Do My Action Scenes Work?
i’ve seen a few comments saying some of my fight scenes are hard to follow and some people prefer to skip them, so i want to check in with y’all because other people say they prefer my action
i write exclusively from the limited perspective of the main character (or whoever the interlude is focused on). the only time i switch to objective (camera eye) perspective is for nameless grunts or background action that doesn’t need a POV character.
so my question is: do you struggle with my third-person limited writing style for fight scenes?
why i use third-person limited in combat
for me, this is the most immersive way to write action. the chaos, the uncertainty, the disorientation—it all hits harder when you’re locked inside one character’s head.
you don’t know what’s happening behind you.
you can only react to what you perceive in the moment.
every attack, feint, and mistake is yours to deal with in real time.
it’s visceral. it’s tense. it forces you to experience the fight, not just observe it.
why omniscient third-person is easier for readers
omniscient (god’s eye) can be way clearer because:
✔️ it lets me jump between characters mid-fight.
✔️ i can reveal tactics and strategies no single character knows.
✔️ i can show threats before they happen, creating dramatic irony.
✔️ it works well for large-scale battles with multiple key players.
it’s like watching a strategy game—you see everything, but you aren’t inside anyone’s head.
why objective third-person feels cinematic
objective (camera eye) is the most “show, don’t tell” style.
✔️ no thoughts, just external action and dialogue.
✔️ reads like a film scene, where everything is visual.
✔️ forces me to show emotions through body language, movement, and reactions.
but it also distances you from the character. you’re watching them fight, not feeling what they feel.
so what works best for you?
i personally think third-person limited is the most immersive, but i want to know what you think.
do my fight scenes work for you?
are they hard to follow?
would you prefer more omniscient moments in big battles?
drop your thoughts in the comments—i want to get this right.
Comments (21)
The fight scenes are fine.
I've never personally had a problem with your fight scenes. If anything the most annoying thing I find about your story's is that it you spend too much time building up the character. Like your Mass effect story for example the main character doesn't really build anything ground breaking for the Mass effect universe until almost 20 or more chapters in.
Yes, I like to write more character-focused than power-focused works
I like your fight scenes and while they can occasionally feel hectic, well, that's a fight for you. For dramatic purposes the occasional "zoom out and here's the thing(s) I missed" might work, but when we're in the thick of it, it works
I prefer the third person POV. I think adding different perspectives helps better add to the story.
I agree that it works when the POV character doesn't know how to fight. It's chaotic and confusing be the character is confused and surrounded by chaos. The problem is when you have experienced fighters in situations that should in no way challenge them. It still feels like they are barely surviving and have no idea what's happening.
Honestly, I prefer your first person point of view, it makes the fighting MUCH more emersive, but, I do think some mini-interludes from the opponents would give these kind of scenes more... Depth is the best word I can think of.
your fight scenes can be hard to follow but only because fights are hard to follow, it might help to do scenes from another person's perspective later so that the audience can see from a different view. but low level fights are pretty much just throwing out shit and hoping the other guy gives up first, and high level combat is about flow vs traps and tricks. understanding what's happening in a fight should get easier as the characters involved get better at fighting I think otherwise it's fine. take fool the devil for instance, xander vs a normal guy in that story should be easy to follow for xander because he's just so much more experienced and overall faster. but in a fighting chance it makes sense that our boy can't keep up with literal mobs of enemies coming after him at once.
I think for me i have trouble either some of your work that is ironically more focused on "moves" like some of the older greg vs and life is a game as they tend to break a fights momentum however you started to kinda state the characters intention before hand which has helped a lot in the flow of a fight.
Funny enough hand to hand has always felt smoother for you and fighting chance is definitely on the right foot. And for reference, to me Sunnyvale devile is the best action scenes I've followed just because of how much personality and flow Xanders fights have.
I’ve read a frankly insane amount of fanfics across the past 9 years. So I’ve seen both terrible, bad, mid, good, great, and genuinely perfect action writing. You land between good and great with your most recent works, wobbles between those at times but overall you’re doing a good job. Time or exposing yourself to other high end writing will get you touching perfect combat writing eventually I can tell. Anyone complaining is most likely referencing earlier work maybe, or massive disasters meth fueled rampage arc. But that arc I think is meant to feel chaotic, it fit the tone and the situation well given what he was going through.
what would you define as perfect
I like your fight scenes. Looking at your most recent chapter, I think you could add maybe one sentence that helps describe what's happening in the fight in terms of context, like the room Zain's in. Or even toss in a single line of thought. It could help elongate your fight scenes a bit, so that there aren't too many em dashes and so that the direct action is fast-paced, but we have time to process what's going on. I don't know too much about writing so maybe I'm just flat-out wrong. You have a lot of "show, not tell", which is really good, but also sometimes some "telling" helps me better understand what's going on.
Gotcha
I like them. As you said its more chaotic and to me atleast makes them more enjoyable yo read.
Stick with it your doing a fantastic job.
I enjoy your fight scenes. They feel visceral and real.
Thank you.
Personally a big fan of the way you write fight scenes. Like you said it immerses the reader into the scene more and creates some great chaos
I don’t have any trouble following your action senes in your new stuff but you old work definitely had that problem.
Which old work, specifically?