1033 - Lassie’s Nude Adventure feat. Alex Nichols (5/4/26)

Shredder was Ethan Klein’s dog’s name 🤣

These are all just very thinly veiled ways for people to show their fetishes online. “Dear Prudie, I am small and Meek and my wife is sexually aggressive.” “Dear Prudie, my “friend” (not me) was caught being nude in front of security cameras” “Dear Prudie, my husband’s perfectly normal 0.8 inch penis made me asexual and I’m forced to have sex with a former linebacker.” “Dear Prudie, we are going to be having sex this weekend at Latitude 17.267, Longtitude 26.676.”

Ethan's parents took the kids parasailing. We should 100% call CPS. SKULS!!!!

I cannot believe I'm talking about this in a Chapo podcast comment section, but as the resident PGAD expert here (I recently developed a hopefully non-chronic stress-induced version after having shingles) I can objectively say that multiple organisms is not a treatment, and you are actually supposed to avoid sex when you're having a flare up because it tends to just prolong your symptoms or make them worse...she just doesn't want to fuck her husband.

What is this smut

I got my couch for $50 from a thrift store, and the proceeds went to my local animal shelter. Most viruses can't live on a surface for that long, so I'm not worried about my butthole touching the former owner's butthole

So is the guy’s dick small or is he short in stature

Love the JGB

Maybe he did it to make the dog feel more comfortable

Alex having zero context for parasailing was kinda funny

Terrier Schiavo

Is he saying “mores” like it rhymes with “s’mores” as a bit, or is this a case of reading the word and never hearing it pronounced? I’m used to Felix being the one who does that lol

I love how much you guys bring up Beetle Bailey

Putting in my prediction before I hear what the in laws let the kids do, I hope it’s smoking

Normally I agree that dogs should be allowed on the couch but if he’s upset that his friend is naked on his couch then honestly he’d better not let his dog on the couch either. It’s the double standard that bothers me

The words port and left both have thirty million letters in them actually.

Wohoo! Gerry referenced

port and left each have 4 letters in them is how i do it

Who the fuck thinks it's okay to sign kids up for something without telling them.

Addicted as I am to their political commentary, this is just superior content. Laughing a lot.

Parasailing is dangerous as fuck lol

on that last one, I think we're overlooking a brilliant new frontier: this man loves eating dry pussy, which is some Sisyphus shit if I ever did hear it

and secretly riding a friend's Peloton while nude ... that's Adam Friedland behavior

The "You're so tiny" biting scenario is uncannily like something Hesse would make up

The pussy eating 2 showers thing sounds like real OCD to me. Like checking all the doorknobs exactly 3 times

Pretty sure the fastest anyone had gone before the internal combustion engine was on an ice boat.

Well, the pussyeater woman is "forcing" her partner something he does not want to do with all that follows from that. He clearly only does it because he wants to please her but gets no enjoyment from it but that is not enough for her and she wants him to also enjoy it, which he obviously does not do. Seems like pretty unbridgable differences. Either she finds somebody to do the pussyeating for her, somebody else but him, or she needs to accept that he is not the pussyeater she wants because to him it is gross and dirty. Maybe a wand can help them?

I’m sorry but if I could have outdoor sex in a suburban college more then once, I’m sure this adult couple with a car in rural Utah can find at least ONE spot to do it in a national park

20:42 Shedder Klein mention

As if most straight guys fantasy isn't to be smothered between the thighs of a women

Imagine the dog sitter listens to Chapo

Another Spencer W 🔥🔥🔥

how’s that guy on a 3 month sabbatical but still checking his phone?

PGAD is a real thing I read about in a series my local newspaper did on the topic, back when there were such things as local papers. (I believe this was around 2012). A lot of people who suffer from it end up killing themselves because of the combination of physical discomfort that eventually amounts to torture, and the social ostracization that comes with it. The woman spotlighted in this series did eventually commit suicide. The boys' response to it here is hinting at where that ostracization might come from.

Maybe it's just my deep abiding revulsion at surveillance, but I think Will's and Felix's prescription of seppuku should be applied to the dog sitter's employer. Yeah, some people just like to be naked when they're at home alone, and in a private residence is not someplace anyone should ever have any expectation of being surveilled. That's Jeffrey Epstein s***. The separate issue of did the dog sitter enshitify the peloton and the couch is a separate issue, but I question why it's an issue that occurs to anyone in the first place. I presume this place has a shower, that this guy was using. I don't know about any of you guys, but when I am aware that there is an issue between the cheeks that needs to be addressed, I address it as soon as I am home. I don't get naked and wallow around enshitifying all my things. The only possible alternate explanation that has occurred to me is if some of you gross people have issues between the cheeks and you just don't know about it, and you know that you might not know about it. Well, if that's true, you need to go to the doctor and get that looked at. The anal sphincter is a near perfect biological mechanism, separating your insides from the outside world with perfect competency. If only your minds were as hygienic.

Easy way to remember the difference between port and starboard is that left and port are both 4 letter words

Alex. One of us one of us

Is that a Jerry Garcia Band 1980 Capitol Theater cover of Dear Prudence that I hear?

What, no parental warning on this episode? Geebus!

1. At least two of these stories were submitted by my parents, ugh 2. Grok sounds like a 2007 era Cunnilingus Guy, so with the right hardware add ons the second to last problem will be technologically obsolete. 3. The Romantasy question is the most psychologically rich profile of evil ever uncovered by this series, or any series. The mother’s anti-life, anti-friend, anti-creative imperative barely masquerades as concern trolling.

"I'm a bisexual woman in my 20s and my hetero boyfriend in his 30s won't lick my pussy" is just a perfectly crafted rage bait, top tier online trolling

This show has profiled some truly awful, depraved people, but the woman looking for advice for how to criticize their daughter writing a story they think could be "problematic" if it ever got published is easily one of the worst

Kinda mad they didn’t refer the pussy eating question to Stavvy baby.

Another boring, unfunny episode with Alex Nichols. This hour long episode felt like 3 hours it was such a slog to get through. Love you guys but this feels so pointless

Parasailing is psycho especially for kids that young holy shit she's kinda right imo

The couple who wanted to have sex outside should just wear ghillie suits and cut holes in the crotch

They’re rightfully disgusted by a man sitting nude on a couch but don’t understand why people wouldn’t want a dog doing the same thing

Let her bite you, pussy

16 year old is writing a novel version of that tweet about Disco Elysium but a cozy game about witches.

The woman with the sex issue is seeing John Redcorn for her migraines

Parasailing is actually super dangerous and unregulated

The obvious solution for the biting guy would be to bite back.

"Boat people are such assholes." -Ramesses II, ca. 1264 BCE

Who else like getting they shit chomped on

the guy who called his 8 year old son a pussy was probably so happy to be able to say retard again when trump came back in office. i wonder if he’s killed himself yet. he’s either gonna try to blow trump’s head off or get caught with the most child porn of all time

The Dad knew what his folks were getting up to 🤣

the guy who gave the asexual 60 year old perfect pipe was actually the guy from the hbo villages documentary who lived in his van and couldn’t commit

First time ever heard Felix talk about a woman he loved.

who would win a thousand parasailing babies or one cheetah

people who don’t let the dog on the couch should have to drive with rfk when he finds a new beached whale to take home

Felix is so right. We should teach dogs about the concept of suicide

it always cracks me up that Felix thinks everyone thinks he’s gay. literally who is thinking that

PGAD is the most pick-me-ass sounding disorder ive ever heard of

Felix Beiderman: Born for Fun

Millennial Great Santini is an exciting new kind of guy.

Much love to the budding author, I hope her woke-scold mother doesn't force her to temper her artist vision. But I'd have k i l l e d myself before sharing anything like this with either of my parents. HG needs a friend or something to read her material.

Just looked I don’t think Kai Trump has veneers

Persistent genital arousal disorder is when your stuff gets erect all the time but you don’t want to have sex. The fact that she for some reason wants to treat it with constant sex is a red flag that it might not be PGAD.

Having my wife role play as golem and she bites my ring finger off to maintain kayfabe.

The lady with the broken pussy is my Hero of the Week. I have been medically diagnosed as a gooner. If I don't jerk off 8 to 10 hours a day, I become depressed and need a weighted blanket and cannot think because of the cum overflowing from my balls and past the blood-brain barrier.

The obvious answer to the first caller being upset about something your wife did is to just do the same thing to her and say 'How do you like it!!!' while screaming and crying like a shrimpdicked little boy.

You should get Zack Fox on the show sometime.

If my “asexual” wife of 20 years suddenly suggested swinging I’d kms right then and there holy shit

I miss Matt so much

I’m holding the poop in.

Parasailing scary 'cause that's how Jurassic Park III started.

When I was in little league all the other kids were jacked like they were 'roided up. Also I was raised in Colonial Dignidad so this might not be a normal experience

0% chance that camera was there to 'film the dog'

My wife and I had a great time marveling at the freaks

"I'm sorry ma'am you have broken pussy syndrome"

That is by far the least problematic romantasy story I've ever heard

A Chapo Dynasty, 3 bangers in a row

1) sex without dirty talk just sounds like 2 people at the gym, which explains Felix's aversion to it 2) I imagine every Slate letter writer is just the bookstore owner from Portlandia

The statue to Rudy should be his pose from that photo where he's lying on his back trying to take off his pants

51:00 just yesterday I was going to the post office and saw a unhoused person urinating with his back turned to me. I said nothing. These outdoor lovers are just way too self-conscious.

I dunno man! My wife went parasailing on holiday when she was a teenager. they dropped in sea and pulled her along underwater for a hundred metres or so wherein she was tangled up in the chute and nearly drowned! Had to be rescued by a guy who jumped in a cut her loose!

I miss Matt

Felix using the dog name Shredder is funny because that is Ethan Klein’s dog who died a few years ago. I think it just subconsciously came to him.

Congrats to the friend of the show Pablo Torre on winning a Pulitzer!! Where’s your Pulitzer, Chapo?

Sounds like a job for da gay pussy eater

Shout out to fellow travelers Knowledge Fight, who are wrapping it up after 9 years of covering the world's craziest man

I heard a Jerry Garcia Band Dear Prudence at 36 min! Which one Chris??

Jerry Garcia Dear Prudence. nice

Women: would you still love me if I was a worm? Felix: would you still love me of i blew my fingers off with a firework?

didn't jeffery epstein used to tell people he had a condition like PGAD that caused him to require massages everyday

My wife, Francis Dolarhyde, came home from a girls' night last week drunk.

Mako sharks swim up to 45mph. You might be able to catch a ride on a shark, idk

about the naked pelaton rider: people are way too comfortable with all these stupid home security cameras. my old roommate had true crime brain poisoning and her house was bugged like a reality tv show. she installed ring cameras too when i moved in because she didnt want me to bring anyone over ever. im like i just know shes has hours of footage of me crying in my car or doing whatever cringe shit i do alone. when its like girl, the voluntary surveillance state you live under is clearly not easing your anxiety. im sorry.

Thank you, I needed this. It made me chuckle.

Port and left have 4 letters

Chris is this a Jerry Garcia Band needle drop?

The nude dogsitter story had me laughing like a maniac in public for several minutes

This one was so fucking funny

Alex Nichols permanent 4th mic NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (David J Roth is permanent 3rd)

Would love to see the journal in which Felix records the virtues and failings of the various orthodontists he’s met

You think the dog watched that guy on the bike? 👀

those fuckin late 40s exhibitionists, living in the middle of the great salt lake desert, but then decide to go and fuck on the Vegas strip or some shit

My husband's parents took my kids on a 10 thousand foot high waterslide. The children lived, but I don't think they should have unsupervised access anymore. My husband and kids now hate me even the death rate is normally 99%

You guys are wrong on the geriatric disgusting dog stuff, any indoor dog cam pointing at a peloton looks like a chuckee cheese rat head on a counter. Nude asshole is being bared as a total fetish or forcing your friend to have “the talk” with you about it. I have a couple cameras, none inside but that’s because the indoor ones were too fucking annoying cause they have 17 leds that perk up when the sack swings by it.

Can someone tell me what the noodly guitar bridge is, please?

Felix gets very mean and twisted in this. Almost to the level of the Joker

Romantasy mom is playing 4D chess. Becoming one of her daughter’s biggest haters and then humiliating her publicly in an advice column for idiots. Literally trying to make her famous by giving her child actor syndrome. Villain origin story shit.

Jeffrey Epstein is dead, so you can stream his music without feeling guilty.

More people need to go to West Virginia. You can hike n fuck and not see a soul.

Is another season of Movie Mindset coming up?

sometimes it's ok to eat cookies in bed

Guiliani is one of those guys that thinks you should inhale cigars. It's amazing he's lived this long.

Can’t even goon to this episode without satirical takes on the news

“Port” and “Left” both have 4 letters. You’ll never mix it up now ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I saw a Dear Prudie of a separated mom complaining that the dad got a skateboard for their daughter and the mom was freaking out over the danger which is one of the most clear cut case of Dudes Rock I've ever encountered

sicko mode: tell the guy that the neighbours saw him naked

Parasailing is not regulated well. I would maybe go, but it depends on who's doing it. As an airline pilot

Mr. Nichols is throwing heat for Mr. Chapo this week.

Dear Prudy: My girlfriend and I want to get married, but her father has only one stipulation: His oldest daughter has to get married first. There's just one problem: She's a total bitch and NO ONE will touch her! What should I do? Sincerely, Shrew-sick

As a nudist and pet sitter I have to say that guy is in the wrong. I always assume clients have cameras. I keep the nudity to the bedroom and bathroom. A lot of people are weird about nudity so it’s best to just do it in your own home.

Alex 👑

As an official swamp hag, I laugh in the face of all these people’s sexual problems.

My wife and I just had our second and I think our (unspoken) considerations about having another map onto Felix's third child theory fairly well. We got the girl and the boy, why not a Felix child just for fun?

Also, Spencer’s text based quips are a fun new spice

Alex pronounces “poop” like no one I’ve ever heard before and it cracks me up every time

Listening while eating some stir pb

🐽 smell me some slowwp

Make Alex permanent third mic, makes the Dry Boys work so well

Parasailing on a cheetah I call that Saharasailing

Really endeared by how much the story about the couple getting foiled from outdoor sex cracked Will up

Is that a JGB or GD Dear Prudence

Furst

"He who goes to sleep with both hands in his asscrack wakes up with unbitten fingers"

yeah she’s gonna have to just wet wipe the peloton and turn off the camera and try to forget about it all

Nice

Felix always brings up the girl who wanted him tell her what to wear when Rudy is in the news lol

Dang that's a cute dog

I'm glad that Alex as guest will at least make up for the dogshit choice of topic

yessssssssssss

Felix begins speaking at 1 minute and 12 seconds

I’m also scared of eating pussy because every time I do it my uncle is standing over my shoulder criticizing my technique and giving me confusing, useless and contradictory advice. Let me work, old man!!

Pre liking this episode as it drops. Because I know Alex and boys are going to make me giggle during my shit ass commute to work tomorrow morning

We love Alex episodes

Yoooo

Nice