EARLY EPISODE: The Battle of Fort Driant

In case you’re wondering, I just ruined my WWII studies professors’ day with Patton facts, right before an 8 hour Patton symposium. Much of it I first learned from you. So, you’re really doing the lords work lmao

Oh, I can 100% buy that Montgomery was just as much of a sex pest as literally every single other British aristocrat of the era. TERF Island used to be called Pedo Island.

patton was a piece of shit but his yacht sails out of salem, ma now and it’s actually pretty nice

The guys name in Doom is Flynn Taggart, you Philistines. Read one of the five Doom novels

Someone told Patton the Niese was in Germany and he was in a hurry to get there

tfw you're about to climb into a bunker and your lt hands you a ball of string with some warning about the waffinotaur ss

The snakes were tnt, it's a pushing charge vs a cutting one, not good on concrete

“Fuck it I ate the opp”

Always love Dracula flow appreciation

“Is it okay to think that Nazi uniforms look cool?” Well, considering the fact that they were literally *designed* to look cool, I think the appropriate attitude towards Nazi uniforms is to consider them obnoxiously try-hard.

During my deployment to Afghanistan in 2012, My route clearance patrol Got put on a mission called operation shrimp's net

My fiancé is Brazilian and I love her family. My childhood best friend is also Brazilian. Being cool and also insane at the same time is a pretty accurate description of Brazilians.

No mention of the Brazilian funkeiro who died while having devils a three way with an Instagram model and his homie. He jumped three stories off the balcony to avoid being caught by his wife by jumping into the hotel pool. He did not hit the pool.

I'm surprised we didn't have an MGSV parallel between 'Big Boss' George Patton, and Punished 'Venom' Jorge Paton

Nate: “I hope you all are doing well” My brother in Christ’s little brother I am a member of this community, of course I’m not doing well mentally 🤣🤣

molemaxd yes this is what i'm here for

The problem with putting the make-up on goth serpents? No eyelids.

I definitely think that Patton and his niece being in love is worse than them just fucking because it presumes that someone could be deeply in love with George Patton.

I've said it before but I know one of Montgomery's (then) young pen pals. He's now an author and military historian of some note himself.

Just imagining Brazilian Patton's army chanting "Vai morrer!" before each offensive.

9:05 [Everyone disliked that]

Also, I was flippin bricks for Mansa Musa before ya'll were even a type 1 civilization.

The story of Blaskowitz is one of my absolute favorite individual stories of the war. Just a note - it's more likely he was killed by his prison guards than jumped from the window willingly because the prison guards that watched Nazi war criminals tended to be former SS men - that is a documented fact. And Blaskowitz had a history of trying to prosecute SS men... it's likely he was killed as revenge and to silence him. Also, not to overshare but I had a professor whose actual name was B.J. Blaskowicz - which was very cool. He did in fact teach about WW2.

I've never been more proud of being French than hearing Nate's meme of the year is the 'Vous gardez calme / Vous deviene fou". This is peak French cultural exports right there.

Not defending Patton but it makes it less gross that it was his niece by marriage not by blood—I believe I read that she was Patton’s wife’s half-niece—but still—don’t have affairs with your niece regardless

Seppuku by weinermobile.

I've got ants.

All I can think of after the Chat about Monty and Patton's messed up love affairs' is someone needs to make an awful musical about this.

i think Bradley had trouble keeping Patton in line because Bradley had been his subordinate at the start of the war and, relatedly, all of these guys had two ranks: Regular Army ranks and US Army ranks (the Regular Army being the rump volunteer force and the US Army being the conscript army that actually fought WWII) and the fact that Patton outranked Bradley by their Regular Army ranks, while meaning nothing operationally, gave Patton an edge in prestige

Operation Skanky Skink

“Americans and Germans found themselves at the same hole.” Thank God it wasn’t their nieces? …yeah, I’m not proud of that one.

Hitler also fucked his niece and was the result of his father fucking his niece so that was yet another thing he and Patton had in common

Blaskowitz: the highest ranking Nazi officer to unironically still ask “are we the baddies?”

I don't blame Bradley for not trying to keep Patton in line, cause you know that motherfucker would show up with a pistol to challenge him to a duel if he tried, psycho that Patton was.

I want the American seppuku shirt

Oooh an episode about something I've never heard of. Will it be hilarious or horrifying?

I don’t know anything about this!