[Public] March Update — Things Are Still Not Fully Settled

Hello, this is Aimaitei Umami.

Before I knew it, it was already the end of March.

Back in February, I was thinking,

“Maybe I’ll recover a little more at this rate, and I’ll probably be able to update my manga too.”

So I decided to wait and see for a bit.

And then it somehow became the end of March.

Hey!!!!!!!!

Seriously, how did that happen...?

It’s been a while since my last update, so this time I wanted to share where things have been at.

■ About My Health

The pain around my back and shoulders that started in February has been lasting longer than I expected.

There are days when I’m completely pain-free, sometimes.

But in terms of how it feels overall, it’s more like:

“something hurts somewhere almost every day.”

The intensity comes in waves.

Some days are lighter,

and some days it’s more like,

“ah, it’s definitely here today.”

So I kept going through my days thinking,

“Maybe tomorrow it’ll be a little better,”

and before I knew it, I’d gotten all the way here.

It’s not that things are steadily getting worse,

but it does feel like it’s lingering without ever fully clearing out.

Please stop lingering. 😠

■ About Daily Life Recently

I’ve been doing a lot of tidying and decluttering.

Having less stuff around makes me feel lighter,

and moving my body a little seems to help distract me from the pain too.

(This is a personal impression, of course.)

I’ve filled around ten large trash bags,

and for things that feel too wasteful to throw away,

I’ve been listing them on Mercari and Jimoty.

It was my first time using either Mercari or Jimoty,

but honestly, it’s been pretty fun.

No matter what it is, there’s often someone willing to buy it or take it.

Though if I think about it, that does make sense.

At some point, I wanted those things badly enough to buy them too...

At the moment, my rough system is:

larger or cheaper items go on Jimoty,

and most other things go on Mercari.

Jimoty especially has a bit of an event-like feeling to it,

since you’re often meeting people in person to hand things over.

People really are all kinds of different.

I might write more about that whole experience at some point,

because honestly, it could be pretty interesting.

■ About the Night Sweating

For the past few days, I’ve been having pretty intense night sweats.

I sweat so much while sleeping that I’ve had to change pajamas in the middle of the night,

and wash my sheets and duvet covers over and over.

At the same time, my thighs feel cold,

so I keep thinking,

“What exactly is going on inside this body...?”

What kind of internal design is this?

Every night, I go to bed thinking,

“I hope it settles down a little tonight.”

The human body is mysterious.

Even when I don’t feel cold,

it’s possible that some kind of unnoticed chill is still affecting my condition,

so I’ve been repeatedly rethinking my bedding setup.

But so far, it hasn’t led to much improvement.

It’s quietly miserable,

but well, all I can do is keep working at it.

■ About My Mental State and Pace

To be honest, it feels like this has been dragging on longer than I expected.

But what I’ve been thinking lately is this:

just getting through daily life and keeping my mental state intact in this condition

already takes a pretty large amount of effort.

It doesn’t feel like “I’m doing nothing.”

It feels more like

“I’m spending a lot of time trying not to fall apart.”

And that, in itself, is a considerable amount of work.

So right now,

rather than forcing my pace upward,

I’m prioritizing getting through this stretch properly.

■ About Making Manga, and What Comes Next

As for manga, it’s not like I’ve stopped completely.

I’ve still been touching it little by little while watching my condition.

But the energy it takes to get it all the way to something I can actually publish

hasn’t fully come back yet.

That’s the honest truth.

To everyone who has been waiting,

I’m sorry this has been such a hard time to see visible movement.

That said, I haven’t stopped completely.

I have applied for Futaket, for now.

I’d like to have something new to bring if I can,

but that will also depend on how my condition goes.

For the moment, I’m still trying to live by these principles:

* Don’t push too hard

* But don’t stop completely

* Prioritize staying stable

I don’t feel like I’m about to make a dramatic recovery overnight,

but I do want to keep gradually putting things back in order.

I’ll report again when there’s some movement.

Thank you, as always, for watching over me.

Talk to you again soon.

Aimaitei Umami

Note:

Mercari is a popular Japanese online marketplace where people buy and sell used items.

Jimoty is a local community platform often used for giving away or selling items nearby, sometimes with in-person exchange.