Therapy Deep Dive: Self Acceptance

If it isn't evident by my profile picture of yoyos, I am the geekyest person I know, and always have been. I don't know anyone who enjoys what I do and I have had really no one to truly experience life with. I was part of a group of kids who were all homeschooled together and they would constantly exclude me for my weirdness, leaving me questioning myself and making me feel undesirable. I still hate myself to this day and I used to struggle with suicidal thoughts. Your story helped me feel like I'm not alone, so thank you. I still solidly believe somewhere inside that I'm a dork and weird and undesirable, and most of the rest of the words there on the thumbnail. I just can't seem to shake the fact that my personality repells people, and I hate myself for it... I really should go to therapy 🤔

I appreciate this episode so much, and I upgraded my patreon subscription specifically to watch this. Self respect and love has been one of the hardest things for me to internalize through the years as a result of bullying and feelings of inadequacy. So many of the things you said in this video really hit home for me and remind me that loving myself is one of the most important things I can do. Thank you

Yep that was a large portion of my time in school...being that one kid who sat by himself at lunch, who was always last to be picked for events, who would secretly cry when no one was looking. I had such a great hate towards myself, and still do to this day but in different ways. I'm still working on trying to love myself and let go of the past, it's just hard

Hmmm this really hit home... I am working on the self-respect part and it's a rough thing to learn

Something else that's great about the clip you shared is that the old coach mentions that it's his pride that gave him the power to get out of there. So often pride is referred to as a negative trait, but it really isn't. Just like everything else in the world, pride is good to have in moderation. Having pride in yourself, or your work, or in others help people feel strong enough to push beyond boundaries that exist. Without pride, people could easily stagnate and never aim for something greater. Thanks for the video and talk about self-acceptance! I will happily show this videos to those who I know could stand to hear it.

You summed up my childhood and teenage years really well. I was emotionally abused both at school and home and my secondary school (high school) did not do anything to help me out. They even compounded the problem by asking me if one of my parents was doing something to me in front of that parent instead of in separate rooms. Crazy. You could see that I was squirming and I did not want to be in that environment and I wanted the floor to swallow me up. I have autism and it was not diagnosed until I was 28. I am so sorry that you had to deal with bullies too. I also subsequently found out that my bullies at school were going through difficult periods when they bullied me, but that doesn't excuse it.

Thank you so much for sharing, it means a lot to so many people. It couldn’t have been easy, and you are doing such important work. From one sensitive soul to another, thank you.

Well you just summed up my whole childhood, just sprinkle in some incredibly toxic family dynamics where you come out with some massive toxic-perfectionism tendencies because your learned trauma responses was that being beyond criticism was both the best “self-respect” armor against other people’s/your own loathing of you and the best way to keep the people you lived with from taking our their frustrations on you . 😬 I was lucky enough to finally find my “freaks and geeks” around when I was 15, which is what finally pulled me out of years of secret suicidal ideation, but holy shit am I still surprised by how difficult it is to exercise self-compassion, so thank you for sharing and for always being willing to walk the walk. Your transparency and vulnerability is a beautiful thing to experience. 💕

I'm sorry, did you read my diary from growing up? I has a very similar experience, except it was the early 2000s Thank you so much for sharing your story with us! It means the world to so many to know that they are not alone! You have truly created a safe space for so many people to do a lot of healing, growing, and learning and I am forever grateful to you for that fact!

Another 80's kid here who moved around a lot. I was always too trusting and thought people were better friends than they were. My secrets usually became public knowledge and then I was teased mercilessly by everyone including the so called friends. I took me till I was in my 30's to trust anyone with the knowledge that I found them attractive because of what I suffered in 3rd grade. Every place we lived after 3rd grade I never shared my whole self with anyone. I have a fiance now and have put in the work but it literally took half my life to do it. I hope one day your message of self love and acceptance can reach the whole world because we all need it. Thank you much for how you care for all of us too.

Literally, I went from bullied in middle school to "oH wE'rE iN mIdDlE sChOoL nOw?" In high school. I learned to love myself and do my own thing at a young age, and I hope for that for a lot of humans.

Man, this one hit too hard. I could go on forever, but I'll just say that I largely had the same experience as you, but I did actually become a bully for a while (there are countless reasons, but I'll keep it brief). Learning to accept the part of me that was bullied, but also the part of me that did the bullying has been hard, but worth it. I know I've come a long way because any time I tell someone new that I used to be a "problem child" they'll say "really? you??" It may seem superficial, but it means a lot to me.

I literally have no words but a smile on my face with tears in my eyes knowing that we’re much the same the only difference is , is the distance in which we live , your honesty is something I really admire that about you Jono 🥹☮️💚🪬🌈⭐️🌙

https://images.app.goo.gl/Ve2q1be3xcAz3Txq6 That’s what popped into my head towards the end when Jono talks about owning up when he catches himself lying now. 💚 Thanks for this and being vulnerable. I had very similar experiences with sever bullying for about 7 years throughout my elementary, middle, and high school years. It was transformative for me in very similar ways of being more empathetic towards others and always looking for the one(s) on the outside. 💚

Freaks and geeks is my favorite show, would love to watch you discussing it! ❤️

Thank you Jono for sharing your experience! I can relate to feeling excluded. To me, the most helpful thing was therapy that I started already being an adult. It took quite a lot of time (and money), but it was the best investment in my life. I know it could be difficult to find a therapist who is a perfect fit for a specific person (I was lucky), but if someone is in doubt, I would definitely recommend trying. Professional help could be very, very useful.

Here, this is for everyone. Pls share nicely :3 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

I can very much relate. (I’m also an 80’s kid.) We moved constantly and I was very shy so I found it extremely difficult to make friends. I also had a hearing problem along with other issues that made school difficult. So, I was bullied a lot during elementary and middle school. I never felt like I fit in. As a mother now, my youngest child, my daughter was bullied horribly and the wounds of that have stayed with her. She now has a leaky bucket. No matter how much love, attention and affirmation we give her, it leaks out. I realized I had never fixed my own leaky bucket and knew I couldn’t teach her how to fix hers, when I never fixed mine. My husband is amazing at telling me daily how much he loves and appreciates me. How beautiful he thinks I am but I can never accept it. Im starting to fully understand why. I can’t accept it from others because I don’t have it myself. So, I’m so grateful to have found Cinema Therapy and Mended Light. I’m learning how to be ok and practice self love. Hopefully this will help me teach it to my daughter. As always, thank you Jono for being vulnerable and leading by example. It helps more than I can express.

THANK YOU! Sharing your story I know will definitely help lots of people. In the mid 80s, I was a junior counselor (and former camper) at a sleepaway co-ed summer camp in WI. The Arts and Craft Shed (pet rocks, leather keychain stamping, gimp string lanyard bracelets, tie-dying, creative art contests...) was my castle and became a place of solace for those I affectionately called my "lost boys". Working there gave me the unique opportunity to see and encourage kids to be vulnerable and share their artistic sides. I was able to not onlr gain their trust, but also create a space where they could be truly authentic and learn how to interact and assert the themselves with each other. I was 16, I had no clue about psychology or Dr Spock (not to be confused with Mr Spock in Star Trek), but I did know how it felt to be excluded from peer groups for being seen as weird and thus unworthy of connection (or not being seen at all). In the woods of the Kettle Moraine Forest, campers of all ages (2 to 92), have a place to take off their masks and be part of community and learn/ share values of service to others and especially themselves. Of course we all had to go back home and deal with the same external challenges, but this time it would be a little bit better internally because we knew we mattered. One of my artistic campers (who was a constant target of the meanies at school and home) now designs and builds award-winning custom choppers and had his creative work featured in motorcycle shows, magazines, and interviews. He's still humble yet confident in his work ethic and creativity (and is well liked and respected by the those who were similar to the meanies back in jr and sr HS). 😊🏍

As a child of the 80s and also from a rural part of the country, I lived a similar experience and never fit in with any one group. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. 💜

Thanks for sharing your story Jono. It’s very relatable for me.

I remember feeling similar to this. Thinking that i needed to always have something to offer or i would be replaced. Luckily i met great wonderful people who stuck around and taught me how wrong i was. They gave me the foundation that allowed me to fully conqouer all my demons and be someone i can be proud of today. I try very much to allow the same foundation for those around me, so they also can grow. Breaking free from my chains i had put around me very much felt like Quasimodo breaking free of the chains tying him to the tower, only i realized that it was me holding the chains. Self compassion, -empathy and -love truly is the most blissful i've ever felt.