant to search Hector's garage; he had just cars.

I beg you to cover Chronicles of Riddick it is about 9/11 from the pan-Arab perspective. I have been obsessed with it for 20 years and I still have no idea if it's good.

cop called PC Pedophile call that Nonceminative determinism

There is another word for that, French director

If you ever want to talk about the Race in the Desert, long time youtuber Woolie Vs calls his videos about racing games that. I would like to point out he's also a Big Black guy with Dreads and he usually plays with other people of color. But yeah, you can call the Race in the Desert the Woolie 500, i think he'd enjoy the shout out. He also does videos with Eyepatch Wolf, the 3rd most famous Irish person on YouTube.

I've been reading Second Skin: Inside the Worlds of Fetish, Kink and Deviant Desire by Anastasiia Fedorova, which has a chapter that's about the author's own unabashed car fetish. So I feel marginally better equipped to watch films where they want to fuck the cars now, even if I didn't really see the appeal; it did make me realise underground carparks are kinda hot, though. I am glad Devon made the comparison to Duel though, because the way they have detailed shots of the truck driver very intentionally reloading the shotgun but only the most distant shots of his actual face felt VERY reminiscent of it.

For context, some of the car dialogue in the film is actually inaccurate

I cannot wait for "IT'S LIKE A HO-ASIS IN HERE"

"Tell me more about audible sound" yeah that's right abigail I can tell a Yahtzee Croshaw refernce when I hear one. I see you.

The hogs demand Victoria Scott be a guest on this series as soon as possible! great ep love the show.

OK so do the put something in the estrogen or something because upwards of 50% of the trans women I know have vintage CRTs. Or maybe they all saw I Saw The TV Glow and took it too literally?

yoooooo! now that you're in the inescapable vin diesel zone, y'all should do the riddick movies too! it would make *this* woman in her 40s very happy

as someone who has watched 'hobbs & shaw' can i please strongly recommend that a Samoan guest join you for that episode?

Paul Walker's last words were 'actually, it's ephebophilia' right before he was burned to a crisp

I have listened to about 14 hours of your Sex and the City 2 review. I am *so* hype for SatC 1!

They go to space. You shan't get bored

Are you aware of the 2 Trans 2 Furious zine published by the good folks of Gender Reveal? I bet Tuck or Niko would gladly come be trans about F&F on mic if there was a desire for any guests in this series!

That conversation about this podcast getting people through tough times hits different when you realise the tough time you're about to go through is your favourite podcast spending a third of a year talking about Fast and Furious movies.

yes XxX yes yes yes my dream from the very beginning of the podcast finally comes true

As someone who lives in Florida its insane that theres whole societies where people simply dont have to drive. Its like being a medieval peasant in a hovel and your neighbor has christmas lights

XXX3: The Return of Xander Cage is unironically a masterpiece dumb action movie and I hope very much that you cover it.

Have you considered the xXx series for a live show?

I was looking at the first few movies on Wikipedia and encountered a disambiguation note between 2 Fast 2 Furious and Too Fat Too Furious (or Vet Hard in Dutch [which does, unfortunately, translate to Fat Hard]) and while I dread knowing anything more about this movie because of the name it seems like it would make a great bonus episode (or intermission for Fast and Furious, because it does seem to be a heist movie) to throw in somewhere in the next 4 months. It's a Dutch film from 2005 and the plot synopsis on Wikipedia also makes it seem like it also has big Eurospy vibes as well. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Too_Fat_Too_Furious It seems wholly cursed but once I had knowledge of it I felt obligated to share.

A comedian (I think it was Nish Kumar?) had a great bit where he was talking about how it was weird that Danny Dyer only joined East Enders in 2013 because it felt like he'd been there from the start; and he said it was like how the Rock wasn't in Fast and Furious until the fifth one. A SCUM of 12 is wild, lol, but it's science so I can't dispute it while my lab costume is at the cleaners.

I really hope you watch until you get to the one that opens with vin diesel praising the spirit of the cuban people

As soon as Top Gear got mentioned I was counting down the *seconds* before someone made a Bottom Gear joke. Thank you for your service, Nova.

Listening to this while doing my job as a high school janitor and catching strays from Dom channeling through November. Least I still got my car so Vin Diesel might think I'm cool.

I am in a semi-truck/lorry driving Facebook group, and they do refer to people who drive cars as "four wheelers" the noble truck driver culture movie is "Convoy", in which an old man describes his life as a trucker by describing Marx's theory of alienation from your labor

Agent Cody Banks (Frankie Muniz) bought the VW Jetta from this movie.

It’s hard to kill with a car a motorcyclist who is actively trying not to die. The thing is, many motorcyclists wake up in the morning and choose death. At which point it becomes trivially easy to kill them with a car because all you need to do is change lanes normally.

Point Break, brought to you by Fatburger.

Obligatory "dom's signature car is a dodge challenger and not charger" comment

So I was actually part of the underground drag racing scene in my hometown when I was 16 because my boyfriend at the time had a Supra (generation before the one in the movie). This was in late 2006, so this movie loomed large in our lives. I thought I was straight (nope) and female (nope), and my ex treated me like a trophy. But I was also the "cool" girlfriend that a lot of his buddies coveted because I actively worked on the cars, I would be in the car during the race, I "wasn't like other girls," I was "hella fun to hang out with," I had a "different energy," I was "kind of like one of the guys." So basically when I was 16-18 years old, I was involved in the Bay Area drag race scene and a few of the guys also involved actively wanted to have sex with a baby transmasc with big dyke energy. So I hope a lot of them found peace and a nice man to take care of them.

Just to jump re the chat up top, I also want to thank you you all for making this podcast. Absolutely is helping keep me going at the moment whilst facing unexpected moving flats and family illness by letting focus on something else for 90 minutes ❤️ could I literally manage without the pod? Probably? Do I want to? Absolutely not ❤️

4 months of fast and the furious. A third of the year already allocated to fast and the furious

If I ever seen November I will act like one of those people from the New testament when Jesus rocks up into town.

You guys did also help me through some rough gender times as a calming, affirming and occasionally libelous podcast. Also do a Tyne and Wear live show

Thank FUCKING GOD for this

you sick freak what have you done with the wine .... get out of my vineyard you pervert

... Okay that is a lot of names

donnie brasco episode!!!!!!!

If I remember 2 Fast 2 Furious correctly I'm reasonably confident 12 is the lowest SCUM score we'll see for a while

I was so worried you were going to suggest XxX 2 and, by your rules, skip the original XxX and miss one of the greatest Russian guys of all time, and then somehow it got even worse. Looking forward to the train wreck next week.

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Me when Abi mentions women as set dressing being a feature: oh you sweet summer child.

“raceworz” is a real moto event. I have been to the race wor. Hearing it phonetically is crazy. There’s huge banners everywhere that say “RACEWORZ” lol https://www.raceworzusa.com

Your description of Mormon afterlife is good enough for general purposes. Also, I disagree that Point Break constitutes a 3rd movie type, as both Point Breaks and films about being trans fit into the greater category of "gender community." Thus the 2 categories of film are gender community and the fucking Escaton.

November fully chomping "Chevrolet Chevelle"

Holy shit I just realized that age 16 is when you get your driver's license in the united states. That's why Dom was suddenly interested in Letty. And possibly why Paul Hollywood dated that age: the youngest possible girls that are just old enough to drive themselves so they can meet you and you don't have to pick them up at their parents house

the way I immediately yelled BAAAAHAAAAAAAA it's pavlovian

Finally, the podcast episode that forces us to ask: is family being transgender, or is family 9/11?

T- 3 films till Gal Gadot

You've got to do Hitman with Timothy Olifant. He turned down Toretto, but said yeah Agent 47 is fine

I am plotzing and giddy with excitement! Finally the moment I've been waiting for since first season started! The next question is are they going to watch them in release order or in chronological order? We Fastheads know that Tokyo Drift is cononicaly after Fast Five. There's a right way and wrong way to watch the saga and I humbly volunteer to be your guide and SME.

This series is really going to display the insane American body dysmorphia shift that happened for both men and women's bodies over the 2000s. Bad the whole time but bad in new ways.

Huge day for me, notorious fast & furious scholar. (Did a whole fucking talk about these stupid movies for my friends online birthday party conference because gay people cant have normal birthday parties i might email a fun article about it to you). I’ve been incredibly behind on the pod for a Long While and have immediately tuned in for this, fuck catching up. ALSO wow what a great excuse to so a bonus ep of D.E.B.S.; because it stars Mia Torretto’s actor & it’s a stupid lesbian spy movie which every dyke should watch.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Abby is like Goku having her tail/balls removed removing her biggest weakness in combat.

I think the teamsters union probably were a state within a state at one point

The KJB Crew need to do XXX. the opening scene with Rammstien has defined my musical tastes for over 2 decades now

Car drivers are the most honorable vehicles. They live by the Chevrolet-ric code

Abigail doing a twist on Koschei the deathless & portrait of DorianGrey. She has stored her aging in her balls, which have been hid inside a fish inside a vault under a plinth somewhere in London

I really hope Victoria Scott is gonna be on for one or more of these

Not even the atrocious "Tomboy" (AKA "The Assignment") could make me dislike Michelle Rodriguez.

Fuck yeah finally

They've said a couple times that there are 11 films in this series, and I feel it is my duty to make sure the hosts of this podcast are aware there is a 12th, named Hobbs and Shaw, which stars Jason Statham. Also apparently the timeline doesn't make sense unless you watch a short film, which is upsetting to me

like November I also have a weird birthday movie memory. I saw Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter on my birthday in a completely empty cinema.

I love the idea of remaking Fast and the Furious but it's a bunch of T-girls stealing CRTs for their retro game speed run careers.

yesss can't wait for things to get entirely japanese (speaking of which if we're in car territory you should do Redline)

People recognizing podcasters and looking at them like stray cats. "Ooh I want to say hi, but what if I scare them and they run away"

Do you think the Down with Cis bus birthed the Down with Cis bikes

I have never heard them less excited for their next movie

Im so ready for the Pillion episode, was my favorite 2025 movie

Where is victoria

Not making Victoria Scott a guest for this episode should be a crime

Me and some friends several years ago marathoned 1-7 in one sitting (8 was coming out soon, ok we stopped to pick up drugs that would keep us awake) and, what a magical time i dont think ive ever had as much fun watching movies god bless and family

Speaking as someone who is currently going through it, I'm like; right new KJB, new franchise, I'm going to make a pot of tea and sit and listen. Just for good measure I've got a creative project I'm working on and I'm really happy with how it's going so I've got the work in progress in front of me so if I happen to look up at it I can remind myself that I'm actually achieving things.

hi as a Car Knower and a semi-retired semi-professional sim racer you guys should have me on as a guest for one of these films oh and also I'm one of the fastest trans women on earth at Sim-Racing I promise I'm cool and funny (yes this is all for the bit but I will come on the pod if Victoria is unavailable)

Took our polycule and freinds to see FastX at the cinema as they are unironically the best queer movies ever made by clueless hetros. The screening was a room of very enthusiastic muscle heads, their depressed girlfreinds, then a full row of trans girls and gay guys in tank tops wooping and cheering at every mention of Fambly and unbelivable sexual tension they think is drama. Cannot fucking wait for all of these.

So is he Pedo Paul or Pedo Walker?

Can’t wait to hear the pod’s thoughts as this series evolves.

It's kind of weird being a cis het guy engaging in a community of mostly trans people like this podcast; it's not really made for me, I definitely exist on the periphery, and I know I'll never really belong. I've had a pretty good year, all things considered, I just listen to this show for entertainment and intellectual stimulation. I'm glad it's helped people who have needed it.

It's so interesting to hear how non car people think about these movies as a car girl, because we absolutely do talk in numbers. I'm also screaming at the fact they're not talking about the model of cars that would be notable to me

OH BOY, HERE WE GO

Perfect episode to listen after failing my driving test for the third time.

Oh I'm so ready for this

The gasp I let out on getting the notification about this- I love these stupid stupid films, let’s go!

I once spent a few months living on a remote research station in the Australian rainforest that had one small rec room with a tv and dvd player, and when we arrived the previous cohort had left us every fast and furious movie and a very enthusiastic letter about how watching them all together could open our minds and truly make us family. We didn't watch any of them but I'm interested to see how this goes

This is now a podcast about family

Since the starting a franchise at the sequel rule had been retired can we get Tom and Demi for Spy Kids 1?

For a while last year I had a thing going where I worked my way through these films with a 100mg edible taken about an hour before starting each one and honestly fuck Citizen Kane that's real movie magic. I'm very interested in hearing the gangs reaction to Paul Walker being told Vinny Petrol "owns" him and seeming sort of into it. Glorious garbage series I love you.

Nova's voice training is really coming along

Let’s gooooooooo