D&D Court: Squishy Bears, Fishy Crits, and Uncommon Common
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Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and Axford, along with Bailiff Jake, as they pass judgement on your trials at the table!
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Comments (118)
Dms have the problem of "My players seem really invested. How do I ruin it and take it away?"
What about on a nat 20 that doesn't save, grants a second roll of dc15 or something. Ferngully on laser disc baby. For the Nat 20 gf DM, make another player confront her lol
Anyone with better memory remember which episode they discussed flurry of blows? My dnd table is fighting over this and I want to play the case for them. Thank you!
D&D Court: Bonus Cases - Table Flipping, Table Therapizing, and Table Exile
Gotta comment on the language barrier DM. Usually pretty onboard with the rulings, but I think there’s several great reasons to do this that can be very fun if the players aren’t sticks. Are language barriers a life experience the DM deals with, or knows somebody who does? Regardless, It’s a very real experience many people have - through spoken language, deafness, muteness, etc - and bringing that to the table can provide an enriching experience. Sure players didn’t sign up for it, but why does the challenge, which is seen in plenty of media, have to be such a bad thing? Because they maybe missed a few things and had to navigate and roleplay more? Maybe it wasn’t for the players, but it doesn’t have to mean the DM is being some try-hard. So, yeah, lower the volume judges. 💚
Woah woah woah lower your volume I do agree with you somewhat that I liked the language barrier idea more than the ruling, but what gets me is that the players were interested in learning about the local culture but had no way of doing that. I do think that the dm should've had an alternative way to communicate just enough for the players to be able to adequately explore the world. Something like some townsfolk speaking broken common or having some common words used here and there (similar to how Japanese uses some English words) or maybe something visual like diagrams or posters about the festivities. Even with a lot of what you mentioned a translation app will aleviate a lot of the major communication roadblocks, at least for travelers. I could definitely imagine a translation spell with limitations that would mimic your phone battery dying or not having service even though it works sometimes to translate well in general. There would still be issues but they'd still be able to understand something if they spent time/resources trying to figure it out. Essentially, I don't mind the language barrier but I don't think there needs to be a language impenetrable fortress
My heart STOPPED when murph said lower the volume lmao
Nat 20 does not mean auto success
you wouldnt call a "Critical Success" a successful endeavor? lmao your table sounds super fun
Emily with the HHGTTG babel fish reference :)
THE TRUTH HAS TO MATTER!!!!!! merch when
For the nat 20 save question if there were no other factors (I feel like that would've been brought up if so?🤷♀️) I would be just as pissed about having a roll that is just impossible to pass. I don't really see the difference between 'you don't get a roll you're dead' or 'you rolled the best possible and died anyway cause the dc is impossible' But I also don't like the raw nat 20 don't work on checks and saves. You're telling me I can hit extra good with a sword 1/20 but can't jump outta the way extra good 1/20. So just personal taste I guess
why are you expecting the DM to bend the rules to the game you agreed to play? why are you expecting them, the person who already works the hardest at the table, to remember the feature of every character? if you're fighting an avatar of Tiamat then presumably you're at a level where it's possible an ally could buff these saves, even if the DM did know the player's dex off hand (admittedly not a stat that changes much) that doesn't mean they shouldn't be calling for a roll for something that uh calls for a roll. "roll" "22" "doesn't pass" wow look at that it's a 3 second interaction. y'all are so wrong
Fun fact, I work at a library in MA and each card allows up to 150 physical check outs (with a limit of 6 on video games), so you could, possibly, get every single Tom Cruise movie!
Who up morkin their borg?
For the bear DM. If you want a hearfelt ending that would allow the bear to leave the party but still be in the universe, is to pull a Toy Story 3 (the TRUE final movie in the series). Just have the lil bear eventually become attached to a child NPC and at the end of an arc, have the teddy bear decide it's wants to stay with the child to keep them safe and be their friend while the party hopefully understands that their time with the bear has come to an end and that it's time to move on. ...but also, a little teddy in a tiny tank blasting monsters would be so frikkin adorable!!
As the bear DM (I swear I'm not as blood thirsty as Justice Murphy suggests), I really really like this idea and will probably use it as his write off when wrapping up our campaign
So I actually did a campaign with a lot of languages and it worked out great. It was a pirate campaign, where the party at least the original party were all from the other side of the world and they traveled across the sea to get here. Think “the new world“ But I made it where some languages are similar enough that if you spoke elvish back home it was similar here. But some human languages were brand new. The key is having the party all know DIFFERENT LANGUAGES from the start. This is why character sheets have a languages part so it’s not just for combat. It resulted in some players being the ones to relay the messages from some people, getting trusted npcs to help, and having broken conversations that were mysterious. So I would leave out words or what not. I would speak kinda broken language IRL bc the npc didn’t know common well or the party only knew a little bit of the language they were speaking. So it can be very fun but you gotta be upfront and give players the chance during character creation to pick out languages bc many people see that as just fluff so you need to be clear before the game starts. But that is only for some languages again mine they were explorers so some they had no clue about and had to go find someone to help. It seems to me that the “shady inn keeper” was a plot hook where you had an unreliable translator which would be fun to get into trouble when you can tell they are lying but you can’t figure out how or why.
Our library keeps an "obsolete technology collection" for all the media that we can't reformat that still have any circulation. You have to handle it here, generally (though I think we do have loanable VCRs?), but we ensure that everything can still be accessed.
Why did Murph all of the sudden get stuck on the stats of eight Nat 20’s in a row. The boyfriend never said she rolled 8 in a row. Unless I fully missed something.
I get what you mean, but I took it as limiting the recorded rolls to the first 2 of each encounter, then acknowledging the insane odds those would ALL be 20s.
“Teddy bears are at war right now” that made me very sad
I cannot disagree more on the Uncommon Common case. The campaign sounds very fun. It seems like the DM wants to recreate the experience of actually traveling. The hosts say that this isn't an issue in LotR but there are tons of stories where it is. All kinds of pulp fiction has the heroes hiring translators, learning bits of languages, etc. It's an exciting vector for story-telling. If the player wants to be able to communicate more with other people they should spec their character that way! Spend a feat on learning some common languages, focus on intelligence, etc. Spells like comprehend languages are a leftover from a vision of D&D that did care about language difference and reducing them to combat buffs betrays a lack of imagination about what D&D can be.
Agreed, I’m genuinely surprised the DM was shit on at all in this case. The player just kind of sounds entitled.
We follow the RAW of our hearts! 🙌❤️
In ~2018, I found a beautiful collection of classic animated films on laser disk at a thrift store still shrink-wrapped! I brought them back to school with me because I helped run the animation department's stop motion lab. Our visiting professor excitedly suggested I arrange a screening series, so I started making arrangements... I contacted FIVE DIFFERENT LOCAL COLLEGES and nobody could locate a laser disk player ☠️. Some people disappointedly told me theirs had been given away or sold, stopped working or thrown out, or lost among piles of defunct equipment. A few actually just laughed at the idea I even asked 😅. It got to the point where we even pursued funding to purchase one-- until realizing they average ~$300. To this day, I've kept the collection in hopes of fulfilling that dream 🥲💭💫💞
Caldwell's pooh voice🤣🤣🤣
Murph really be assuming the worst in people
I think if nat 20 as a "critical success" regardless of how much it adds up to, and ones the same way.
Clancy Tom sent me
Você não consegue lidar com a verdade.
My library allows 50 checkouts for 3 weeks, but the caveat is we have a really dismal DVD collection.
If it makes the nat 20 saver feel better, vulnerability does not overcome immunity, so their grave and tempest combo should have done 0 hp.
As a fellow Dec 20 bday, excited to start calling it the Crit bday
I distinctly recall watching "Richie Rich" on laser disc. I'm honestly surprised anybody even remembers that format existed.
Regarding Emily's affection for winks at ~58:00--whoever wants to see Emily *herself* wink right down the barrel under the most unimaginable of circumstances needs to get over to Gastronauts now
Mork Wahl-Borg?
DM could have used Sidekick rules for the Teddy if the party wanted Teddy to start entering the fray
I'm surprised Caldwell didn't say final fantasy ten albehd dictionary
for the confessional, the player might have either been a rogue with reliable talent, eloquence bard, or might have had expertise in the skill. so it might not have been a true sin against dice christ
We were level 3, I don't think this could be reached even with great luck for ability scores, could it?
To shine some light on the Mork Borg case: I have played Pirate Borg, which uses the Mork Borg system, and death is very common. I would say almost celebrated. I have rolled really well in Pirate Borg and still ended the session dead. So, maybe that’s why the players relented the DM going back on the PC death. But your players insisting that you’re lying is bullshit.
What’s so crazy about a DM wanting the languages of the world matter? They take up multiple parts of the book, show up in multiple steps of character creation, have entire rules about them… and most tables prefer to completely gloss over it. One DM tries to incorporate a language barrier challenge and suddenly it’s a crisis
I think the issue is when it becomes a barrier to interacting with the world. Let the characters learn the language or at least have a means to communicate even if it’s just gesturing. But having no means of communicating isn’t a great story building experience.
Disadvantage on charisma checks when you’re speaking Common feels like a good compromise
Going to WWE tonight murph! Not related
Teddy Bear DM—my childhood teddy bear literally got run over by a tractor trailer on a highway in Connecticut 36 years ago but my mom stopped the car and grabbed him off the road and he is really no worse for wear (although he did lose an eye). I think the party’s little guy is honestly gonna be fine. 😂
I was mistaking Vanila Sky for October Sky this whole episode
This is the best comment.
First case made me want to read Threadbare by Andrew Seiple litrpg series again.
How does the bear have AC 3? How does anything have AC 3? A commoner who is actively trying to throw themselves onto the BBEG sword is higher, and they’re a larger target! Cloth items usually have 11 AC, +1 for every size class smaller than medium, and the HP is either 2 or 3 depending on size category(this is assuming it’s considered a “delicate” item and not a “resilient” one). If it’s tucked into a bag or armor, it has total cover. So if you’re going to murder this bear, at least do it by the books.
This teddy bear actively wants to die?
the nat 20 saving throw case, that's why I think the fact that the rules are that nat 20s don't do anything other than on attacks is just dumb, because it goes against what combat crits train players to expect and failing on a nat 20 always results in a deflating moment and hurt feelings. I don't blame the DM for being a rules stickler, I blame the designers for not realizing how many bad moments this rule would create
to be fair at such a high lev that theyre output is 300+ damage its reasonable for the designers and dm to account for pc creep such as flash of genius, bardic inspiration etc to boost saves (esp w tiamat’s dc of 27!!), like caldwell said. its not in the case as presented but if youre fighting tiamat and youre good enough to do combo attacks like that youd think the tactics of having saving throw boosts would be assumed and balanced for.
For the communication case, everyone forgets the limits of literacy in low tech cultures. I would make the Common language a low language without a written component at all. Without the standardization the written word gives, every community has a different way of speaking the "low" language. DC 10 near the capital, DC 15 or higher for smaller towns to understand complex concepts. Add read/write language as a separate language skill that you can take.
I would’ve come out the other way on the language case. I find it weird how much language barriers get avoided in TTRPGs. I get WHY — communicating is fun — but personally I think overcoming language barriers in a fantasy setting can lead to a lot more entertaining situations. Plus it makes spells like Comprehend Languages even more powerful, when often those spells get neglected or ignored. Just my two coppers.
You don't understand. This DM REAAAAALLLLLLY wants to kill off this bear and destroy his players fun. Lol
another idea for the language barrier submission could be homebrewing different dialects for different cultures/regions that share a language. it could go more in depth than this but wood elves and high elves having different forms of elvish as an example. idk i’m not super informed on linguistics so i apologize if that’s not how dialects and language work. an old coworker who spoke arabic couldn’t always translate arabic for us depending on the person’s dialect. that’s pretty much what i’m going off of lol
they also touched on this when they were responding to that submission but i like the idea of lowering the persuasion DC by studying the language. like it might still be hard to converse but knowing a few phrases or words might go a long way. the PCs might not make out everything the NPCs are saying and vice versa but they have a chance of at least coming to an understanding.
Hope you guys review the grinch meal
As someone from a bilingual province who does have to deal with communication difficulties, I actually wonder whether the DM is interested in playing with those issues via an RPG medium. There could be something thematic that they're trying to accomplish, and I wonder if there's a way to talk with them about their reasons while not giving everything away. I think there is also space to let the players find creative ways to cope with this, just like people do in real life - learning languages in their downtime, paying an NPC hireling to translate... It's maybe a generous read but I can't help but wonder if there's some really cool story / thematic experience that would be missed by just giving the players a Babel fish!
It does sound kinda like the DM has a cool idea that they weren't able to land. I agree, the idea finding solutions to deal with a language barrier, and gradually become more proficient in the language over the campaign, sounds like fun in theory.
I forget which show Aabria Iyengar mentioned this on, but I bekieve she mentioned she used to make dice, and the only fair dice are the ones used by casinos that go through a bunch of quality control processes and only keep the most perfectly equal one, so our math on the probability of dice rolls are irrelevant in the face of the fact different dice DO roll differently, and it's not superstition
I had a DM once who wanted me to water test my dice for fairness if I re-inked them with nail polish so I could read them in his basement. I thought that was a little excessive.
What I love about the renting a dvd from the library bit is they assume we all have ways to watch dvds
as a librarian, the second question I get when I say we have dvds is "can I also get something to watch them on"
It’s a platter 5 dvd player…it’ll fit
I thought a Nat 20 was auto succeed?
That's actually not in the book, it's just a very very commonly used house rule
Nanu Nanu-Resistance is futile. Anyone?! Come old-timers, do me right.
Bring me The Dip. “NOOO….Not the dip! Anything but the dip.” Pppppppuuuhhhlllleeeasssee!
awww man, the first one reminds me of the time i played a (homebrewed to hell) awakened teddy bear who stole your dreams (rogue base with some extra magic). she belonged to a princess who abandoned her once she outgrew teddy bears and her entire quest was hunting this bitch down and telling her off about it 😂😂 rip Lady Snuggles von Corduroy, i was such an obnoxious player in my early 20s and would play her so differently now lol.
Fishy Crits are delicious
Love me a fishy crit
YEAHHHHHH DVD FLIPPING JOIN US MURPH
The Winker is making an appearance in my campaign
mork zuckerborg
As a librarian, every time you bring up borrowing DVDs from the library it kills me. It’s so good, yet so hilarious every time. Thank you for promoting library resources!
thank you for your service!
You had alien on laserdisk as well!
RSS feed doesn't seem to be showing up in YouTube music unfortunately 😔
IF there's a limit to checking out DVDs from the library, then it's going to be a crazy high number. My sister and her four kids have over 200 books checked out at any given time, so I can't imagine they'd be stingy with lending out a nearly antiquated media format.
God as someone who loves languages and travel irl, I would love to be at the DM's table with limited Common. It sounds so fun! I think it's a mismatch of what the DM and the player(s) find fun
It's also better worldbuilding to have languages not tied to racial backgrounds! But, that might also be part of the mismatch. If my character speaks common, goblin, and gnomish rules as written, it would be frustrating for the language barrier to always be languages I had no access to in character creation because my dm made them up. Working with the players to figure out which in-game languages they DO know will make it more fun when they encounter languages they don't know.
*Taking notes* Okay so I need to cast heat metal on Pooh's tank right? But thank you Justices I humbly accept your judgement and will be keeping our fluffy friend around for a long time
Theobald 🤝🏻awakened teddy bear Squishy bears
So Bear Death? That’s like when we die right?
did anyone else think a teddy bear would resist bludgeoning damage and be vulnerable to slashing damage?
True! I'd have them find an ancient pixie ruin where a tiny suit of +4 mithril and tiny boots of springing & striding will be easily found if they just look. That way, the plot armor has an adorable explanation and teddy can keep up with the party without being carried.
My absolutely favorite line from the wiki page for Mork Borg: "In 2018, Swedish writer Pelle Nilsson designed a dark RPG while waiting in queue for eight hours to have a load of apples juiced."
by how they pronounced it I had no idea it was swedish! it translates to something like “dark castle” just a note that I loved how they pronounced it hahaha unfortunately idk how to type how it would be pronounced
It's interesting that you brought up Lord of the Rings in the communication question because every group in Middle Earth has its own language. The Rohirrim and Gondorans specifically speak in their own languages at times, and there are multiple versions of elvish and dwarfish. AND EVERYONE COULD STILL SPEAK A COMMON LANGUAGE because it's better for stories and also historically people spoke multiple languages to communicate between neighboring provinces and kingdoms. Lingua Franca is a phrase for a reason!
Out of curiosity, I looked it up, and Tiamat has a fucking *27* DC save. I want to render judgement against the person that made that stat block.
it's an end of campaign encounter bruh
I will never understand DMs who want to crit on their players… I did it once, only like 3 sessions in and it killed a player. I’ve been haunted by it ever since…
lowly lowly say that you’re lowly
I've been playing for 8 years now, and I've NEVER heard of someone making a nat20 on a save and still failing. DM was at fault for even making the player roll.
I looked it up, assuming that the DM was just killing a PC, but the actual Tiamat stat block has an effing 27 save DC. You'd need to be a Hexblood to actually save, but the DM was technically just doing a 'normal turn' by asking for the roll.
Y'all, bless his heart, Caldwell says words weird..."vay-lient"?!?
Tiamat, the Dragon Queen used her breath weapon. Why would you not have to roll for it even if you can't save? Also, RAW you can't crit on skill checks and saving throughs. You played an entire campaign with a DM who only runs RAW, and you're surprised you didn't get to still save even though you failed? Idk why but that submission and the empathy shown towards the player went up my ass, but that's probably more a me issue than anything haha. I'll hang up and listen.
The crew seemed pretty reasonable in their take? They said it’s RAW, pointed out that the submitter said the DM had been consistent running the game RAW the whole time, and provided several examples for why a roll would still be called for even if the PC couldn’t pass (player abilities, buffs, DM isn’t always constantly aware of the everyone’s saving throw). They just agree it kinda sucks to get insta-killed that way, but still ruled against the submitter. I actually thought it was one of their more detailed breakdowns.
I could check out 80 tom cruise movies from my library. And have them for 2 weeks
who up morking they borg is crazy work, hugh caldwell tanner
Skaldova season 2 huh
WOOOOOO
guys i saw grinch-themed coffee beans (along with the grinch hot sauces of course) at a coffee shop near me
Just wanted to let everyone know that mcdonalds has a grinch meal right now 🫶 love and light
I think of the 2 crew every time I drive past a Maccas 😂
OH HELL YEAH.
Praise be to Christ Herwitz
Gawd! I just caught up and have nothing unlistened to (that I have access to) and I've been DYING for some more of these 4 beautiful people
same! I've been having to listen to *other podcasts* and nothing is scratching the itch! maybe I'll do a 4th listen of C1...
Virgin mom confirmed
hell yeah
Dice Christ blesses us
just in time for bed. thanks yall
Two crew!!!
Best birthday present ever <3