My relationship with alcohol (A brief history on an Easter mission to Kingsbury)

Thanks for sharing Tom, I think a lot of your experiences will resonate with our generation. It can be hard socially to drop the beers when everyone in social circles still drink but I've found the more you do and bring along some 0%'s to a BBQ or party, people just begin to accept it.

I was always more of a weed smoker than a drinker, but they both served the same purpose - to keep me limited, unconscious, and more or less away from life & myself - to keep me in my comfort zone, trapped there and unable to connect with the fullest version of both myself and life. After going for a camping trip in a beautiful area recently I realised that I dont need to be like that, and that life can be exciting and full of pleasure that doesnt come at the cost of myself or lifes quality - pleasure and goodness that you dont need to steal from the future. And it comes from the most simple and natural things like being in amazing places, with good people, sunshine, creeks, fruit, good music, just simple but profound and subtle pleasures that we become desensitised to when we're habituated to such strong stimulation. Not just drugs either but social media, youtube, tv - its all so normalised and its almost weird if youre not using them, at least like that, much like alcohol. I think the abstinence is important btu equally so is finding those things that truly replace it and being aware of how superior they are to things like alcohol and weed, not that they dont have perhaps some place every now and then, but theyre seen for what they are and arent defaulted on or viewed as the standard or only option for having those experience - they can be enduring and sustainable with the right things: adventure, people, growth, natural, ital living and strength. Great video man. Always love your work but this one really resonated in more ways than this. Keep it going.

Not sure if intentional or not but I think the reason my generation doesn’t drink as much is that we’ve been priced out of it

It takes lot to open yourself up like that, I've got so much respect your you. I use to drink large amounts mainly because of hidden depression ( still never missed a day's work 🤣 ). It's been under much better control for the last few years but still get caught out from time to time. Maybe one day I'll get round to uploading my first YouTube video. Really enjoy everything you do, good luck Tom 👍

That was a very honest and enlightening video Tom, thanks very much for sharing. In fact it was so good that I think it would benefit others, have you considered making it freely available to all?

So Tom what did you do at the stag do.

What you're describing isn't a British problem. I’m 48 years old now, and from about age 16 through my late twenties, it was completely normal in all the circles of friends I knew here in Germany to party hard every Friday and Saturday. It was really fun, and we had a great time and formed some really good friendships, but some people fell by the wayside. Just think how much better things could have been if we’d left the drinking out of it?

It's crazy how similar our stories with this topic is. I haven't met anyone else who have experienced this. Nobody would believe me when i said i would get sick the whole day after from 1 beer. Happy to hear I'm not alone!

Maybe people could have a “platinum zone / gold zone / silver / bronze” system for their relationship with alcohol? Seems a lot of people feel like failures if they slip up At All (“all or nothing” thinking) and a shame-spiral ensues, they think “I’m off the wagon now…” etc But if still in gold zone, you’re still on the mission. No mission is 100% purely straight

Good one you dude, i gave up alcohol two year even i wasn't a big drink, i feel so much better for it. To be honest I was in these situtaions myself especially with mental health at the time when I was 18 to 24, i felt so lost with a lack of direction, wasn't a good catch towards girl while trying to my best to pull however i felt like things just didn't felt natural to me. In late 2012/early 2013 near the age of 25 to 31 I was going to indie festivals and gigs like All Tomorrows Parties, Liverpool psych fest and gojng to gigs in London whever it's shoegaze, dreampop, indie, psych for the best gigs to come to, especially while i was dj-ing to shoegaze and dream pop during some of gigs. However it was little easy to pull while was down in London than i did in my hometown in ipswich with a drink of course. 33 to now It wasn't until after lockdown i started to do much more exercises like swimming, hiking and yoga. Then i found buddhism in 2023 at my local buddhist centre, later that year when i had a few drinks I personally felt fragile and lost because on alcohol. since i have been adventuring much more, making music again and also mediting everyday.

Respect and best wishes sent.

Loved this. I’m 39 now and it was probably around 35 that the cons started outweighing the pros. When the memories start feeling less like Danny Dyer debating Star Wars in Human Traffic, and more like the comedown scene afterwards. I still enjoy a drink with friends occasionally but I try to be more aware of it now. Cutting out alcohol with dinner at home, working out more, that sort of thing. Still a work in progress. Do like the idea of eventually becoming the bloke who just raises a nice whiskey on special occasions.

Hey Tom, recently going through a tough relapse period with my addictions, mainly gambling but any form of killing time and distractions from life seem to consume me recently. I had a breakthrough a couple months ago and really thought I could take the next step in my life but seem to have fallen back deeper into bad habits I’d shaken for several months. I appreciate you sharing your journey, I’m similar in that it’s really a yes/no scenario, when I tease my brain with vices it spirals quickly, which is where I’m at now. My dad struggled with alcohol so I’ve known to stay away, but being an addictive personality I seem to always need something to be all in on, moderation is tough for sure. Hope I can find something positive to be “addicted” to soon, but the way the brain stops identifying things are bad for you when you’re in deep like you said, it can feel hard to make the change.

You're my favorite YouTuber and this video really gave some lore! Its brave to share such personal aspects of your life, but it only deepens your relationship with your audience. Thanks for all the years of entertainment and I look forward to more adventures. I hope you never quit YT.

I could have told your story exactly the same way. I have similar experiences with drinking and the hangovers. The older I got, the worse the following days were. But now, 18 years later, without alcohol, I can't remember a single day when I woke up with a headache, etc. And it's so much better this way. So, my advice is, keep doing what you're doing.

Loved it. So great to see how content you are in the last few vids

I just became a Patreon member recently. I’ve been toying with similar thoughts recently, as I married a wonderful woman and we have a baby on the way. This video and your other recent adventure in the Lake District have inspired me to give it a shot and even get back into fitness (hiking and running). Thank you for your videos, you inspire in many ways!

Hello mate, your story with booze / drugs sounds scarily similar to my own. I love the pub and I love the buzz, I’ve had long breaks off it, and it feels good, but fk me it’s boring. I think maybe just drinking at events is the way to go, (for me anyway) and just cut out the “pointless” pints Good luck in Benidorm!

Is this the end for Plan Pub?

Completely relate to this message and experience. I’m a bit younger than you but I had that moment of realisation very recently and decided to cut out alcohol for a month. I don’t want to have to rely on it to have a good time, and also get incredibly bad hangovers. Also noticed it has a long-term negative effect on my mental health and wellbeing. Already 1 month in I am feeling so much more confident and happier, less anxious, more mental clarity and better memory & focus. Going to try my best to stay clear of alcohol for good! Thank you for another brilliant and insightful video, Tom. 😊

Wonderful episode Tom, resubscribed to Patreon because of it and hope you’ll release this to the public channel as well. I’ve been not drinking for 15 months now and I recognize a lot of your relationship with alcohol. One of my main challenges was feeling “alone” in not drinking for the first few months. It’s so deeply rooted in many aspects of social life, that you can feel like being the weird one by not drinking during these occasions. Even though you’re having just as much fun as anyone else. For me, reading and seeing stories from other people who quit drinking helped with that. And this video will do just that for a lot of people who are doubting to stop drinking or just struggling with not drinking. Hope you had a great stag party as well, whether you drank or not.

One of my favourite videos this, I had a similar experience with alcohol (minus the drugs). Made me think about how it has shaped me as well

Ahh was fun to hear you reminisce about your earlier days of drink and other stuff, like yourself, when I was 14ish it was all wkd, vodka, mad house parties and girls. Some of the most euphoric days of my life but as my tolerance went up the less of a happy drunk I was and the more of a tired drunk I became. As I got older i got a proper job and although I did move on to clubs and pubs, along with mdma/coke, but the vibe was off. I preferred the pre drinks and getting back after a night out. A baggy in a toilet was paranoia. There was a point in my life I realised I was living for the weekend, spending a few hundred quid on a Friday/saturday and being skint the rest of the week and mostly confined to a room in a shared house that I realised I had to change. I moved back to my home town, rented a house with an old friend of mine (who didn’t do any of that), and spotted an old crush walking past my house. I went to see her, we went to town for drinks.. Fast forward and we’re married with three kids. A few things I want to say: 1. nothing is ever as good as the first time you do it. I know it now and I knew it then but I chased the dragon for ages. 2. I wouldn’t undo the drinking or drugs but I may have told myself to calm down a bit. 3. Quitting all of this stuff is so much easier with kids threatening to ruin your sleep/recovery pattern at a moments notice. 4. Staying off these vices is easier when you’ve got dependents and responsibilities (work, pets, etc).

Would have laughed out loud if you ended the video with an actual pint somewhere lol But in all seriousness you and I have a lot in common. I don't see anything wrong with drinking at the stag as long as it doesn't go back into the habit which sounds like it won't. Seems like you're just growing as a person. Keep it up

Great video, my story is remarkably similar to yours, intolerant to alcohol, inability to eat the day after, needing it in my youth to connect to people and be a more outgoing version of myself, the dabbling in drugs and self medicating depression with drink and drugs, the catalyst for my change wasn't exercise but moving to the other wnd of the country to a town where i knew only 1 friend, it allowed me to be myself around people, being away from everyone i knew and away from their expectations of me continuing to live like they did

I don't know if you are a reading man but a great book about character that involves drink is the mayor of casterbridge by Thomas Hardy I definitely recommend every man should read it I think and ponder the difference between Micheal henchard and Donald farfrae I do believe both are good men definitely recommend it

Young people don't drink because it's now fabulously uncool to drink. As far as the younger generation are concerned drinking is as uncool as smoking - it's just the older generation are having trouble letting go because they are all clinically addicted to it. Well done for raising awareness. I haven't drank for over 8 years, I pity those who still think they "need" alcohol to enjoy themselves.

Really thoughtful post this. I started DJing weddings with some friends at 17 so I inadvertently cut my social/drinking life very short (fortunately and unfortunately!) but a lot of what you said rang true for me. I ended up going to uni late at 22 and I got to experience some of what I'd missed, but similarly to you I think I have a bit of a sensitivity to it - I always got shit hangovers regardless of how much I drank, and as you touched on, I always felt really depressed the next day (does make sense since it's a depressant I suppose!). I used to actually get a couple of pints of tap water in the middle of a night out just to try and prevent some of the hangover (much to my friends' disgust, obviously!). Nowadays I barely drink and I'm almost the inverse of you where I find a singular drink not worth the headache/low mood in the morning, so usually I just end up having a few drinks every few months (the self-awareness not to stop myself from having more helps now). Alcohol gives everyone a confidence boost, and the clumsiness that comes with it adds to the fun, but it does sound like a lot of your fun came from being around your mates and actually having fun together, rather than just the alcohol. Great work on cutting it out so far though - alcohol is addictive regardless of whether you're an alcoholic or not, so taking a bit of control back is always good for the brain mate. :-)

Wharf and Snobs, now there’s a nostalgia hit

Tom, brilliant video! A quick question, were you ever smoking or vaping during this time?

I’ve been on this journey of trying to give up alcohol for a few years. It’s videos like this and my own love of running and galavanting around that is helping me to push back onto that path of 0% beers. Thank you Tom. You’re a legend.

To recognise that your relationship with alcohol is somewhat skewed bodes well for your future with it! I'm one of the unlucky ones (circa 10% of the UK) who didn't heed the warnings until MUCH too late, but by that time, I'd crossed an invisible line in the sand from which there is no way back to 'safe' consumption. I heartily recommend you continue to be suspicious of it. Alcohol's a non-discriminatory bastard and has the power to take not just an individual, but their entire ecosytem down with it. To have this level of self-awareness is admirable and suggests that you have the power over it rather than the other way around. Good luck mate!

Finished a college exam and listened to this on the drive back home, I really enjoyed this kind of video where you just speak about your life. Good job geowizard! I wish your family and new baby happiness.

This reminds me a lot of myself in my early to mid twenties. In a way, they were the most fun and story filled years of my youth, but I look back on them and mostly remember how lost I felt and how much shame I lived with. I think alcohol can be a way to avoid confronting things you don't like about yourself. Giving it up (or at least dramatically cutting back) allowed me to fix those things or, even better, to accept things about myself that I thought I needed to hide. I don't miss it and my life has felt infinitely better since changing my relationship to alcohol. Stoked for you man, thank you for sharing your experience.

I wonder if one could do a straight line mission across the isle of Skye

Yeeeeesss, another one hour-video. This makes my day a lot better!

Great vid, one of the most interesting geowizard videos I’ve seen to date.

Hi Tom, thanks for your content - it's truly inspiring. Are you able to provide the direct link to private YouTube videos within these posts? For some reason my combination of Brave + a VPN stops the embedded video playing.

Your previous video inspired me to give up alcohol. Something about your experience just resonated with me. Thanks Tom!

great vid tom im a young guy who doesnt drink at all really, only on special occasions and i have no real intention of drinking other than that . i was wondering if that lifestyle is better than drinking through your teens. i go camping quite abit and go running as i near my 18th.

I truly appreciated the transparency on the topic. We have similar relationships with this lovely and terrible intoxicant.. Also I think you’ve convinced my wife and I to fly over and do some hiking in England ❤️

Nice one, will put this on along with the kettle 👍

Thanks tom