EARLY EPISODE: The Turtle, The World's First Combat Submarine

very on brand for an episode to start with the gritty R rated reboot of magic tree house and ended with joe canonically becoming earth crisis' strongest xvx pit warrior by accident

I’m downloading this for my submarine patrol just so I can laugh and be sad that things haven’t changed much. As some crews say “Bear Down!”

My dad is convinced we're related to the guy who invented this thing. I refuse to believe it lol

This could be my other podcasts bleeding into one another but they did already cover this in a smaller way either in one of those early episodes where he did several smaller topics or a riff from the confederate sub.

This kid i knew robbed young king Dave for a bunch of weed with a bb gun. It's cool ppl outside of nj remember him.

Ezra Lee = 1776 Tom Clancy character

What is Wikipedia, if not the world’s largest portajohn wall argument?

Soviet copyright is actually a huge can of worms, particularly pre-1973: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copyright_law_of_the_Soviet_Union The reason I know about this is the ridiculous black-box copyright status of many famous historical Soviet propaganda posters, which makes it nearly impossible to find high-quality digitizations online. Basically the problem is that because the copyright was originally non-transferable (merely licensable) from the original author, but copyright subsequently became an heritable asset, the copyrights in question are typically owned by random heirs who don’t know and don’t care that they own the copyright, unlike, say, corporate-owned collections. There are a handful of Soviet propaganda posters on Alamy, but it’s unclear whether these are actually properly licensed or are merely high-quality but nonetheless legally bootleg scans. As an aside, Alamy is a lot sketchier than other stock-asset catalogs because it is not based in the US and therefore does not follow Bridgeman v. Corel: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridgeman_Art_Library_v._Corel_Corp.

The time-traveling, overflowing-with-shit portajohn is, weirdly, a major plot point (spoiler) in the novel The Man from Primrose Lane (which plays extremely coy about being a time-travel novel). https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12476620-the-man-from-primrose-lane

We could still smoke on my first submarine, usually down near the diesel engine. Sometimes the oxygen level would be so low you could barely light a lighter. Vapes were allowed too, but then the electricians kept fiddling with them to up the nicotine output, and enough of them exploded that they’ve been banned on navy ships ever since.

Burning one in Machinery Forward, sitting on the Auxiliary Diesel inlet pipes, straight up one of the best things after a fucking orse drill set

My dad was a submariner and one time when I was trying to change career out of cheffing at restaurants while living in the Hague, he suggested "maybe you can see if you can get a job as a chef on a submarine in the Dutch navy." Still the best of his terrible career advice.

Nate, I see you with that Better Than Ezra reference.

Listening to that intro like “This remake of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure is going in a wildly different direction.”

The cossack remark jumpscared me cause "cossack submarines" is an ironic meme in Ukraine born out of schizo history channel-like "documentaries"

The Geedunk is the lounge!

Anytime anyone mentions bubbles in waters I can't help but think of the scene from men in tights where the king is sitting in his hot tub, his servants are blowing horns in the tub to cause bubbles. He looks like up and just says "what, these aren't MY bubbles". Gets me Everytime. Farts will forever be funny.

Blue Whales down there getting fucked up on sonar and singing Not Like US Navy

A weaponized whale that fights the British is probably a 120 dollar Age of Sigmar model

The Hunley was less of a submarine and more of a live-trap for racists that you'd throw in the water when it was full

You know every time I hear him I keep thinking of the Barney copter from the Flintstones

Look up Duke Riley, the artist who built a replica of the Turtle as a response to the theater of security during the Bush Administration

it rules how you can draw a straight line from this to the cuban missile crisis

Ah, Cornelius Drebbel, famously name checked in that one episode of Sealab. Also I like this Revolutionary MacGuyver guy.

I love the concept of Neanderthal DNA and that can actually be a thing. Great job, fellas!

Damn, another few decades in submarine history and Tom would have gotten his Random Irish Guy Shows Up For No Reason™ moment: John Philip Holland, the first guy to build a submarine the US Navy was willing to pay for: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Philip_Holland?wprov=sfla1

Hanging with my homies sealed inside a gas canister over deep ocean, currently only sinking the correct amount