Episode 27: Digital Digital Digital Circus

I had zero interest in watching TADC because, and I admit this wasn't fair to the creators involved, the fanbase was obnoxious online and I sort of assumed it would feel similar to something like Homestuck, which I hated. But seeing Johnny interested in it made me re-evaluate that and I ended blasting through the show in two days and loved it. The ending made me tear up because it's the exact sort of schmaltzy that hits me in the emotions.

I’m sure this will lead to nothing good from me saying this (by all means joke at my expense). I love you guys and couldn’t care less about spoony and his content. But this felt a little nasty and not really something I enjoy to listen to. The guy is being woah is me sure, and maybe he deserves a bad reception to that. Whatever it may be this felt like some high school bully conversation. Maybe he’s full of shit but hearing y’all listen to someone talk about mental health (I truly do not know the legitimacy) and in reaction only make fun of it felt uncomfortable. I’m probably a baby here lol but felt worth mentioning. Wish you guys the best always and will continue to tune in. Keep up the great work!

Next podcast guest: Spoony

when are we getting a premium ep where Johnny and Meg watch all the channel awesome movies?

I've been holding out on watching TADC but I do think Zach's character being a Gaither's Pond reference is really funny.

Johnnys brought up spoony a lot and I always wondered if he watched the Down the Rabbit Hole of him, so glad he shout out Fredrik Knudsen; really good episode on vaporwave. Since you brought up Guru Larry, you gotta look into the feud between him and Pat the NES Punk. I watched digital circus up until the fast food episode then tried to go back since the movie was coming out and the next episode just made me go “This is just Steven Universe…”

Spoilers in my comment so anyone who hasn't watched it don't read. When I saw the digital circus finale in theaters I was alone and I was able to hold myself together but when I watched it again at home I sobbed, like full on ugly crying. I haven't been able to get it out of my head since I saw it, it hit so many things from my own experience being trans and in my life in general that it made me reflect on myself. It especially hit hard when Gooseworx posted what a post-transition Jax would have looked like on Blusky. It made me want that for the character so badly but I know the show wouldn't have the same impact if Jax had a happy ending. One thing you missed here is that Jax's mom was abusive and when Jax tried to come out to her, she insulted her for hours before trying to hug her (i'm using she/her for Jax here). It's part of why Jax couldn't face herself and let her true self out and why her relationship with Ribbit fell apart, I think it was symbolized by one of the doors in Jax's psyche being boarded up and locked. That's where her true self was. I think there's a lot of people who were fans of the show that weren't down for something that introspective and difficult to swallow so it really pissed them off. I feel like there's a lot of people who have never engaged in difficult/challenging media before and this was the first thing that they've ever seen that was like that. Maybe I'm wrong but the response made me feel like people just don't engage with anything that's not easy to digest. One thing I think about though is that abstraction isn't necessarily a 1 to 1 with suicide. The VA who plays Caine talked about it in a post, that it could be interpreted as being like a mental health crisis that someone could potentially recover from. I feel like the fact that the abstractions are given their own spaces at the end sort of points towards that. You can see Kinger reading in the abstraction "aquarium", I like to think he's reading to his abstracted wife. I also feel like Pomni will not give up on Jax and continue to try to help her. Part of me wishes there'd be another part of the series where the main problem is trying to help the abstractions, I think there'd be interesting things to explore there, although i don't know if that would be a good idea, it will probably never happen in any case. Last thing I wanna say about the show: even if some people weren't happy with the ending the fact that a trans independent animator created a show telling a trans story that got into theaters and outperformed fucking star wars is a colossal achievement. That needs to be celebrated, especially now when trans rights are under such vicious attacks.

I have a lot to say about Digital Circus but one thing real quick: the real world Jax is trans coded and Gooseworx talked about it in a deleted Bluesky post. She said the real world Jax was dressed as a "boymoder", a trans woman who dresses in a way that hides her appearance to not have to deal with transphobia. If you look at the very end you see that Jax is wearing a big hoodie and has bangs, a very stereotypical boymoder outfit.

I usually wait to watch these on youtube but I think i need to hear your digital circus thoughts now

Saw Patryc post the saving all the dead celebrities vids the day after i sent him to Meg and though "oh no it got worse!"

Spoony’s whole story from youtube review guy to depressed schlub that refuses to brush the dirt off, get some help and do something with himself is so antithetical to so many other artists and creators out there. I feel like a lot of times (at least for me; Meg also makes this point) when I’m in a depressive season or it’s just hitting hard that day, I use it as motivation to improve and do what needs to be done. Because I know that if I don’t, I’ll just feel worse. As you guys said in the episode, that whole tweet situation would have been a call to action for anyone else with the willingness to act. I think it’d be more admirable to say “I’m tired, depressed and I don’t want to do it anymore.” But I think he’s too surrounded by maybe former fans and family that just goad him on to keep his pity party donation boxes up and milk whatever change he can get from someone willing to chuck him five bucks for having existed on the internet. They may also just echo his own sentiments he holds about himself as well. And those negative comments always hit harder and louder than any of the tons of supportive and kind replies Johnny mentions he’d received on those posts. Really it all goes to show that if you don’t truly believe in yourself and lack the support system to help lift you up when you’re down, you’ll never improve. As sad as it is, at least in that facet, he serves as a living lesson for people who give up, stop trying and choose not to surround themselves with good supportive friends. Like, artist, creator, whatever- the lesson’s there. Also therapy REALLY helps. Like that should be NUMBER ONE out of AAALL of that he should do for himself.

I binged tadc just in time