November Bonus: Big Victories!

I've always considered myself relatively sensitive to the needs and feelings of fat people because I love a lot of fat people, but incorporating the lessons I've learned from this show has made me truly compassionate towards all people, whatever their size may be. Even the ones I don't particularly like, it never is about their weight and I'll fight anybody that makes it about their weight.

We do know how do use FaceTime; we don’t want to.

I don’t know how new it is, but I live in the Bay Area and I’ve found I think plenty of exam tables and even the adjustable moveable hospital beds are able to weigh you, unfortunately. In spring of 2023 I was weighed using the exam table for the first time, it physically lifted me up and put me back down to weigh me which was weird (I did consent). November 2024 my portable hospital bed was able to weigh me as well. Plenty of doctor’s offices still use regular step-on scales and thankfully I am asked whether or not I want to be weighed and have the option to say no if I want. I say I don’t know how new this is because I’m listening to this years later in 2025 because I FINALLY got on the Patreon after listening to almost every episode available on Spotify, many of them 2 or 3 times.

The way Aubrey says “MAYHEM!!” at 5:08 - I want that as my ringtone

The story of Aubrey’s mom declining to be weighed and then the person just writing the weight down from the table is a really good example of how most “consent” in medical settings is fake. They do not take it seriously or care. They’re not asking, “is this ok with you,” they’re asking, “are you going to be obedient to me?” If possible, they’re going to do whatever they want regardless of what you say.

I am a deep believer in being a karen in the name of change. I send a million bitchy letters to the local government and news stations. They do not like me.

I attended a 6 week Mental Health Recovery/Maintenance Course there were 3 professionals leading (qualifications galore and lived experience between them) and I was one of 6 participants. Ideas of how to feel better/boost mood included Lose Weight (also included volunteering which I am not opposed to but the framing was so gross). I politely but passionately argued against its inclusion, calling out how unacceptable it was and why, they agreed with me and removed it. It frustrated me that 3 trained professionals never even questioned the inclusion. It was before I listened to this podcast but not long after I'd read Fearing the Black Body, my little anxiety self was worried I was being difficult but I am glad I did and after listening to Maintenance Phase I think I'd be much more confident/well equipped to call out this specific kind of thing going forward.

I informed my doctor that I’ve struggled with eating disorders, and they always ask me at my appointments whether I’d like to talk about my weight. I say “no,” they check a box, and we move on :) It’s something I’m very grateful for

I don't think I've ever cried during the show before, but hearing Mike talk about the email his dad sent him made me well up. I don't expect emotional content from y'all, but it was a great surprise.

Once you become a cop, you are corrupted. Even if you start off wanting to help people. The people who remained true to those morals have all been pushed out of the police force because its very essence is using violence to control the working class. There is no such thing as a good cop. If they were good, they would take one look around and quit immediately. Sincerely, someone who's been assaulted by multiple cops and then told by other cops "that wasn't me, I wasn't there, that's not my fault, we're not all like that" while they assisted in processing the erroneous charges their fellow goons placed on me. (PS charges dropped bc they were lies)

I have an anti-oppression consulting business and I was informed by the organizers of a college conference on diversity, equity and inclusion topics that I was the first person to submit a proposal on anti-fatness in the history of the conference (15+ years). It went well including a similar conversation about working from the inside or outside. We had some police who also taught future cops attend who asked questions about improving training (re: intersections of anti-fatness, ableism and anti-Blackness) and I said that I can understand why they would want to do that but I believe that the system cannot be reformed and they respected that response.

Awww I'm late to the party but at the age of 32 I've finally drawn a hard boundary with my boomer almond mum that I'm not going to tolerate any weight or body chat any more. That was partly down to MF and partly down to watching loads of content from Michelle Elman in the UK. She's amazing and so are you guys :)

This was so delightful. It gave me a sense of community and reminded me to advocate for myself/speak up when i need to. Hearing the mom victories was so heartwarming. Michael going “Elon no” 😂

This just made me think of when I was recently talking to a friend who just had a baby and this show gave me the fire to jump in when she was down about her mom being shitty abt not trying hard enough to lose the baby weight THREE WEEKS AFTER BIRTH. Thank you for giving me the idea that it’s important to step into those moments and help and not pretend they aren’t happening

I'm going to go "Elon, noo" every time twitter pulls another glitch which is every alternate day because of this episode

WAYYYY late to this game but huge shoutout to you for delving into the urbanism/fatphobia crossover—i work in urban development and have always clocked how obesity is just dropped in among the rationales for safer streets when it does not need to be mentioned at all! This was galvanizing for me to push back on that

I could listen to 25 episodes of just this. What an absolute delight, and I think “chaos gremlin” is what I’ll be bringing to the party in 2024

Loved the bit about "now this is going to be a NEGATIVE" interaction. My husband and I say it too each other all the time.

I survived by just beginning to open my eyes. Just a long way to go but trying to re learn

Okay but how did they hack the fitbits?? All i’ve got is to put it on my dog

I've been doing the removing harmful books from those little libraries but was focused on awful Christian books. I'm going to add diet books to my list. 😈

I survived an ED, followed by a chronic illness that made it extremely hard to get adequate nutrition. I'm petite, but even so, I got to some pretty scary places. Last month, I learned that if I wanted to, I could call myself borderline or small fat, and I started to cry from a sudden wave of joy that I survived both those things and I didn't waste away into nothing.

Is there still a show?

I missed the call for victories but this one is a wee bit... Well. Another teacher at work (I work at a jr high) made a comment about how it was so great that I had lost weight and I immediately said "Oh, I'm relapsing into eating disorder behavior." It was incredibly awkward, but I'm glad I made it weird. Middle school fucking sucks and all of my kids already feel weird and awful about their bodies because puberty is terrible, they don't need to hear about weight loss or dieting or anything like that when they're in algebra. Algebra is bad enough.

I love that they estimated Mikes weight. PROVES it's meaningless. You'd never guess blood pressure.

My mam, after listening to me talk about anti-fat bias over the past few years, has reduced the comments she makes about other peoples bodies (yay!). However she did ask at one point whether something was ‘fattist’ 😂 (thinking of other -isms)

Shortly after this episode I had 2 tiny victories: I asked my Physical Therapist to tell her office to get bigger chairs and she said she would absolutely bring it up the next time they order more office stuff. I'm on this app/site called habitica that has community challenges anyone can create and there was one called "restore your core" and in the description they used "o" words, and at the bottom of the description they said they were open to feedback. So I messaged the challenge creator and gently requested they not use those words and linked a Ragen Chastain article. The creator messaged me back thanking me for the information and stating they would change the language next time they ran the challenge.

Thanks to this episode, I just checked the free little library in the Starbucks I’m at. I’m pleased to report it was already diet book free! (Also someone seems to have bought a ton of little coloring packs for kids and that’s so sweet!)

This was amazing. And I had a victory while I was listening to it. I need to buy a bathing suit for the first time in several years, for an upcoming trip. I decided I was going to approach measuring my body in a kind and matter-of-fact way, so I can order swimsuits to try on. I don’t feel bad about learning what size I should order, and I’m hopeful that I’ll find something I can feel comfortable in it. Because my body is my home.

There an idea chaos goblin Murch

I just booked a ticket to see the Yrfatfriend screening in Glasgow on Jan 20! I'd be happy to meet up with fellow MPsters beforehand.

Doctors treat fat people with what I call the "hot dog body" theory. To doctors fat people are just fat through and through inside : no bones, no organs,arteries or veins...🌭🌭🌭

You guys ALWAYS make me laugh, but "Elon, nooooo-" made me YELL 😂😂😂😂😂 you two are absolute treasures hahahahaha

I've never heard Aubrey say "I love it!" so many times hahahaha. I love it!

Shout-out to the doctors writing in with wins. And to the dietician - my nutritionist was the only doctor this year who has been good about weight stuff. Please continue holding the line,!

I've just been asked to weigh myself at my cardiology check-up. I asked why. The nurse even said she didn't really know why. Background.. I had an aortic dissection last year and had to have open heart surgery to repair the aorta and put a mechanical valve in. It's a complete mystery why it happened. I walked loads, rode a bicycle, danced, ate mostly non processed foods. I'm awaiting results from genetic tests. I'm finding out that once you've had a cardiac event, it's treated like it's your 'fault' that's the narrative. Referred to exercise classes to be spoken down to (I'd love to exercise more if the chronic fatigue didn't wipe me out) given dietary information as if you know absolutely nothing. I will keep questioning the bullshit.

I would like to add I annoyed (and educated) my GP practice enough they removed the Saxenda (our brand of Ozempic) add, and the "losing x% of your weight will magically do XYZ"(you know the zombie statistic) signs I also remove diet books from Lilliput libraries and have made so many people feel incredibly uncomfortable at the gym for commenting on/ about peoples (or my) body. Not their body, not their business.

Amazing ep, teary-eyed after listening (as usual!) and it sparked some great car convos with a friend. On a different note, can we get “Maintenance Phase Pilled” tees/merch please :-)

Made me cry multiple times last night - time for round two w my coffee! ♥️

What a lovely episode! Loved the one on managing the presentation of information for the meals for kids campaign.

This was lovely from start to finish, thank you Mike and Aubrey and Co.!

When Aubrey started the story about her grandma & the "fat aunts", I thought she was talking about "fat ants" and I wondered what kind of ants they were 😆 (hi, yes, I'm from Australia 👋🏻)

Ahhhh! You featured my email! My email read on my favourite podcast! I continue to have great conversations with my mum and others. :)

This was so great

When the call went out for victories, I thought this was too small. In preparation for having my first child, I created a snack drawer in my house with a variety of "junk" foods and no rules so that I could help my daughter build a healthy relationship with food. My mom was highly skeptical of this decision, but now she is fully on board as she sees how much healthier my relationship is with food and how I can eat what I feel like eating in quantities that feel good instead of hiding it or eating everything at once. She sees how I sometimes reach for the drawer, but also eat more fruit because there's no conflict. Hopefully my daughter (currently an infant) will be able to benefit from this change both in myself and in her grandma.

This episode is absolutely incredible and gives soooo many ideas about how EVERYONE can be an activist in this work. I know every once in awhile you share Patreon eps to the main feed. I think this one is worth considering for public sharing given how much good it could do. I want to share it with every single person I know! I thought I was pretty good in my activism in this space. But - DAMN - I learned like 874 new things I can do in this ep. Thx Mike & Aubrey. Appreciate you both so much!

This episode should have come with a “might make you cry on the bus to work” warning. I would like a $200 flight voucher in apology please…….

I am a fat runner, and my usual route (along a picturesque river) usually has some people on strolls/walking their dogs. I’ve made a point of injecting some chaos gremlin energy into my responses when some of the walkers inevitably pull out the “wow! It’s good to see someone like you exercising!” or “good for you for getting out there!” I give them a big fuck-you smile and say “you too!”

I share Aubrey’s fear of having to lose an enormous amount of weight to have a necessary surgery one day. I’m no longer able to run so I would literally have to starve myself for an extended period of time. It’s honestly terrifying.

It was good to hear some wins! As a healthcare provider myself, and the daughter of a late 70s parent with heart issues, I felt a little twinge of something hearing about never allowing a weight in the doc’s office. My father has heart failure, and one of the ways he can make sure he is managing his fluids well and not getting overloaded and straining his heart, is by taking daily weights. It’s one of the only daily weight recs i support, and I support it because it can absolutely help him see if he’s headed to a case of fluid overload before it gets bad. A weight gain of over a few pounds in one day is a trigger to talk to the doc. I know this is a “special case” but it’s interesting because my dad also has diet culture stuff in his past and present too. So he still tries to “limit fats” while eating too much salt, for instance. I’m trying to educate him while also supporting his autonomy, but I do advocate that he checks his weight in this instance. It’s such a weird balancing act.

I'm pretty disappointed with where this podcast has landed the last few months. The biased echo chamber is too loud. Some of these victories were scrutinized when they had no reason to be. Aubrey, I understand how upset you are at the world for where it is but constantly bringing down little victories and claiming "this is great and all but the bar is so low" really leaves people powerless. Do you want change or revenge? I started listening to this podcast when I was diagnosed with hashimotos and went from being an insecure but thin person to an obese person in 18 months. I had traumatic experiences in hospitals and I did see all of fhe mistreatment from my doctors who had treated me completely different when I was thin! That's real. I support the message of respect at every size. But when we are now so deep into acting like your health is completely out of your control it's not only untrue ( even though you cherry pick your studies and your reflections from them) it doesn't actually help people. I spent the last 6 months in so much pain but trying to believe I didn't want to lose weight because I was so scared of being fat phobic. I have had issues with food and wanting to "diet" my whole life too I really bought all this messaging. But truly since I've let go of this rhetoric that it's the worlds fault not mine I have been having better health. I still agree EVERYONE deserves equal opportunity and such and size shouldn't change that but when you ignore the fact that YES being severely overweight exacerbates current issues it's no longer a message that I can get behind. Please go back to the talk about culture, talk about body image, talk about different health fads not related to weight, research new things like the history of protein episode did. You guys used to have so much excitement for learning about different ingredients in food or historical origins to health practices. This is getting so tired

I’m not sure this counts as a victory but I was six hours into heavy labor, the doctor said in a conversational informative way something like “we can’t see your contractions happening because you’re so skinny” and then asked me “why did you make a face” and (with all filters off) I said “fat people deserve quality healthcare.” Not sure what that counts as or whether it had any impact but it sure did happen. ❤️❤️❤️ u guys

My health insurance wants to send me a scale for free and I am not going to accept it

God what a nice change of pace to hear some wins!

In hindsight, I’m very glad that I didn’t send in a response because mine was not my finest moment. I work in a middle school and I overheard one boy making fun of another boy for his weight. I kinda snapped and shouted at the bully boy, “you need to keep your mouth shut about other people’s bodies because you’re being a mean, little bitch right now, and that’s not fucking cool.” A few days later, I got called into a meeting with the principal, that kid, and his parents. When I repeated for them what he said to the other student, his (thin) dad looked at him and went “yeah, that’s not fucking cool.”

My mom did something similar to the “fat aunt” story. She was at an event and this (thin) woman was talking with disgust about someone else, simply because the woman must have weighed XXX lbs. My mom just kept going “so what?” The woman got annoyed and acted like my mom was clueless and beneath her but I’m still glad she pushed back.

Plug for the group All Bodies on Bikes!!! Amazing people doing amazing work :)

Big victory for my partner today. She went to her doctor for a carpal tunnel diagnosis, which she have been fighting with EDD about for almost two months. The biggest victory was that the doctor actually listened to her problems and gave them the diagnosis, HUGE! The other victory for her was that without prompting the doctor offered her a recommendation for breast reduction surgery. To her this was a massive win because for once the doctor didn't just look at her and say "Your problem is you're fat." The doctor literally told her "I don't think your weight is contributing to the issues, but your breast size/weight likely is." For them this was like being heard for the first time. She has always advocated that she would like a breast reduction because of the strain it put on her back, and for once someone is willing to help. For today, that is my bright spot.

I am learning all kinds of ways to be a Hobbes Approved Terrorist.

Loved the bike advocacy entry! I'm also in active transportation, and while I'm more on the design side I am fighting this via infographics. One recently got sent my way trying to show people with different abilities, and it had a single fat person in it... all the way past the people using wheelchairs and canes. So I was like, "I know this is not what you asked about, but could we NOT imply that fatness is more disabling than literally anything else? Plenty of us walk and bike around just fine." I was really nervous to do it because I felt like I needed it to be "us," to communicate that hey, I am one of these people, in order for anyone to take my concern seriously. But I also really really don't want to open up the door for talking about my body at work. Am super happy to report that they changed it up to mix everyone in together and not try to play the "who's more disabled" game in the first place, and also added more people of different sizes.

After your disclaimer in the last podcast about taking time off, I had steeled myself for a long wait. This is such an exciting surprise (even though I think you might have said the bonus episodes would still be coming).

I used to work in the IT part of healthcare, specifically around designing the ux that doctors use for their exams. Depending on what they use and the standards of their practice, getting the data field for weight may be required, as in the software won’t let the provider finish the exam unless that field is filled. Or, the fellow doctors who are auditing those exams may take issue with the provider not filling that in. Most importantly, when weight is not reported, it affects the reimbursements providers receive from insurance. As in, if they do not report their patients weight, and show that their patient population is within healthy ranges, or they’re being counseled to lose eight, the providers lose out on those “incentives” from insurers. So, even for providers that respect patients decisions around not being weighed - it has really dumb causes and repercussions because we live in revenue focused healthcare hellscape.

Here in my bed in Dublin Ireland. 3rd time in a year with covid and was feeling pretty sorry for myself. However, instant pick me up listening to you both, I will never, ever tire of your voices. I work as an oncology nurse and spend a lot of my free time listening to a variety of podcasts to switch off yet educate myself.. .always find myself returning to your podcast. Your senses of humour, empathy, kindness yet unwavering ability to spot bullshit from a mile away is a winning combination for me. Fantastic work guys, thankyou!

first, omg got chills from the absolute profound impact of the last story. Incredible and inspiring. Second, for many reasons, I wish this was a main feed post. It stands out majorly in my mind, because it shows the power of calling out anti-fat bias where it happens and gives great examples of how to approach interactions.

Yay Minnesota! Love the free lunch program here.

Is it just me or should everyone be a Rowan?!

I was hospitalized in August for a pretty serious issue, so I was not weighed when I was admitted. However, I can confirm.-the beds in the hospital also weigh you 🫠

This is the content I needed post Thanksgiving, Thank you ♥️

Dr Heather are you here? Please tell me how I can find a practice with your ethos.

Just to comment on schools asking for kids’ weight — as a parent who regularly volunteers for events and field trips at my kids’ schools, I know that weight (as well as age, height, hair color, eye color, etc.) are simply data points to help ID students in emergency situations. I really don’t think it’s meant to be discriminatory. (Also it remains confidential unless it’s needed.) But of course I have sympathy if there is a sensitivity there.

Your my top podcast for Spotify wrapped

I'm a librarian and for two years I was in charge of buying books for the 600s- the part of the nonfiction section with diet books. For two years I didn't approve the purchase of one diet book, focusing instead on having a more diverse cookbook section and padding out our healthcare texts

I wish I had paid attention to the call for submissions. A couple of years ago, I gained about 40 pounds within a month or two and was diagnosed with underactive thyroid and then was diagnosed with ADHD not long after that. I began thyroid medicine AND stimulants and dropped weight very quickly without any other lifestyle changes. People who barely knew me were suddenly commenting on my weight loss and pelting me with "what's your secret?" questions. So my favorite response became, "Oh! I'm on legal meth!" They generally end the conversation after that.

I'm now committed to making things awkward, especially when it comes to first class plane seating. We recently flew for a family funeral and my aunts made fun of my mom for booking first class tickets and... wow I wish I'd done that

I also love the item about Little Free Libraries! I am curator of one and I NEVER allow diet books to be in the collection. As an atheist, i also eliminate all the bibles and other religious trash that gets stuffed inside my carefully tended libraries.

I hope that Mike and Aubrey see this - you'd love how many health policy analysts who work for the state of OR listen to your podcast 💗 can't tell you where a policy win is but there will be one soon enough!

The gym experiences as a fat person can be wild. I have had both sides of gym interactions from "I want to commend you for coming to the gym" to a simple "I've seen you around and you're killing it." The first one was garbage because it was obviously about my body, unlike one trainer who literally says hello to everyone and says that kind of thing to everyone.

I didn’t realize you had a callout for this! I work at a Community Health Centre in Canada that started a staff working group to address anti-fatness in our clinic! They added wider chairs in the waiting rooms, larger scales, and are working toward provider education. They recently did an info session about Ozempic. Most of them have never listened to MP. Just out there doing the work😊

Haven’t finished the episode but have to say that I will now be clearing the Little Free Libraries in my neighborhood of diet books… also many some of the self-help books…hmmm. Aubrey and Mike, thank you for this podcast. I get gitty when I see a new episode up, and I’m also happy that y’all are taking the time you need to take care of yourselves. Continue the fantastic work on both the podcast and resting when you need it!

I took a sip of coffee right at, “Elon nooooo.” This is my villain origin story.

This episode gave me so much life! I love hearing Mike and Aubrey's voices knowing they're taking the time they need to be human, but also doing the good work of helping us all feel better about our bodies and unlearning anti-fatness. But also, can we *please* prioritize getting that Vitamin D Truther episode out??!?? I AM DYING OVER HERE. Mike, I need it. I need you to tell me about this. (Srsly, I love you guys and thank you for changing my life.)

I LOVE Heather the HC provider! That’s some world-changing shit! Thank you, Heather!!!!

Whoever sent in that they take the diet books out of the little free libraries is my hero!! LOL

As a community college counselor in the 70s and 80s, I taught a class called “Reshaping Your self image.” To my amazement the President of the college asked what a counselor was doing teaching a class like that. I was gobsmacked, and had no response. It was so obvious to me.

This is making me smile so much. I really needed this

Looking forward to listening to this. It can be difficult to do anti-fat bias work, but I’m still showing up, having difficult and meaningful bodies, and most of all trying to remind ppl that fat is an adjective not a moral judgement about a person or their worth/ dignity/ humanity

Ugh time for my regular observation that my parents never apologized to me for anything lol...well, my mom apologized for not making me play sports so I would get more exercise...🙄

A new Maintenace Phase episode, plus I aced The NYT Thursday crossword. It’s a good day so dar1

Listening to this first thing in the morning was just the best way to start my day!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I woke up, war criminal dead, new Maintenance Phase, can today get better?

Please make a Chaos Grimlin t-shirt! I'll go so well with my methodology queen t-shirt!

Thank you so much, Minnesota Kate (Cait? k8)! as a Minneapolis person, my friends and I rejoiced when that measure re: school meals was passed! It's so amazing that obesity was excised from that!

Started getting misty with the healthcare provider victory. You guys are awesome, are doing such amazing work, and have changed my life by offering new perspective. I've been backsliding with my ED and body image lately....I think it's time for a re-listen from the beginning.

I didn't get the opportunity to say it confidently at the time but- I got a period back for the first time in my life (I'm 2 months shy of 25), and just passed my first semester at Uni (doing my fun papers before the science part of 'neuroscience') 😅 No, but thank You for accompanying me through the hardest and most rewarding years of my life, via podcast.