D&D Court: Stubborn DMs, and Immovable Rods

“A reunion of cousins” is underrated 😂😂

I believe the cliff jumpers throw rocks into the water for another reason, not to break surface tension. I remember seeing something about how doing it to break surface tension is a myth and they do it for several other reasons.

On the water walk one, pretty sure the Dex check was made to allow the fighter to determine which direction they were gonna be thrown as opposed to the DM/dragon choosing. I suppose the DM could've called for a Dex Save to maybe try and disperse some of the fall damage - kinda how like parkour peeps can jump off 2nd stories and roll to avoid any injuries/damage.

“Gandalf chuggin’ on the ELF” 🤣🤣🤣

Gang, 2024 buttons it up. It says IN the spell exactly what falling in water does. It says you go through it harmlessly into the water.

the scream talk in this one literally killed me because that’s my favorite movie series ever lmfao

So here’s my take on the water walk situation, I think it’s in how you visualize it, like you could imagine (and I feel like I’ve seen this in cartoons or something) that the spell makes it so that you can walk on water as though it were a water bed, so like it’s kinda like the spell puts a thick film over the water but because underneath the film it’s still a malleable liquid, it would have some give and being flung onto it would be like kinda falling into a safety net and that’s maybe the image the players had in their head but that wasn’t the DM’s interpretation and ultimately that’s what matters

In the case of the battle of the mechanical and the mechanical dragon, the player asked for the check to aim. He aimed for the water. He simply wanted to aim. What he hits is negligible. The DM granted his request. No problem there. Would agree with the DM

Little late to the chat, but didn’t Murph in campaign 1 have one of the legendary hero’s jump of the ship into water? I think he said he would most likely live but only because he was so high level

“Don’t forget that you are your cousin’s cousin” and “Cousin is a road that goes both ways” are top tier gas station tshirts

If anything the water walking case should have resulted in the fighter being stone skipped. Falling 100+ feet into water is basically hitting solid ground

Caldwell's cork materials angle was super solid, as bouyancy is probably the conception of water walk. Almost like if you had life vests on your feet, you jump in and your feet submerge before popping you back up to the surface. If you step gently onto the water you never submerge at all but if you dive in you'll probably get wet at first then bob back to equilibrium on the surface. Take a bonus action and you can swim against the increased bouyancy to force yourself under water. In that scenario it will be favorable to fall on water rather than hitting concrete. Fall from tremendous height however and it will make little difference. All becomes moot when you take the spell words as written and you treat the water "as if it were solid ground". Though the word "harmless" could be argued.

The spell also says "creatures crossing molten lava can still take damage from the heat". So they're not immune to the damage caused by a liquid surface. The spell isn't intended to work as feather fall

When they said run on the water like those lizards, all I could think about is Justin Long in Sasquatch Gang

Assuming NPCs are bad because the voice is boring is exactly the kind of meta-gaming that people should be avoiding as opposed to all the cases where someone screams "That's meta-gaming" about like nothing

I'm glad Grizby is still haunting the podcast

Would just like to like the Gentlepeople of the Court and Clergy know that I rolled quite high in tonight’s Curse of Strahd session. Almost died, but it was my fault (jumped into the middle of a group of enemies oops) Thankfully I showed cousin kindness and cousin repaid the kindness. My Cabal of Cousins and I are on a road that goes two ways.

Caldwell and Murph going back and forth about corky-ness of a person with water walk made me laugh so hard I nearly crashed my car.

i am a ranger in real life, i have an english longbow that i shoot in competitions. i have spare bowstrings always and so would an adventurer absolutely no question. also, i know no one cares, but you have to unstring your bow when you're not using it or the bow will lose tension over time and become less powerful. so stringing your bow is not some crazy high level thing that you do when you're really good, it's something you do *every single time you use your bow*. being good at it is about speed and fluidity of movement. a fantasy ranger could probably string their bow as swiftly as a warrior could draw a great sword. the only universe in which i would accept the DMs argument is if something happened to the stave that made it unusable - that could not be fixed even by an experienced archer (irl) because bows rely on a specific distribution of tension along the stave and weak points disrupt that line. you can't repair it, you have to build a new stave, since bows are built from a continuous piece of wood. anything on the stave that could be repaired on the fly would not stop you from using it in a fight. i actually played at a table with a similar rule, but the consequence of a nat 1 was that your weapon took a "notch" and if you got 3 "notches" it would break. however, the notches could be repaired with a 25 craft check (this was 3.5 so that was not too insane) but you could only attempt it 3 times or you would get another notch. i liked that a lot better.

A ranger should be carrying spare strings, and the is NO way someone who uses a bow with any regularity can’t string it

The ranger not being able to even try and repair their bowstring seems so crazy to me. And they don’t carry spare bowstrings? Like bowstrings wear out surely they would carry spares if we’re getting into the weeds of it all. Especially in world where bowstrings are so bad they can break every fight lol. It’s like a bard not having spare strings for their lute. Also you keep a bow unstrung so whenever you use it you restring it.

THE SIDNEY OPERA HOUSE!

the no jerk jury

The (2024) wording of water walk is: "This spell grants the ability to move across any liquid surface - such as water, acid, mud, snow, quicksand, or lava - as if it were harmless solid ground" It does not turn the liquid into solid ground. It allows you to move across it as if it were solid ground. So if you're doing something else (like diving into it) the assumption would be that it would act as normal water (and the strength/dex save 1/2 damage rule would apply.) If you go with the argument that it would act like solid ground does that mean that if you have water walk cast on you, and you drink some water, it's like you're pouring solid ground into your mouth?

Dice Christ is teaching you to to appreciate what you have and not fudge your roles

Regarding the waterwalking case, try this on for size: “transforms water into harmless solid ground”. If it’s solid ground then you should take full falling damage - the water effectively acts as packed earth. BUTTTTT it’s “harmless” solid ground, so there’s a case for landing solid on the ground, but taking zero damage because the ground cannot cause harm… thoughts?

I think the most damning piece of evidence in the first case is the out of character denial of the party. I deeply hope Piss Angle attacked this dishonorable orc to claim his glorious and rightful prize of an uncommon metal rod.

"LEGOLAS! LE-GO-LAS!!" is going straight into my Naddpod echolalia collection!

I think the Court overlooked a major component of the wording of Water Walk: the creature treats the water surface as a “HARMLESS solid ground.” Normally, all ground is potentially harmful if you hit it with enough velocity, so clearly this spell makes it so the creature becomes immune to any type of harm the ground may cause to them, including falling damage.

Hear me out, Dex check should’ve counted for the player throwing an item to break the surface tension of the water, less damage and they lose a valuable item

If you murder someone while committing to a bit it should count as involuntary

On the Shadow Mastiff question- 4 Shadow Mastiffs vs 3 level 5 PCs isn't a deadly encounter. It's low moderate.

“LEGO-LOSS” -Emily Axford

Am I crazy to think its so strange that for the Water Walk question, they took the Bonus Action things as damning evidence, but completely ignored the other half of the same sentence?? "An affected target must take a Bonus Action to pass from the liquid's surface into the liquid itself and vice versa, but if the target falls into the liquid, the target passes through the surface into the liquid below."

Emily is identifying the personality hire NPCs

The best solve I’ve instituted for rolling Nat 1’s is you gain a Hero Point that can be used on another turn to either reroll or give yourself advantage. It’s foolproof and really incentivizes players to take that tiny L for a big W later.

Canonically it's called "destroy dick December" which isn't the most inclusive but it is provocative, it gets the people going

“Uh oh I dropped my eggs” made me pause so I could compose myself

Basketball example throwback to the classic Sphere And Ear episode (no jello this time though)!

Standard men’s high diving is 27 m or 89 ft. I don’t think a heroic character who succeeded on a dex check should take full falling damage. Although I agree that Water Walking could make the water act like solid ground.

I am humbled by your fair ruling. Thank you Supreme Crit!! To quick clarify why I (the DM) asked for the Dex check, I hadn’t remembered they had casted water walk. Once they knew they were landing on water, they reminded me, and that’s when the discussion ensued. My group is entirely not upset about this but we take NADDPOD rulings very seriously ;) they’ve been ordered to pencil dive into rocks and run from the government ASAP!! thank you again.

Fapruary

On the topic of socking NPC’s - C1 E21 - (coincidentally i listened to this episode during my re-listen immediately after this Dungeon Court) On their way to the Crick, the gnome merchant Thrifty Shwifty offers a healing potion for 100g before lowering it to 70 (lowest he will go); to which Moonshine responds, “I sock him” 😅 😁🤭🤭🤭

it was not the right decision to listen to this while getting my nails done. when murph called caldwell brother i laughed so hard in the silent studio 😭

Emily repeatedly asserting that there's no Youtube in Borovia while Murph kept trying to insist that he was just referring to himself as an example is such a fun insight into their dynamic.

So for the immovable rod that makes me so sad. I as a DM gave my players one because I thought it could be really fun to have clever use of and they only ever used it once after I told them no they can’t sink multiple pirate ships by having it lock in place and tear through the bottom of the ship. I said it would move with the ship just like everything else relative to the ship after that they didn’t want it. Like it’s a fun item to do some stuff with and they never used it after I said it wasn’t the answer to sinking all enemy ships in a pirate campaign.

I think I had a stroke when Caldwell started talking about late night chili like that was the most normal suggestion ever uttered

I swear there was an actual competition for holding your pee on a radio or talk show and a person did die.

A reunion of cousins is very good, Caldwell!

why did they shoot down caldwells water tight cork argument

Piss here- our DM apparently had the immovable rod in a previous campaign, and the half orc being an old PC of his. It was “only supposed to be a call-back item, not something up for grabs”. Guys- we had not played in that campaign with him lol

Related to the nat 1 broken bowstring ranger, I played a ranger at a table with a similar nat 1 fumble rule, but with a twist: a nat 1 attack roll triggered a DC10 DEX safe to avoid dropping a sword, breaking a bowstring, etc. When it happened to me, that DM ruled that I had one spare string and it would be an action to re-string, but would need to spend a few silver at a shop to get more spares.

“It’s for getting chips! Noooo!” 😭

I regularly roll 5 to 10 ones in a session. We started a spreadsheet because it got so bad. I’m also with a DM who harshly punishes ones. My warlock is constantly blasting my own teammates. I retired her and now I have a halfling divination wizard with the lucky feat.

Also Piss Angle reminds me of my old college roommate. We used to call him Piss Mark because the first weekend of freshman year he peed his pants and passed out in the hallway. Man, that guy sucked!

Can any of explain why the Immovable Rod is considered to be so game-breaking? Having interacted with it as both player and DM it’s struck me as occasionally useful, but mostly just sits in a bag waiting for a clever implementation.

Please record the live shows! At least for higher tier patrons!

I was 100% on board with Caldwell's basketball angle and was shocked and chagrined to hear the crits derision

So touted

(: thanks for my stat boost Murph, I’m actively job hunting right now and that +1 CHA is gonna do me wonders in interviews!

Much like the US Supreme Court, the Supreme Crit ignores established precedent, the historic water walk does not turn water to stone/ground/ect. ruling has been overturned, while I accept such folly from a flawed institution like the Court, I hold the Crit in higher regard and call for a mistrial on behalf of the submitter, they should not have to “get disappeared by NASA”

Wow! Love it!

Agree with Caldwell and his cork argument

When you have Water Walking in World of Warcraft, what would normally be a harmless fall into water instead turns into splattering like it was stone, I believe the logic in D&D is the same, it becomes land by default and you have to use your action to treat the water like water again

I just got the DM screen for my birthday, after a very fun first time at Benihana, and now I am gifted a dungeon court to carry me sweetly to bed and sturdily through work tomorrow. A birthday princess is me! Thank you, my queen and my kings, for making this wonderful show and all its wonderful little sub-shows. #loveworld

Very early in The Adventure Zone, Griffin included listener-designed items, like the Flaming Ragening Poison Sword of Doom as a ridiculous +10 sword with a ridiculous price, as well as an item to trick merchants into paying any price to obtain it, the players reasonably figured out the combo and Griffen sat down and drank his bitter medicine

That DM could have gotten out of that situation by revealing the Immovable Rod to be a knock-off, whether nerfed, or totally fake and something the gambler used to trick people, it's also not unreasonable if enemies can just overcome it, pushing the button, mage hand, Dispell Magic, anti-magic zones. I believe Critical Role once tried to trap a dragon with one, and instead the dragon chose to allow it to pierce them outwards to escape it

“Piss Angle is on your hands”Lololol

Another Immovable Rod thing, huh? That does make sense, its existence begs a lot of questions about how it works, it's one of those items that forces you to create precedent about magical physics and metaphysics, the way when you have multiple bags of holding, you gotta consider what happens if you put one inside the other

“The security guards are gonna TPK you” sounds like Bonfrer behavior.

It does say "harmless ground" p-p lol. I dont think water walk makes the ground hard like concrete, but more like a jello or something. I agree though since it doesnt say there is a resistance to fall damage, it shouldn't automatically give you damage reduction.

The dex check should've applied to diving into the water in a way that wasn't like hitting concrete, but yeah water walking would make that situation worse not better.

I completely agree with Caldwells cork argument & think everybody was so dismissive for no reason lol

speaking my #truth this new year: i always hear caldwell and (for some reason) mike trapp in the d&d court theme song

fun fact re: cork and bouyancy! lifejackets used to be made of cork, but we learned of its potential dangers during the titanic because when ppl had to jump into the water from greater heights as the ship sank, the cork would make such great impact with the water that it'd hit the wearer's chin and knock them out. this is bc the person would sink into the water, but the buoyancy of the cork would prevent it from sinking with the body, so it's like if you jumped into a pool and hit your chin on the ledge on the way down. so even if waterwalk did give the caster cork-like properties, it could instead be argued that it'd cause *more* damage than not having the spell active :'D

This episode took me back to the no-jerk June and dry July bit in Hot Boy Summer

Obviously the fight with the giant golems should have started, but it shouldn’t have started until the NEXT session. That gives tension at the table since they’re separated, dramatic irony when one group doesn’t know the other is in danger, and THEN you get to kill them both WHILE THE OTHER PLAYERS ARE THERE. That’s both the most interesting and funniest option

Re-stringing a bow could literally just be a survival check if you wanted to make it a challenge, that's crazy to withhold a bow for two sessions (HOURS) from a player without even a check

Does anyone know what campaign that’s from in D20 where everyone socks this guy in the gut?

Caldwell: What's it called when you have multiple cousins? Everyone else: Cousins 😂😂

They asked for a 2026 reset on Jake jokes, and I think it’s “every DM is named Jake”

Awww I love you too Murph!

brother WHAT are you talking about 🥀

I feel like I’m getting a UTI just from LISTENING to holding in piss talk (don’t hold your piss, kids)

I am NOT a ranger irl, but I do have a functional bow, that I carved from a stave at 14, with a string that I made, at 14. It is nearly 20 years old now. I, not a ranger, absolutely could repair the string. On the other hand, if the wood split or something, I expect the whole thing would be toast. Then it might make sense to have to wait til you had more downtime or could replace parts or something.

As long as the murderers don't murder Morgan Freeman during their 30 yr sentence!!!

DUN DUN

Best thing to see for my commute home from work !

Clocked out of work just to clock into dungeon court!

Dick Werewolf

i like angsty jake

I really thought in 2026, Murph would stop hating Anchorman. When will he give it a chance?

YEAHHHHHHH NADDPOD

DUN DUN

I just want to know what would have happened if the bard had asked to just... buy the rod normally before the Barbarian started gambling?

Phew, good timing. I was just about to do some introspection

DUN DUN

Done Jinn 🧞‍♀️

DUN DUN

DUN DUN

Let’s fucking go!

DUN DUN!