Baking CERN’s Shutdown (Premium E349)

Also I visited cern in like 2013/2014 and it was super cool. Sadly didn’t see the LHC but saw one of the other experimental sites- if you go on a tour it’s basically random what they take you to see that day. And we got to cross the border into France cos the site spans Switzerland and France. Still got some really cute subatomic particle fridge magnets from there

I’m not sure if this might have been the origin or if it’s also a bird thing unrelated, but there is a audio clip of the birds calls changing in UK I’ve seen online from conversation charities that sounded similar to the one you played. However the point they were making it not that the “old days” are louder but that there’s more diversity of bird call. If I see it again I’ll link it to this comment but I wonder if this could be the legit source of that audio?

God I love how stupid Professor Xiang is. “What are they doing at CERN????” I don’t know, maybe check out their website where they tell you exactly what they’re doing.

Is that why I kept waking up at 3am every single night

Commenting from Australia here, isn’t fruit of the loom an underwear brand? Why is it an oracle now????

Pilled Mark Fisher is just Nick Land.

We need more Solid Jake content!

Incidentally, when a physicist says something like "the chances are very low, but non-zero," I want you to think of this comparison: there is a very low chance (but non-zero) that one person will buy a lottery ticket for each and every drawing for the next year and win every single time. There is a greater chance of that happening, than of the crazy scenarios people are coming up with related to these particle colliders. Physicists don't tend to say something is completely impossible. I'm a guy who worked on RHIC (started in 1999), so we also had all the people conflating RHIC-doomsday-ism with the Y2K doomers. Fun times.

Confusing Strangers on a train with Throw Mama from the Train is an all-time Jakeism.

ALL of the sudden. All of it.

Profesor Jiang's theory is just Half-Life's plot.

Very first QAA ep I ever listened to was about CERN. Thank you Liv Agar.

Does anyone have an answer as to what it means to jump timelines. I can understand why evil boogeymen want to find a reality they when. But why does it also take some portion of the general population?

Highly recommend checking out Evil season 4 episode 1 "How to split an atom" where the crew investigates a portal to Hell at a "particle accelerator facility." Also highly recommend the entire show, it's fantastic 🖤

I definitely experienced some of those symptoms starting in July. Brain fog, nasal congestion, coughing fits. I started developing rashes on my wrists and the backs of my hands. Eventually I found a dark spot above the trash can. The mixture of half eaten pizza, freezer meal boxes and spoiled subscription service meals I was too lazy to cook had created a ripe environment for the mold to grow. I left it there. "Eventually I'll get to it." I thought. Days turned into weeks. It's been a whole month now. The black spot has continued to grow and is now sprouting a fuzzy white network on top. I'm starting to see skittering in the periphery of my vision. When I hit my vape and hold it in as long as I can to try to get that head spin I did all those years ago it begins to buzz and the things on the periphery become more clear. The coughing afterwards is worse than it's ever been. Trying desperately to get the oxygen I deprived myself of only to breathe in more of the spores that I can feel making me sick. I've been feeling warmer these past couple of weeks. I'm not afraid of that growing spot. I can close my eyes and press on the backs of my eyelids after I vape until failure and the shapes become clearer to me. I don't think speaking is the right word for it because I don't hear anything. But, I can FEEL the intention. I've covered the mold in damp paper towels like I was told to. It was hard to reach the ceiling to plaster them on. I had to stop to catch my breath a couple of times. More spores entered me. The constant re-upping of moisture from my vape has given them a warm, damp place to grow. I'm not afraid of them like I was last month. The lack of oxygen as they grow and spread through my lungs and bloodstream is... it feels good. The brain fog feels warm. I can FEEL them telling me I'm doing a good job. That I'm doing the right thing just laying in bed, drinking water and hitting my vape for more moisture. When people call me it feels wrong to have to speak human words. The excuses to get off of the call are getting harder and harder to come up with. My vision has gotten weaker. Maybe it's just the darkness on the periphery closing in. It's made it difficult to order pizza to keep myself going. I don't want to go outside to get groceries, to take the trash out. The pizza boxes and uneaten crusts have formed a pile around the trash can. I know it's good for them. I'm doing good. I don't want to refill my water filter anymore. It's so hard to move around. I've started drinking straight from the tap. It reminds me of when I used to do the same as a kid. I feel like a carefree kid again. I don't know what's going to happen next. I don't care what happens next. They tell me I'm doing good. I FEEL good.

“Pilled Mark Fisher” was funny

Fuck yeah Jake! SWG was the height of the internet! I remember getting that on launch (all what 3, 4 CD ROMs?) Loading it on to my gateway, bought from a gateway store mind you. Creating a Hunter class on Tatooine, and the first thing me and like 20+ other hunters did was set out for the Jutland Wastes to hunt a Krate Dragon. We traveled for several in game days, camping at night like Bedoins from Lawrence of Arabia on the dunes making fires and telling stories. When we finally reached the spawn location of them we quickly realized their attack range was greater than the massive beasts render distance and in true Leeroy Jenkins fashion we all died a glorious death. Was definitely peak MMO.

if these people are having time problems they should stop blaming CERN and just trans their gender. did no one watch I Saw The TV Glow?

Particle accelerator? I hardly know her

I love that Jake is Snake apparently talking to Snake.

The plot of Throw Momma From the Train also involved a “trading murders” element (within the story, one of the characters is inspired by the movie version of Strangers on a Train). So, yet again, Jake’s seemingly nonsensical pop culture associations are actually on point. Never stop throwing them out there, Jake. Those with the ears to hear will hear.

More rapping PLEASE, Jake! Fucking golden

Look, everytime there's a Mandela effect shift it's just Jerry O'Connell trying to get back to his home timeline again. One of these days he's gonna make it

I think I now understand why a homeless guy on my regular jog route stopped me to ask me about "where have all the birds gone?!?!?". I told him things seemed normal to me and he started taking about nuclear energy from the sky and started naming a bunch of wealthy locals in the area. I rebutted that those people don't exist and neither do I. He is the only real person. I bid him farewell then jogged away shouting "I don't exist and I was never here".

A PMC is someone who loves AI and who has not voted for Trump but eventually will.

If you're looking into "Pilled Countries" you should look no further than Stuart England. The printing press allows more access to information than people could have ever possibly imagined and the seemed to mostly use it to spread conspiracy theories about Catholics.

Anyone know the artist and title of that synthwave song?

Star Wars Galaxies was hot fire…

CERN is silencing the birds with their hell portal and you're all laughing.

Jake's rapping saved my life

its kinda surreal that the cern thing is essentially people completely locked into internet age technology viewing as witchcraft space age technology. its almost like an inversion of that clarke's third law thing

Not jake having 3 contradictory opinions on conspiracy culture in 20 minutes 🤧 Christ he’ll say anything if it lets him be in control of the mic for 30 seconds

I’m sorry did I just hear that crabs were thrown in boiling water while still alive? It’s being banned in more and more countries because there is evidence that they feel pain. https://www.foodnavigator.com/Article/2026/01/02/live-boiling-to-be-banned-in-uk/

On the subject of conspiracy loons in the local taverns or bars ,I heard a good take on this recently that you may well be familiar with . It's the idea that every bar or pub has one , the crazy guy in the corner who's spouting some crazy conspiracy shit. So you tell a friend about him and they have one too in their local. And then you both think wouldn't it be amusing if these two were to meet up Then you dismiss that as a terrible idea and then reassure yourselves that luckily that would never happen ... And then ... The Internet came along... And boom! Here we are folks. We have found a way to connect to the Internet ! 😵

Went through a relationship spilt a few months ago, which sucked, but was kinda just your run of the mill breakup until he mentioned that he’d been feeling really off since CERN came online years ago. I had no idea what he was talking about or that he even believed in conspiracies, but I knew this was bad news. Just wild what some people’s algorithms lead them to. (I had been out of town for 3 months for school and he’d spent most of that time alone and online). This was apparently just the tip of the iceberg in terms of what he’d started believing

Great episode again, folks ! And Jake , love the singing lately ,the falsettos, even the rapping . And I'm sure I'm not in the minority in loving your random impressions, particularly of Trump and even of Epstein . Keep up the good work,folks👍

Wow great episode, the only thing that could have made it better is if Jake randomly slipped into his trump voice for no reason. Wonder why he stopped doing that?

We have reached the point where we can no longer make fun of conspiracy imbeciles until we can confirm the person to whom we are speaking is not one.

If I’m remembering correctly, the final season of Mr Robot ended up being a CERN conspiracy plotline.

FYI, Napoleon III was a pretty competent leader. We’re living more similar to the later years of Henry VIII

If you grew up believing in “spiritual warfare,” all of this makes more sense. Spiritual Warfare is a crazy conspiracy

“I’ve noticed that during this time of extreme instability where we’re all more disconnected from one another than ever in history, that my mental health feels off. Naturally, the cause is turning off a particle accelerator. It couldn’t be living in a crumbling empire.”

Yall really should google the 2016 Swiss tunnel opening I was not prepared for that

Guys Mercury was in retrograde. Case closed.

Chopped Liv Agar!? Never!

Climate change is actually causing nature sounds to decrease, it has been taking exponentially longer to get nature sounds for foley or sound effects than it was even twenty years ago. The bugs are dying and everything that eats the bugs are reducing in numbers due to this.

I played the beta of stick.

Regarding the “eating beef as a political act” bit, there is an episode of the “Polite Conversations” podcast from a few years ago about it: https://www.patreon.com/posts/66587842

I did notice that the show Evil was cancelled after doing an episode on a gateway to hell at a particle accelerator. COINCIDENCE???

This highlights one of the root causes of conspiracy theories. They tend to develop in the cracks between creative ideas and real scientific knowledge. I don’t believe that the internet and social media would cause so much trouble if we had… oh I don’t know, a quality education system.

I keep thinking about the Asimov book Nightfall lately, where there’s a cataclysmic natural event predicted by scientists, and then the scientists are blamed for the event that they tried to stop, hunted down by rabid chuds, and brutally murdered, setting society back literally thousands of years. Idk why though.

Julian is a crab

Some medieval pig farmer from Karmøy is way more respectable in their ignorance. These modern ignorants have no excuse

My favourite conspiracy theory is that Morrisey predicted the death of princess Diana on the "queen is dead" album.

Non-demonical

At least I’m not listening to this on mushrooms in a Seattle ferry terminal 😬

Anyone know what episode professor jiang was talking about CERN on? some of my friends think he's "smart" because of his Iran takes, and I've been building a playlist of his most batshit takes.

I really don’t get why ppl who want an external reason why “things shift” on a monthly ish basis are using CERN when astrology has always been serviceable for this

Chopped and washed Liv Agar? Never!

"women are having double periods or no periods " in other words "the normal fluctuation between different women and even within an individual " i knew a woman who would never get her period unless she was traveling. people think it's supposed to be like machinery and it's more erratic and nonsensical for lots of vagina having people

Lmao Proff Jiang using game theory to discover demon portals

Instead of "globe head"I been using the identifier "spherical cleric" - rolls off the tongue better. Like a ball.

25:01 Jake starts rapping

Just because I like clarifying things: The thing about Geneva being identified as the location of Satan's throne in Chapter 2 of Revelations is based on confusing two people named Antipas. The particular verses in question are written to the church in Pergamum, near the modern city of Izmir, Turkey, where there was a big altar of Zeus. Antipas of Pergamum has been revered as a martyr and saint for centuries. This was obviously not the same person as Herod Antipas, son of Herod the Great of Judea. The historian Josephus wrote that he fell out of favor with the Romans and was exiled to what is now Lyon, France. But not Geneva. And maybe he died in Spain. And clearly there is no hint of him having become a Christian martyr or anything involving Satan. This is a common sort of thing: to accept that Revelations verse as evidence of the Satanic CERN conspiracy theory, you have to first buy into a whole other conspiracy theory where the biographies of St. Antipas of Pergamum and Herod Antipas have been faked to conceal their being just one person (and also he was martyred in Geneva).

i haven't listened yet, but i just wantef to brag that i got to see the national synchrotron light source ii during a campus trip to visit brookhaven labs: https://www.bnl.gov/nsls2/ sadly, their heavy ion collider was shut down previous to my visit, bc they'll be changing it to an electron-ion collider

btw you CAN kill the crustacean before throwing them in boiling water.

Liv!

I'm starting to get tired of Travis' trans erasure

Liv Agar!

Hell yeah brothers