D&D Court : Dice-Eating Dogs, Squeamish Little Freaks and The Baldur's Gate Betrayal

For the dread question: my friends and I accidentally invented a new version of Jenga last Christmas that involves using snactiv finger chopsticks to pull the blocks. You're not allowed to touch the tower with your actual hands at all. It's remarkably playable, but has enough of a learning curve to maybe throw off your players.

Just keep some toilet paper or tissue box in the litter room for this situation?

This episode is an instant classic for me 🤣

Watch any of the Dread episodes on Smosh Games. George Primavera is a MASTER at this. Time limits, having to use your off hand, not knowing how many you have to pull, there are all kinds of tricks.

I’ve got to learn not to snack during NaddPod time

As someone who lived in the 12 story of a dorm building I for sure ignored more than a handful of alarms. Especially after I tore my meniscus that year

Whoa, shout out to Emily for choosing my confession! And such a simple and obvious answer it is. Gonna go write up my fighter that couldn't save their friend.. but like, the friend is still alive just my ego is bruised by it 😅

My wife and I are both listening to the dnd court while going to sleep case while going to sleep. I asked if she wrote in and when we got to the part where the wife skips episodes with guests and my wife said “did YOU write in?”

*me, also falling asleep to dnd court*

Also falling asleep to NADDPOD every night but I’ll take all the guests with a side of Hot Boy Summer please

Can’t believe I haven’t learned by now to not listen to naddpod while I’m eating

I have a Trinyvale and One-Shot playlist that I cycle through to fall to sleep to. I just put on the episode timer and that's enough. I just cannot be alone with my own thoughts or I won't sleep! Being lulled to sleep by NADDPOD isn't an isolated incident!

So I haven’t listened to anything naddpod for a while (audhd struggle of being overwhelmed that I’ve missed so many so then I panic and then I just keep missing more). So to return after many months to this episode and learn Murph is barehanding turds was truly so funny that I was like okay it really doesn’t matter what episode I’m starting at because I will be laughing and my anxiety will be forgotten 😂

Wait until you remove the dry turd from your senior cat's butthole as she races onto the bed in the middle of the night

Kay have to admit I fall asleep to dnd court or surprise round most nights. But I love the guest like players and DMs lawyer is my favorite. I will listen to Lou, aly or Zac with the two crew at any moment to lull me to sleep

my condo has had 60+ fire alarms and 0 fires. i stick around during the noise to help calm the cats. checkmate, Murph

🎵They call me Wifey Worm🎵 I need Emily to do a full Weird Al esque parody

You grab a turd and then you wash your hands right, Murph? ....haha.... then you wash your hands right 😰

Emily will now be checking every set of dice sent to her.

They know this is in the main episode feed right?

Hello, I work in a major east coast Ivy League hospital. The fire alarm goes off at least once a week and literally nobody evacuates.

I'm not the wife in question, but I am A wife that also only falls asleep to D&D court...

I’m picturing the cat turd bit serving as the main plot in Jake and Amir: Table Read 3. Everyone is reading through the script and one part involves picking up cat turds. Jake mimes picking them up the “wrong way” and Murph would be like “That’s not how you do it. You would just pick up a try turd with your bare hand.” Amir makes a joke and everybody starts laughing, which causes Murph to freak out on Jake.

Jenga - give them gloves. Ordinary, cheap, woollen gloves. You can still play, but your feedback and dexterity are ever-so-slightly reduced. And no additional set up required.

I don’t know what it is but this podcast is calming. Back when I was having some sleep issues, I would fall asleep to random d&d court or short rest episodes lol

I just started the Americans and was not expecting it to come up … I swear sometimes they put on wigs to make a damn phone call

Not gonna lie, I’m the same as that guy’s wife. I made a large playlist of all the D&D Courts available on the $5 Patreon feed of Spotify and I regularly play it to go to sleep. It is very relaxing! I do play the guest episodes though

I also fall asleep to yall! I start each night in the area of the episode that I fell asleep the previous night until I get through full episodes. I don’t know why but all the dice rolling is really calming to me.

Murph cupping dry t’s from Brucie! More like a tiny b(iohazard)!

I fall asleep listening to Naddpod every single night, I cycle through the campaigns. I’m sure I’ll have to wean myself off it at some point, and I dread that day

I am also lulled to sleep by Dungeon Court! Started the show right after my second kid was born and it carried me through many a sleepless night. Now it's like an ambien

I'm 7 minutes in and almost puking in my Uber... I am begging y'all 😂😂😂

Honestly it doesn't sound like theres a big difference between how Meatball and my 18month old son behave when I try and Discord DM. Everything is food.

Not even Batman could get me to admit what Murph said so casually

OMG I did NOT expect the letter of the Cossacks of Zaporizhzhia to be quoted in Dungeon Court, that just made my DAY! :D

this is an all timer dungeon court for me

This is my favorite opening case we have ever had

If I was the DM with the “illusion made real” machine, I would have turned the money into a sentient heap of cash, like Muppet vegetables. There you go, the illusion is a guy!

Murph coming for me as an older brother of 8 years…

This was incredibly validating to listen to as a 27 year old... I'm doing better than I thought 🥲

I just don’t get why Murph hates meatball so much…

MURPH THIS IS A HUGE L PLEASE NEVER USE YOUR BARE HANDS 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

For better or worse, palming turds is tall guy energy

Jake making a paper mache smoothy 🤮

You should not have been honest about the cat turd thing 😬

A massive L for Brian “Turdfingers” Murphy this ep

I've had cats for 20+ years and have never dry palmed one of their turds . Murph confirmed scat fetish

Repeatedly describing the bare-handed picking up of the cat shit as "palming it" is a crime and Murph needs to be punished

oh my god MURPH

Did the fire department not go room to room for the fire alarm? That’s how it went in my experience of dorm alarms

Nah Murph raw dogging cat turd is a MASSIVE L

Happy October

I think turdgate might be the new world record for Murph turning into the villain of the episode

I think the punishment should have been Meatball pictures. I wanna see this dice eating dog.

Fully on Murph’s side with the cat turd thing.

Wasn't it Frankie who offered someone a 20 dollar bill?

So funny, I JUST listened to the band of boobs vs the astral dadnaught (and short rest) with the origin of Crabster and Jake’s fear of them

I grew up in a family who raised competition dogs. Dogs and dog training were an immense part of my life for 30 years. The idea of refusing to replace someone's property after my dog fucking ATE IT is UNTHINKABLE. This happens even one time to me and I'm putting my foot down: the dog owner replaces the die or I quit the game. Full stop.

Not a Dragon Pussy conversation but a Dip Spit conversation

Really wish I hadn't been eating lunch during the first case.

The Spotify release of this dungeon court is just under 25 min for some reason. It randomly cuts off.

Just thinking about the fighter confession, if they want to be an almost-guaranteed badass barbarian is the way to go. The advantage on strength checks is no joke! Fighters are fun but failing rolls feels extra common because they don't get nearly as many buffs as some other classes.

I have also listened to dnd court for sleep for YEARS and also get excited when a new episodes drop just before bed, though I do leave in the guest episodes

Murph! No!

Imagine being 27 and getting shamed by a firefighter when they're checking the building and they find you playing dnd.

If a dog eats something I own more than once I simply don’t go to that house anymore

For the dread one I saw something about adding like issues on the block that could be a boon or bust for the player so they have to be strategic

I also fall asleep to D&D Court, it's weirdly soothing!

Imagine a cotton candy weaving spider to lure humans into getting stuck, great encounter

I vibe with “Demand to live this down immediately energy.”

Not just keeping meatball out of the room is wild to me. My dog eats a dice and that is never happening again even if they poop it out, I'd be so anxious the whole time

For the platinum bar story I think there was an easy answer for the DM. Yes the bank could have stopped them because it was so suspicious. However let’s say it worked if the next morning the bank employee goes into the vault and sees that 1 million gold worth of platinum is missing they will set off alarms. Then it be pretty easy to connect the dots that in a magical world full of trickery this group of suspicious people have you this money. Then the exact bars are now missing nothing else just the exact ones from this crew. So I’d make it a criminal investigation putting out bounties in my game. They committed what is likely a major crime in that kingdom so instead of a cheap little devil popping out its above board and makes sense in universe for them to be outlaws.

Timezones suck the episodes always drop at 2am for me :/

The VITRIOL is Murph’s voice when going at meatball, only to follow that up with palming turds. I love him😂

How have the poop dice not become only for baddies rolls? The DM doesn’t mind, and the “you got shit on” jokes are right there

Here’s the thing about the dice, the plastic is going to hold on to bacteria whereas a metal ring is anti-microbial and should be good with a disinfecting. Also tbt to me spending a week with my wife going through dog poop, only to find the missing ring in the bottom of my sock drawer.

A die that's been in a dog is probably good at rolling over...

Literally the only naddpod ep that I can’t fall asleep to is biggest loreser bc the category sound effects are just SO horrific

I'll palm hand a dry cat turd as well Murph.

Murphy noo

My wifes and my 3 month old will only sleep through the night and nap if NADDPOD is playing. Most likely due to us listening to it on drives to work and sleeping Right now, listening to this, shes asleep in my arms to the sweet sounds of dice christ

As a long haired cat owner I get you Murph I’m not about to grab a whole ass broom for a small dried up turd

my party did once bribe a bunch of low tier bandit type enemies to just leave. we were like "we will match your employer's pay for you to walk out of here" and for 10 gold each we didn't have to fight like 7 extra dudes

Keep your dice rolls on the table people!

I would only accept metal dice back. The plastic ones are permanently infected. Cannot be truly cleaned Also, Murph is certainly riddled with Toxoplasmosis. Just absolutely awash in it.

Can’t believe Murph hates Meatball so much smh

Murph hates dogs confirmed

Murph hates dogs? And meatballs?! And gets his rocks off barehanding cat turds?!? You think you know a guy...

As someone that doesn't care much for dogs, I'm cursed in that they *know* you don't like them and want to change your mind. Every time I went to my DM's house for a game, his small-dragon sized Pitbull would walk past the 3 people at the table that loved dogs to try and prod me for attention. I lived that Meatball life once a week, but at least he didn't eat my dice.

Murph 100% has toxoplasmosis.

“You have to throw out your dogshit dice.”

They call me the wife worm Good morning how are you I'm the wife worm I'm interested in law I'm not a real bailiff but I am a real worm I am an actual worm

Jenga: colour the ends of the blocks four different colours, roll a d4 and they have to pick a block of that colour

Cali one time when negotiating with and npc randomly said “i believe they also said you’d give us money” and then got something out of it 😂

I'm having a hard time divorcing the name "Meatball" from the drag queen of the same name

Murph’s monologue brought tears of laughter to my eyes 😂💗

I’m just gonna palm that thing 😂😂😂

Not 10 minutes in and this is an all timer episode thank you for this utter gift

Omfg Murph, I am so there with the "dry turd" situation, soap exists 🤷🏼‍♀️ tho in context it did sound a bit like you were hand cleaning a litterbox 🤣🤣 Please never change, you guys are amazing

Wow I loved imagining listening to this along with the woman who’s husband submitted and her absolutely laughing at him when they completely sided with her

I also will pick up the occasional dry cat turd but I use a tissue or a paper towel at least lmao

U simply have to post a transcript of the cat shit monologue, so we can use it for auditions

Was this episode aired previously? I swear I remember listening about the dog and the Baldurs gate players before

Calder bribed that ogre bounty hunter in Esry

worst ep to listen to as a 27 year old 10/10

I had the same problem with Dread. My solution was to replace the Jenga tower with a d6 system where, based on the number of players, you start with a pool of dice and each time you roll you remove one dice from the pool. If all the dice you roll are 1s you die.

The Apple podcast episode still cuts off after 24 minutes.

It’s not meatball’s fault, it’s his parents faults for not training him properly and then on top of it not replacing the dice when his dog eats them, like dude this is your fault. Also there’s no way the stuff is making it through digestion without being impacted in some way 😭😭😭

Woah, hi other Shan G!! I am a fellow Shan G, who like your wife, also falls asleep to old dungeon court episodes 😂 I felt very seen!

I strongly believe that although the players should not need to accept their poop dice back, it would be funny if next to the dice fund jar, the DM also had a poop die jar on the mantel, full of all of meatball's trophies (washed of course)

MURRRRRPH YOU CANT BAREHAND A CAT TURD WHAT THE HELLLLL

I love when Murph gives Emily the ick

i needed this

Short ep, eh?

Murph: “…I’ll grab it and throw it in the trash” Murph was clogging the drain. I am certain of it now. The bits of cat litter and poop on his fingers caused the hair to clog more easily. Emily is innocent

Even though my DM clearly had the little devil guy steal the second half of the episode, I’m just thrilled to know it was seen :)

Chode sode!

Hell nah put the dog outside

The episode is only 22 minutes haha!

Give us justice Pimplo!

I think the episode cuts out halfway through? Its only 24 mins long and it seems to end in the middle of a conversation

Here we go!

Ok guys finally caught it early hopefully someone sees this and lets Emily know Sebulba is literally a main character in the new star wars pod racing game with several flash back missions as him!

Dun dun!